My marriage ended in 2007, we separated in 2008 and our divorce was final in 2010. In all that time I haven't been asked out to so much as coffee in all that time. I feel completely invisible. I am over 40 and thankfully doesn't look it, but I am getting no attention at all. I smile, make eye contact but nothing. I recently asked a guy to a movie that is on a committee I volunteer on. While he was flattered he told me he was taken. CRAP!
I don't drink so I don't go to bars. Tried the online thing for about a month but it made me feel uncomfortable, I don't like the lack of face to face contact and I 'm scared of coming across a crazy person. From what I hear from my male relatives the idea in a guy's mind of what they can "get" now is so different. With the video and internet chicks (thanks Beyonce and Kardasian :( ) regular women are less desirable. Rather unattractive or heavy guys really believe they have a shot with the model type and that is what they are going for. Men my age...a few too many pounds, loosing hair and all...they're looking for 20 year old looking women. Not to mention now that interracial dating is no longer a death sentence, black men are not even giving me the time of day (a black woman).
Asking a man out is soooo new for me. I don't know which is worse having a guy say no or be ignored and never asked at all. My self esteem is shot. Yes I'm smart and funny, cute (wish I were beautiful), interesting and caring but who gives a crap about that it seems? Is it so bad to want to have male companionship? I can hear my sister now saying, “You should be happy with the peace you now have at home and hanging out with your friends.” Don’t get me wrong I love those things but there is still an empty place in me that would like having some testosterone around ya know. I am not looking to be remarried or even a relationship, I’d just like to be in the company of someone I could flirt coyly with, to open my car door, to guide me through a crowd with his hand on the small of my back. Is it too much to want to be seen by a man?