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Divorce Doctor

Get healthy divorce advice from our in-house specialist.  Whether you need tips on choosing a mediator or you want an expert's opinion on post-divorce parenting, she has answers for your most troubling questions.  Ask away, the doctor is in!

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Dear PamI am going to sound like a complete hypocrite. I broke up with my ex because he was cheating on me. It was an emotionally devastating time for me.  I’ve been single for about five years now. I haven’t dated much because I’ve been concentrating on my career. The men I did go out on dates with did nothing for me. Now, I think I’m in love with someone very special. OK, I know I am. We have a strong emotional connection and you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. We can talk for hours about anything. He’s a wonderful person. There is one catch – he’s married! I know!  Nothing has happened. He would never cross that line, nor would I.  He never badmouths his wife, who I have met briefly a few times, but it is clear he is miserable. We’re not young, my kids are grown and so are his. I’m not imagining his attraction for me, lots of other people notice and comment on it. He makes excuses to spend time with me. We’re friends, but I want more. On the other hand, even though this has being going on for a few years, I don’t know how to ask him how he truly feels and what he is going to do about it. I know he doesn’t love his wife, but he also doesn’t want to hurt her. 
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Friday, 02 August 2013 18:01
Dear Pam,My ex refuses to move out. We officially separated six months ago and filed for divorce. We have two children, twelve and fourteen. He says that it would be unfair to sell the house and take the children away from their neighborhood friends and school. He is living in the basement, which has its own bathroom and kitchen. That wouldn’t be so bad, but he comes upstairs whenever he feels like it. This was supposed to be a temporary arrangement while we tried to figure out what to do, but he says it is working well and wants to keep it like that for who knows how long.  He is a great father and it is wonderful for the children having him around, but I can’t move on with my life. We didn’t have major issues in our marriage, but we both realized we weren’t in love with each other anymore and probably never were. I was pregnant when we got married, so we kind of rushed into it. I am not ready to start dating yet, but even when I have my girlfriends over and we want to trash talk or spill our guts, I feel like he is listening through the vents. He even brought a woman home once. I don’t care, but I could hear them down there. How do I get rid of him?Home isn’t where the heart is 
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Friday, 26 July 2013 18:39
The Divorce Doctor responds to a question posed by one of our readers in the comment section for “My Narcissistic Ex-Husband- The Idealization Phase of Your Relationship”.Crazytrain wrote:Sounds like my ex. I have been up all night because I have been caring for our four kids while he woos his hew girlfriend. We divorced six months ago and he has already convinced her to marry him. It makes me sick that he seems to have turned into a saint overnight. Just worried he will want custody of my kids after all the sacrifices I have made for them. Now he is trying to act like father of the year after he walked out on all of us. Question that burns in my head... Is it really my fault? He treated me horribly but always blamed me. Has he changed or is this girl his new victim? 
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Friday, 19 July 2013 20:04