The soundtrack of my life is, "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" by The Clash. I don't even like The Clash.
I've been married for a little under 10 years. My husband and I met when we were both serving in the military, and after a long friendship we became inseparable. Our real marriage troubles began a couple of years ago, and right now I'm in the miserable stage of "Contemplating Divorce."
My husband doesn't want to separate. I'm having issues with breaking up our family. Basically, I'm a mess. If it wasn't my mess, I'd think it was actually pretty funny.
I'm in my mid-thirties and I have two kids who I love more than I ever thought possible. My kids are pretty young: one still in diapers and the other on the verge of starting preschool. I stay home with them during the day and manage to get my writing done when I can, but I'm really happy that I'm able to be their primary caregiver. My kids rock.
I do find plenty of things to keep me occupied. I do plenty of volunteer work and I'm very active in my church. My kids — and the mass quantities of coffee I consume — are what keep me going throughout the day. I know that someday soon I'll be forced to finally take some definitive action because I certainly can't keep going on like this with my marriage in limbo. No amount of coffee can make me forget that things just aren't right, but it certainly helps to add a ton of mocha and whipped cream.
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