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In our last marital counseling session, my husband and I discussed our communication. I explained how I feel really disconnected to him. I told him that I don't feel close to him and I don't know how to change my feelings. Lord knows I've tried, but I'm pretty much out of ideas when it comes to getting close to my husband again. The other day I started wondering: When does it become unfair to my husband to still be in this relationship?

He has a wife who is lukewarm with affection and who has admitted that she has no idea how to feel closely connected again. That certainly can't be fun. On top of that, he probably feels like the situation is mostly his fault. I know he's hoping that one day I'm going to "wake up" and start loving him like I used to, but from this angle I don't know if that day will ever come.

Would he be happier in the long run if we ended it now? Will he be able to find a different wife who isn't so stinking jaded? Am I not doing him any favors by sticking around?

There's a song on the radio nowadays that says something along the lines of, "I can't stand the idea of another woman touching you, but I should." I'm probably butchering the lyrics, but it's still intriguing nonetheless. If I can't figure out a way to reconnect with my husband, everyone is going to be miserable. If we end the relationship, everyone will be miserable for a while, but then at least there is a potential that he can go find someone who will make him happy.

As for me, no thanks. I'll make myself happy. Another relationship is the last thing on my mind.

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