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When you have kids, your ex will be in your life forever. Because you have kids, it's your responsibility to have a good relationship, but good relationships can have their drawbacks.

My first ex made a reappearance in my life — and his daughter's life— this year after a two-year hiatus. Wonder of wonders, his current relationship isn't going well. It doesn't take much to see that he's lookin' for love in all the wrong places.

What bothers me more is that my daughter fully supports her father's impromptu and not always welcome visits. He drops in when he pleases, and half of the time, my teen isn't even around. She's in school — which he clearly knows.

The hints have been dropped. An affair would suit him just fine. I've dropped my own hints with a sledgehammer. Ain't no happy times gonna happen here, buddy.

But my teen said, "Mom, he's my Dad. As far as I'm concerned, you two are supposed to be together." This came after I complained that the latest visit had gotten a little too touchy-feely for my tastes.

Now I'm understanding. I realize that the guy just needs someone to talk to or hang out with, a person that doesn't threaten him. I'm a big girl, too, and I can draw the line and maintain it easily. My ex's visits aren't the issue.

The reason for them, and the effects they may be having on my teen, certainly are an issue. Send him away for getting too comfortable in my home, and I risk my daughter's hurt feelings and anger. Let him hang out and grab my ass, and it's me who pays the price.

I think it's time for a talk. Looks like that sledgehammer needs to come out of the closet. Again.

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