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I have calculated that since the time my ex and I separated, back in July, that I have accumulated over $10,000 worth of attorney's expenses. So, that averages to $1,666 per month, which sadly enough is very close to my individual take-home salary.

My case isn't going to end quickly. Because there is a child custody dispute issue, my trial might not even be until July of next year.

I'm a fairly financially savvy individual, and I'm feeling the pressure of the continued attorney bills that are going to come my way, through the process of an upcoming trial.

Not only is the accruing debt insurmountable, but I need to make some decisions in the interim about my home, job, and the expenses that are associated with both. I admit, I've not always been a financially fit gal. I sacrificed a lot of peace of mind that I wanted in life to support my husband's dream of everything bigger and better, and to make more and more money to have the "grass on the other side of the fence."

Wonder if he likes his grass now...

I certainly am not chipper about mine, but want to try and be a responsible person with the circumstances of this divorce so that I can piece my life back together and move on. It sucks to look at figures this way and say, my divorce is costing me over $1,000 a month — but I do know, that if I had stayed in my marriage, I would have lost a lot more than money. I have no regrets, just want to make some sound decisions.

How much has your divorce cost you?

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7 comments

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 06 May 2012 06:31 posted by Guest

    I have lost all of my savings: I have lost all of my savings and about to lose my home to the attorneys. I am not sure who is worse, them or my ex.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 20 June 2011 22:00 posted by Guest

    Well...this is the fourth: Well...this is the fourth summer and it has been three years...my lawyer bill is presently over 50,000.00.
    You would think that we had a lot of assets, but no, he just continues to take advantage of the courts and me! AND still no one stops him...our system is broken....and so is my spirit.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 13 June 2011 23:08 posted by Guest

    This will be the fourth...: I absolutely feel your pain. Contempt of court? What is that? My husband was in contempt several times and is still in contempt after the decree was signed 2.5 years ago. NOTHING happened to him during the proceeding and I can't afford to effectuate the decree. The only people who made out were the attorneys.
    My husband went on an internet site and met a woman while still married to me and while planning the second half of our life together! The website Chemistry was his vehicle and he chose a woman in another state...Tampa, Florida. I live in Georgia. He left 3 kids and me with the job of picking up the pieces of 4 broken lives.
    I digress...I spent (and still owe) thousands to attorneys due to the nature of the system. Attorneys love when their is an adversarial situation because they make more money by constantly having to contact the opposing attorney etc. All the while making you think that they are "trying their best" to get him to do the right thing. Both attorneys come out fulfilling their fiduciary obligation to their firm. It a license to steal and a crime.
    I had to sell my home, was left with no car, I was a stay at home mom for 24 years and had no full time job. I had no where to go because I couldn't afford rent for an apt and had no credit. The list goes on and on. Meanwhile he makes a 6 figure income. I'm not quite sure I understand how the process works. The books say one thing but it's quite another when they put women on the same playing field and leave them on the poverty side of the divorce ledger.
    The inequity needs to be addressed along with unethical attorney practices. We need to take a stand and address this unfair practice.
    Best of luck to you...be strong.

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 29 May 2011 22:00 posted by Guest

    This will be the fourth: This will be the fourth summer fighting the divorce...and over three years...I am over 50,000.00 !!!!! For the life of me I can't understand why this continues. I live in NY, and was married for 29 years. He doesn't want to give me half of his pension which the law says I am entitled to. I could go on and on, but why? He is in contempt of a court order now...same thing that has happened so many times before and still no one stops him...hopefully this week the judge will step in.

  • Comment Link dola Saturday, 14 May 2011 11:59 posted by dola

    I live in india & I had a mutual divorce very recently. although my case was extremely uncomplicated & we both wanted 2 separate, the lawyer charged me Rs. 3000 per hearing. We had 3 hearings & i lost Rs .9000. next he charges RS. 1000 just 2 get my divorce certificate. So we all have the same story. I don't have children so may be due to the lack of complications of child custody, the expenses are less in this case.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 13 May 2011 17:53 posted by Guest

    Divorce costs: In California, by negotiating a Marital Settlement Agreement between us and allowing a default judgement, we will pay a total of $360 ($20 for a legal book, free county paralegal review, and $340 in fees to the county) and be done in 7 months after the first papers are filed. And that is after being married 27 years, owning property, and having a variety of retirement accounts & pensions. While we don't agree about who is more of a jerk, we can agree on what is fair.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 13 May 2011 15:51 posted by Guest

    How Much is Divorce Costing You: I feel your pain. I too have spent over $10,000 on lawyer fees, and switched attorney's because the first attorney I picked did nothing but tell me not to get emotional about it? How can you not be emotional about divorce? I think its ridiculous the amount of money these divorce attorney's charge, when in most cases it's pretty standard procedure. I agree with you, I would have lost a lot more too, if I stayed in my marriage. Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.