A few days ago I brought up the subject of Divorce Recovery — or a 12 step program for Divorce Recovery.
Allie addressed this subject, but she focused more about the divorce itself and not the recovery part. So, I created "my list".
Maybe that should be the point, it is a personal process, the emotions that go back and forth, the individual actions and reactions. If we create our own list, as a guide for divorce recovery, it carries our own personal story, therapy, and plan for recovery.
So, here is the one I put together based on "my" thoughts and feelings.
12 Steps of Divorce Recovery:
- To acknowledge that our marital relationship has ended. (Not our parental relationship).
- To acknowledge what major factors are in my divorce.
- To confront my spouse with these factors. (If the divorce is in the past, this is still a good step to take if you still have issues in letting go of the past.)
- To find and embrace all support and knowledge while engaged in the legalities of the divorce process.
- To detach myself from his wants and needs, and the co-dependent relationship patterns.
- To acknowledge that each emotional stage of divorce is "normal".
- To seek the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change what I can.
- To take care of myself with good nutrition, exercise, and surrounding myself with positive messages, and people.
- To let go of any guilt, or blame in order to forgive, let go, and move forward.
- To create new traditions, new hobbies, and an open mind for new friendships,
- To acknowledge any fears that are keeping me from moving forward.
- To be opened minded about the needs of myself my children and their father
- To hold my head up, and to walk in the grace, dignity, and love of each new day. (Not the emotional baggage of yesterday.