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I have to say I've been feeling pretty good lately. It's almost surreal. My life is hardly extravagant, but like many things in life, it's all relative. The, after two weeks of 'was this all too good to be true' moment, I received notice that through all the years I was married my made ZERO contributions made toward our pension. ZERO! My mind took me to places I never imagined. A retirement I couldn't even fathom. Was this how I was going to go out? I took a few days to compose myself, to think this through and ask myself all the 'what if's'. 

Then I called for more information and they told me it was just a matter of time until the all the paperwork is dealt with and funds transferred. Clearly an oversight, so I'm still sighing that relief. Then there was work. I worked the last 6 days straight, one of them 11 hours straight (double-shift, non-stop, by choice). I do get financial assistance and I am grateful for it, but so long as I am able-bodied, the more hours I can get at work (without exception), the less I have to take from the government. Last night I discovered a new meaning to the word exhausted!

This morning I awoke fresh as a daisy.

As they say, all's well that ends well. I should know by now that without exception no matter what happens in my life, all my worries and fears always get 'righted' in their own time but sometimes in an unexpected moment of paralyzing shock or that feeling of 'is this as good as it gets', all rationale and sensibility can fly out the window. I'm still working on that.

Some days I say to myself "I'm already 60 years old." Other days I say, "I'm only 60 years old." I'm emotionally and mentally stronger than I've ever been and I'm realizing that the best way to be the best me that I can is to take life one day at a time, trust in myself, in fate and know that everything does work out in the end.  I know this is true because I live it. I'm also learning that I have to accept (as best I can) the bad days because they will be there, but inevitably they will come to pass.

Conversely, I have to savor the good days because they are precious and they are little gifts along the way that help me through the rougher times. But even more so, because those good days too will pass and I don't want to miss a moment because I'm caught up in something else that I have no control over, that is just passing through anyways. Everything in life is temporary and it would be a shame to invest too much time on the negative and miss out on those magic moments that make us feel good, lift our spirits and give us hope for better tomorrows.

The good, the bad or the ugly, it's all temporary.

Today, I'm only 60 years old. I'm feeling pretty good physically and emotionally and I've got a few more good years in me before I'm ready to retire. I know there will be times when life will put something on my plate that isn't so palatable, but I'm definitely far better equipped than I have ever been in my life to handle whatever comes my way. Heaven knows I've already survived the worst.  

(originally posted by a member of our community)

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  • Comment Link warriorwoman Monday, 19 September 2016 12:47 posted by warriorwoman

    Thank you for sharing your positivity & joy. I can feel it in your writing. I saw my lawyer today to represent me in my divorce from t Narc. As you said, there are good & bad days & indeed all we can do is one at a time. Like you I am also appreciating what I have. Among these is my lovely 3year old twin boy & girl. And today is a sunny day. I have food in my fridge & a car to drive around. I have supportive & understanding friends. Somehow things work out & all for the best I keep reminding myself to truely believe that too. Hope you have a peaceful & happy day.