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Megan Thomas

The soundtrack of my life is, "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" by The Clash. I don't even like The Clash.

I've been married for a little under 10 years. My husband and I met when we were both serving in the military, and after a long friendship we became inseparable. Our real marriage troubles began a couple of years ago, and right now I'm in the miserable stage of "Contemplating Divorce."

My husband doesn't want to separate. I'm having issues with breaking up our family. Basically, I'm a mess. If it wasn't my mess, I'd think it was actually pretty funny.

I'm in my mid-thirties and I have two kids who I love more than I ever thought possible. My kids are pretty young: one still in diapers and the other on the verge of starting preschool. I stay home with them during the day and manage to get my writing done when I can, but I'm really happy that I'm able to be their primary caregiver. My kids rock.

I do find plenty of things to keep me occupied. I do plenty of volunteer work and I'm very active in my church. My kids — and the mass quantities of coffee I consume — are what keep me going throughout the day. I know that someday soon I'll be forced to finally take some definitive action because I certainly can't keep going on like this with my marriage in limbo. No amount of coffee can make me forget that things just aren't right, but it certainly helps to add a ton of mocha and whipped cream.

Megan Thomas

Most Recent Articles

A neighbor and I were chatting over some coffee the other day when my husband walked into the room and told us about his coworker."Joe" is having a hard time with his divorce because he's still living with his wife and her children from a previous…

When Reality TV Isn't Very Realistic

Wednesday, 21 January 2009 08:10
The other night I was flipping through the channels on TV and stumbled upon a new VH1 reality show called The Tool Academy. Have you seen this train wreck yet? The premise is this: Some guys who think they are competing for the title of Mr. Awesome…

Is There An Agenda Here?

Thursday, 13 December 2007 18:00
I don't think my therapy is helping. I'm upset that I have to go to individual therapy right now instead of marital counseling with my husband. We started out going together, but after the first session my therapist decided I needed some individual…

Carrying A Dirty Secret

Saturday, 15 December 2007 14:00
Only a few people know that my husband and I have talked about separating. Wait. Scratch that. Only a few people know that I have talked about separating and my husband has fought it tooth and nail.My mom knows, and in her traditional…

How Can I Leave?

Monday, 17 December 2007 18:00
My husband agreed to a trial separation where I'll have an apartment for myself yet come over every morning and be with the kids all day just like always. The only difference is that when he comes home from work, I'll head off to my apartment…

I Want Him To Stand Up For Me

Wednesday, 19 December 2007 12:00
A big matter of contention between my husband and me is that in the very few instances when I've asked him to stand up for me to his family, he doesn't seem to be able to so. It's weird — we don't see his family too often since we live in…

When Will It Be Time To End It?

Sunday, 23 December 2007 18:00
It seems as though I've been in the process of deciding whether to leave my husband or not for such a long time. For some reason, I guess I just always assumed it would come down to one huge fight where one of us announced that the marriage was…

Holidays Making It Harder To Leave

Wednesday, 26 December 2007 14:00
When my husband and I were planning our holiday activities, he was very careful to phrase things delicately. When asking about his office party, he asked if I would be "comfortable" attending. When buying tickets for Breakfast with Santa, he…

Do I Really Need Fixing?

Wednesday, 12 December 2007 14:00
My husband and I have been married for eight years. We have two young children who I stay home with during the day. He is a professional man who never misses a day of work and who is relatively active within the community. To everyone around us…

But Who Gets The Church?

Friday, 08 July 2011 09:35
I'm a Christian woman. I belong to a liberal church, and I'm not the kind of person to run around spouting my beliefs to other people. Basically, Christianity works well for me, but I know it doesn't work well for everyone else. No biggie.My faith…

New Year, Same Old Marital Limbo

Sunday, 30 December 2007 14:00
I'll admit that I usually start every new year with a list of resolutions in my head, and they are usually the same: lose weight, save money, get organized, blah, blah, blah. I don't write the resolutions down and I never tell my friends and family…

Do I Really Have It That Bad?

Friday, 04 January 2008 10:00
I spend a lot of time thinking about women. No, it's not what you may think.I've traveled all over the world, and I can tell you that women around the globe do not all have the choices and advantages that the women in my culture enjoy. I live in a…

To Leave Or Not: Bear With Me

Sunday, 06 January 2008 18:00
Writing about contemplating divorce is a lot harder than I thought it would be. All week long I mull over what I'm going to write about, and this forces me to examine my situation much more than my therapist ever does. When I think about the topics…

Good Enough Is Not Ideal

Monday, 07 January 2008 10:00
My therapist asked me a very poignant question the last time I saw him. He asked me if I would ever consider eventually marrying again if I do divorce my husband. I suppose I might, but it seems like such a far-off possibility that it seemed like an …

Not Your Grandmother's Divorce

Wednesday, 09 January 2008 09:00
I recently had a rather bizarre conversation with my grandmother regarding divorce and how children are affected by it. My grandmother was actually divorced at a relatively young age, which was apparently quite scandalous for the times. Over the…

My Dreams Are Inconvenient For Him

Thursday, 10 January 2008 10:00
My Dreams Are Inconvenient For HimI started writing about a year and a half ago. I've always enjoyed writing and during the period of time when my husband was so efficiently and intentionally ignoring me, I decided to go ahead and try to score a…

Isn't It Time To Grow Up?

Friday, 11 January 2008 18:00
My therapist asked me if I married my husband with the intention of changing him. My response was that although I did not intend on consciously changing him, I did expect us to grow and mature together...especially after we had children.We were…

When Sex Is A Chore

Tuesday, 01 January 2008 11:00
My husband and I still have sex with each other. Our sex life is strained and I would be fine with stopping entirely, but I do feel obligated to allow him the occasional intimate indulgence since we are married.Even though I've talked to him about…

The Day I Tried To Leave Him

Wednesday, 16 January 2008 18:00
Let me tell you about the night I tried to leave my husband. It's a touchy subject with me, and one that I don't like to talk about at all, but I think it will reveal a lot about me to those of you who might be wondering why in the world I'm still…

Divorced Pariah?

Friday, 18 January 2008 10:00
The vast majority my friends are married. The other day I started wondering about how my relationships with my friends would change if I were to leave my husband. Although I'm sure some of them would applaud my decision to seek out happiness, I have …
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