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This group relates to women who are going through or had major surgery.

Mine is an ilieostomy (complete removal of large and part of small intestine, so I wear a ostomy bag 24/7). Or it can be women who have lost a breast or breasts or other physical altering changes in their bodies and how we can handle a new relationship.

How do we get out there and date and let men know that the sum total of our bodies is not who we are, but that we still have feelings and sometimes deeper scars than those that show the most.

I know I'm finding it hard to have a great body image no matter how much weight i lose, or what great clothes i wear, because i'm afraid that no one will accept it and that's why I haven't dated since my husband left 2 1/2 years ago.

Any advise that other's out there can afford me in this matter would be greatly appreciated. I think that if there is not a group already, that there should be one so we can share stories and advise.

Click the following to join the group, Do Surgical Scars Cause Emotional Scars?

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  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 11 January 2011 13:34 posted by Guest

    Surgical Scars: I too, am embarrassed about my myriad of surgical scars. There's the mastectomy, there's the hysterectomy scar, and then there are scars from "repairs" made after injuries incurred in sports I have participated in. Medically, I have been through Hell and back. If not anything else, I'm a survivor!

    I waited three years until I tried the dating pool. Quite gingerly, at first, only getting my toes wet. I'd only go out to events or dinner. No one was going to see me without clothes. Until, I was swept off my feet!

    It turned out the guy was a much younger man (I'm a poor judge of age). He was in his late 30s and I was in my 50s. Who knows why, but he was mad about me?? It didn't last all that long, but long enough for me to realize that I was OK. This man loved my scars?! He found them all fascinating, and deemed them to be badges of courage.

    Now, I am with the most wonderful man. A professional athlete, and my age (something to be said for dating in one's own age group). Not a one of my scars bothers him, and therefore, it doesn't bother me. He's quite protective of my physical limitations and he doesn't view me as a pile of scar tissue. The man makes a point of telling me how beautiful I am. He loves the whole package, just the way it is.

    Scars are like screaming children. When your kids are throwing a hissy fit, you are sooooo embarrassed. If you notice, everyone else just takes it all in, and shrugs their shoulders with, a better you than them look. It really doesn't bother other people so don't let it bother you. When the right man comes along, you'll know it's OK to bare your scars!