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I have a difficult time weeding through my own bitterness at the situation I'm in. I'm bitter about how I was treated and about how I'm being treated now. I am a very genuine individual, and my ex was not at all genuine to my feelings, wants, desires — and dreams. I feel as though he is making attempts to crush the spirit I have, the person that I am, that he despises so much.

I've mentioned in previous posts that I got married at a young age — 16, to be exact — and through years, I understand that it is normal for people to change. We adapt, our wants and needs shift. I mean, some shifts are negative, but I certainly don't believe that any of mine weren't adequate given the circumstances.

Anyhow, through time and counseling it was made apparent that he just didn't like the person I had changed into. I still feel as if he clings to the person I was when we first met — but I'm just not that person anymore. Time has provided me insight and adaptability. So, I'm dealing with feeling bitter about his inability to understand I've changed and moved on.

I'm bitter about his attempts to diminish my feelings, and to execute any legal advantage that he can gain access to, and mostly just because he has more financial resources than I do. I am bitter about that flaunting, I suppose. I'm most bitter about him attempting to stay in touch with me. I just don't want any part of that.

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2 comments

  • Comment Link Michelle  Hill Sunday, 05 June 2011 18:05 posted by Michelle Hill

    It's like you're reading a page out of my life..: I certainly get where you're coming from. My husband and I married when we were both 22 and over the years we've evolved into two different people...but that's good right? God help me if at 34, I was still the same 22 year old child he married...with a child I might add. But suddenly, I'm too "different" to understand, we're not on the "same page" ...as if his page is all that complicated. He makes a little more that I do financially...so does that mean I don't try as much? I'm not as ambitious? Who says that chasing money has to be the only way to gain happiness?

    Our family gets 110% of me everyday, I've been his biggest advocate, fan and stakeholder, I've gone through childbirth and military deployments, terrorist attacks, loosing friends, loosing parents (my father, his mother), you name it. Now because I'm not on his "page" HE wants a divorce but wants to be friends. Forgive me, but...."F" that. Who the heck does he think he is to call it quits after 11 1/2 years?! And then make me feel as if I'm being too emotional because I cry about it. (Note: he's cried 4 times in the 17 years I've known him) What gives him the right to say I'm the one throwing it away because I don't want to be friends after the divorce....?

    Grrr...is it wrong to imagine hitting someone straight across the face?

  • Comment Link dola Sunday, 05 June 2011 10:24 posted by dola

    bitterness & a tendency 2: bitterness & a tendency 2 blame ourselves r the main feelings we hv after a divorce