So this is what was told to me...Kill him with kindness (note: this is not for women who have been abused mentally or physically, just want out of their marriage or those who have been cheated on. Let those bums have it.) This is for women (such as me) who really want to work on their husband but whose husbands think life without them would be better and understand that the more you try to make them stay, the faster they leave...(like for me)
So, this was told to me by someone I really love and respect:
Kill him with kindness. Don't walk around like you're upset, with your head down and looking shabby. Not that you have to hide your feelings, but don't look the part of a broken heart (I liked that one). Look as lovely as you ever have, exercise if you want, cut your hair or grow it longer, smell sweet and be interesting. Hang out with your girlfriends and have fun every now and then. Hold you head up as if you haven't a care in the world and make sure your daughter…sees you this way.
They will see that’s while it's ok to hurt, it's not the end of the world...and you're worth loving. When he asked you what's on your mind...be coy without being mean...be limited without being secretive...make him fish (I actually tried this tonight, and it worked). Remember the days when you first met, make him remember what it was about you that he liked so much and start regaining those things, not for him, but for yourself, because I guarantee, that he'll see it...and so will someone else.
Reason being, if all else fails, and he does leave, you want to make sure it's the hardest thing he'll ever do. Don't make leaving you an easy feat. Make sure he knows and sees what he's walking out on and let him question it every step of the way. Be kind to yourself. Stop taking the blame (it does take two) and carry yourself like you're the SHIT…modestly. (that just made me laugh)
I felt so much better after I talked to her. I felt like I had confidence...a plan. But I realize that even if it doesn't work...and I watch him walk out...I've started a process that I can grow from. My daughter will look at me and not see a depressed, weaken and broken woman (even though that's how I feel on the inside most of the time) she'll see a strong and vibrant mommy…woman… and role-model. And pretty soon, I'm sure I'll begin to feel it too.