Inspiration, Encouragement & Strength
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Encouraging Words From Your Peers

Excerpts from Our Community to You

DO NOT LOSE the memory of how you felt before he left. For me it was not good.  Be honest, write everything down that you can remember feeling, and then ask yourself if it was REALLY better.  Don't get stuck in the familiar.  We all want to be in a familiar space.  It feels better to be attached than unattached. But that doesn't mean it was the right place to be. Write everything down as to what was bothersome or upsetting about your relationship and what was good.  There's always good.  It's easier to remember that.  Your heart is looking for something happy to hold on to.  You need to remember the things bad, then decide to create some good things for yourself for your heart to hang on to.  Once you do that it will get easier.  Right now you need to find your crown.  It isn't easy, tip toe if you must, but keep moving forward … (continue reading)

You are still in the great abyss. You are on step one: get divorced. You are sitting around waiting, but next year you will get things done. This year is the year that I like to call "the lost year." Just regroup every day and try and cross things off your list. You don't need to be efficient and perfect. Shoot for good enough. You can be perfect and efficient sometime later. Putting energy into a paycheck is always good. You'll get there when you get there. You'll love tomorrow and tomorrow is tomorrow. Enjoy your show and your "me" time. You are still in the phase where you need to forgive yourself often ... (continue reading)

Letting go just takes time. For me missing him (or the fantasy he promised anyway) stopped after about six months. They put on a great mask for us in the beginning and THAT'S what we fell in love with, NOT the real man hiding underneath, cause that guy is selfish. Once it really sinks in that the man you thought he was isn't even real, it'll become easier to let him go. That was just a mask he used to lure you in but he couldn't maintain it long term. You loved him and you committed yourself to him. Loving and missing your husband doesn't make YOU broken or co-dependent or anything else. It makes you a loving and loyal wife. Cut yourself some slack and keep up the good work. You are right where you need to be (even though it hurts like hell right now) and you are doing exactly what you need to do to heal ... (continue reading)

Congratulations on finding the board and joining. Everyone here is incredibly supportive and can relate in many ways to what you're going through. I think the best thing to do is find a therapist. It can be temporary, but they will help you gain perspective, lose the guilt and build up your self-confidence. You did a very brave thing, maybe the hardest thing you've ever done in your life by leaving your husband. You just need some support. I think that would be an excellent gift to give yourself … (continue reading)

I am so sorry that it hurts so badly. Stay strong, it's going to be tough for a while. Someone on this site once told me the following and it resonated with me for a long, long while: "You never really get over someone who once meant so much in your life, you just learn to live without them because they have moved on and so must you." Just don't contact him. Every time you do you are taking a step backwards and will have to start all over again. I'll be thinking of you and sending you good vibes … (continue reading)

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