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The following was recently posted as a blog by a member on the social network, within which she shares some insightful points about navigating the process of divorce:

  • Lawyers are human too, but if you do not feel yours is working out, get a new one.  Some lawyers do not require a retainer up front, ask around.
  • Counseling, some counsellors have a sliding scale and will adjust their rate according to what you can pay, ask around.
  • Free counseling, some women's centers offer free counseling to those who qualify (leaving an emotional, physical, mental or any other kind of abusive relationship). If you need it, inquire.  In my area, there is the shelter and the outreach program, which are completely separate, the counseling was offered by the outreach centre.  They also get donations to give away to those who need them, toiletries (soap, toothpaste etc.), backpacks for kids (and school supplies in Sept.), hats, scarves, mitts, and other stuff.
  • Creditors, most just want their money, if you actually take the phone call instead of ignoring them, you can work out a deal, sometimes they will defer payment for a month or so.
  • Services, look into what local services are available.  There may be assistance to help with electric bills, food banks, sponsorship for kids activities etc.
  • Your bank, do not hesitate to go to your bank if you need financial advice.  They can consolidate, refinance etc. 
  • Support, build a support network, people to help you, hold you up and support you.
  • Time, allow yourself time to cry, laugh, scream whatever.  You can't rush the process, everyone will work through their divorce emotions at their own rate.  Eventually, you will be able to look back at how far you've come.

I'm sure others have some useful tidbits that they too have picked up along the way, feel free to add more!

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1 comment

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 28 April 2012 06:07 posted by Guest

    Dating During Divorce: During a separation, especially if the wife has filed for divorce, be prepared for your tender, loving spouse to turn away from you, and begin dating a parade of younger, athletic, more accomplished women promptly. Do not be surprised or too hurt when you find out the co-worker couple that you have met at annual boondoggles, bonding over mutual work issues..etc... and he is the one who has set your husband up with a gaggle of cheerleaders that are certain to numb his separation pain..... At this point, early in my separation, I had to face that I married a man that NEVER shared my Christian/ Biblical polite behavior, which translates into this:

    Divorce your first wife in a very respectful manner, before you become heavily entwined in a new relationship which is sprinkled with long weekends in Hilton Head, Tampa, and a coastal town in Texas...since you had four kids with wife-y number one, you are now grounded at the hub station, no trips, no man interested in a woman with 5 kids, no mileage plan of your own ....the 401K is in his name.

    Girls, I don't care how handsome, sweet, honest or loving your boyfriend or spouse is... i have seen it happen, over and over and over again...TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! Do not be a pleaser, do not try to bring him home for one more night of "good-bye sex: no matter how horny you are.....for real, it will bite you in the rear so fast, you won't be able to see that new herbpes virus, moving into your body cavities!

    People, therapists and other woman told me to sock money away, document, document, document and try to keep up with whatever technology he is sending in (like EXCEL...almost killed me>>) We should not have to ramp up every skill we have to file for divorce, yet once I had working phones, printer , scanner and fax machine....what else did I need in life~ Bec artful daring!