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My son has started acting out. He's been potty trained for over a year and suddenly he's wetting his pants. He's also doing some things that I thought we would never see again: biting, having huge temper tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants, and climbing into my bed when I'm trying to sleep. He misses his daddy, but at his age he doesn't quite know what to do to express his feelings. Instead, he lashes out at me.

It's frustrating. I'm doing what I can to help him express how he feels. I've read what the experts say and I even made an appointment with a specialist to figure out what's going on. She said I need to embrace these outbursts because without them, his anger and confusion might evolve into depression. It all boils down to the little guy missing his dad.

I'd always wondered how the kids would react if my husband left. Now I know that it isn't easy for them in the least. My daughter, who is a couple of years older than my son, is able to talk about her feelings with me. She's sad, but at least she can verbalize what she's feeling.

My son, on the other hand, won't really put to words the things that are going through his mind. I don't know if he thinks that Daddy left because of something my son did, which of course isn't the case. I don't know if he truly understands that he will see Daddy again.

When my husband told me he wanted to take the job overseas and be away for a year, my internal reaction was celebratory. 

A whole year without having to deal with the problems in our marriage? Sign me up! Now that I see how my son is hurting over this, I feel a great deal of guilt for ever agreeing to this. I may be happier – and believe me, I really am – but this certainly isn't the case for my kids.

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1 comment

  • Comment Link elaina Wednesday, 01 April 2009 01:09 posted by elaina

    Big adjustment. I bet it's: Big adjustment. I bet it's rough on them. But it's a transition and like all transitions, it will smooth out. In the mean time, maybe you could have the kids connect with him via a daily Skype session or something? May help them understand he is still around and coming back one day, not just gone, gone, gone. In some ways this is probably a MUCH harder transition than just seperating or divorcing, staying in the same town and letting the kids split time between parents. good luck!