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I've recently purchased Alica Keys' last album "As I Am" and the song entitled "Lessons Learned" has given me much inspiration. In the song she shares an experience where she was emotionally burned, and that she considers this a lesson learned — which obviously got me thinking. What have I learned through my experience so far?

I've learned that love isn't enough. You can give love, share love, and hope to receive love back — but a good marriage consists of so much more than just love. We desire and deserve respect, compassion, compromise, to have our needs met, and to share equal value to the marriage and family.

I've learned what my expectations are for future relationships, and what I won't ever receive from my ex, as well as what I did that created more problems for my relationship. In my case, I closed off emotionally. I walked on eggshells for a long time, telling myself and trying to create a world that was "okay" when in reality, it wasn't.

I've learned that it is better to just ask for help when needed, instead of trying to do everything on your own. My ex never helped me with anything. I would ask, and receive grunts, or he would just ignore me. I ended up just not asking anymore, because it was easier to do these things myself than to ask for help. Now, I ask for help. My friends, family, support systems, and doctors have all been helpful allies for me through my divorce. Never close doors to people that want to help. If the offer, they genuinely do want to help you.

Embrace your lessons learned.

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