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There are approximately 610,000,000 results for a Google search on “How to make a man fall in love with you”. The covers of some women’s magazines are peppered with catchy titles for articles that give you step-by-step instructions on how to lure a man into your trap.

Cosmopolitan is notorious for this. The magazine for young, single women founded by Helen Gurley Brown has built its success by helping women attract men using feminine wiles. Helen wrote Sex and the Single Girl in 1962 and it was the inspiration for Sex and the City. The TV show was about female friendship, but it was also about attracting a man and keeping him. 

Last week, I read a number of news articles about women who were selling their positive pregnancy tests on Craigslist. There must be a demand because dozens of women are now making a little business out of producing pregnancy tests. They have nine months to get those tests out to their customers. Who are the women who are buying this deceptive tool? Some women may be using a positive test to play a joke, but it’s not funny when a woman uses a fake pregnancy to trap a man into marriage. 

It’s deplorable and depressing to think a woman would go to such lengths. After she gets her man to the altar, I suppose she will have to confess, or have a fake miscarriage. That’s the ultimate cruelty.

Some years ago, I was going through treatment for breast cancer. An acquaintance of mine was very sympathetic. She was going through her own troubles, since the man she loved wanted to break up with her. She was a successful, beautiful and intelligent woman, but she used a horrific ploy to keep him. She told him she had breast cancer, so he would stick around. Of course, she had to admit the truth fairly quickly, but she told him that she loved him so much she would do anything to keep him. He stayed a while longer, but they eventually broke up.  

Deception never works because the truth is going to come out.

The sad face of deception

We’ve all done little things to get a man’s attention and many of them are harmless or even cute. I’ve done it, we all have. Maybe he tells you he likes hockey, so you pretend to like it too. It becomes your trap because now you have to sit and watch some other men pushing around a puck when all you really want to do is the thing that rhythms with that word.

He wants to do that too, of course, but he’s willing to wait until after the game. We could make life so much easier if we were just honest. I can’t stand sports and no man can make me watch it. OK, that’s a lie, I can think of a man right now that could convince me to sit through a sporting event if I thought it would win me points. The thing is he knows I don’t like sports, so he would know that I was doing it as a favor, and that’s so much more appealing than having someone lie.

If your marriage has ended and there were no real issues such as abuse or cheating, maybe it was based on a lie from the beginning. Men can pull one over on us too, they just have a different way of doing it. Very few men will lie and say that they love shopping. They’ll offer to go to the mall with you, but they aren’t afraid to say why they are doing it. It’s usually tit for tat. Sorry, that should be the other way around.

If you are divorced and looking for another romantic partner, think about how you are going to entice that man to be a part of your life. It’s crazy making when someone turns out to be completely different than the person they pretended to be. Are you going to play games or just be yourself?

I hate to admit it, but I’ll probably do a bit of both. Flirting is a kind of manipulation, but it’s a part of the process. You’re on your best behavior when you meet someone new, but let’s face it, if we exposed all of our human weaknesses to a potential partner, none of us would ever get married. We get dressed up, we tamp down our temper or hide our moodiness under a veil of enthusiasm. We’re setting a kind of trap, but that’s part of the fun. 

Building a real trap for a man is where the trouble begins. Compare it to those cruel steel-jaw leghold traps used to capture animals. An animal will chew its own leg off to get away. In the end, you’re left with a bloody mess and nothing to show for it. Is that really what you want out of life? 

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