I was talking to a friend here on the network, and she has been getting burned when she tries talking to her STBX. It seems most women have not learned the art [and art it truly is] of hanging up on one's ex.
Oh, we all think about it, and some of us can actually do it given enough anger. But the art of hanging on the troll is to be able to do it calmly, cooly, and walk away without guilt — despite the fact that he was ranting, raving, and prevaricating while throwing guilt upon heaping spoon of guilt at you.
So listen up, girlfriend(s), this lesson is for you ;)
If you start out conversations with him with the intent to be all business and he deviates, start giving him excuses [and I mean far out excuses] and then hang up. For example your convo might go something like this:
You: Well I understand that, but we need to discuss [insert finances, bills, signing paperwork] and this needs to be handled right now.
STBX: I don't care about that. You are just a power hungry wench blahblahblahblah.
You: Well I'd love to hear what you think but unfortunately my worms need to be fed. *click*
This whole scenario is not about deviating from the convo. It's about taking power back. If you sit there and listen to his ranting you:1) are feeding the troll which as we all know is a big internet NONO and2) are giving him the power to attempt to breach your mental defenses and burn down what ever self esteem and power you've so far amassed.
Giving him the excuse is not rude. It is a mental wake up call to yourself that you are recognizing his game and stopping it. You see, when you give him that excuse you will hear a distinct pause on the other end of the line. Because he will have to do a double take and in that instant you hang up.
Therefore, you have neither interrupted him, nor have you really hung up on him. You gave him a reason you had to leave and you left — end of story.
Now, it will be really difficult the first few times, and you might even feel guilty. It is natural because you really are a good person trying to be polite and do the right thing. Which in your mind means sitting there and just taking whatever he's dishing. But that is, to be honest, bad strategy for war and hard on the ego and emotions.
So, fight that feeling of guilt by remembering that most of that guilt is preprogrammed by him anyway. If you don't do what he wants, when or how he wants it, you obviously don't 1) love him, 2) respect him, 3) care about the relationship. I would submit at this juncture that all 3 are now truly the case and he can bite you.
Chin up and prepare to hang up — it is after all, what the troll deserves.