I’m on the other side of Canada as I write this, visiting all my ‘un-divorced’ siblings. Right now I’m sitting in my older brother’s new house – a house that is so big, I don’t think I’d know if a bomb went off in the left wing.
The other day I also visited my younger brother’s house. And as I walked up his driveway, past his new SUV’s, towards his brand new, 5000-square foot mansion, my jaw was practically dragging on the ground.
As for my sister and her family, they aren’t here – they live in Australia. But I know they’re on a three-day sojourn at their holiday property in Western Australia, another asset they’ve accumulated alongside revenue properties.
I’m not writing any of this to sound materialistic. And please don’t think that I’m jealous. I’m not only happy that my siblings are living so comfortably, I’m proud of them for all their hard work…and for holding their marriages together.
But as the only divorced sibling, I can’t help but feel a bit ummmm…. ‘different’ than the pack right now. It’s not that THEY’re saying or doing anything to cause this. It all comes from me. It’s me realizing how different mylife circumstances are than theirs. And it’s a reminder that if MY family dream had held together, the external trimmings of my life would well resemble theirs right now.
But I would never change my decision to divorce; I couldn’t stay married for money and ‘things.’ And it’s not as if these ‘trimmings’ are forever gone in so much as they’ve been delayed. Divorce was just an unexpected detour on the path to creating my Family Dream.
And so I remind myself to let go of old expectations of where I ‘should’ be at this point in my life, accept where I am now, and enrich my life with the laughter and music of my children. To find joy in the simple things…and to have hope and faith. For some day my heart and soul WILL be filled by an amazing new man in my life. And this road I’ve taken to finding him will make all that we build together, all those ‘trimmings’, all the sweeter.