Inspiration, Encouragement & Strength
join a community of support ›

Community Talk

Community Talk makes it easy for you to find relevant, informative articles from First Wives World's leading contributors, all in one place. All content is hand picked by First Wives World and covers a wide range of topics important to you.

Back to Article List

Filter Articles By:  

So, I am not the biggest Beyonce fan.  Don't know why.  I like a few of her songs but others I just tune out and ignore but this song was one I do like because the message is super! We all get into a relationship wanting to be "irreplaceable" to that man.  I have been guilty of the same thing!!!  Why do we do this to ourselves???  No matter the wonderful and healthy relationships or toxic and unhealthy relationships we get into there will likely not be an opportunity where we are not irreplaceable.  

Why?  Let me remind you of how you felt when you first got involved with that ex of yours.  Remember that Cloud Nine feeling? Remember thinking how there was no life without him?  Remember how forever had his name right in the middle of it?  Remember how he told you all the same things?  

You Can Not Get Into A Relationship Thinking You're Not Replaceable

And now look - there is someone else that hears all the same mumbo jumbo. This is where the pain comes from - those were all YOUR feelings from him and between the two of you and YOU firmly believed they were only for you and now that they are directed at someone else manifesting that feeling of hatred and betrayal and feeling. Replaced. Guess what?  We are ALL replaceable!

Sucks to read that, I know but it is true. I have learned it and my ex-husbands have learned it.  You cannot get into a relationship thinking you are not irreplaceable, no matter what is said because it is not realistic.  It is a fantasy; it is the honeymoon phase of a relationship.  It is a great feeling because we feel special and "the one" but it doesn't always last. Dammit. Grrrr. So, we now know we are replaceable but guess what?  SO.IS.HE!

That's right!  IF you are replaceable in his life then he is just as replaceable in yours. This is not meant to be a negative or encourage you to hate.  So he is swooning over another woman like he once did over you. So, he strayed and for his own selfish needs. Maybe he had a reason, maybe he didn't. Doesn't matter. He has moved on and now you get to as well.

And I will tell you, those kind of men, not men in general necessarily, but THOSE kind of men love to feel they have moved on when you haven't seemed to because it feeds that narcissistic ego they have and they feel superior.  This has nothing to do with you as a person but it does reveal his level of self-worth and self-esteem.  He is better than you because he has another woman?

Bull-honkey! He isn't better than you! I will tell you what he is: Alone.  I don't care if he has that other woman. I don't care if he has everything he wants and he never misses an opportunity to tell you.  When he has to overcompensate by showing off he feels inferior and wants someone beneath him and that target is you because you make it easy with the negative feelings.

Taking Care Of You!

So, again, like the broken record I am, do something for you!  Take care of you! You let yourself go to make him a priority in your life and you turned out to be an option, take the option away.  If he feels he needs to show off - let him.  Laugh it off to yourself because as he continues to hate himself and not take care of him only to rely on others who will NEVER do the job the "right way" you get to improve you, make you happy and make you feel special!   

The men that we complain about are the ones that have problems with who they are. They will never be happy being themselves and if you are truly trying to seek revenge and help him feel the way you have felt then you take care of you! You make you happy! You show your happiness!  Replace him with YOU!  You don't need another man to replace him; you are only playing his game. Show him who is boss in your life and that you don't need him. Irreplaceable?  Bull! We could all have "another him in a minute", but why would we want that?  

(originally posted by a member of our community)

Back to Article List

Leave a comment