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For 'time and age immortal' the fickleness of men and women's commitment to love eternal or to vows and promises made 'till death do us part', seem to fritter away when confronted with opportunities and arousals that would never have seemed possible in the person you once knew.

Like the opening of Pandora's box with the impossible closing lid and refitting that which has been unleashed and set loose, unable to gather up now what has escaped.

Like a shattered glass smashed on a tile floor, the pieces never being able to be put back as it were.

Your only reference point you can draw from with the utmost confidence is not where you stand now today, (for that may still be a shifting sands). Neither can you look to the immediate future and hold to anything with confidence, as much as people say it will get better - you'll see.

Sometimes it gets a whole lot worse before hand. With one wave after another slamming into you so you can hardly get your breath back before the next one hits-hard!

Time, it takes time for time to go by, a long time.

No it is as you look back, you begin to draw from your wisdom, and confidence that comes as you find confirmations to the searing words, nagging doubts and unforgivable actions.

Truth always reveals itself in the end. It cannot hide it always eventually shows up.

Confirming our gifted womanly intuition, our knowing even without knowing, our spirit picks up something before we can put our finger to it, or language to the unsettledness stirring within.

Hindsight gives clear clues, like stand out signals now clearly obvious, and pieces of a puzzle that now slowly come together making sense of the mess. Gifts of friends or fellow travellers on this unrequested road help bring comfort with the answers to 'some' of the unanswered questions. As others you may search a lifetime for and not find the unfathomable results that you long to have resolved.

Betrayal, abandonment, deceit, cruelty, hardheartedness, brokenness, ego, pride, silence punishment, calculated, thoughtlessness, unreachable are words that come to mind as I reflect on my recent years walking out of a 35+ relationship. The unceremonious divorce and disemboweling of a life built together.

Dismembering of relationships, family and friendships built over a lifetime, neighbors and community irrevocably displaced in the divide.

(the blog was originally posted by a member of our community)

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2 comments

  • Comment Link Lily louis Sunday, 17 July 2016 18:20 posted by Lily louis

    Exactly it! Just because the paperwork of divorce and the trial for custody is over, does not mean. Oh! Now you can move on with your life. It is not simple or easy to disentangle the feelings of shame, guilt, anger, etc. When that inner voice realizes it can come out, it is shy, nervous, unsure. The quote about time is so fitting. So when others around me don't understand why I'm still in the depths, I know there are others who do understand and I feel safe and encouraged, because of their grace and patience. Thank you.

  • Comment Link Pole Friday, 01 July 2016 05:16 posted by Pole

    I too am in an extremely similar position...reading your words I agreed with it all...Life is certainly different now but also such a relief too ...Thank you