A recent visitor to the site wrote to us directly and was kind enough to permit us to excerpt her letter and post it here in our Community section. While the beginning of her story is an all too familiar story to many of us, we felt her journey was incredibly inspiring, in that she has managed to move beyond the bitterness and is now enjoying the process of rediscovering herself.
"I lost my husband to a third party...his company and then other women. We met at work, he was married and I was seeing someone as well. After a year of working together, we realized we wanted more.
Long story short, he got divorced, we got married and within nine years we had five kids. I lost myself, my health and had a full hysterectomy which partially led to a depression.
No one knew that my husband prioritized his work over me and our family. They saw how much he traveled and how involved he was with work, and how lucky we were because of his success. They never knew how lonely I was and how uninvolved he was with the kids in private.
When we moved to Florida, away from the protective cocoon of friends and family, the problems multiplied and he made it obvious that he was having an affair. I never suspected, and I feel cheated of 20 years of life.
I realize that we should have gone into therapy sooner, but I guess I didn't want to face the inevitable divorce. After one year apart, I could never go back to living like that and I'm finding my old self through pictures and memories and I'm enjoying the special time I get with my five wonderful kids who I love, adore and cherish.
I can't imagine the day I will go out on a date, but I know that down the road I will find someone who wants to put me first because I deserve it. Finally, I don't hate him anymore. I realize that he has never been in love and throws himself into work to hide the pain and loneliness that he feels."