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I believe no real happiness can ever come from two people giving into selfish lust and passion and destroying an entire family.

Once the pain seems to have subsided and everyone seems to be okay with the new arrangement of your ex-husband, his mistress, the children that you had with him, and the new children to come ... oh, and your new husband and possilby more children ... at the end of the day, is everyone really ever okay? 

Adjusting to divorce and your ex's quick movement to another may seem like the hardest thing to over come, but it's not impossible. It's easy for your ex to move on because he feels he has found the one. But what most people who cheat fail to realize is that even though you are leaving what you think is a terrible situation without any break or self healing, it's just a matter of time before relationship woes set in.

Inevitably, one of two things happen: 1) he'll get tired of the mistress-turned-girlfriend or wife and begin to realize what a mistake he made leaving you because he misses certain qualities you had that she doesn't have, or 2) he'll move on to yet another woman, leaving his second wife for a new her.

I think the biggest mistake (most) mistresses make is believing they could never be in the place of the wife, or rather, they could never be "cheated on and left, themselves" — wrong!  The same goes for the husband when he leaves his wife and thinks he will ride into an eternal sunset with the new woman and she won't cheat on him, or the lust and passion won't die — wrong again!

Even though some say they don't care about that risk because they are in love with THIS woman and they will stick it out ... once they find life is ordinary, and marriage still requires the same amount of work the last one did, it's likely one or the other will leave the other if they did it once before.

Regardless of the outcome, the question always arises for us as the one that was left, "how could he do this to me?"

Honestly, asking this question is pointless, because the answers you seek simply will never get answered. You also should be prepared to never get that apology or explanation as to why your ex did what he did and accept the reality that your life will never be changed back to what is was. The sooner you accept this, the better for your own sanity.

Because at the end of the day, or at the end of our marriage ... moving on, maintaining your sanity, and being happy with yourself is really what counts.

— by I. Sellers

 

(this blog was written by one of our members on the social network and agreed to let us feature it)

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