Gandhi said to be the change you want to see in the world. That is not a direct quote, mind you, but you get the drift. Gandhi was a leader and a hungry one, at that. Okay, bad joke but come one, work with me!!!
I have enjoyed this quote as being something valuable until I really thought about it. Who or what was he referring to when he used the term "the world?" Am I supposed to be a change for the billions of people who don't know me nor care about me? Why do anything for those that I can't reach? What good does that do but convince myself how my efforts are wasted?
Welcome to the idea of how that not so nice ex or STBX thinks. He is "the world" you can't reach no matter what you do. No matter how you try; what you say or what you do it will not affect that man who put you in a position to question yourself. You can't reach him and he doesn't want you do.
"The world" that Gandhi might have been referring to is the one within your reach. The world you call yours. It is you. It is the people you surround yourself with. It is your family and friends. These are the people that want to be reached by you. These are the people that will encourage you think your efforts are valuable and producing. When you put your efforts into something you can't reach you will trick yourself into thinking you’re not trying hard enough (or that you are not enough) or that your efforts are wasteful (or that you are a waste). You get down on yourself because he won't respond. You turn everything back on to you and you wonder what you are doing wrong when in reality you are likely doing everything right just for the wrong person.
As you become the change you want to see in the world, if that is what you are doing and I am not saying you should, be sure you know what that "world" is in your life and if it is within your reach. Stretching to reach is okay, just as long as you are careful to not over reach. You can do it!
(the blog was originally posted by a community member.)