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I have seen several women ask about 12 steps of divorce, and to date, I've never seen any. However, I agree that if any situation requires a 12 step program, divorce certainly does. So, I drew up 12 steps as I see them, basing it off of my own experience and the experiences of those on this forum.

I'll admit that when I first played withe the idea I was thinking of it as a sarcastic and humorous undertaking. However, the more I worked on it the more I felt that this was truly something that might prove useful. I present this for consideration and advice.

Without further ado...the 12 Steps of Divorce: 

  • Step 1 - We admitted we were actually headed towards divorce and that our marriage had become untenable.
  • Step 2 - We came to believe that there was no way out but through that could restore our sanity.
  • Step 3 - We made a decision to do research and rediscover our lives as we now knew them to be.
  • Step 4 - We made a searching and fearless moral, mental, physical, and emotional inventory of ourselves.
  • Step 5 - We admitted to ourselves, our children, our family, or another human being the exact nature of our divorce and our own shortcomings in the marriage. We saw the bitterness in our lives.
  • Step 6 - We accepted that our lives would never be the same and reached out for help.
  • Step 7 - We found support and assistance to help us heal, adapt, and overcome while accepting that we must forgive in order to move on.
  • Step 8 - We made a list of all legal, emotional, and physical aspects involved. And then found strength to do what was necessary to face them all.
  • Step 9 - Made changes to our thinking wherever possible and accepted our new reality. We also faced and tried to make amends to our children for what they were going through.
  • Step 10 - We continued to take personal inventory and when we were hurting, found comfort. When we were confused, sought wisdom. When we were shaken, found strength. When bitter, sought to forgive.
  • Step 11 - Sought through mediation and legal council to improve our divorce. Through law and reason, as we understood it, improved our fortunes. Pursued only honesty, truth, and justice on behalf of ourselves and our children. And sought to act in fairness without malice in our legal undertakings.
  • Step 12 - Having had an awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other divorcees, and practice our new principles in all our affairs.

Keep your chin up, you'll do fine.

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