Inspiration, Encouragement & Strength
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Megan Thomas

The soundtrack of my life is, "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" by The Clash. I don't even like The Clash.

I've been married for a little under 10 years. My husband and I met when we were both serving in the military, and after a long friendship we became inseparable. Our real marriage troubles began a couple of years ago, and right now I'm in the miserable stage of "Contemplating Divorce."

My husband doesn't want to separate. I'm having issues with breaking up our family. Basically, I'm a mess. If it wasn't my mess, I'd think it was actually pretty funny.

I'm in my mid-thirties and I have two kids who I love more than I ever thought possible. My kids are pretty young: one still in diapers and the other on the verge of starting preschool. I stay home with them during the day and manage to get my writing done when I can, but I'm really happy that I'm able to be their primary caregiver. My kids rock.

I do find plenty of things to keep me occupied. I do plenty of volunteer work and I'm very active in my church. My kids — and the mass quantities of coffee I consume — are what keep me going throughout the day. I know that someday soon I'll be forced to finally take some definitive action because I certainly can't keep going on like this with my marriage in limbo. No amount of coffee can make me forget that things just aren't right, but it certainly helps to add a ton of mocha and whipped cream.

Megan Thomas

Most Recent Articles

The Diamond Ring Metaphor

Sunday, 09 March 2008 10:00
I'm not the kind of person who looks for omens or signs or anything like that. On the other hand, I'm not able to avoid realizing an uncanny metaphor when I see one, so here is my astute observation: The other day I noticed that the diamond on my…

Self-Help Book Lays On the Guilt

Wednesday, 10 August 2011 08:57
My therapist has me reading a book: Adult Children: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families. When he told me to read it he stressed that he didn't think my husband and I have necessarily created a dysfunctional family, but instead that we may both…

I Can't Keep Up the Façade Any Longer

Thursday, 13 March 2008 10:00
I've mentioned before that my husband and I are very active members of our church, and that our marital problems are not common knowledge within the congregation. We're still seen as the perfect couple, which sometimes is comforting to me while…

Preparing To Leave

Saturday, 15 March 2008 10:00
Months ago I tried to leave my husband. Those of you who have been reading my blog might remember that he played the suicidal feelings card and I haven't mentioned it since. Before I approached him with the idea of separation I prepared myself…

My Divorce Clock Is Ticking...Loudly

Wednesday, 19 March 2008 09:01
If you had asked me a year ago if I would still be in this marriage, I probably would have said no, heck no, no way. I was convinced the marriage was over and I was essentially just trying to figure out a way to exit gracefully with as little damage …

I've Got Something to Say

Friday, 21 March 2008 18:00
I'm starting to have a little more faith in my therapist. In our recent martial counseling session we didn't just sit there in silence like the last one. This time we got so emotional that I was crying, my husband was furious, and my therapist was…

I Need A Little Hope

Sunday, 23 March 2008 10:00
I had a meeting at a church the other day and happened upon the sanctuary where a young couple was rehearsing for their wedding ceremony. They both seemed nervous, but had that whole blissful, oh-I'm-so-in-love-with-this-person aura about them.The…

My Husband's Away On Business

Monday, 24 March 2008 09:00
My husband is out of town on business right now. He's been gone for a few days and will come home by the end of the week, and I'm having a great time.  No, I'm not boozing it up at the bar or hosting wild parties. What I'm doing is working at…

I'm Lonely In This Relationship

Thursday, 27 March 2008 16:00
When I think about divorce, I wonder if I will be lonely without a husband. I remember when I was single...sometimes I felt really lonely, especially when I would see a happy couple, snuggling and sharing private jokes.It really made me feel like I…

Stepping Up To The Plate

Sunday, 30 March 2008 12:00
I had a pretty bad case of the so-called baby blues after my son was born. My daughter wasn't even 2 years old yet, my husband's work schedule had him going out of town quite a bit, and I didn't get much help at all, since both our families live in…

Fear of the Unknown

Tuesday, 01 April 2008 16:21
"I just don't get it...why are you still in this relationship?" That's a quote from one of my readers, and it's a valid question. Honestly, I stared at that comment for about five minutes without moving, and then I read it aloud to myself. Then I…

Just Pretend Like Everything's Fine

Friday, 04 April 2008 08:00
Pop Quiz: What's the most awkward conversation you can have at church on a Sunday morning?Answer: Having a fellow churchgoer gush about what a great relationship you have with your husband when — unbeknownst to her — you've been struggling …

Making A Connection

Sunday, 06 April 2008 18:00
I once felt close to my husband. I used to feel like we were a team. It was no fun to have fights and disagreements with him, but when they happened it never felt like the end of the relationship was on the horizon. Instead, it just felt like we…

Seeing the Real Me

Friday, 11 April 2008 13:00
My husband and I did some volunteer work last weekend. We walked through the park and picked up trash for about two hours, which gave us the opportunity to talk. It seems like we hardly get to talk nowadays, because if there aren't children buzzing…

Keeping Tabs

Sunday, 13 April 2008 18:00
I write for a variety of Web sites. I'm really blessed to have steady work from a lot of different sources. I also do some editing work for a couple of sites, so all in all, I'm all over the Internet on a regular basis. My husband knows the name of…

The Reality of Leaving

Monday, 14 April 2008 17:00
I read a really interesting article the other day about getting ready for a recession. I know some people say we're already in one, while others caution that a recession is on the horizon, but I can tell you that everyone I know has been tightening…

Is He Cheating?

Thursday, 17 April 2008 19:00
I don't think my husband has ever cheated on me...physically. I have a pretty good inkling that he's had some emotional attachments to other women, especially the female gamers who he encountered when he was playing his online game seven or eight…

Staying Close By For The Kids

Saturday, 19 April 2008 13:00
I live far from my family. My husband's job demands frequent moves, so we go where his business is. I grew up in one part of the country and now I live in another.Although the area we live in now is decent, I would probably not choose to live here…

Alienating Friends to Save the Marriage

Monday, 21 April 2008 12:51
The pastor of my church is a friend of mine. We don't hang out socially or anything, but "Ted" is fun to chat with and we work together splendidly on church projects. He has acted as The Voice of Reason for me a few times when I needed a man's…

Therapy Doesn't Fix Everything

Thursday, 24 April 2008 16:00
I have been going to individual therapy once a week for a few months now. I'm not the kind of person who likes therapy, and in fact I pretty much loathe the entire process.I don't really like chatting about my problems with someone else, let alone…
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