Every day we wake up and think about what we need to do for the day. There are many things we would like to do, but those are typically out weighed by a need. The need is important and it takes priority. There are many things in life we determine as important and those things typical include people, things, places, and goals.
Take a moment to determine who or what is important to you.
Write it down. Who or what is on that list? Are there people in your daily life? Things you’ve earned? Items you’ve bought? Memories captured on your phone? Do you have that list? Did you write it down? It’s probably best to put that list onto paper and see it with your eyes, not just your mind. If need, take another moment and write that list out. Put down anything and everyone that is important to you on that paper. Now that you have that list take a look at it. Is there anything missing? Has everyone and everything been accounted for? Given just a few moments were you able to come up with a pretty good list? Yes? Are you sure? Are you confident you’re not missing anything? Check your list, again. Are YOU on it? I would be willing to bet that you’re not on your list, and why not?
When asked what is important to us we fail to think of ourselves as important, at least we don’t verbalize or express it. Doing so we run the risk of someone thinking we’re arrogant, egotistical or just a horse’s pa-toot. Sometimes, we don’t stop to think about how or why we are important to ourselves. It could be an unspoken truth. Perhaps it’s a thought in the back or our minds. Maybe it’s something we’ve yet to realize altogether. Why don’t we profess our self-importance in a healthy way? Well, likely because we feel guilty for thinking we are. We fear that giving any measure of self-importance takes away from someone else in our lives. Often times we are uncomfortable believing we are important to ourselves and we will wait for someone else to give us that permission.
The most likely of all culprits is we determine our importance based on how important others think we are.
Why do we do that? Why do we allow our self-worth to be determined by others? Why can’t we determine our own importance in our lives? If we have low self-esteem (and/or self-concept, self-worth) we heavily rely on others to “make” us feel better about ourselves. There is something to be said for that feeling when we hear someone else say we are important and that is because we don’t say it to ourselves, let alone believe it.
How can that be though? Why do we place more value on another’s opinion of us? Why do we give that power and control of who we are to someone else? Why are we not embracing ourselves as we are? Why do we rely on others to tell us what we want to hear? Why not give ourselves the permissions to feel good?
It can be difficult to determine the “why” in discounting our self-importance.
What’s more is that question may not be answered right now or even ever, and that’s okay. Sometimes, we don’t need the root of the problem to determine a solution. What is critical is understanding that we are important and should consider ourselves as such. This doesn’t mean that we demand others recognize our self-importance. There’s no need to necessarily proclaim it through an app on your phone, either. That is the very point – self-importance can be seen and it can be admired when exerted in a healthy fashion.
Today, consider how truly important you are.
There is no shame in believing you are important to you. You don’t have to be important to others, though, without a doubt, you are important to someone however you should determine your own value. It’s just like self-respect – the more you show yourself the more others will give you. You teach others how to treat you by how you treat yourself.
As we venture down our individual paths of self-improvement we need to believe in ourselves. We need to know we can do what we put our minds to and our mind needs to know we are important. We are responsible for ourselves. We are to love ourselves. Unless you consider yourself to be important you rob yourself of a pretty important part of your life – YOU. You don't have to tell me or convince me how important you are. You’ve got to convince yourself. You can do it!
(the blog was originally posted by a community member.)