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A number of years ago my life changed dramatically. I found myself divorcing following thirty-plus years of marriage with the same man. I remember when I first visited First Wives World; I was looking for validation and hope, friendship and camaraderie. I wanted answers and help with the pain I was experiencing.

I found that there were far too many women just like me, going through the devastation of separation and divorce. Heroic women. Beautiful women whose hearts had been broken and their lives shattered just like mine. I wanted to know how long was I going to be in that dark place, devastated, depressed, crying all the time, feeling unwanted, unloved, and without purpose.  

I read stories from you ladies that validated my feelings and my worth. Your stories reflected my personal pain and opened my eyes to the reality of the kind of man I was with and the impact his narcissism had on our family and me. I came here feeling like a complete failure and through you, I came to accept the truth that there was nothing I could have ever done that would have made my marriage to a narc a happy one.

You will laugh again. You will trust again.

By reading your stories, sharing mine, receiving your support and later on reaching out to encourage others, I began to find my sea legs. It's been six years for me and I want you to know that life does go on. You won't always feel bad. The tears will subside. You will be able to accept where you are. As with any traumatic injury, you will walk with a bit of a limp, but that limp will serve to remind you that you deserve better than what you had with him. Look tenderly at your scars, and smile at your strength, courage, and fortitude to overcome a terrible life event. Divorce is not for the faint of heart.  It takes one hell of a woman to overcome such an event and you are that woman!

Our lives have changed in ways we never could have planned for, and although we bear scars from the battle, we are stronger and more amazing as women for having been in that dark place. We are victorious as we support one another and refuse to allow the selfish actions of one man to destroy our light.  We don't need revenge. We don't need to nurture resentment. We don't need to allow mistrust to rule our hearts. That's who he was. We are different.

Rising from the ashes of emotional abuse.

I hope you will be encouraged, whether your journey through separation and divorce is just beginning or you've been on this journey for a while, that today you can rise up and fight the good fight of regaining your sea legs. Grab hold of your inner faith and hope and envision yourself rising like a Phoenix out of the ashes!

We all are cheering you on!!! 

(originally posted by an FWW'er)

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  • Comment Link Sunshine14 Tuesday, 26 July 2016 17:00 posted by Sunshine14

    Awesome! A must read for every woman dealing with this.
    This site has helped me so much through my journey!! It is nice to know that I am not alone.

  • Comment Link thenewlife Thursday, 07 July 2016 20:31 posted by thenewlife


  • Comment Link Freedom2016 Thursday, 07 July 2016 20:21 posted by Freedom2016

    I have found so much support and inspiration from reading about everyone's journey. I find so many things that are familiar and it is nice to know I am not alone. I am just in the early stages of divorce negotiations and can't believe how hurtful he can be. Always twisting the knife. I hope it is over soon.