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In reading "How We Choose to be Happy", I've come across the same statement several times — that we have the ability to control if we have a bad day or not, that we control if we find happiness in our day.

There is an exercise in the book that asks you to sit and speed write for four minutes that things that make you truly happy. The idea is to really internalize and write down the simplest things that make you happy, that make you smile — so that you can incorporate these things in your life on a daily basis.

Seems simple enough, doesn't it?

I don't know about you, but I certainly have a lot of shitty days that will surely be coming up in the next few months. With depositions, court dates, financial issues, the list goes on. To top it off, I resolved for the year to be truthful to myself. Yes, I'm going to still live these horrible moments within these shitty days, but my choice to find happiness — even if just for a few minutes — will challenge me to be more happy. I like that idea.

In four minutes, I came up with a pretty long list of things that make me happy from cooking to singing in the shower. There are so many things that we can do as individuals to make ourselves smile. Yes, it's okay to laugh at yourself too, if you're inspired.

These four minutes were well spent. I now know what I can do regularly to stay positive and create some happiness in my life, even through chaos.

I hope you can find some happiness for yourself too.

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  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 31 May 2011 22:46 posted by Guest

    Fear of achieving happiness: Of course we choose to be happy, but the reality is that our fears or concerns for the impending journey into the abyss of divorce, can, if we let it, consume our energy. I found that if I stop allowing myself to think about the negatives and make myself focus on that which beings me a measure of joy, I could achieve happiness, if only for a moment. The trick was to keep my mind and body "busy" with positive thoughts and tasks that I could achieve TODAY. Pain and grief can paralyze and keep you from achieving your goals. Simple tasks like dressing for the day can seem overwhelming because your mind and energy are still controlled/consumed by the separation and divorce.
    Like you, I cook and to this day I keep a list of favorite sites, so that when I am having a low moment, I pull up a food site or video of cooking and immerse myself in a culinary masterpiece. If it's a really rough day...a chocolate masterpiece. Then I take a walk and get some fresh air away from the house or office.