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A few days ago I brought up the subject of Divorce Recovery — or a 12 step program for Divorce Recovery.

Allie addressed this subject, but she focused more about the divorce itself and not the recovery part. So, I created "my list".

Maybe that should be the point, it is a personal process, the emotions that go back and forth, the individual actions and reactions. If we create our own list, as a guide for divorce recovery, it carries our own personal story, therapy, and plan for recovery.

So, here is the one I put together based on "my" thoughts  and feelings.

12 Steps of Divorce Recovery:

  • To acknowledge that our marital relationship has ended. (Not our parental relationship).
  • To acknowledge what major factors are in my divorce.
  • To confront my spouse with these factors. (If the divorce is in the past, this is still a good step to take if you still have issues in letting go of the past.)
  • To find and embrace all support and knowledge while engaged in the legalities of the divorce process.
  • To detach myself from his wants and needs, and the co-dependent relationship patterns.
  • To acknowledge that each emotional stage of divorce is "normal".
  • To seek the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change what I can.
  • To take care of myself with good nutrition, exercise, and surrounding myself with positive messages, and people.
  • To let go of any guilt, or blame in order to forgive, let go, and move forward.
  • To create new traditions, new hobbies, and an open mind for new friendships,
  • To acknowledge any fears that are keeping me from moving forward.
  • To be opened minded about the needs of myself my children and their father
  • To hold my head up, and to walk in the grace, dignity, and love of each new day. (Not the emotional baggage of yesterday. 

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