It was only in hindsight that Gail realized that signs of her husband’s cheating had been present for months: in the bedroom.
“Out of blue, he kept trying a new sexual position,” said Gail. “I thought maybe he’d seen it in a movie or something. ‘C’mon,’ he’d say, ‘Just put these pillows under your hips, I know you’ll love it.’ And when I tried it – and didn’t like it much - he acted completely disgusted, like there was something wrong with me. Guess he assumed that since ’she’ loved it, I would too…”
For Deana, it was her husband’s suddenly-slow ability to orgasm. “A few times when we’d made love, I’d even thought, ‘Wow, this is taking a lot longer than normal’ And “Strange this is taking so long cause he’s been out of town for weeks.’ But I guess that’s what happens when you’re getting your fill, plus some, with someone else.”
Other ‘bedroom warnings’ of a cheating spouse could include:
- a surge in sex drive
- less eye-contact/ kissing during sex, and preference for positions where they aren’t possible
- a decline or disinterest in sex
- disinterest in cuddling afterwards
- a new vanity in his body: he may parade himself (and a certain body-part) around as if ‘he’s the man’, or:
- concealing his body, always covering up when naked and/or dressing in another room
Obviously, none of these signs are a sure sign of cheating. After all, most individuals and couples go through ‘phases’ in the bedroom, and disconnect sometimes happens, right?
But both Gail and Deana agree that they wished they’d paid more attention to their intuitive response at the time - some part of them KNEW something was off, but had made excuses for their husbands’ behaviors and dismissed it.
“It’s not about being paranoid,” said Gail. “It’s about trusting your sixth sense. And at the end of the day, no matter how we try to convince ourselves otherwise, we usually know when there is disconnect in the bedroom.”