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A bad marriage can become a battleground.  Small little arguments that at one time you would have brushed aside or quickly gotten over escalate, become blown up to absurd-proportions, and both draw in previous grievances while laying the ground for future fights.  A question of whose turn it was to clean the cat box can become about the time he thought you were flirting with your co-worker, and it leaves you both breathing in poisonous air.  In short, you've become bitter enemies.  You thought you were Jim and Pam, but you're actually France and Germany.  

A divorce doesn't fix the enmity- if it did, every divorce would end in remarriage.  But it lets you step away, and can let old issues get buried.  There may always be resentment, but because you no longer are directly affecting each other every day, you aren't dealing high stakes.  The little things don't matter as much anymore, and a flaw can be seen as just that: something wrong with an imperfect person, just like yourself.  The feelings you had for each other at the beginning will never come back, and that is a good thing.  But thankfully, there is also the chance that the hate will go away, leaving you in a contented middle. 

So don't question yourself if you are sometimes nostalgic about the old times.  That's human.  A bad ending doesn't wipe everything good that went before.  You don't have to hold on to your anger.  It doesn't define you.  Laugh at the awkward first date memory and cry thinking about how beautiful the wedding was.  It will never be sweet again, but it doesn't have to be only sour, either.  



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