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Shortly after my divorce I had to take care of something around the house that I had never done before. A wise friend suggested I recognize all of these new "firsts" in my life. I thought it a good way to look at all I now had to do alone/on my own as a positive; a what-I-can-now-do or what-I-have-learned-to-do list.

As I come up on the two-year anniversary of my freedom, here is a look at some more of the things I have accomplished on my own or had the opportunity to do for the first time. 

  1. Changed the light board in my refrigerator light fixture - it take a couple "how to" you tube videos, but I got it done. 
  2. Saw to the hiring and execution of new landscaping.
  3. Saw to the hiring and execution of a remodeled kitchen.
  4. Visited my sister and her family over Holiday break.
  5. Planted a vegetable and herb garden - a little concerned about this one; did it recently and I'm hoping something survives.
  6. Bought a steam cleaner and cleaned my carpets.
  7. Went on a road trip with my BFF, which I made the arrangements for.
  8. Did my own taxes.
  9. Purchased my own home.
  10. Registered a car in my name.
  11. Joined a meetup group (or two).
  12. Planted geraniums.
  13. Weeded my gardens by pulling out the weeds.
  14. Replaced the old molded caulk around my bathtub with new shiny white.
  15. Increased my retirement savings without approval from anyone else first.
  16. Started an annual tradition of a wine, cheese and chocolate party for my fellow colleagues/teachers before we begin giving and grading final exams - it has been a year and several had asked if I'm doing it again - huh, in spite of what he told me I do have social skills, people do like me & they do like being around me and talking to me.
  17. Did some volunteer work with my children - picked citrus for local food banks and packaged meals to feed the hungry (I was told if I was going to work, it should be to earn an income).
  18. Planned and enjoyed a summer vacation with my children.
  19. Watched my parents' dog at my house OVERNIGHT!
  20. I went zip lining with my children - broke my leg, but it healed!

So twenty is a good round number. I'll stop here. It feels good, even empowering at times to be able to do the little things I wasn't permitted to do before and to do the brand new things I've never done. Some may seem minor and small to others, but it's the freedom to do as I choose that makes it so great! So I leave you with one question; what have you done for the first time that makes you feel good about yourself?

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3 comments

  • Comment Link Healing magic Tuesday, 12 April 2016 10:22 posted by Healing magic

    Absolutely fantastic - I have been doing some of these already and my divorce will be Finalised soon! I am most nervous about number 14 - mould Around shower tray! What u tube video?
    Considering I am still fighting legal, the forthcoming 1st sure don't seem that hard.
    Thanks for the inspiring post!

  • Comment Link basil0707 Tuesday, 05 April 2016 06:45 posted by basil0707

    Rented and drove a 42' UHaul truck and moved all my stuff into my rental house.
    -Started my candle collection, and started making my own candles from a kit with my son.
    -Said farewell to my beloved bichon frise of 17 years knowing I gave him a wonderful happy puppy life.
    -Went on dates with nice professional men who told me I was pretty and sexy and smart. They actually listened to what I had to say and we had genuine conversation.
    -Went to church at the Episcopal cathedral for Palm Sunday and Easter service.
    -Shoveled my entire driveway after 16" of snow.
    -Replaced the timing belt on my truck at a great auto repair shop and started a proper maintenance log.
    -Did some classes at Title One Boxing but broke two fingernails (that's what happens when you have big plastic acrylic fingernails)
    -Signed a two year lease for my house rental and have actually kept a job to pay for it since weak pansy ex narc is trying to get me to pay him child support.
    -Took initial steps to begin name change back to maiden name
    -Started group therapy through divorce care workshop
    -Got a navel pierce on my belly button as a reward for losing weight.

  • Comment Link AllMe1959 Monday, 04 April 2016 18:09 posted by AllMe1959

    Love your list.
    I am active again!!!
    Kayaking
    SUP Boarding
    Target Shooting
    Biking
    Hiking
    Camping
    I zip lined for the first time and loved it so much I went again that afternoon.
    Financially stable again
    Joined meet up groups
    Dating again for the first time in 30 years!!
    Found my new man through this dating!!
    Go where I want, when I want
    The list goes on and on..........