Healing a broken heart and getting over your break up means you have to build a new future, but it's important to remember that you also need a new relationship with the past.
Here are 15 tips help you heal from your divorce:
- Make a YOU Journal right now. Decorate it with images and materials which represent you. EVEN if you are a guy and this idea sounds ridiculous, writing about how you feel could be the single biggest improvement you could make to your current state of mind.
- Think about the break-up of your relationship from different points of view and write about it: a) What are the generalisations you have made about yourself and your ex? b) Think of someone you admire (friend, mentor, character from history). Imagine he/ she is watching a movie of this part of your life and step into their shoes to watch it instead. What would their comments be? c) Now imagine a completely neutral observer is watching the movie of your life. Step into their shoes and watch it from there – what do you notice about the interaction from this neutral perspective? d) Notice the differences seen from each point of view – what do you notice?
- Volunteer at a soup kitchen or home for the aged or football training squad etc.
- Schedule a makeover or change your image. Go for a drastic change and consult a stylist or friend.
- Drink many hot herbal drinks and sleep with socks on. Rub Vicks Vaporub on your feet (it may seem weird but it works!)
- Emotional Freedom Technique: Tapping whenever you feel in complete despair helps release blockages within your body. Negative emotions will literally evaporate before your eyes: a) Tap above eyebrow X10 b) Tap under eye X10 c) Tap under armpit X10 d) Tap under collarbone X10 e) Tap on index finger X10 f) Tap under pinky finger on back of hand X10.
- In these stressful times, talking about your problems and fears to them could make you more relaxed. It also makes you feel that you are part of a group and not lonely – phone your Break Up Beautifully coach Adele if you feel you cannot discuss how you feel with friends of family. You can talk about your problems privately and let your emotions out
- Do not see them for 60 days. This will help, I promise.
- Create a playlist of Feeling Better music. SAD LOVE SONGS ARE BANNED!!!
- Delete them from your Facebook account, log out of their email and delete them from your phone if possible. Following their every move will simply TORMENT you
- Play sports or any other recreational activity. Exercise will help pump adrenaline and other chemicals around your body that makes you feel naturally healthier and happier. Furthermore, it makes you forget about your past troubles and you might meet another ‘special’ person in your life
- Write your ex a letter. In it tell them everything you loved about your relationship and him/ her and everything you hated about the relationship or him/ her. When done burn the letter and bury it
- Throw out ALL your underwear and get new set. It will flush clean all the old memories you had of your ex everytime you get dressed
- Have a DUVET day. Lie in bed with your favourite movies, books and all your favourite snacks and don’t move. Enjoy the luxury of spending time doing absolutely nothing with no one bugging you or nagging you to do anything else
- Join a book club or a women’s group. NO, these are not for old gits but such clubs will put you smack dab in the middle of intellectual loop again – AND just think how nice it will be to discuss something other than your divorce…