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There is a fine line between what we consider a marriage, and how the law defines a marriage. For some, there is also the way the Church defines it, and all of these definitions become blurred when circumstances that once indicated you had a marriage have changed. Are you really a couple because it says you are on paper? Maybe for financial reasons, you are. But, in your hearts, you’re a married (or not) couple because of the commitment you both made to each other. If you have both agreed to break that commitment, then the heart of the marriage is over. Nothing ties you together as a romantic couple anymore. You may still share children, a house, a car...but without the mutual connection of being husband and wife, your marriage is over whether or not papers have been signed. And sometimes, those papers can take a long time. Meanwhile, what happens if you meet someone else? Are you breaking the rules? Should you feel guilty? Should you tell them to wait for you until after the divorce is final? These are all difficult and tricky questions to answer. I’m not saying I know the answers, but I can share my experience.

By the time my ex moved out, we had not felt like a married couple, or had a real marriage in a long time. We had grown apart, and drifted, as people sometimes do.  Eventually, he moved out, but neither of us wanted to deal with the ordeal of finding an attorney, or a mediator, or all of the money and paperwork a divorce would entail. So we did nothing, but we no longer shared a home or a relationship.  Technically, we were still married. We were married on paper, and the State said it was so. But we weren’t a couple. So, what if we wanted to explore other options in the meantime? 

Dating Before the Divorce, and Being Open About Your Marital Status

Dating post-divorce is hard enough, but while legally married, the perusal of romance is intricate territory. Firstly, there is the very real potential that no one is going to want to date a married woman. Even if you explain that the ties have been cut, even if it’s only a matter of papers, and they say they get it - unless they’re in your situation too, they don’t. 

And who can blame them? There are countless stories of women going back to their ex-husbands after a year or two of separation, and vice-versa. So, if you decide to check out the dating pool pre-divorce, plan on  explaining  yourself- a lot. You may have decided you’re ready to date again, but don’t expect your new love interest to be so open to your legal ties. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad idea to go ahead and move on with your love life if you really feel you’re ready, it just means it won’t be easy. We do live in a society of papers, after all, both for better and for worse.


 Image Courtesy of Telegraph.Co.Uk

Knowing When You’re Ready to Move On, Regardless of Divorce Papers

But what if you meet someone else? When you’re alone, it is normal to want someone’s company, and the excitement of romance takes our human minds off of everyday details and worries. When I was first separated, I told myself I had to put off dating until my divorce was finalized. Once I had it all there in black and white, and knew that my marriage was really over and signed away, I would be ready. But, the days and evenings stretched out before me and neither myself nor my ex made a move toward legal action. I remember talking to a friend of mine who told me that he had only been with his wife for five years, but had married to her for fifteen. He had a new girlfriend, who apparently didn’t mind his marital status at first, but when pressed at last, he filed the papers. It’s funny how much we rely on formal validation. 

5 Signs You're Ready To Date Again

5 Signs You're Ready to Date Again

Taking Risks and Saying Yes to That Date, or Not?

A few months into my own separation, I was asked out on a date by a girl who I really liked, but I was worried that by saying yes to her, I was sealing the invisible contract that stated my marriage was over forever. I was scared that I would hurt my ex’s feelings. what if we still had a chance? On the other hand, it was probably over anyway, and what if this new person was the true love of my life? In the end, I didn’t go out with her because I didn’t feel that the timing was right. But if I had to do it over, I would have said yes. I would have taken that step forward, and taken the chance that maybe it would end in disaster just like my failed marriage. But, that’s what life and relationships are all about. They’re risks worth taking. When you take your wedding vows and sign on the dotted line, the license only tells you that by law, you are married. It never says it will last forever.

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  • Comment Link Kizzy Robinson Sunday, 15 April 2018 15:20 posted by Kizzy Robinson

    I husband move out our home one yr ago. He has been dating since the thrid week of leaving me. I would convince him to come back home. He has say no alot of time. Just last month i meet someone. I feel it time because on my husband side it over. My side I know I have move to find the right person for me. I aslo invested in my personal growth and taking a few class to better myself in all area of life. I know now marriage take two.You should explorer a new romance only when you are fully ready to do so.

  • Comment Link Tracey Hosge Sunday, 18 March 2018 10:24 posted by Tracey Hosge

    Many legal pages say as long as your married separated or not you are still MARRIED and you are and if you date before divorced you run a high risk of being sued for adultry, me and my husband live apart. It have made love 3 times since with each other. There are days he yells divorce that he can’t “ do this anymore “ then days later he wants me again, he’s hurt but didn’t want to be totally rid of me

  • Comment Link Sarina bin Monday, 04 December 2017 01:30 posted by Sarina bin

    What happen if you were married but went a different path both side parties started a new chapter then years has past us by and he had a child with other. She didn't have a child with anyone but they both decided they wanna come back together. Could it happen? But on her side the relationship won't accept of letting her go. What would you do?

  • Comment Link Kim Tuesday, 31 October 2017 13:51 posted by Kim

    I'm 39 I've been married for 10 years and the thrill is gone , we don't have sex , we don't sleep bye each other , we don't kiss or hi g often . We just have 2 small babies and he wants to be around them , he's on dating sites , but he says it's nothing but deep down I know the relationship is over

  • Comment Link judith Tuesday, 17 October 2017 13:17 posted by judith

    My passion for love and life has made me take on here to tell everyone how priest manuka brought back my husband who has been gone for 9 months.It was all confusion and distress to me when my husband whom i love and cherish wouldn’t love me anymore but rather chose to stick to another lady at the expense of my feelings for no convincing reason making me crazy.But that’s all history now, priest manuka has proven himself worthy to be called a true and chosen one, as he has wiped out my tears by bringing my husband back to me.Here is his contact to reach him and he is also on hangout for face chart..thanks and God bless for your help.

  • Comment Link Yup Monday, 31 July 2017 20:37 posted by Yup

    there's a fine line here. WATCH OUT to the ladies that date a divorced man. There is a site called she's a homewrecker and the ex wife decided after he started dating me, that she was going to post my photo on there and label me as a mistress and humiliate me. Because she wanted him back and he wouldn't go back to her but hadn't filed paperwork yet; therefore, she decided that I was breaking up the family. Needless to say...your reputation could be ruined and for some reason people seem to think you're a horrible person for trying to date while not legally divorced. Should you give a sh** what other people think? Probably not. But if you don't want your photo posted online...just watch out. Or establish that they've cut some kind of ties and laid down boundaries.

  • Comment Link Swanquentin Thursday, 08 June 2017 00:44 posted by Swanquentin

    If your wife has moved out and she still calls you at night and you talk everyday do you think you can reconcile if I get my self together ?

  • Comment Link katie Wednesday, 26 April 2017 21:22 posted by katie

    if you start seeing someone new before you are legally separated and still technically married, can your ex use it against you in court??

  • Comment Link naneh cele Friday, 07 April 2017 22:58 posted by naneh cele

    Well muself have been misled by this one guy who asked me out knowing he is married i fell for him he was so irresistible, for me the beauty of his heart drew me even closer to him little did i know he dated me cause of problems in his marriege found out from him in the middle of a relationship when my love for him was so intense one of his problems being his wife filing for a seperation and taking kids with her he tells me only when i started noticing him being emotionally unavaible to me and our new relationship ..... I can not even begin to describe how he broke my heart worse failing to unlove him i live everyday loving him but he is rejecting me coz he is trying to fix his marriege to me it now feels like i fancied him where else he is the one who asked me out and made me to have all these intense feelings for him, ive tried so many times for usbto work but he is on and off like a christmas tree... This week he wants to be with me following week he tells me he wants to fix his marriege , i tell him about how i feel he gives me bible verses it hurts i wont lie

  • Comment Link Mark Friday, 17 March 2017 02:31 posted by Mark

    Many people who post judgements about separated people dating on these blogs do not realize that some states control when a couple can divorce. I happen to live in a state that requires a couple to live apart and abstain from sex for a year in order to qualify to file for uncontested divorce. If a separated couple spends one night together during that period, the clock resets to zero, even if the couple sleeps in separate bedrooms and abstains for sex. The couple must then file for uncontested divorce and wait for a date to stand before a magistrate who hears the case and writes a report. A judge then reviews the case and issues a divorce decree. That hearing and judicial review process can tack another six months onto the year that a couple had to wait to file for divorce. Eighteen months is a long time to ask someone to wait to date, especially someone who was in a marriage where he/she did not live as husband and wife for a over a decade.

  • Comment Link Sylvia goodsell Saturday, 04 February 2017 15:08 posted by Sylvia goodsell

    Nine years passed no change,not married,in the 8 th year no relationship,doing our own thing,and be left to go abroad,have a good time no problem he is not interested at all

  • Comment Link jody holsomback Monday, 02 January 2017 17:24 posted by jody holsomback

    me an my wife have been separated for 6 mths! I have filed uncontested papers with a lawyer but she want sign. I had dinner with a lady friend the other night my x followed me an took pictures! she has not been to my house or around my daughters! can she use that against me if we go to court!

  • Comment Link craig Tuesday, 27 December 2016 10:55 posted by craig

    I Live in the UK so laws may be different,
    I recently seperated from my wife of 3 years about a month ago, we have a 3yr old son together. i found out on christmas day that 2 weeks after we split she went on a dating site and brought someone back to our once shared/rented house and slept with him. she thinks this was okay i think it was un loyal to be so quick after we seperated can anyone give advice on how i can overcome this thought and move on myself with out getting angry every time i think of what she has done.

  • Comment Link Regina McClellan Tuesday, 20 December 2016 01:46 posted by Regina McClellan

    You are correct in some aspects of this article. But not honoring the act of marriage, should be an issue for those who are moving on before divorce. The very fact you told this person you once loved that you wanted to be married you probably did with respect and honor of the whole act. So why loose that respect and honor if you have just minimized the act to an agreement on paper by name only. If this is the case, then exiting with respect and honor should be the same as you entered. Meaning, you should divorce the one that you NO LONGER want to be with with respect. A title in this case means everything. Thats why your new love wants it. He or she want's to be titled as the wife, say they are married. I hope one day some will get this. You can exit with respect for the other person.

  • Comment Link UnsureofWhattoDo Monday, 28 November 2016 23:23 posted by UnsureofWhattoDo

    I am 32... my now ex husband just left over a week ago, after I had to get a court order to force him out, due to his emotional abuse and sometimes physical abuse. I've been asked out on a date. It seems like it's too soon, but emotionally and physically I haven't been with my ex husband for almost a year. Is it too soon?

  • Comment Link Shu Wednesday, 27 July 2016 14:17 posted by Shu

    I am 39 years old and my hubby is 47.
    We met at my 35 after 2 years dating/he moved in after 3 weeks and we got married in Las Vegas.
    I wanted start a family(child) and he wanted a house which he lost in the previous relationship. He keeps saying that I am not good enough for a mum after 3 years relationship. He has no excuse but I lost my time so we agree with IVF he pulled off(asked for a divoice) just before the treatment and leave me in dilemma couldn't use donors and have to waiting another 1 one year after the divorce and he wants my house.

  • Comment Link MicG Saturday, 23 July 2016 06:29 posted by MicG

    I was married for less than a year. She was typical - needy, educated (bachelors), striving for attention and validation at every turn - no matter how well she was treated, shown and told she was loved... She was abusive both physically and mentally - thing was, I was military, had a great career, made a lot of money but just wasn't down with her depressive states and low confidence.

    Both before and after I had MUCH more meaningful relationships with a lot of other women. Following her breakdown after I just walked out, she tried to contact me several times to tell me she wanted me back - twice from a BLOCKED # while I was having sex with some young thang

  • Comment Link Aneeqa Wednesday, 20 July 2016 14:55 posted by Aneeqa

    I was married for 2 years but been with my husband for 7 years. He treated me terrible most of the time calling me names and was emotionally and physically abusive. After I took him back for the last time things were different, I didn't have any emotional connection towards him and was just trying to make it work for the sake of our 2 sons. I became close with a male colleague 2 months before we separated but while our issues were building up. After 2 weeks of my separation, I started spending more time with my colleague and found that we really click and developed attraction. I have been seeing him on and off for nearly 2 months now and really feel like this could be the start of something serious. He knows about my marriage as well as my kids and says he will so through whatever he needs to in order to make me happy and be the reason for my happiness. Am I a bad and cheap person for jumping into a relationship so soon?

  • Comment Link Pam Wednesday, 06 July 2016 02:22 posted by Pam

    I am in love with a separated man. We have been together for two years. He lives in his own home. His wife lives in the house that they built with the teenage girls. E love each other very much and the divorce will be final soon

  • Comment Link jr Tuesday, 05 July 2016 20:53 posted by jr

    hi i am been married 11 yr with 2 kids but my wife move out house when move her mom can she stiil dates other people will we still maried buy court

  • Comment Link Really whether Monday, 27 June 2016 14:38 posted by Really whether

    Hi my husband didn't want the marriage at all. So I met someone else 12 months later . And then my husband wanted me back again and my ex boyfriend wants me to . My ex husband treated me bad so u had every reason to meet someone nice and now I'm not sure what to do

  • Comment Link cherylgreen123 Monday, 13 June 2016 02:40 posted by cherylgreen123

    Married 20 yrs Marriage has been over couple
    for about 5 yrs. I have a 16yr old son who of
    course still lives with us. My husband wants to
    take job in another state. I worked for 3yrs I just
    loss my job 2wks ago. I'm trying to keep my used
    car I'm behind on payments. I wanted to move
    on now I'm not sure what to do. I'm confused. My
    husband never talks to me. We do have my son to consider.

  • Comment Link Carla Friday, 20 May 2016 13:37 posted by Carla

    Do not get pinned down to one person, date, have sex but do not remarry.

  • Comment Link nd Monday, 18 April 2016 07:35 posted by nd

    hellothis is hard for me to say when I'm going to do it anyway. I am 32 year old male. From kansas city. a few months ago I cheated on my wife a handful of times with the same woman from my work. We were only married 7 months before i cheated. before we were married until I cheated I was very much in love with my wife call First 2 apartment I wanted nothing but to come home to my wife I put off my friendsto rush home to see her. she was all I ever talked about the only thing that made my heart beat I don't know where it started maybe it was the death of her grandmother and the death of my grandmother within a week of each other combined with moving in with her mother to save money so we could buy a house. my wife didn't want to leave because she loved the house so much but we weren't able to save any money so I thought it would be a good idea since her mother was only charging us $300 a month for rent to help us out. within months of moving into the house we were pretty much confined to two spare bedrooms. I started to become increasingly depressed anxious and feelings of Despair that I wasn't a good enough husband to support my wife and Future FamilyI started to become introverted and staying to myself and pushing my wife away without even realizing it. I said I didn't get any me time her mother worked just like the both of us but both my wife and her mother had their me time at home to not be around anybody have the house to themselves. I work too long grueling hours and had some times two days off one was a Sunday with my wife which I loved and the other was a day that I would have liked every once in awhile to wake up and have the house to myself. everyone says that if you truly love someone you don't want to be apart from them but I know in my heart that everyone on this Earth needs a little time to themselves and I know I'll probably get criticized for saying that but it's true.I thought that's what I wanted but I've never been so wrong about anything in my life.a couple months after we moved in and all these feelings were holding me down at rock bottom I cheated on my wife with a woman from work we never went anywhere we never hung out it was just sex after work in a car. I worked with a girl for a total of 4 months. and we had sex about 5 times. around the beginning of February I realized how much of a mistake I was making but I couldn't bring myself to break my wife's heart intentionally by telling her what I did. that heartache and regret and remorse and all of the above-mentioned things brought me to the point of realization that I was having a mental breakdown because of all of this I literally couldn't do anything I wasn't happy I wasn't sad I was emotionless. one night I couldn't take it anymore and I said the first thing that came to my mind and I told my wife I wanted a divorce and told her that I wasn't happy I thought we rushed into the marriage. I didn't know what else to say none of it was true I just did not know what to do I know that's not an excuse but my mental state at the time wasn't letting me be a rational person I was before full of remorse and compassion but as my wife begged me to stay I was emotionless and couldn't say anything so I got a few things and packed a bag and walked out I told her that I was going crazy and I didn't know it was wrong with me I don't know why I said divorce it just popped into my head but I never wanted a divorce how was just scared and I never been in that situation before . look on my wife's face. that heartbreaking look in her eyes as she pleaded me not to go. she saidthat we could go to a counselor or therapist to figure out what's wrong I told her I just had to figure this out on my own she asked me if there was someone else. I cowardly said no. it was just me.I couldn't bring myself to tell her I was gone for about 10 days and on the last day I called and said I wanted us I wanted to be us again. she came back to me let me come home and start the family again but I was still holding on to this terrible Secret I hadn't spoke to the girl inabout a month and was glad she was gone. but she then texted me and told me how much she missed me through a friend. I told her that I missed her and it hadn't been the same without her. when she texted me back I use this as the one thing that can free me from this terrible Secret. the girl and I were friends somewhat at work and work together well. she did like me and was trying to get back I never really treated this girl well in the first place I used her for sex. I only had sex with her in her car and that was it no beds no nothing like that just in a car trashy. since I was two cowardly to tell my wife I left the message of me telling this girl that I missed her and it wasn't the same for her to see. I told the girl anything she wanted to hear for her to text back and she did and that was the message my wife while I was in the shower she confronted me with it and again I was speechlessFrozen with fear that my life was over. now mind you my wife and I we're best friends and lovers the quintessential soulmate and life partner makes that no one ever gets in a lifetime the rarest of love the best friends before lovers. then she asked me if it was my wife or the girl followed by 30 more questions and only thing that come out of my mouth was I don't know not now no she took that as me saying that I wanted this girl and then I was leaving her for this girl she told me to leave I wanted to stay but I'm still worried about my financial woes I couldn't see straight I thought I had to go to work I didn't want things to get ugly at home because I knew they would so I went to work. the second worst thing I could have ever done I didn't leave because I wanted to I left because I was scared and I didn't want anything to happen not domestic abuse or anything like that just I knew that we would be lying and I'm sure somebody would have tried to call the cops so I didn't want to do any of that at her mother's house so I went to work. the day after I left my wife met up with an old friend and slept with him out of spite she told me she went to the bathroom and cried her eyes out and that's how bad she felt but I was able to do it a handful of times with no remorse. the second day I was gone I came back to get my things that she demanded me to get and when I grabbed my things I was looking through my boxes and she put all of our wedding things in one box and every single feeling of hopelessness and losing my family and losing my best friend made me realize what the hell I had in my life and what was staring me right in my face was the one that was needed the one that I needed the one that was always there unconditionally no questions asked. the decision for me to cheat was my own yes but I can honestly say they were not minded or level-headed decisions I had let money death my own selfishness and this midlife crisis consume me never been this low in my life before I cheated on my wife never wanted to cheat on my wife before. never even thought about it we had a deal that I was to look at every woman as if they had a penis that was my wife and I choke and it's stuck I never looked at women I didn't glance I didn't Rubberneck I didn't peek I just paid attention to my wife whenever we were together it was like time flew by but we were standing still is everything flew by I loved every day with my wife I have been out of the house now for about a month-and-a-half I was sleeping on couches and in my car and I had to get my own place. she recently told me that she herself cheated on all of her prior boyfriends before me. she told me I was the reason that she would never want to cheat on anyone . but in the beginning of the relationship she said they only thing I can never forgive is cheating. I tried to grasp the reality of that comment and wonder how she says her love is gone before me and she said it will never come back I don't understand how someone who cheated and has done it to someone but have never gotten cheated on before until now can't see some what not a comparison but I'm not understanding she told me that I will always be a liar and a cheater and that's what she always see me as but I have never done that to anybody before yes you could say I technically cheated on a girlfriend for years ago with my wife now. I was with an ex but was completely finished mentally she scorned me years earlier and I couldn't do it anymore I met my wife through a friend and our relationship started as a technical cheating she was engaged but only said yes to Band-Aid the relationship so in short we are both unhappy in our relationships and we started talking to each othershe said she wants a divorce and says she wants nothing to do with me and that she hates me have been including with her since the day the second day after I left came and got my face and realize what I lost basically you've been begging my wife to take me back and give me another chance so I could show her that I'm never never going to do this again because the pain I saw her and hurt that I caused her I put myself through hell I didn't drink do any drugs I didn't want to be numb I wanted every painful memory in consequence of what I did to hit him as hard as possible so I can feel someone of her pain when she told me she slept with someone that second night it killed me inside but not as much as I know I killed her I did the worst thing you could do to someone besides kill them I broke her Trust and betrayed her everything I took her foundation of us and shattered it to the floor she still thinks I want to be with the girl I slept with but I told her no I don't want anything with a girl and if I did I really truly want that woman I would still be out pursuing her not begging for my wife forgiveness knowing that it won't happen anytime soon but willing to spend the rest of my life showing her proving to her that I could never do this again I send flowers and write letters every other week she tells me she throws the flowers away but I know she keeps them and she reads the letters if she hates me so much why is she reading letters does she have some hope that this could happen yes it is still too early to say but she says she's trying to get divorce papers and I feel like she's trying to do this too fast she has since been talking with someone and says that she's happy but it is only been a month I know she is seeking attention because when I was in my depressed state I didn't show her attention or affection well I did but not like I should have I wasn't the husband I was supposed to be I was lost broken and mentally at rock bottom still not an excuse but the truth everyday there's constant memories of my wife are to cats and the family that we could have had the child that we were expecting and lost when's my mind just as heavily as losing her I never dealt with the loss of our child that well yes it was a miscarriage but it was still a loss of a child we both went through this together and I was there for her everyday I treated her like a queen and sacrifice things myself my bills were too high so I could not spend the money on things that I wanted to rather I had to pay all my bills she said that this marriage was two people together as one not two people I didn't want my financial burdens and burdening her I wanted to get out of my debt by myself I didn't want her to spend the money that she was saving on my debts I didn't think it was right I got myself into the dead I wanted to get myself out but I knew she would have done anything she could with no questions askedI'm afraid I will never get my wife back and I am so scared my reflections remorse and everyday reminders of what I lost haunt me and I don't want to live the rest of my life without my wife I don't know what to do to get her back I felt like the first month that I was away I just wanted to prove to her that I was staying here and I didn't want to go anywhere and I did not want to be with that other girl I just wanted to be with my wife. but by doing so I pushed her away and now I have to wait and that is the hardest thing because she said she's getting divorce papers ready and says she hates me for everything I did but I feel now that there's some part that's inside of her that still loves me what is buried underneath all this hate and betrayal and hurt and pain I miss my wife so much and I cry mmyselfsleep. every night she said she's always going to see me as a cheater and I know everyone always says once a cheater always a cheater but I don't believe that is true I believe the pain that I saw that I caused and all the consequences and repercussions of my actions tell me that I could never do this again 2NE1 I can never hurt anyone like that again I just wish my wife could see it we don't have kids and we were only married for less than a year. I just don't know what to do I need help I miss her I am currently talking to therapist figuring out why I turn to sex running and talking to my wife someone please give me some insightI'm so lost without her

  • Comment Link Jennifer M Genesi Tuesday, 29 March 2016 23:13 posted by Jennifer M Genesi





  • Comment Link Johanne Friday, 25 March 2016 19:25 posted by Johanne

    Hi I have been divorced for over 16 years but I met a man that has been legal separated from his wife for three years And we have dated for three months and I feel I am still going out with a married man what do I do .

  • Comment Link Angie Lawrence Sunday, 28 February 2016 05:22 posted by Angie Lawrence

    Meet and my husband been together since 2006. But we only been married for four years. He has been talking to some other woman on Facebook behind my back. I kinda figured out he was seeing someone else by the way he has been treating me. We have a three year old daughter. He is going to meet this homewrecker who is also married.

  • Comment Link AJ Thursday, 25 February 2016 07:03 posted by AJ

    I'm guy separated for 3 years. The one whom I've married left me because she didn't like husband and wife relationship . . what I've to do?!?! Is it wrong if people like me have a secret relationship?!?!

  • Comment Link chuck Tuesday, 15 December 2015 01:59 posted by chuck

    I have been married for about 10 years and separated for a year and a half. After getting married I brought my wife to a small town where I lived and that she hated. She has now moved back to her home town 3 hours away and will not even talk to me. I have begun the divorce process several times but could not follow through with it. No children. It's Christmas. I am angry and sad. I have not cheated. But I feel cheated. I cant stand going home to a quite empty home to just my cat. Am drinking to much and need to get out of this box. I may download the tinder app.

  • Comment Link virginia hugget Monday, 14 December 2015 22:41 posted by virginia hugget

    So is it ok to date or see someone during separtion?

  • Comment Link tony Friday, 27 November 2015 12:43 posted by tony

    My wife and i were together 17 years, been separated for 4 months now, she left me and took our daughter with her. She started dating someone else after 3 weeks! she has known him for several years.

    i started dating someone after only 2 weeks! i also knew her for years. however, my new relationship kind of fizzled out after 6 weeks. she thought i had commitment issues! that was never the case. i enjoyed our time together and was becoming quite fond of her. i never spoke about my wife with her at all.

    My wife is apparently still with him, but makes some effort to be around our neighborhood when she knows i will be there. And of course i always invite her in for a drink and a chat.

    Divorce is not on the cards at the minute as apparently she still loves me but not in love with me.
    which is good for me as i am still very deeply in love with her and probably always will be.

    so marital status is important for those who want it to be and of no importance to those who dont.

    i will always be proud of my marriage, it was and still is of importance to me. but at the end of the day it is only a piece of paper.

  • Comment Link sammie Wednesday, 04 November 2015 00:37 posted by sammie

    Been separated for 6 months now husband already have a new girl he's living with. Even tho we aren't divorce yet. An I start dat someone if I wanted to or wait my year for a a divorce

  • Comment Link Claire Wednesday, 23 September 2015 23:07 posted by Claire

    What do I do now? Husband is cheating and wants to put me out on the streets with the kids? Not divorced or never talked about divorce?

  • Comment Link Brenna Wednesday, 09 September 2015 14:35 posted by Brenna


    Hurrah for all the quitters and people who can talk their way out of feeling the natural guilt that comes along with being a cheater. Have the patience to keep yourself under control until the papers are signed.

  • Comment Link Kenneth A Briganti Monday, 07 September 2015 04:36 posted by Kenneth A Briganti

    Hello. I'm ending with my wife of 27 yrs,but scared of being on my own of sorts as I lived at home until 18 joined the army so the military was my parents for two yrs then got out went back home with mom for three more yrs met my ex in college studying acting drama we fell in love got married in three mos and were, married 27 yrs so I've never really been on my own we have a, son she cleaned me out twice of a, accident settlement then a in VA UPGRADE in my compensation. Which was a,pretty big retro active amount I was told from the very beginning don't marry her shes a, conniver user abuser and and money hungry but love is blind so I still married her she said out right because of me being gullible naive easily led she used me for personal gain and never loved me and don't like me she said she felt bad because I was a, nice guy lonley and she wanted out of her arm chair ruler father's controlling ways being an only daughter with three bros she saw,opertunity and a sucker and ran with the ball she said she saw old bf as we were married from time to time on the side for sex but was to naeive to see it now two yrs out I'm on my own and she has our son says she will not divorce me bc then she'll loose all my veterans benefits like extra, spousal pay for her and son rent paid for her medical benefits etc. She's dating it hurts because she still has my last name but sees,someone else lives with her doesn't work but he's living on my VA benefits and other government benefits and is not my family and she says she's not ending with him and to get over it that he's her bf and is supporting him that's it what do I do.

  • Comment Link Joe Sunday, 23 August 2015 18:09 posted by Joe

    We have been married for 58 years are are in very good health and have our OWN money and investment that wer see never co-mingled. Files separated fed. and state income (both her decision). Our marriage has been over for many years. She finally decide to leave.
    Our daughter tod me she was ha ING a house built in anther state. In January 2015 she left me a note telling she was moving and listed household items she was taking with her. Later, she left me a note telling me when the movers wer ed coming. Since she moved I have NOTHING from her and do not know where she lives or her phone numbe r. She is gone for good and that's OK with me. I am living get my life without street or r ed gets.

  • Comment Link Robin Friday, 03 July 2015 18:14 posted by Robin

    Wow, so heartening to know I am not alone. I have had my own closet/room for 7 years. Finally fit a small bed in but slept on floor for 4 years. We have an 11 year old girl that understands maybe...This person is so repulsive that I cannot even sit next to him in the car without cupping my hand over my mouth and nose. He is 5 years younger and plays video games thankfully in his own room 8-10 hours a day. I must handle his laundry and bedding and am humiliated in public. We have a mortgage and he is fine with, if you don't like it start walking. Question is... can I date/ We both agree there is nothing in our way but finances.

  • Comment Link keith Wednesday, 10 June 2015 04:08 posted by keith

    have just separted after32 years of marriage

    learing how to talk women after all this is scary but

    see it has new phrase of my life My and i have moved

    from each other

  • Comment Link claudia Sunday, 17 May 2015 06:49 posted by claudia

    My husband and I are sepatated for the second time its now almost a year. I am seven years older than him been married for 12 years. He called me and said he missed me and love me and he gonna come home brcause he had it with the women he been dating because everyone just lie to him and im the olny women that has been faithfull and honest with him.
    Still love him with all my heart but am scared he gonne move out again when he feels married life is too hard. He left because he said i dint appriceate him and everything he do is wrong in me eyes and the truth is he is correct but when i saw were i wa wrong he already left. I dont no what to say too him now . Any advise for me thank you

  • Comment Link JN Wednesday, 29 April 2015 21:19 posted by JN

    I'm in a terrible situation, my husband is moving out soon, and I don't have a job, I lost my job this year. I had not worked in over 10 yrs. I have no income, what should I do? I have been applying for jobs. I know its his responsibility to take care of our son. But, I will be left with nothing, he didn't even file separation papers. He had an online cheating thing going on, spent over 4k on someone he never met, before that, he was using drugs and staying out all night. I still love him, why? I never cheated on him no sex over a year. He was watching tranny porn, I asked him is that what he want. We went to marriage counseling. That didn't work out so well, because he felt like he was fully to blame for everything. I need help? how am I to pay bills? etc. He never talked to me about anything.

  • Comment Link America Wednesday, 22 April 2015 01:25 posted by America

    I started dating my boyfriend though he was separated from his wife eventually I end up being pregnant by him now my situation is his wife back in the picture cause he wanted to do a seems like he getting second thoughts. They don't have kids together. I don't know what to do.

  • Comment Link BM Wednesday, 08 April 2015 07:20 posted by BM

    M boyfriend has been married for 16 years but when we met he was separated and beginning the divorce process but it stopped. I stopped seeing him for a couple of years to later connect again but this time he was back to living in the same house of the "ex" who continues being the wife but now under a new agreement. the agreement "will divorce once their kids are 18 yrs old" (Kids are now 15 & 13).

    She knows about me and is ok when he stays the night or nights at my house (i see the text messages where he says he is coming over to me and she answers "ok have fun". He says there relationship is no different of being roommates of great friends due to the kids that he loves me!

    I am very much in love with him and have tried to break us up many times only for him to come back asking me to take him back and I always do :(

    I don't know what to do anymore, I love him but I can't seem to get away and I don't believe the divorce will happen, after all they have learned to live like friends and once the kids leave they can still be "roommates" as its the comfortable thing to do. Any comments and advice is helpful.

  • Comment Link anna Tuesday, 31 March 2015 11:18 posted by anna

    my ex stil cal me text me always and he is complaining about my boyfriend

  • Comment Link Javier Wednesday, 11 March 2015 15:58 posted by Javier

    How many sad stories in here!! I've been separated from my wife or should I call her EX? for more than 4 years, we want the divorce but she lives in Russia, and me in USA. Married in Argentina!!!! And my daughter is with her, only 12 years!!!! I've been living in hell for this time, unable to have my daughter and just found a nice girl I would like to date... I truly don't know where to apply for divorce, but I am also very worried that maybe I will not see my daughter again and my new date might say no.... I'm 54 and don't have much time left in life to wait... more complicated than this can't get!!!

  • Comment Link Cynt Jones Monday, 02 March 2015 19:08 posted by Cynt Jones

    I boyfriend proposed to me a month ago and I found out a two weeks ago he was married. He got married back in 2009 at the courthouse to his son mother, unfortunately he was incorcerated from 2010 until 2013. When he got out he seperated from his wife. We began dating in 2014. He said he didnt want to tell me because he knew I would have left him. He said he was trying to end the marriage before I found out. He said he kept pushing off taking care of his business because he was still trying to maintain a dating lifestyle with me. I have not called of the wedding but I decided to support him through this process. He was so scared to tell me that he got married, I actually found out because the son mom called my phone to say congratulations and then she tagged that on the end(so messy right). Any he has all the paperwork, has spoken with a lawyer and is starting the process now. He now keeps me posted on every step of the way. Do you guys think I'm handling this correctly, should I leave him?

  • Comment Link tim Saturday, 28 February 2015 03:30 posted by tim

    My marriage was perfect until my wife told me it was over. I love her more than anything. We have a 6 year old and 2 dogs. I had to move out and she has the kid and the dogs. I'm totally heartbroken and never saw this coming. My life has been ripped away from me and she wants me to move on but I can't give up on our family. What do I do

  • Comment Link jany hoorn Monday, 09 February 2015 21:12 posted by jany hoorn

    i am married to my husband for 12 years and have a 9 year old daughter. He's from cameroon and I'm from south Africa. February last year my husband went home, come back and start behaving bad,like beeeting and insaulting me, I was so confused, I than talk to his sister who than told me to spent the weekend by her place for safety sake, because my husband is always drunk, the nect day he change locks in house and keep my daughter in, and tell me his wife is coming soon, he than throw me out, and now he stay with this women

  • Comment Link Marissa Villasanta Friday, 30 January 2015 16:30 posted by Marissa Villasanta

    I am separated to my husband for 6 years..i have 2 daughters age 21 and 12...they stay to our home with the father....i work oversea to provide for the studies of my children....but my children now wants to move out from their father...what shall i do???they choose to stay with me...thanks..i hope you can give me a good advice....

  • Comment Link KEVIN Edwards Tuesday, 20 January 2015 21:23 posted by KEVIN Edwards

    My girlfriend told me I never gave her permission too go out and have fun...she said we're separated that we're still together but separated and that I can't call her babywwhat should I do?

  • Comment Link Crissy Friday, 09 January 2015 12:46 posted by Crissy

    Ok I've been married for seven years now and my husband and I have broken up a few times and have always gotten back together but this time it's different it took me three days to thinking about taking him back because for the past few weeks he's saying over his fathers and friends houses so that's why I broke up with him but then he tells me he's sorry and I forgave him but then he tells me he wants to move in with his dad but still be together I don't get that at all and it's killing me ... I need help! What should I do?

  • Comment Link joss55 Sunday, 04 January 2015 12:48 posted by joss55

    In response to Warren...

    I have experienced the same situation, except it happened twice. I took my wife back the first time only to go through the same thing all over again 7 years later.

    Marriage, needs both partners to be committed, if one or the other, or both have not finished "sowing their wild oats", then it's doomed... sorry.

    I can to one conclusion, it doesn't come down to straight or gay, there is another category for a married couple to consider and that other category is monogamous. UNLESS you are both 'monogamous', it will NEVER work.

  • Comment Link park Tuesday, 16 December 2014 01:49 posted by park

    Personally I lost My relationship And It is interesting to learn that how marriages get lost in a blink of an eye.

  • Comment Link Troy taylor Tuesday, 16 December 2014 01:00 posted by Troy taylor

    I would just like to have a woman 55-60 to take out on dates , like going to the show and other places. I do love the Lord my Jesus .

  • Comment Link Doug Saturday, 29 November 2014 18:17 posted by Doug

    My wife and I have only been married for 5 months and already separated this being the 2nd time, the 1st for only a week and when we got back the best 3 weeks of our life but then back even worse after. Now its been 4 long miserable weeks that we have been apart. Their has been so much trust that's been broken ion both sides. The weird thing is our counselor says that we can get through all the hard stuff fine but we bicker like school kids. I love this woman with all my heart and her 12 year old son, in this time apart i have realized how much i took that little guy for granted, i was so focused on having a baby with my new wife that i didn't even realize i already was blessed with a precious son. Now coming into the picture wasn't easy they both were set in there ways and both had allot of trust issues from the past and i myself wasn't brought up the best way but i wanted this family to work out so bad and there has been some life changing things that had happened in the last year, her mom got got sick and had to go to the hospital and after the hospital screwed up she went into a coma and months of this went on that my wife and i were at the hospital daily sometimes only going home to shower but then she passed away. During this time allot of stuff came up in my wife and put me in a bad position, i just tried loving her but she was subconsciously having past issues arise at this point and that's were my issues came in effect. I never really got over the hurt she had put me through while i was just trying to be there for her and that's my fault for not letting go but while her mother was in a coma we got married, we wanted to do it while her mom was alive and we loved each other very much now the timing wasn't the best but we are married and i don't wan to give up on our marriage like this. The time apart i have learned so much about myself and am willing to start dating again but my wife is stuck on 6 month thing that we must stay separated no matter what. The part that i don't get is we love each other we both promised to stay faithful even continue to wear our wedding rings, but we are trying to limit our communication but honestly we haven't gone a day without some form of communication so i believe there is hope, My problem is that when you put a time line on god your limiting him. He could restore us in a snap of a finger or it could take way longer than 6 months, but by the mere fact we cant go a day with out communicating and we see each other at church 3 times a week and we even meet up on Thanksgiving for a hug and talked or the 1st time face to face for a good long while, i am ready but she is not. I don't want to be desperate but its supposed to be the happiest time of year and all i see is family together and it kills me to be alone. All i do anymore is go to work, go to church, read the bible, pray, and think about her and us. What can i do to get this family back together ? Is there even any hope of a life long marriage since we have only been married for a such short time and already been through so much ?

  • Comment Link ahmed Tuesday, 18 November 2014 18:42 posted by ahmed

    Its been two years my husband and his family through me out and still they didn't filed the divorce. I want to go back to him. My question is how i can go back should take police with me? And if i go there without police and husband called the police, is there any possiblilty police will take me away or leave me with him and advice my husband its a legal matter go to court if he doesn't want me? Plz help me

  • Comment Link a pancake attack  victim Monday, 17 November 2014 14:25 posted by a pancake attack victim

    I was with my wife for 3 years, i just met some one new 6 weeks after she left me, now my ex is telling me i never fought for her, I'm confused?...i know we haven't gotten divorced yet but why does she have to try and ruin this new girls experience?

  • Comment Link megan gaylord Wednesday, 12 November 2014 15:29 posted by megan gaylord

    Ok my husband and I have been married 4 yrs and before we got married his ex was trying to tear us apart and she almost did our marriage has een going down the drain the last yr or 2 finally he up and left this last june and we were seperated for 3_4 months and I just movex back in with him 3 weeks ago hoping we could make this work but just found out he was talking to seeing & had dates, with the ex that tryed to tear us apart yrs ago she told me everything down to when and where they had sex! I confronted him about all of this and why he didnt tell me&lied he did admit some but says shes lying about most of it. I need to know what to do please help

  • Comment Link Warren Monday, 20 October 2014 03:05 posted by Warren

    I have a weird situation that I am not for sure how to handle or even what to expect. My wife and I have been married for 5 years as of today but back in May she left me, moved out, had an affair with another women. Well she moved out into her own place and did not continue the affair with the other women but instead about 3 months ago wanted to start having sex with me and who am I to pass that up? Well now we have passionate sex all the time but she does not want to move back in and does not want to try to work on our marriage. I just find this very strange and she isn't to much in a hurry to get a divorce either has anyone else ever went through this? If so did the wife ever come back? I have told her that I have forgiven her of what she has done, wrote her letters, apologized for anything that maybe I offended her with but she just wants to have sex with me and nothing else. So Confused...

  • Comment Link fatima Saturday, 18 October 2014 04:29 posted by fatima

    o hospital receber seus e-mails e também obrigado por voltar para nós e nos diga o que fazer para não fazer fazer o pagamento e nós queremos que você saiba que o seu primeiro montante a ser transferido para a sua conta bancária tem ainda no banco que você tem que tentar o seu melhor possível e fazer o pagamento hoje, para que possamos proceder a transferência para sua conta bancária hoje e você não precisa se preocupar nós prometemos-lhe que uma vez que você tem fazer o pagamento que você está indo para obter o ascender na sua conta bancária, mas você precisa ser rápido e fazer o pagamento ok e você tem que ser rápido e voltar para mim, uma vez que você tem fazer o pagamento e apenas tentar e ir para qualquer banco em seu país para que a transferência pode ser rápido e estamos à espera de seu recibo de pagamento hoje

    Obrigado por sua compreensão

  • Comment Link Jaime Monday, 13 October 2014 19:21 posted by Jaime

    My husband and I are separated and living in separate houses. He like the arrangement and feels like we should be able to see other people, but he doesn't want a divorce. I feel like that is a divorce and feel guilty even thinking about agreeing to go on a date. He has no problem...thoughts?

  • Comment Link Jerry alesna Friday, 10 October 2014 10:46 posted by Jerry alesna

    I'm a married man but separated with my wife for about 8 months now, no more communication, she change her number. But now i tried dating again to forget the hurtful past. Yes i am happy with dating again but the only problem my heart hasn't move on cause no matter what i do i just can't stop missing my wife because i loved her so much. I just don't know what to do anymore because i'm still married with my wife but i know its over because she left me and probably my has moved on already but in my part i'm having a hard time moving on because there's not a night that i don't miss my wife....jj

  • Comment Link chichay24 Thursday, 25 September 2014 21:39 posted by chichay24

    what if i get pregnant w/other guy im dating by now and im still marrie but separeted..what will actually happen?

  • Comment Link Liza Friday, 19 September 2014 18:15 posted by Liza

    I am separated from my husband and will be getting a divorce and move back home to FL, with our daughter. However, I am sort of seeing my ex that I lost contact with of 7 yrs. and he is separated but no papers yet. He's been separated for 7 months and don't live together and they quit talking and communicating a month ago. She lives with her parents and he lives on his own. The wife no longer answers his calls or anything and been talking about divorce for a yr. with him. They only been married 2 yrs. but 7 months of those were when they were separated. Well, I been talking to him and he still has feelings like he did years ago and so do I. We broke up years ago for stupid reasons and we both regret on ending it but neither one of us forgot each other all this time. So my question is, since I am moving to fl , should I continue anything? I am scared at the same time because of all the stores. When we were together , we were together for a yr. So I am so up in the air. Probably because he's waiting on his wife to get the papers and let it go but I feel like its stupid, if he loves me so much or whatever. Why doesn't he just end it?

  • Comment Link Peter Gonzales Thursday, 11 September 2014 21:09 posted by Peter Gonzales

    We have been separated for nearly two years. She had me vacate the premise, our home. Our two boys and her needed to be free of my oppression. I had been treating her less than kind for several years. I am sending her money and visit as well. We still have yet to sign papers that have been written up from our mediation.

  • Comment Link Dee Tuesday, 12 August 2014 14:16 posted by Dee

    I lost my father in April a week later while I was collecting his death cert my husband left, there was a note saying that he loved me with all his heart and he would ring me soon which he did, he went to another country and I was supposed to go be with him the end of july, I had the ferry booked, had my dog sorted for travel then all of a sudden he told me to cancel the ferry, he is not given me any reason, I have asked him if there is someone else and he says no, he gets angry if I ask him questions, I repeatedly ask him if we are over and he does not answer me, he won't tell me he loves me anymore, I am so confused, I don't know if our marriage is over or not, all I want is a straight answer. We did not have a bad marriage which makes this all the more confusing..

  • Comment Link Jess Monday, 11 August 2014 15:21 posted by Jess

    Wow Erna, you're timing is interesting. I am separated from my husband for 9 months, and I live with my daughter in Germany, for work. I still love my husband very much, but it was so painful for me to always be the evil wife to some other woman in his life. I'm very smart, attractive and successful, and have no problem finding a man, but he had me convinced that I was the problem. I tried so hard to be the perfect woman for him. It stressed me out and made me depressed. He had the other women convinced that I was horrible, but he stayed for his daughter, which is why they stuck around. The truth is that he ignored our daughter most of the time, and I was always left to be the single parent. He's in the Army, so my purpose was to keep the benefits and be the scapegoat for his problems. I finally left because I couldn't handle the shell of a marriage anymore.

    Erna if I were you, I'd run before he breaks your heart. Not only did he lie to you, when you found out the truth (I'm guessing because you had a suspicion), instead of being remorseful and sorry, he was angry with you for snooping. This was the story of my life. You will never be able to address any real issues, and everything will always be your fault, and eventually you will be miserable but afraid to say anything. If you cry or become upset about anything, he will see you as weak. Get out while you can sweetheart.

  • Comment Link CeRue Saturday, 02 August 2014 17:26 posted by CeRue

    I'm still married by law but have been physically separated from my husband for the last five months. We have two little daughters together. They both live with me in a different state. He has not supported his children.

    There is a letter of agreement we have notorized, of him agreeing for me to move out of state with out daughters.

    My question is, is it a law that I could be sued by my husband if I were to start dating and possibly moving in with my boyfriend before my divorce is finally over??

  • Comment Link Sheila Tuesday, 22 July 2014 04:20 posted by Sheila

    He is already lying to you? When you picture your "dream guy" does he lie? I say Move on to someone who can be honest with you right from the beginning. Someone who lies..... LIKES to pretend to be someone he is not. If you stay with him accept that fact.

  • Comment Link Erna Friday, 18 July 2014 10:42 posted by Erna

    Am almost in the same situation, when I met my boyfriend he told me he's divorced but we are living together but the ex-wife is living in another country. So one day I find out that they are just separated not divorce. when I ask him about it, he started becoming angry and asking me why did I checked on his private documents and he said its up to me if I want to go on with the relationship and again he said after his separation he didn't knew that he will fall in love again and putting a divorce it will not stop him to go on with his life. Now he's angry with me, she change his attitude towards me. I really love him and I try to apologize but he's not answering all my questions. am confused please help me.

  • Comment Link Catherine Hamilton Monday, 07 July 2014 03:17 posted by Catherine Hamilton

    I am in the same situation as u are, except my husband has no other wife or kid. I feel ur pain and waking up in the morning and going to sleep with out him is torture. Like you, we had our ups and downs and I told him to leave out of frustration and it's been 3 months today that we are still separated, he's seems to be fine, but I'm not. So happy I ran across ur post, it felt like I was reading about my marriage. I tell u, a lot is changing n this world and I pray for strength for all.

  • Comment Link Lynnp Sunday, 08 June 2014 05:10 posted by Lynnp

    I have been married for 16 months,and separated for nearly 3 months now,me and my husband are in love but we have so much issues that we cant resolve, causing so much fight and argument. Lots of times he would say he is gonna leave me and sometimes i tell him to leave, but because we love each other we forgive and forget. Two days before my husband deserted me he told me he accepted a job out of state. He then left me unprepared and not secure about our relationship. Until the very hour of his departure he dint want to talk to me about anything, he left as if theres never a relationship. We talk and text once in a while. One cause of our argument is he constantly talk and text with hos ex wife who is now married and they have a son together who lives at the same state where he got this new job. I asked him whats going on between us. I am left confused and frustrated because i dint know what shelf to put myself in. Are we over or what. Just like that. He would hangup the phone if I ask him about our marriage. He doesn't give me answer if he still love or care for me even if i tell him all the time how much I miss him and love him and that i want him to come home. No answer when I ask him if theres a chance for us to get back together. But he wanted me to tell him whatever I do, and act like I need to ask his decision or permission about things that I do. I know I contributed with the arguments but he left one month after our last fight. His decision to move out is a real shock to me.I cant move on until he tells me its over. I am so concerned who he is talking to,is he dating anyone or is he with someone. As long as I'm still legally married to him I feel like I can't take the thoughts of him being with someone. I dont want to seek legal separation or divorce is not up to me because I am still hoping there will be chance for us to get back together. I'm tired of getting hurt by him invalidating who I am to him and our marriage. Please I need advice. I dont know what to do. It hurts the thought of him being with someone. I want him back but I dont know if thats what he wants. I want to move on but I cant because I am still married with my husband. He probably want divorce but I dont want to do it,unless he will. When i told him he clearly make it look like we are over forever, he "said this is what he dont like, and he ddnt say any of that". It is hard not to know my position.

  • Comment Link Fiona Saturday, 03 May 2014 18:36 posted by Fiona

    I'm married woman and separated with my husband for 4 yrs. he went back to his ex girlfriend and about 7 months ago I got I contacted with my ex boyfriend who is separated from his wife for three yrs but still go on and forth to his wife's home to visit their adopted daughter... He does not have anything to do with his wife of eighteen yrs, and we were having relationship for 25 yrs. I have a son with my husband. My ex boyfriend and I are so much in love. But he sometimes go to visit his wife's home because he said it's just for the sake of the girl they adopted. I need help. I am confused, what shall I do? Please help me...

  • Comment Link flor Friday, 28 February 2014 16:37 posted by flor

    I am separated from my husband for almost 6 months. He got me a house and move in with my daughter. We both agree on the situation because we are not happy anymore. We been married for 19 years. He is 30 years older than me. I am seeing someone and pretty much happy. Am I an embarrassment to my family and friends? It's my concern. Please help!