Today I was thinking about my older Aunt who recently lost her husband. I have been very close to both my Aunt and Uncle and they've looked upon me as just another one of their own children. I thought, "What can I say today to make her feel better?" She lost her husband, and so did I, but the circumstances were very different. A few years ago, my uncle had been medically diagnosed with no expectation to live longer than a year. He lived a little longer and probably only because he was able to stay at home right up to the day he died. Throughout which my Aunt took care of him.
So today I thought that she might be feeling a bit guilty, as she had been very burdened his last few months of his life. She's not in the best of health herself, but she put on a front for my Uncle so he wouldn't worry about her. She is in constant pain but she never let him see it. Now she can't help but feel a little guilty with relief that she is no longer taking care of him. It was exhausting for her. I thought to say, to her, “You were a good loyal wife. You took care of this man for so long. You took care of him all the way until he died in his own home. You did what a good wife does all the way to the end. There is nothing for which you need to feel guilty." And you know? I can say the same thing about me!
I am not perfect, by no means, but I was a good loyal wife. I cooked for my husband (and well), I washed his clothes, I supported him, and I followed him around the world not once saying, "No, you go yourself and when you come back I'll move to your next location." I was there to take care of the house, the bills, the cars, the children, taking them to and from doctors and schools and PTA meetings and Boy Scouts and T-Ball, Baseball, Basketball, field trips — you name it. I took over while my husband was wonderful for everyone else. I learned several languages in our travels. I managed house repairs, speaking in a foreign languages, I drove on the left side of the road, I went grocery shopping learning how to say "carrots", "zucchini", "milk", whatever all in a different language other than English. And not once did I screw around on my husband.
In other words, I was a good loyal wife. I took care of that man until he decided to leave our home. And I have nothing for which to feel guilty. Someday some man is going to appreciate me for the wonderful woman that I am!
(originally posted by a member of our community)