Inspiration, Encouragement & Strength
join a community of support ›

Community Talk

Community Talk makes it easy for you to find relevant, informative articles from First Wives World's leading contributors, all in one place. All content is hand picked by First Wives World and covers a wide range of topics important to you.


Back to Article List

Filter Articles By:  

Do you know who really has legal rights over step-children? From signing report cards to drafting a will, legal expert Susan Reach Winters has some surprising answers in her informative chat with Debbie.

Click the following to return a directory of articles and resource videos on Kids, Family and Divorce.

Back to Article List


Leave a comment

323 comments

  • Comment Link Due Monday, 20 May 2013 17:40 posted by Due

    Worried mother: in my case I have 2 children with my ex. He is remarried and we share joint custody. Does his wife have the right to say they can't talk or come see me at ball games, the grocery store? Can she take them to the doctor without him present? Can she authorize decisions about them without his knowing?

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 20 March 2013 03:42 posted by Guest

    Im am a step parent of a seven year old boy. I have raised him and supported him his whole life, since he was a baby. He real mom has been in prison for over two years. She has made no contact with him at all. She was just released from prison! I didn't know how to tel him she was wanting to see him. But she justkidnapped him from his daycare! Just like that! Isn't there something I can do? He doesn't even know her, and she can just steal him, with the clothes on his back! And take him to another state, without even letting me say goodbye! How is that right? I thought kidnapping was illegal!

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 26 February 2013 20:28 posted by Guest

    It really all depends on how: It really all depends on how you feel. If you support her and any decisions she makes for her children, then yes, I would say do so. If you don't then you have other questions you should ask yourself. Not to be rude, but when you take your vows with someone that has children, it also includes them as well...and ALL that it entails. Which means, they may not be your responsibility, but you are partially responsible in their lives and what could help or hinder their futures. Your wife would want you to support her as I'm sure you would want her to do. Ask yourself, would you want her to help your children have a chance to better themselves and their future.

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 16 February 2013 16:47 posted by Guest

    If you have any advice on the: If you have any advice on the problem you face, plz share with me, as I too have been going through the same battle with my children's step mother for the past 10 years. The court refuses to do anything!

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 12 February 2013 23:51 posted by Guest

    My step daughter is four: My step daughter is four years old her (Bio) mother just recently had a baby that tested positive for meth. Although the baby was adopted a Cps case was opened it is now in the da hands. Her mother hasn't had any contact with my step daughter for 8 months an has not seen her in a year. I was in contact with her case worker. What is the possibly that her parental rights will be terminated for all of her children

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 25 January 2013 01:03 posted by Guest

    Your husband is the child's: Your husband is the child's father and if he is keeping you and your stepdaughter apart he has the right to do so. Though you may be tempted to feel guilty try to let go of that because it will only create more problems. Go about your life and duties and grow in good ways that benefit you and everyone around you. Seek counseling. Drop the subject if it is getting you nowhere. When and if your stepdaughter reenters life let her find you a warm, nurturing influence on her life. She will need your strength.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 25 January 2013 00:58 posted by Guest

    You ought to see a family law: You ought to see a family law attorney without delay. They will know the proper way to handle this. The problem is of too great a magnitude to handle on your own. The cost factor should not be a consideration when your child's psychological and physical welfare are at stake. There are low-fee attorneys available through the state.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 25 January 2013 00:54 posted by Guest

    Your husband can exclude his: Your husband can exclude his children in his will. There are good moral reasons for him not to do so.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 21 January 2013 15:34 posted by Guest

    The step parent doesn't even: The step parent doesn't even have to be present with the biological parent in order to obtain school information, at least not in Indiana. As long as the step parent is on the schools list of people who can have this information then they can call or go to the school any time they please. It is up to the biological parent to add the step to the list...and make sure the school notes that the other bio parent cannot remove the step from the list without consent.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 17 January 2013 15:51 posted by Guest

    hello there,

    iam so: hello there,

    iam so sorry about your scary situation! i have been hated by my stepsons mother for 12 years and she has taken us back to court, out of spite, even though my stepson is 18 now. she wants my husbands retirement etc..i have feared her intentions even though she has never said anything...my best advice, though expensive, is to research and retain a lawyer who can work a case for you. such things can take a while, you may be charged a couple hours here or there per month until a trial date is set..or, when you have your son, talk to him about the day when he does not have to have anything to do with his stepmother OR father if he chooses. stay neutral but realistic about his feelings for his stepmother and father. be his emotional support..he will need you through this. ultimately, if played right, you will always have a relationship with him. they will not. research and go to a therapist together, if you can..use your deepest intuition, think long and hard before you take any actions..build yourself, make friends, take care of you..try not to live in fear. best to you, dear :)

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 12 January 2013 16:38 posted by Guest

    She does have every right to: She does have every right to take her son- she is the biological parent with as many rights as the father. She just needs to have the understanding that the father will be entitled to visitation and they will likely be ordered into a shared parenting plan. She would need to take proper steps to document her situation and I would advise her to go to Legal Aid prior to leaving- but in any event, she does have every legal right to take her child with her. She is under no obligation to leave the child with the father. The choice to leave with the child MAY or MAY NOT impact her case legally at the end of the day, depending on the peripheral details, what the parties desire and a variety of other factors.

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 12 January 2013 16:32 posted by Guest

    Unless there is a court order: Unless there is a court order stating otherwise, she can absolutely have conversations with the children's teachers etc. IF her partner, the biological parent who maintains parental rights, gives her permission to have those conversations. If he is there with her, there is nothing anyone can say unless the mother wants to petition the court for an Order preventing it- and she would need to have grounds.

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 12 January 2013 16:28 posted by Guest

    You are an adult. You can do: You are an adult. You can do whatever the heck you want to do. Make your own choices, live your own life. Your dad may just be reaching out to you because he's also grieving- even if he and your mom didn't get along. I'd consider all the options- take some time and really think it through- go over the pros and cons. You can even tell your dad you want to stay in the house your mom was in for awhile- just to grieve and not have a major change right on top of another major change and that you will consider his request- but you need time to process everything. During that time you may want to discuss all of the options with a counselor- (I firmly feel that everyone needs a good counselor- especially when going through a major life event- such as the passing of a parent...) Good luck to you- whatever you decide to do. Just promise you won't blow that money on strippers and kegs. :)

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 12 January 2013 16:22 posted by Guest

    Um, the poster didn't say: Um, the poster didn't say anything about giving the money to her step dad, she was suggesting paying for college for herself and not having to move out of the residence that she's been residing in that she considers 'home'. Not sure where you're getting anything about her giving the money to her step dad.

    You might also want to consider boundary issues, as it does look rather odd that you advise her not to tell people about the money and yet you're trying to get buddy buddy with her by inviting her to email you. Just saying...

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 11 January 2013 11:25 posted by Guest

    Same situation: In November my husband went to pick up his 5 year old son, when he did he had bruises in front of his Mother he told my Husband that is happened at school. The Mother said she noticed it days before but hadn't called the school. We thought that weird but my husband told her to call the school and deal with the situation. It's a 3 hour drive home and when they got here we looked at the bruises and noticed there were several and these were adult finger prints along both arms his back and chest. I asked him to tell me exactly what happened. He immedietly said DanDan did it, it didn't happen at school. DanDan is the Mothers boyfriend! We called the police and had a police report with Pictures and the childs statement. It was Friday so we were limited to what we could do! Saturday we called the DOCFS hotline they took are report. Then my husband took his son to the court house were he was given 2 restraining orders one on the boyfriend one on the mother. Which also gave us temporary custody instead of joint. He has been seeing a counselor and we will be going to court. This last weekend the child was given a weekend visit with his Mother on the grounds that DanDan wouldnt be there. Yesterday I took him to a specialist out of town and she was able to get very little information out of him. When we got to the car I asked him why didn't you want to talk to the nice lady. He said My Mom told me not to. I am livid. So we have scheduled a place closer who comes to your home and does a play date thing to try to get the child to talk. I can tell you the court will isten to your child. My husbands is 5 and they are listening. So what they say matters. The next time they come make sure you get it documented keep a diary photograph anything on the children, try to ask them without leading them let them tell you. They will. Especially if the situation at your house is a vast improvement to their home. We had same issue as you as far as the boyfriend works 24 hour shifts and then hes off 3 or 4 days. And she works 100 hours a week. Do not get upset if child services doesn't find anything. Go around them. We did. They are sympathetic to the Mother, not the Father. I hope this helps!!!!!

    Raenna

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 11 January 2013 11:05 posted by Guest

    Im a Mother and A So Called "StepMother": First I want to say, where are the best interest of the children? So you couldn't work it out with your ex? Neither could I. Life goes on and this means you need to make this as easy and positive experience with your children as you can! That is all of our jobs. If the Step-parent treats your child right and they are positive you shouldn't be concerned about your own toes being stepped on! I am a Biological Mother of a 19 year old girl and a 15 month old baby boy. But I also consider my 3 "stepsons" my children as well. I love them very much. I have had to watch at times as my Daughter's "stepmom" did things with my daughter that I would have liked to do. And I have done things with my "stepsons" as I am sure their Mom would have rather been doing. As a Mother and "stepmother" experienced here in this the last 10 plus years I can tell you your child has plenty of love to go around to you all. I believe one of the most important things is not putting your child in the middle. As soon as you do that you give your child the power to put you and the other parent at odds. You should influence a good and healthy relationship with anyone involved with your child. If there are matters that are affecting your child negatively then you as a parent should deal with them in the correct manner. You shouldn't bad mouth the other influences of their life, and you should try to diminsh anything bad as best as you can! Do not make your child feel bad because they love a "stepparent" it will backfire. It is you they will come to defy and have contempt for. And if you do manage to get that hold on them to do your bidding they will be emotionally scarred for life and their adult lives may be shaped by this. If you and your ex and their husband and wife show up at an event together will it not kill you to be the adult and sit together for your childs greater well-being? What is wrong with a step-parent wanting to be involved at school? Awesome that your child has a prent that wants to teach them resposibility and open a bank account. Do not let these small things concern you. Concern yourself with being a positive influence on your child, and making sure all those close are the same. If you disagree with them invite them to lunch somewhere remote, neutral ground and see if a solution can be reached. Remember, its ok to give a little, and its ok if your child has more then 2 people to love him.
    Raenna

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 10 January 2013 20:17 posted by Guest

    Wills: My consensual partner is purchasing the house we are currently renting. He wants to make a will if something were to happen to him to leave his property to his son (which is ours) and my son from a previous marriage. He has two underage daughters from a previous marriage who don't live with him. He wants to know if he can make out the will excluding his own daughters without them being able to contest it.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 02 January 2013 17:43 posted by Guest

    Lies and rights over so called children : I have been trying to understand for the longest how am I the mother of children I believe is either the on that claims they are grand-parent because I have not one once of right to my allege children. Like someone is play rent a Mom I have been to 34th south 11th street in Philadelphia, Pa and was informed a very bad custody battle with A Yvette smith using same everything everything down to the log!! Yet I am, being lead in very weird altercation with all the same names as well as allege family but, I am the one sustain the out bursts around like a circle and very calendared like plan event's yet, this name does not exist in the United states of America like someone legal keep changing it I am not in any other cultures and their for have not and did not change my name yet have not Power

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 28 December 2012 10:32 posted by Guest

    My 3 year old is scared of her Dads 12 year old step daughter: My 3 year old comes home and tells me she is afraid of her new sister. I ask why she is scared of her and she says she is mean to me when daddy is not there. I asked her what she does to her and she says she yells at me and tells me to shut up all the time. she says: daddy sleeps down stairs and I sleep up stairs with her and she yells at me all the time, I asked if she hits her and she didn't answer me. Where would a 3 year old get this from she tells me all the time she is afraid of her and doesn't want to go to her dads house because of her. Most of the time she doesn't leave me cause she is so scared to go there. also since the girl moved in the house my daughter after about a week all of a sudden started peeing to bed she has never done this before I'm thinking its her way of getting her dads attention to stay away from the step-daughter. When she is home she doesn't pee to bed only when she is over there or around the step daughter. Please help and give me some advice on what I can do! Thank you.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 26 December 2012 20:40 posted by Guest

    my stepsons: I have been married to my husband for 5 years and have been apart of his life going on 6 years. he has 2 boys ages 8 and 10 from a previous marriage and we have 2 boys together also, ages 3 and 4. we have had continual problems since we can remember with the ex and her husband. we just took them back to court to ammend the decree about 3 weeks ago. she has a huge grudge against me and didn't want me to have anything to do with boys. now we have it legally fixed and we thought things were getting better, but when we picked the boys up for Christmas vacation the oldest pulled us aside and told us he found drugs in the house and it was a month ago but he was scared to tell anyone he didn't want to get in trouble. he was begging us to not take him back he was refusing to go home and wants to move in with . we can't get a hold of our attorney being its the holidays and all, and we feel guilty for taking him back, he also informed us that he's been told to get the f....out of the house by the step father and the step . father is calling him names shoving around. not only that but before we went to court the youngest complained he was spanked over 36 Times with a belt...help us. do we reach out to cops or do we go thru the attorney again thanks.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 21 December 2012 16:08 posted by Guest

    DO NOT MARRY!!!: No way! DO NOT MARRY!!! Your life is going to be miserable!!! I did the same mistake. Trust me... Your boy friend is not in love with you, he is to blind with his daughter to see the good person that you are! If he has not even try to help his own daughter that he is supposed to love more that anything, what makes you think that he is going to try to work on carrying and loving you... I'm sorry but you have to face reality! I think that you should let him be along with his daughter so he can learn to be a father, not just that, but also let another women take your place, trust me you are going to end up so unhappy that you are going to age really soon for worrying about problem that you are never going to be able to fix. Not even therapy helps parents like him, really... He needs to live with his daughter. I will like to see how much he can really take from his daughter". Some times is better to cry for one day for one thing, then to cry your hall life for everything!

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 19 December 2012 05:56 posted by Guest

    stepparents: i saw your comment and that know one had replied to it .. i so hope you had did nothing yet . that is a lot of money.. your mom left you that money for a reason not for your stepdad okay. if she wanted him to have something she would of .. done that .. but she chose to give that to you.. only you.. because she love you.. i lost my mom 2 years ago i come from a stepfamily as well and they don't talk to me that often sense she has pass away,, so i so understand what your are going though i so hope you did the right thing and not give your stepdad anything.. if your not close with him don' your mom woudn't want you to there is a reason why she left if for you and only you .... so use if for good reason,, and for what ever reason don't tell people you have for saftey k put it in stalks or something for later on and in bonds for good use down the road she love you and wanted you to have money later on message me anytime if ever need to talk i am on face book under pine k..paula is my first name and face book look up is paula seymour

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 10 December 2012 19:07 posted by Guest

    Loving step mom: My husband and I have been married for two years now and he has had full custody of my step daughter for 5 years now. My step daughter is 8. He has her living with his grandma and aunt. I obviously would love for her to move in with us so we can all be a family (I have an 8 year old daughter myself). His daughter has asked to move in but he's flat out denied it and when he goes to visit her (she's an hour away). He doesn't want me or my daughter to come along. I love my husband but I'm tired of deciding what kid is to be let down this time and it hurts that I'm not "allowed" to come on his "visits". His aunt makes his daughters schedule so full there is literally not one day she's not doing something. She's on dance, karate, swimming, Girl Scouts, and takes tennis lessons. She also has weekly two hour visits with her biological mom. I'm so confused and I need advice on how best to approach this subject with my husband. I love him deeply but I feel guilt as tho I'm the reason he can't see his daughter. I know one day that guilt will win and we will end up divorced because I love my step daughter way to much to take her dad away. I would appreciate any suggestions or advice on this subject.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 05 December 2012 22:20 posted by Guest

    My 15 year old StepSon does not talk to me unless Im needed!: I have been married to my husband for the last 2 years and I have one child his has two. We have always had a good realtionship until now his 15 year old will not speak to me until he need me to take him somewhere or he needs money! Its going on 8 days now and I am throwing in the towel because I feel like I should be treated with respect and atleast acknowledge as a human. I will ask him how his day is and he will just walk by me like im not even there. What do I do? Not speak to him until he speaks to me or do I confront him about this issue? there hasn't been any disagreements to cause such a draft in our relationship!

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 28 November 2012 19:11 posted by Guest

    Being a step parent is a no: Being a step parent is a no thanks job. If you are having problems now, it will just get worst, much worst after you get married. I know i am in a similar situation. The absolutely best thing you can do is break up with your fiance immediatly and never look back. It will be hard to do, but if you dont you will have nothing but years of misery ahead. I guarantee it.

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 25 November 2012 22:01 posted by Guest

    My childrens stepmother: I have two children with my ex husband. We have been divorced since 2005. He is remarried and I have remarried as well. My children live primarily with me. Recently I went to my sons football game during my ex husband weekend visitation. He brought his current wife who has jealousy issues. While I was setting up my awning to sit and watch my sons game, my ex husband and his wife and my son walked by, "I had asked my son where he was going", he stated he could not play his football game. I asked him to come talk with me and his father "yelled" it was not my weekend, and proceeded to turn my son in the direction to keep walking. I did not respond to his behavior. However when my son came home from his weekend visit, he proceeded to tell me, his step mother told him he she wanted to harm me. The words she directed to my son in regards to the what she wanted to do to me, were most threatening on my life. My son was very upset and hurt by what his stepmother said to him. I felt very sad for my son and hurt to think that this person who is a mother herself could say such horrible things. I felt it would be best to take him to a therapist and myself to work through our emotions. I then filed a restraining order requesting that she stay away from myself and my children. The restraining order was granted to stay away from me, however in regards to my children, I was told I would have to file with the family law courts. I have an up coming court date, however I am very nervous that the family law court will not do anything about this situation, consider my ex is married to this individual. All of the years I have been in and out of court expressing my concerns. It seems as though the courts tend to dismiss or try to comprise the situation. I'm nervous and I find myself intimidated by the mediator.

    Some feedback would be most helpful!

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 20 November 2012 20:18 posted by Guest

    My mom died what to do pwith my dad nd stepdad: I am 19 and in college. Both my mom and dad had joint custody of me but i lived with mom and stepdad. My mom passed away two months ago and my dad wants me to live in his home. He has a room for mr. My brother lives with him but i don't want to leave my mom and stepdads house cuz it is where all my stuff is. My mom married my stepdad 5 years ago and this was or is my primary resicence.

    My stepdad says it is ok to live with him but my dad is insisting that imove " home" with him. I am 19 although my dad supports me.

    As an adult, what can i do. My mom left me $300,000 life insurance so cant i pay for my own college and live with my stepdad?

    Please help.

    Amy

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 20 November 2012 15:02 posted by Guest

    what if you married the: what if you married the mother and the kids were not in her custody and lived out of state. And she then asks you to support their college. The kids never lived with you and you have only seen them once in a while. Thoughts?

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 19 November 2012 13:14 posted by Guest

    i disagree!! you are a package deal!: When you marry a man, and you have children from a previous, he knows that before you get married, he also knows how much of a role the bio father plays or doesnt play. In my situation I had my son young, and his bio father didnt have anything to do with him since he was 2, i met my husband when my son was 3 and we had our own child together when he was 4. He always treated my son as if he was his own, and now OUR children are 15 and 11 and my son is very much equally his son. the bio dad still doesnt pay child support or see him, and my husband is fine with that, he even plans on adopting my son. But my point is, my son and I were a package deal, and he knew that. I would choose my child over a man anyday, but this case i didnt have to. My husband started planning for my sons college, just in case he doesnt get a scholorship, and my son wants for nothing, and calls him dad. He is is dad in every way that counts, and any man who marries a woman with kids and refuses to help care for them is a moron and not worth marrying. you will always be fighting for yor child therefor resulting in an unhappy marriage. I thank god everyday for giving me such a wonderful man who loves his family. Our son has called him dad since about 5 and tells everyone hes his dad, and my husband sometimes forgets hes not biologically his, and says it doesnt matter he is his in everyway our daughter is. So my advise, pick your child over this man, i learned men come and go, but you will have that love and bond with yor child forever, and the last thing you want to do is have the child or children grow up in a home where they dont feel fully loved and they are insecure. i speak from my own expierience as a step child, so i wanted better for my son.
    So I hope you do right by your child/ children and find a man who will love you and kids. I did, and there are alot of men like him. I am lucky that me, my son and daughter have a great man providing a great life for us. and soon he will adopt him, and he will carry his name, that is the only difference between my children is their last name. :)
    Hope this gave alittle insight and helps. the person who says he doesnt is a moron and might be a guy who isnt a fan of women ith kids. :)

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 11 November 2012 21:00 posted by Guest

    Daughters stepmother will not stop showering with her: My daughters stepmother and i have never really gotten along. She constantly intervenes intereferes with communication, she was growing marijuana in their home, but the county gave her diversion instead of pressing charges so the judge said it wasnt that big of a deal and even showers with her. She is now 6 years old neither her dad nor I shower with her and idont know how to make this stop. I dont hav a lot of money so i dont know how to correct this situation without a lot of lawyers fees? Please help.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 06 November 2012 22:24 posted by Guest

    Can a step parent open a banking account with a step child?: I am the biological and legal mother of two children. Currently my ex who is married has primary physcial custody because our children reside with him due to his house is in the school district zone and I live farther away but still see them and have joint custody. I just found out that my child is opening up a savings account with her step mom. She doesn't have any legal rights to my children because I haven't signed away my rights as the biological parent of both my children and never will. Am I right here? Is it wrong or even legal for a step parent to open a bank account for my child?

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 04 November 2012 11:09 posted by Guest

    Bad advice: Your obviously not a lawyer and are very irresponsible to give advice to a teenager that may believe you and not investigate further...give words of wisdom but refrain from legal advice if your not a lawyer because you were dead wrong in your reply!

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 04 November 2012 11:07 posted by Guest

    Teenage mother problems: Before you leave CONSULT YOUR STATE LAW. Every state is different!! There are agency offering free legal consultations and as a teenage mom, I'm assuming you will qualify financially. Do not take your child without legal advice... you may find yourself as the visiting parent or in jail...this is a serious offense in some states, I cannot stress that enough!!!

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 04 November 2012 11:02 posted by Guest

    Bio mother against step mom: The short answer is "Yes, and she doesn't need a lawyer to do it." Unfortunately, you cannot even have a conversation with your step kids teachers about homework much less anything more important. If they have talked to you before then they were legally wrong! Now, I'd like to know the answer about whether or not you can be physically present and quiet since I will have that situation on this Wed. Good luck...I wish everyone could just put personally feelings aside and worry about the best interest of the children!!

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 03 November 2012 14:41 posted by Guest

    You have every right to take: You have every right to take your son.

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 28 October 2012 10:03 posted by Guest

    Ex step parents: My boyfriend has just recently turned 16. He has had problems with his parents since he was born. His mother has been with many men guys who beat her drink and etc. she got married a few years ago to a man who was really good especially with my boyfriend. They got a divorce because his mom though he never talked to her just because she likes people to feel bad for her. She has no contact with her ex husband except for when she needs something and he still continues to pay her bills buy them food and help them with everything. His father. Is also a alcoholic and recently tried hitting him. Since the divorce with his mom his dad dumped his girlfriend and his mom and dad are sleeping TOGETER and my boyfriend does not approve but they don't really care. Neither of them are finically stable and his mom is on disability. There is lots of proof that he is better off with his ex step dad but is it legal for him to move in with his ex stepdad?

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 26 October 2012 10:00 posted by Guest

    From one BM to another: You sound really bitter. Step parents come in all shaped and sizes and are around for a whole host of reasons. You are making these judgments on people who have nothing to do with what happened. Also as a stroked your comment about us not caring when they are gone is rediculous.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 25 October 2012 21:25 posted by Guest

    Biological mother against step mother: So I am having some difficulty with my husbands ex-wife. I have been with my husband since the child was 3years old. I have been there for the last 4 years, by his side, helping my husband when he has his kid. The other is trying to block the contact that we have with the child, she is trying to remove us from the school and from my husband to be able to make desitions for his child. Now the mother wants to get her lawyer involved and try to get legal paperwork for me (the step mother) to not be involved in meetings. I do not give my opinion, I am there to be aware of the changes, to be a support for my husband and also because I care for the child and want him to succeed. My question is , does she have the right to legally block me from the child, just because she feels like it? I am not affecting her in any way and I am there as a support for the kid and my husband. Please help me. I appreciate your response.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 19 October 2012 12:38 posted by Guest

    ABSOLUTELY!!: You are absolutely right! You are definitely a package deal, he is not just marrying you he is marrying your children as well. He is joining a partnership, you cannot have a marriage and only have one person taking on the responsibility of the children whether the children were created by one or both parents in the relationship or not. Your children maybe be just yours legally, but they will become his in a manner of speaking once you get married or even if you are living in a marriage like relationship with him. If he chooses not to take on a role as stepfather and take is seriously then you should not allow him to take on the role as husband. It's an honor to take on these roles and he should treat it as such. Children should be loved not treated as an unwanted item that comes with you. They should be loved not raised in a house where they are always wondering whether or not they are loved by "the man my mom married". My husband and I have 8 children and 1 grandchild (none together) and they are all treated equally. They are loved, supported and supplied everything they need by both of us. I stay home and take care of them and he works. I am mom and he is dad. There is no name calling the house "step-dad" or "step-mom". We are a family and treat each other as such.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 19 October 2012 12:26 posted by Guest

    I just wanted let both of you: I just wanted let both of you know that your husbands (or significant other, fiancee, whatever the case maybe) should be there for your children just as much as they are for you. They have stepped into the role of father, not just husband or fiancee. You come as a package deal not solo.
    I had an ex who at first wanted me and my children (I have 4) after 3 years together he decided that he didn't want my children only me. It doesn't work like that with me. My children are my heart and if any man is going to feel otherwise about my children then he is not worth it (that's how I feel) I am not remarried and my husband is wonderful he absolutely loves me. He is honestly what every woman wants in her man, he pays attention to me, he waits on me, he helps with the children, he spends time with them, he is wonderful! He takes care of my children as if they are his. My ex doesn't pay child support but my husband doesn't complain, he always finds a way to make sure that all of the kids have what they need. His children don't come first just because they are his children. Everyone gets what they need.
    I know that finding a man like that is not easy, but knowing your children are getting everything they need from everyone in the relationship is easier to do.
    If he is not going to be part of the equation then you need to make some changes or get some help from a therapist or counselor. For me no man is worth my children's feelings.
    My children will grow up knowing I was there for them and did all I could for them and now they will know my husband was and is there for them as well.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 19 October 2012 09:46 posted by Guest

    Get Legal Help!!: Depending on the custody rights, if the father has joint custody, he can intercept by contacting social services or even the courts by filing a motion. If he doesn't, then you need to contact a lawyer and still speak with social services. No child should be spanked, hit with a belt or even verbal abuse by a parent, someone who resides with the parent or even step-parent. This is total child abuse and should be stopped, especially if the abuse is including the mother. It sounds to me that the mother is afraid of leaving and since this guy is home all day, it also sounds like he doesn't have a job. People apologize for being abusive all the time, but it won't stop!! Afraid of not seeing the kids should be your last worry, it's the physical and physiological condition of that child you should be worried about. Abuse is a growing trait among single parents, just read the papers. Call the police department and report him, because if you don't do something, no one will. Consulting a lawyer is free until you commit to legal counsel and check the internet for free legal help in your area, if you can't afford a lawyer. You aren't alone on this matter. Just don't sit there!!!

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 08 October 2012 00:24 posted by Guest

    I feel for you. Obviously: I feel for you. Obviously your step-son commands a large part of your husband's attention and your husband is unwilling to allow you to share in this part of his life. Even though his son is turning 18, the boy will still always be your husband's son and therefore always a part of your husband's life that he is withholding from you.

    I have been married to my husband for 18 months. His 17 year old daughter moved in with us 15 months ago. The problems this girl causes and the tension she has created in our marriage are way beyond anything I could have imagined before we got married. I don't know if our marriage will withstand this.

    If you are a couple, your bond should be at least as important as this father-son relationship. Talk to him about the kind of life you want to lead and the kind of marriage you want to have and if he doesn't want the same thing, consider seeking support for yourself elsewhere: from friends, family, and counselors.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 25 September 2012 11:56 posted by Guest

    absolutely!: Yes your side can holds up in court. You were defending yourself and have photo evidence of his abuse. I say go for it! Get yourself out of this bad situation.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 25 September 2012 11:18 posted by Guest

    Teen mother problems.: I am i teenage mother of a sweet 1 yr old baby boy. I am still with the father of my son. I soon want to leave him. I want to leave him when he is working & i want to take my son with me. If i just up & leave can he call the police on me? He is our child but every time i threaten to leave he says i cant take my son. Can i just take my son?

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 24 September 2012 14:39 posted by Guest

    I'm sorry but I absolutely DO: I'm sorry but I absolutely DO NOT agree with that comment. Although he technically has no legal financial responsibility to the stepchildren, if you marry someone with children, they are part of the package. It is all or nothing. A marriage is a PARTNERSHIP. Period. How can you maintain a good marriage when the spouse doesn't fully fulfill their vows to stand beside you no matter what? Seriously?!?

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 19 September 2012 17:34 posted by Guest

    When my dad died I went to my: When my dad died I went to my grandmas house to get pictures for the funeral and also took some paperwork. In the process I found a will. This stuff had been sitting in the same spot for 12 years! When my sister asked my stepmom when our dads obit was going to be in the paper, she flipped and said " WTF you cant even ask how I am doing?" and so on... but it ended by her saying that " we are not family and even my stepsister would tell me too", that I was my dad and his previous( deceased) wifes problem... even tho yea... I was teight years old and had an attitude (though I know I never had any effect on the happiness that they had together), and she said I had took her things of hers from my grandmas, which, sorry but no thanks. She also told my grandma that she had better get healthy becuz she wasnt going to be the one taken care of her... which my grandma has had 4 possibly 5 strokes in the past 10 years!!!
    Anyways I went to see an attorney about the will and what I should do.... My dad had left us 401k, S.S. ( if we could get it), vehicles, life insurance( lapsed), and all his possessions. The will also said where he wanted his ashes to be put! She collected so much money from my dads Union and at the funeral and is also getting 30,000 from the insurance company.... How come she cant pay and put him where he wanted to be! My grandma got a letter from an attorney in indiana stating that by Indiana law everything, even if there would have been a lawsuit becuz of the accident my dad was in.... his wife would have got every penny! How is this a last will and testament if what he wanted done after he died doesnt matter to....well... anyone except me!
    The papers that I got from my grandmas will probly be the most valuable thing I will get...... I found letters that he wrote from jail and never mailed to us, writings/letters to my last stepmom after she had passed, letters my mom had wrote 20 years ago. I dont understand why my stepmom thinks she had rights to these things... I left her stuff alone, she went to my grandmas while she wasnt home and went inside, left a note stating that she took what was left of her things and that there were things Jim wanted her to have.... which shes talking about guns... My dad was a felon.... shouldnt have had guns period! And Idk why she thinks she should get my grandpas gun from ww2, it should go to my brother...but within hours of my dads death she was already talking of selling his vehicles , guns, and harleys... Im going to be so sad when all his stuff is out in a stupid yard sale.... oh also.... My stepsisters boyfriend is the one who gets my dads leather coats and chaps and motorcycle stuff... I hope you read this and see the sarcasm in this Thank you!

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 18 September 2012 03:39 posted by Guest

    Bio Dad does not want me (his new wife) to be involved with kids: I am newly married and my husband is now saying that he wants me to have nothing to do with his son. His son is in a group home due to some secually bad things his son did to his daughter. His son is 17. His daughter is 12 but she lives with her grandparents now. My husband says that I should not go to the counseling, or go out with them when he has visits because he is his son, not mine. His mother passed away several years ago so it is not like she is in the picture. My husband feels that visitations, counseling, court hearings should all be handled by him and I should have no say in the matter. What is really stupid, I think, is that the social workers are saying the same thing. That I do not need to have a relationship with the son because he is almost 18 and will be on his own. They have also said that me being the step parent shouldnt be that i should be involved. I want to be as I feel that since we are married and this is his son, that I should be involved, but it has gotten so bad with how he doesnt want me to be involved we have gotten into several large fights. We go to church and I have tried to tell my husband that we are a family and keeping God in the center of relationship means that he and I are one and that I should not be cut out of parts of his life, like in regards to his kids. Can someone explain to me why he and the social workers would believe I should not form a relationship with my stepson.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 17 September 2012 23:57 posted by Guest

    Possessions: My ex passed away over a year ago, we had two children together. One is 32 and one is 23. He had a daughter from a second marriage and married for the 3rd time. He ws married to myself & his 2nd wife for approx. 12 yrs each of us. He was only married to his 3rd wife for 3 yrs.

    He left no will or no indications as to whom his belongings were to go to. He had several family heirlooms. My son & daughter as well as my ex-husband family have tried repeatedly to get their family heirlooms back as well as my son & daughter attempted to get what is rightfully theirs. Do they have a legal leg to stand on as far as getting any of his belongings. The 3rd wife, which he has no children with is slowly but surely disappearing with his possessions a little at a time.

    What is the legal leg to stand on to get what should rightfully go to his 3 children?

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 17 September 2012 10:19 posted by Guest

    my step daughter to be disrespecting me : in the begnning everything was good. i move in and i thought my fiance's daughter except me. we did everything together, movies, help her with her homework, took her to the park, cooking food everyday. everyone gives her a shower, but didnt show her how to wash her self, it would be done for her. i try showing her, but she would get water all over the place and she would spit water on me. she is 8 years old. she is use to getting everything she wants. she is not use to the word NO. time went on and i would tell her to pick up after her self, clean her bedroom. she leaves socks everywhere in the living room. i get nothing but attitude. she talks in baby talk, doesnt talk like a big girl. she talks back to me. calls me the babysitter. calls me mean. puts me down right in front of her father. she does everything for attention to get what she wants. Me and my fiance cant talk or ask each other about anything with out her butting in. she lies to her father all the time to try to get me in to trouble. she tells me to move out. trys to order me around. calls me ugly. 1 min she is being nice and the next she is right back treated me like crap. her mother left her when she was baby and never look back. i ask my fiance , if us 3 can go see a therapist and he said to me ah no. she lies to her father about kids at school bully her, mean wail it's not true, she has been stamping on her classmates feet and hittng them. she has no friends. i would ask my fiance for help, haft of the time he doesn't, he would tell her to go watch tv. my own kids doesn't want to be around her. i'm getting married soon and i need to know if i'm doing the right thing. i love my fiance and i want us to be a family, but she doesn't want it to happen. she only want it to be just her and her daddy and no one else. what should i do.

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 08 September 2012 22:05 posted by Guest

    Nothing: If he passes away she has no obligation to deal with you at all. She will not let her kids visit you child. This is unfair and your husband should have thought about that before marrying you.
    He's the father and should leave a will that specifies which monies should go towards his daughters' college payments, living expenses (child support) and the like.

    The one in the the wrong is your husband, (lots of wives and kids). Let him deal with it, have a will and a good attorney.

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 08 September 2012 11:32 posted by Guest

    Loving my step-daughters: I am a step mother to 2 little girls ages 8 and 7. My husband has full custody and I was talking to the mother of the girls and asked if something was to happen with their father would I still have some visitation. She didn't answer me but I was wondering if I would still be able to see them not only for me but for my daughter which is there half sister. I was also told that there would be a court hearing by a family member to give her custody. The kids live with us in Alabama but the custody case is in Arkansas. So who would up hold the hearing. I have been so tore up over this because she hates me and I know once she has them me and my daughter wont get to see them. I need help to figure out if there is something I can do to make sure at least my daughter sees them without her having to go to her house which is 9 hours away.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 03 September 2012 20:16 posted by Guest

    I am 18 years old. My step: I am 18 years old. My step father has been abusive to my mother on several accounts since he moved in 5 years ago. However, he had never hit me until a few months ago.. over us playfully drawing on his shoulder. He scribbled all over my mother, including her face, and attempted to do the same to me but found me awake. I confronted him on the issue and he took the first swing.. leaving a scratch across my eye. (of which i have photo evidence). I pushed him out the room and slammed the door. His fingers got caught in between the door and the door jamb. His fingers were broken and he went to the emergency room where he had surgery. My damage to him was greater, but accidental. Hes threatening to take me to court as an adult to keep my mom in the house. Can my case hold up in court?

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 01 September 2012 17:57 posted by Guest

    CPS, Law Enforcement????: I have two step children. My husband has primary physical custoday and their mom has them 6 days a month. We have been in contact with CPS since April, in regards to the children watching their moms boyfriend beat her literally to the ground. Her boyfriend has a record of domestic violence. I have googled and met with his ex due to lack of help from so called protective services. His ex has pictures of herself black and blue, scars all over her face from where he slammed her face into a picture frame, and a scar across her thigh from when he through a plate at her and she nearly bled to death. He has also physically abused his own children. CPS hasnt done anything to help protect the children. They never even return our calls. Today, the boys informed us that their mom and her boyfriend smoke small cigarettes and talk about "getting high." He is 10!! He went on to say that they "have a little white thing that they sniff up their nose." My husband called Law Enforcement who informed him that this is a matter of the court! I am confused!! Isn't CPS suppose to protect our children??? Isn't Law Inforcement suppose to uphold the law??? Aren't drugs illegal?? Isn't it emotional child abuse/neglect for the children to be subjected to watching their mom be beaten?? We have already been in and out of court for 6 1/2 yrs. By the time our protective services actually enforce and protect, our children will be grown. Hopefully nothing too bad happens to them with all these red flags and no official help. We have a stable loving home, the childrens moms didn't come from this type of environment. There is absolutely no reason why the children should have to be exposed to this!!

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 23 August 2012 01:25 posted by Guest

    I Am in a similar situation: I Am in a similar situation myself. My fiancée has 3 kids and they live out of state as well. When we went to one of the kids birthday parties earlier this year it came to our attention that the mothers boyfriend had been abusive with 2 of the kids and with the mother. My fiancée brought the kids back to NY that very day and filed for custody. The boyfriend had trashed their house and stolen all the kids valuables to support his drug habit. My fiancée has recently been granted full custody with the mother allowed visitation 3 weekends a month but she is not allowed to leave the state. You have options talk to lawyers in the the county where she lives thats where you will need to file for anything. Good luck.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 23 August 2012 01:15 posted by Guest

    Package Deal: I'd just like to say I very much agree. You are now a packaged deal, so to say. The man that you choose to marry should accept and take care of you and your kids. If it were the other way around it would be expected of you as well. I am engaged and have 2 kids from a previous marriage and he has 3 kids from a previous relationship. We both made it very clear if we want to be together our 5 kids get treated equally in every way.

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 19 August 2012 18:09 posted by Guest

    dirty mind: It's been that way for 3 years. He has a new sibling coming. He's old enough to know his mind. Let him stay with her, his school, his new sibling.. maybe it's easier for him to keep his normal pattern while he grieves?
    As for 'inappropriate' it's not as if after 3 years of knowing his step-mom as a second mother he's suddenly going to be seduced by the grieving widow. Shame on you for thinking with your pants!

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 19 August 2012 17:59 posted by Guest

    the law can help: You can file papers for custody and at that time, whomever they live with will keep custody until it's figured out. Contact a lawyer Monday or go to the court house and file, there are people there who can tell you the forms you need. Call CPS and have them come take a report, call police too. Document document document. There's more discipline than hitting and that guy should lay a hand on those children!! Their mother is an idiot to stay and put the man above her childrens well being.

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 19 August 2012 17:55 posted by Guest

    d-i-v-o-r-c-e: If my husband was unwilling to help care for my child that isn't his, he'd hit the road. He didn't just marry me, he married us. You and your kids were a package deal. He either supports the family in it entirety or he leaves. You don't want your children growing up feeling unloved and unwanted and that is EXACTLY what will happen when the husband say 'no, they aren't mine'. THATS BS!

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 19 August 2012 07:14 posted by Guest

    You both are right.Thank you for making me take a look at myself: It is a hard pill to swallow that yes I have been being selfish. The truth hurts, but it is still the truth. I had to think back to the things I've witnessed since I've known this boy. When he was 3 his mother was asleep and he got out of his house and couldn't get back in. He was naked in 23 degree weather, running around, locked out. This police report we obtained years later helped seal the deal with getting custody. He has said many times that over the years his grandma basically raised him because his mother was never home. So now I am doing the wrong thing by not fully embracing him and I see where he does feel abandoned. He deserves at least one mother in his life and I realize that has to be me. So thank you for giving me the much-needed reality check. Thank you.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 15 August 2012 12:39 posted by Guest

    Selfish Step-Mom: Feeling abandoned and unwanted like a red headed step child isn't helping his attitude I imagine. It seems all you are concerned with is the other children you have with your husband and keeping them safe is YOUR first job, but REMEMBER your step son is also your husbands biological child.
    You return a shirt when it doesn't fit, but never ever a child. If your husband intends on keeping him with you guys, please find a good counselor that will work with him to fit in; that is all he wants most likely. If he really wants to go back to his Mom though, you should support that and let him know that you guys will always be there if he ever chooses to visit. Soon enough he will be able to chose which parent he wants to live with anyway, if not already at 9. I pray everything works out for the best for you and your step son. take care! :-)

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 14 August 2012 18:03 posted by Guest

    No, she would just probably: No, she would just probably like some respect, as WE would give if WE were the step mom.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 14 August 2012 18:02 posted by Guest

    She's obviously not talking: She's obviously not talking about a person who is respectful of her rights as a mother. My ex's wife PRETENDS TO BE ME AT EVENTS so people will think my kids are hers. She leaves me off all forms, she takes their art from school on parent visitation day. There are evil people out there, and obviously this person is dealing with one of them, as am I. So back the hell off.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 14 August 2012 17:58 posted by Guest

    You shouldn't be allowed on: You shouldn't be allowed on this site. It is people like you who make our lives a living hell. Every word she said is correct. WE put them through grad school, WE had the kids. Not the lady sitting at home watching the "View" all day just waiting for her next shipment from Neiman's. You are a hateful, toxic person.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 14 August 2012 17:55 posted by Guest

    Amen. Amen. Amen!: Amen. Amen. Amen!

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 28 July 2012 21:54 posted by Guest

    I know how you feel, I have a: I know how you feel, I have a similar situation. I am engaged for 3 years (we have been dating 8 years) and I have two boys from a previous marriage. My fiance and I also have one child together. My finance will help when it comes to picking the kids up from school and buying them dinner and little things like that. When it comes to big financial discussions like college he wants no part of it, he has a bank account set up for our child together but he would never have one for my kids. My exhusband stops paying child support on a regular basis and even when my fiance sees me struggling to provide basic things like back to school shopping and etc, he doesn't offer to help. I know they are not his kids and he isn't obligated to help, it hurts that he doesn't even offer. We keep all our finances seperate and we each pay our own bills, we have nothing joint. I think this is one of the reasons I have not married him. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone feeling the way you do....

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 26 July 2012 13:19 posted by Guest

    i have to say that he dose: i have to say that he dose not have to care for your other kids. they are not his and by law he dose not have to. if you looking for a man to take care of you and your kids thin u have the wrong guy. he married you not the kids he is to take care of you and should take care of you. your kids have there own father that needs to care and support them.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 24 July 2012 21:22 posted by Guest

    No he can not do that. If you: No he can not do that. If you own the goose as well you can not be made to leave your husband is just trying to scare you into leaving, but hold your ground and do not budge. Some more advise is that you get a restraining order against his daughter since the police have the abuse on file, and they mite even force your step daughter, and husband to move out. I would also start divorce proceedings because your husband sounds like a real piece off work that you don't need in your life. Stand tall, and strike first!!!!!

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 23 July 2012 03:00 posted by Guest

    Kids : I'm so lost and I just wanting to know am I wrong for being upset with my husband with my husband because he doesn't want to help provide for my two kids that I had before we got married. He feel like I shouldn't come to him and asked for his help to provide for them. I thought that when you get married your husband suppose to be there for you and the kids no matter what. I just feel like I can't be with him because he doesn't wanna treat my kids the same as he treat his kids.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 20 July 2012 14:24 posted by Guest

    Renting from Step Dad: Hi.
    I need some help! My mom is leaving my dad next week (he has no idea yet)and I am renting from his townhouse. When my mom leaves him can he force me out of my house? We never made a lease because we were family but I have a feeling this is going to get ugly. I know I can not change the locks but can he come down and force me to leave my home? I am looking for a place to move too but I need to live there in the mean time..... Any advice on this would be great.

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 14 July 2012 09:30 posted by Guest

    That should be your husbands: That should be your husbands choice to make as it is his child. If you are having that many problems with him, then obviously you all haven't been taking the right approach to his behavior. He is 9 years old, and you are the parent. I think if you love your husband, then you should try to figure out what YOU are doing wrong to help your stepson.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 11 July 2012 12:07 posted by Guest

    Mother's boyfriend hitting children: I am the step-mother to 2 children, ages 8 and 4 who live out of state with their mother and her boyfriend. When my husband was picking up the children at the half-way point between our houses, the mother of the children had a long conversation with my husband telling him that her boyfriend who has been living with them for 2+ years has been spanking the children, slapping them and has been abusing her in front of them. She said she was going to break up with him and find a new place to live during the month we have them for visitation. My husband called her to check up on the situation because the children have been telling us numerous stories of the boyfriend spanking them, slapping them in the face, hitting them with belts calling them names and hitting their mother in front of them. She now says that she is going to stay with him because he has apologized and is getting his "meds" (i believe he is bipolar) fixed and swears he'll be better now. She said that its not a big deal that he spanks the children because he is home with them all day and has to be able to discipline them (he is unemployed and is with them 90% of the time alone). My husband and I are really worried for their safety and are already seeing the fall out of the psychological abuse (bed-wetting, won't eat, terrified of being in trouble, cries everyday at the thought of having to go home). We dont know what to do. We are afraid if we call CPS, that they won't be able to do anything because we have no physical proof, only what the mother and children have told us. We are also afraid that the mother will cut off contact again (she did not let my husband see or speak to his kids for a year after he filed for divorce from her) if we try to get CPS or courts involved. We have them for 10 more days before we have to bring them back. Please help!

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 11 July 2012 09:11 posted by Guest

    My stepdaughters biological: My stepdaughters biological father, who lives in Va, has been charged with 10 counts of Child pornoghraphy, and is out on bail, awaiting trial. it has been continued at least 3 times, with it ssupposed to start next month. Do my wife and I have any legal rights to be able tell people in Ohio what is going on with the court case? because his mother is trying to keep it quiet and not "tarnish his name". it was an 11 month case that went infront of a grand jury in Pulaski County, Va.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 09 July 2012 14:48 posted by Guest

    My husband has full custody: My husband has full custody of my stepson. He has lived with us for nearly three years now and we are still having trouble with him. The whole story is long and complicated, but three years ago his mother up and moved to Texas and wouldn't let him contact his father, wouldn't let his father contact him. We didn't know where they lived other than she had moved back in with her parents. She lied and told them that my husband told her the boy was not his so they all changed their phone numbers. While the child lived there he had little supervision, he was left home with a reckless 15 yr old uncle, he went to bed every night watching adult swim or playing video games, some of which were rated M. When they left, the boy was only 4, now he is 9. My husband obtained custody when he was 7. My husband and I have three boys of our own, ages 5, 3 and 1. I have seen my stepson physically hurt my boys, he has attitude like a teenager, he back-talks us and disobeys. Some of his behavior has rubbed off on my children over the past couple years and it worries me. My husband really hasn't let his mother or her family have much contact with him. He has begun complaining recently about never seeing them and wants to go to Texas for a month to visit. I know he will be allowed to do all the things he was before. His mother has bought this child air-soft guns and paintball guns, which I don't approve of for such young children. But she encourages his love of guns and even has boasted, "he's gun-crazy." My husband wants to let him go, I fear what he'll be like when he returns. And so my question is that I would like to know, as a step-parent, can I go to court and get him returned to his mother on a full-time basis so that my children are no longer around him and subjected to his treatment of this family? I have tried for nearly three years, with no help, to straighten him out. He told his mom he wants to live with her because he knows it's his only chance to get a PS3 with Black Ops (rated M) and a computer with internet. I no longer want him living full-time in my household so is there anything I can do to legally send him back to his mom?

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 09 July 2012 08:11 posted by Guest

    I am going thru same: I am going thru same situation, slightly differant. I am married to Bio father who has custody, Bio mom lost children because of drugs and alcohol, Bio mom has always encouraged children to call the step dad ' daddy and before him the boyfriends ' uncle', altho my husband and i parent together I am seen as not family, by the bio mom, I have never wished the children to call me mom, only wish we were all on same page for parenting and guiding the children, now teen and preteen. We have a family therapist who comes into the home now, we work things out I our home, I have accepted that I cannot control and do not want control what the Bio mom does when the children are with her. Personally, if your fiance is totally capable of handling the visits, court dates etc on his own,, still involves you when you are together, then take the time when he is busy with 'their stuff and go to the spa :-). Hardest thing I have learned is to let go, their 'history' is not a part of our beautiful present :-) . I have found that this step parenting can either make or break relationships with our partners and the children,, especially if one of the parties are not able to communicate in a healthy manner and keep the children's best interest first.
    The Bio mom, for her children's sake, really should look at your presence as a blessing, you are going to be a part of the children's life and that is your fiance's choice because of love, a good thing :-) I believe there is some major fear there, fear of not being able to control everything.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 25 June 2012 18:55 posted by Guest

    Living with stepdad: Hi, sorry I couldn't answer back right away. I finally was able to live with my stepdad. I begged my mom for days and she saw how depressed I was to the point where I had suicidal thoughts (yeah pretty scary but I'm happier now) and finally gave in so she let me come live with my stepdad but she recently tried to get child support from him and my stepdad got a lawyer and all he has to do is get a letter from me saying I don't want to live with my mom and all the things shes put me through in my life. Where just waiting for the court date and hopefully my stepdad will not have to pay child support and will be my legal gaurdian. Hope this helped in some way? I'm sorry if it wasn't much help but if you have any questions just feel free to ask me anything.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 19 June 2012 20:57 posted by Guest

    step kids..: ok so im a 24 year old male who just got into a relationship with a 34 year old woman who has 4 daughters the 2 oldest daughters is not the bio daughters of the guy my girlfriend is devorcing but he has the 2 youngest daughters he does have say so over them 2 but does he have say so over the 2 oldest daughters 12 and 15 who is not bio his?? he just got out the hospital for taking over 25 zanaxis trying to kill himself and wrote a suicide note and while he was in the hospital thts when things happend between his wife and i.. but he is very crazy and the 2 oldest daughters are scared because he keeps saying he is gonna make sure they cant date their bfs.. if they do he will have them locked up.. if im not mistaking he has no say so over them girls anymore now tht he is out of the house and no longer with their mother and in the middle of a devorce??? if someone can please write me back id deffently be in ur debt.. and maybe a website tht i can go to so i can show them to ease their minds.. please and thank you... :)

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 18 June 2012 12:04 posted by Guest

    Missouri Law : I am a mom and I am my ex husband lives in Arkansas and i live in Missouri. He is the one that moved out of State. We have joint custosdy of my 15 year old son. I have two questions to ask.
    The first one is that I just went on disablility for a brain surgery that I had but I can get around and take care of my son with no problems. I drive and take him to ballgames, school and etc.
    I am worried my ex husband is going to try and take him from me. I am not a unfit mother and I love my children very much. My daughter which goes to college in Arkansas stays with her dad on the some weekends during college and Summers. She does come to visit me.
    THe step mother isn't a very nice person. THey both have a drinking problem and I don't want my son in that enviroment. Every 4 weeks my son goes to visit they are out at a party and it's always around my son.
    I have pictures if I need them thank goodness for facebook.

    Another question I have is my attorney wants a list of things I spend every month on my child is there a certain list a judge looks for and the most money that I spend on him is baseball lessons and baseball, equipment, etc. They tell me you can't use that I guess because it's a sport??? I would think a judge would want a child into sports to keep a child out of trouble and not into drugs.

    I have one more questions, sorry I fight every month for my ex and his wife to pay their share of the medical bills. Is there another way to go through the courts so I don't have to deal with them every month. They are refusing not to pay some of my sons medicine and now I am going to have to pay the attorney bills just because they don't feel its right or him to be on it. It's because my ex husband wife is a nurse but she is a Orthopedic nurse not my son's doctor or nurse.

    Thank you
    Tonya Meyer

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 10 June 2012 09:14 posted by Guest

    enough drama enough with police at my door: I have endured my house is a drug house , my house is whore house letters of threats from the kids mother the last 4 visitations she called police over a football, because she couldn't talk to son after 11:30 pm had my cats removed Ive had to pull up carpets at my cost . When does the courts step in and cal this interfering in my home. were not married and I know mother has the right if she feels a child is being harmed but this mother has gone to the point where emotionally she has messed up her kids and now the fall out is on my 2 this mother has accused my moderately handicapped child of picking on her son. If you know anything about mentally challenge kids they don't under stand when your laughing at them teasing them in there world its wonderful . Iv e made a bold step this past weekend the child who has unresolved issues continued to be disrespectful as he know I say anything His mommy will have us in court or cops here . Im a prisoner in my own home my only fault is opening my home to allow his father a safe environment to visit with his kids. I will end this with I live in a security private community with its own fire and police I feel this is a safe and secure place. Its not a drug house its not a whore house I feel mother has unresolved bitter issues she is inflicting on anyone who she can she's ill. What rights do I have can I express this to the judge in the best interests of my kids my home and the people who live around me. Helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllp I resorted to the only right I have its my home yes dad lives her but Its my home. The child is not allowed back till he seeks professional help.

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 03 June 2012 00:26 posted by Guest

    NO you absolutely will NOT be: NO you absolutely will NOT be responsible for child support for step-children... provided you have not legally adopted them.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 01 June 2012 21:07 posted by Guest

    husband and his mom: My husband is in prison and his mom has gaurdianship of his son and he wants me to have his son but we don't know how to go about it his son is 8 and he has ask me if me could live with me but his grandmother wont sighn over rights to him what can i do to get him or can i do anything the lil boys mom can't have him because the state took all her kids from her and she can't have future kids or the state will take them as soon as they come out. please help me

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 31 May 2012 20:02 posted by Guest

    Doesn't matter if he didn't: Doesn't matter if he didn't know. If the child is his child he has a responsibility to provide for the child. He may be ableto get out of back child support because he did not know. However I would start paying some kind of child support and keep a record of it never in cash n get a DNA test. If it is his child and the Bio mom gets pissed off or spiteful she will try and get back child support.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 31 May 2012 15:53 posted by Guest

    Visitation with step children: My fiance has been having trouble with his ex girlfriend saying that he cannot have visitation with his daughter unless I am not there. She said I am not allowed to be in her daughters life just because she doesnt like me.

    My fiance has filed for joint custody and has an appointment for mediation with her but we are worried about whether or not after the mediation will she still have legal grounds to say I cannot be present during visitations.

    We live together and will be getting married in less than a year and the daughter already knows me but because the daughter has begun to build a relationship with me her mom has decided I'm not allowed to be there now. Can she do this? Will there be any courts in California who will actually grant her ridiculous request to not let me be around his daughter?

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 26 May 2012 21:24 posted by Guest

    It can still be state ordered: It can still be state ordered even though there is no public assistance. I live in New Mexico also and the guidelines here are pretty strict that support is ordered. He's not stopping your payments because he wants the money to help raise your child. If he's so terrible how did he get custody in the first place? Go get a job and support your son. It's that simple

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 25 May 2012 20:40 posted by Guest

    He is an immigrant - WRONG ANSWER: I hope you read the question you answered again. The bio mom did not want her child to be adopted by its biological father. She wants her child adopted by her present husband. She was not married to the bio father who lives in another country. So what is the point of a blood test that will only prove that the child is the bio of a person who lives in another country???

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 21 May 2012 22:40 posted by Guest

    abusive child, father defends her: My stepdaughter slugged me in the back several weeks ago and felt no need to apologize. I told her it would take me some time to get over this. She calss me everymame in the book and her father does nothing. She began shoving clothes into my rooms as I tried to shut the door and keep her out, and asked her get out as well. He mother who loves causing drama with the children against me took her to the ER and called CPS. I didn't do a thing to her. Her arm may have been in the door, but I did not see it, she insisted on pushing in, hitting my face about 20 times. I have bruises now. The police called me and asked for a statement which I gave them. (3days ago) My husband did nothing to take her away from the door. He now says I a danger to his child and if I do not move out of my house (joint owned) he will have me removed by the court. Can he do this? I own this house too and am disabled. I have no where to go. What should I do?

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 21 May 2012 22:36 posted by Guest

    abusive child, father defends her: My stepdaughter slugged me in the back several weeks ago and felt no need to apologize. I told her it would take me some time to get over this. She calss me everymame in the book and her father does nothing. She began shoving clothes into my rooms as I tried to shut the door and keep her out, and asked her get out as well. He mother who loves causing drama with the children against me took her to the ER and called CPS. I didn't do a thing to her. Her arm may have been in the door, but I did not see it, she insisted on pushing in, hitting my face about 20 times. I have bruises now. The police called me and asked for a statement which I gave them. (3days ago) My husband did nothing to take her away from the door. He now says I a danger to his child and if I do not move out of my house (joint owned) he will have me removed by the court. Can he do this? I own this house too and am disabled. I have no where to go. What should I do?

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 14 May 2012 15:51 posted by Guest

    severing biological mother's parental rights: My stepdaughter was removed from her biological mother's custody when she was 4 days old, and the Bio. Mother has not made any attempts to regain custody. When full custody was given to my husband (whom I am and was married to at the time), the courts decided that any right of visitation, etc. of the Bio mother was to be abolished until she appeared before the courts, put herself through rehab, etc. My stepdaughter (who is MY baby and calls ME mommy) turned 2 a couple months ago. The biological mother has not supported her financially or emotionally, and as mandated by the court, has had NO CONTACT. My question is this: how do we abolish all chances this woman has of ever seeing my daughter so that I can legally adopt her w/o the concerns of the biological mother's protests??

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 09 May 2012 18:06 posted by Guest

    Husband vs his ex-girlfriend : When I started dating my now husband he had told me that an ex was pregnant, she moved to a different state and he didn't know if it was his child. She moved back to our area shortly afterward and would contact him about going to dr appts and ultrasounds and he didn't feel comfortable going. When she had the baby, she called him after she got out of the hospital and he did go to see her. He asked for a paternity test and she denied it saying she knew he was the dad and didn't need proof. He said he wasn't going to support the baby until he knew it was his. He never went back to see her. The ex waited until the child was almost 2 before she got a court order for him to get a paternity test. He is the father. He now pays child support, and has gets supervised visits (her request) every Sunday for 2 hours. He has become very attached to his daughter and she adores him. He wants to see her more and take her on his own. The court agreement was 'supervised til daughter comfortable to be alone with him.' He has been seeing her for about 6 mths and we found out she still does not know he is her father. As his ex put it 'you are nothing but a playdate to her', but then contradicts herself by saying 'she has the right to know who her blood family is'. His mother has been babysitting her recently as well and she knows her as gramma. His daughter calls her mother's fiance dad. My questions: when can he tell her that he is her father? how can he go about seeing her more, unsupervised?

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 24 April 2012 16:50 posted by Guest

    simple question!!!!: my brother in law has been struggling with his 4 kids for about 7 years (since the mom left them to go party life) and now that he has a new fiance and 2 kids with her the Bio mom of the 4 came back to cause drama taking him to court for the smallest thing, (even when the oldest girl wanted to wear make up at age 12) he is loosing jobs for missing due to court and the mom just wont quit making him problems, the fiance wants to get married but she is scared the the MOM wont ever leave them alone, and she wants to know if they do get married does she have any right to the 4 kids when disciplining them or puniching them, because when she tries to the kids tell her "my mom said you cant say anything or do anything to us, or you will go to jail" and when the MOM picks up the kids from the house she is screaming and cussing at the fiance and cops have to be called and by the time cops get there she is gone so they dont do anything against the mom, since she is not in the scene anymore.... can the fiance do anything to protect her 2 kids and her self from the MOM's lies and drama... other than a restraining order... that didt work,,, she would follow her to school whendropping all the kids in school and cause drama in school... the mom once said that she will rather see her kids with uncles or grandmas than with the fiance,... makes no sence but yet the court is still on her side....

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 21 April 2012 23:31 posted by Guest

    Help-safety of my son from step-son: my husband and i have been together 4 1/2 years. last 11/11 i found my 9 yr old step-son molesting my 8 yr son. and he had been for a few months. the police in our city got involved and the city were my step-kids live got involved and did an investigation. they both said that since it was not a crime in the state (Kansas) that we live in till the child is 10 yrs old that no charges could be filed. they turned the case over to Child Protective services and they interviewed everyone involved and we were told that they would make a recommendation to the courts on what needed to happen. we immediately put my son into therapy the next day, however my husbands ex-wife is in denial and the perpetrator is not in counseling. my husband's children are court ordered to come to our house every other weekend from Friday night to Sunday evening. as a band-aid on the situation we have been sending my son to my mother's house 1 hr away on the weekends they are there but that cannot continue. plus, we are coming up on summer where the visitation agreement states that the children have over every other week for the whole week and we cannot send my son to my mom's for that long all summer. it is just not possible. Child Protective services never made any kind of recommendation to the courts and my son is falling through the cracks. i don't think it is fair to have to send my son away from his only home every other weekend when they come over. we even thought about my husband taking the kids to a hotel for the weekends that they are supposed to come over but that is not financially possible. his ex-wife is not being at all flexible on visitation. i need to know what my options are to keep them out of my house to keep my son safe. and who do i contact with in the court system to get this issue addressed.

    Any advise would be much appreciated.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 20 April 2012 23:47 posted by Guest

    re-connecting bond with stepdaughter: I have a stepdaughter whom i 've been taking care of since she was 3mths old.Our relationship was fine up until when she turned 2.That i started blocking my feelings because of her dad(my bf).He had this other girl in which use to call my phone,my job with accusations that she was in a relationship with my bf.When i would question him he would deny it.Saying im the one he comes home to.Which had me feeling like i was being used.I continued to take care of his daughter(my stepdaughter).She is 4yrs old now almost 5.She adores me to death and knows me as mommy.Doesn't know her bio mom i'm the only mother figure she knows.I am still maternal to her just not emotional.We go shopping,i enrolled her in ballet and we spend alone time.But regardless of what i do i cant seem to get the emotional feelings for her.Somehow i know she is sensing it.Especially since her dad and i have our own child together.Our son is almost 2.She sees the the affection given to him by both her dad and i.I want to reconnect the bond i had with her from when she was a baby.I am really trying and i dnt want to scar her emotionally in future.Especially if we are gonna be a family.What i do to work on our relationship(stepdaughter)?

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 12 April 2012 15:37 posted by Guest

    Stepparent's rights: I have a question regarding a stepparent's rights. I understand that legally, my son's stepfather (my husband)has no rights. When my son started kindergarten (he's now 10) we shared physical custody, until my son ended up with so many tardies in the first 3 months of school that the school was considering taking him to court.

    I've had primary physical custody for 5 years, and while my son sees his biological father on the weekends, he has removed himself in every other way. We have offered opportunities for my ex-husband to participate in my son's extracurricular activities, doctor's appointments, school conferences, and have left an open policy for him to visit him on weeknights. He has never taken advantage of this.

    We currently have a verbal child support agreement, but after a couple of years of receiving money late every month, I decided to go to court. He was being asked to pay about $200 under Virginia child support guidelines for his income. Since he found out that I was taking him to court, he stopped paying child support altogether and I haven't received it for 3 months. My son is on my husband's health insurance policy, we pay for everything, from the essentials to putting money away for college. My husband is emotionally and financially supportive to my son, and his biological father decided that his stepfather has no right to sit in on any mediation sessions because it's "between us".

    My husband wants to become a legal guardian (without taking any rights from his biological father). Is that even possible if his biological father opposes the idea? If we can prove his stepfather's committment and contributions to the child's well being, and his biological father's obstinance, lack of responsibility and support, will a judge still just toss it out if the biological father says he is against it? There is also concern that if something would happen to me, my husband would have no recourse to gain custody. If my ex had it his way, I'm convinced he would cut my husband out of my son's life completely. I understand his jealousy of the bond they've created over the years, but his father doesn't really do anything to try to make their bond any stronger. My husband has helped to provide a stable home for my son, and works very hard to support him. His biological father moves every 3-6 months, rents rooms from people I don't know, and my son hasn't had his own bedroom at his father's house in years. I would like to work things out amicably, but I want to make sure my son is spared the instability in which his father seems to be completely content.

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 07 April 2012 13:54 posted by Guest

    The 16 year old has spent: The 16 year old has spent Fri-Sun and all vacations with his mom and family. She did not give him up, she sacrificed for him. I completely understand what you are saying and see your point of view. However, my friend is his mother and wants to continue to raise him. She says why would anyone ever think I would give my child away? The stepmother is not a disciplinarian, but more of a friend and roommate. She is by no means evil and very sweet. There are also legal issues to which only the legal parent would be responsible for. As far as your situation, a word of warning and I don't know if this is state by state, but it is true in our state: If something were to happen to your husband, and you, personally, do no have legal guardianship, even if the bio-mother has had no contact what-so-ever, the child goes to the bio-mom. This is very sad. I appreciate your comment and thank you. This is a tough deal.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 05 April 2012 19:12 posted by Guest

    16 yr old: I disagree, the child is 16 and has been living in this home for the past 3 years. He just lost his father, why in the word if he wants to stay and the step mom wants him to would anyone uproot him and cause more grief? I think some people forget not all step parents are evil. We have full custody of my stepdaughter and I feel like she is my daughter. If her father would pass we have already discussed and she wants to stay with me. Why is that wrong?

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 02 April 2012 16:30 posted by Guest

    Stepmoms right in lieu of death: My best friends ex-husband died 3 weeks ago in a car accident. His wife is 7 months pregnant. My friends son, 16 years old, has been living 5 days a week with his father and stepmom for three years. This arrangement was made so that the bio-mom and her husband could have him on weekends and vacations so he could travel and race cross country MX. In doing so, this was a huge sacrifice for the bio-mom, but the son went on to win the Youth Championship, which was a huge victory.

    Now the stepmom doesn't want to let go of the 16 year old and keeps influencing him to stay with her. The son is now taking his grief ALL out on mom, who just wants her son back. The son wants to continue the 5 day a week schedule. We feel he should not stay with a 38 year old pregnant stepmom and borders on inappropriate.

    Is there any legal recourse on either side?

    Thank you for any advise.

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 25 March 2012 00:17 posted by Guest

    Step children and my rights as a step mom: My step-daughter is 3 years old and currently lives in NC with her bio mom. She just recently took us out for 282$ a month. My husband is a Lcpl in the USMC, so funds are tight as it is. Well, as of today she is no longer allowing my in-laws to see Jordan (step-daughter) She cut all ties with everyone in the family and she will not contact anyone. Were thinking now that she got what she wanted from my husband and I she just wants to use us for our money (that we know Jordan wont see) and take care of her little boyfriend. Jordan is hardly under the care of her mother. Her mother always sends her to her aunts house who is on drugs and drinks all the time. What can I do as a step mother (as my husband is recently deployed, and my mother-in-law and I do have POA over everything). Can I file for emergency custody? there are multiple cases open with DSS and CSP on the mother, grandmother and siblings. The conditions that this child are living in are not the best and there are things that go on there that I am positive we don't know a thing about. What can I do? I need to get this little girl to a safe place so she is no longer sick and endangered.... HELP PLEASE!!

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 22 March 2012 00:48 posted by Guest

    Child Support: My ex-husband has both our children (10 & 5) I only get to see my daughter Saturdays from 10am -12pm. My son does not like to come here. (We had a nasty divorce when he was 2, and he prefers to stay with dad). I signed an agreement that I would start paying child support in June 2012. Here is the question: I am married now and have two more children and I am the only one working. I pay all the bills, including a car payment, rent, utilities and diapers for both of my babies. My ex-husband is going to expect something.....how do I calculate what I will be needing to pay him?

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 19 March 2012 01:31 posted by Guest

    Step parents and childsuport: I am married to a great man and father. We have 2 children together and I have 2 children from a previous relationship (we were never married). My ex like many others did not become interested in this kids lives until I was married. In doing so has really messed up our happy home. I do not know what he has told my oldest 2 during court ordered visitation, but my oldest who is 8 almost 9 has started lashing out. He refuses to do his chores ( pick up dirty clothes when taken off, make bed, and occasionaly wash dishes with me and feed his dog). He has begun lying, and stealing. He has also started making threats to his younger siblings that he is going to kill them while every one is asleep. He has been to a theraipist but has not helped. He is on medication for ADHD and is close to being maxed out and ready for a new RX. I have decided that it would be best that I reliquish my physical custodial rights (flip the situation) and let their father keep them in his house hold. So, my question is in doing so would my husband have to pay child support for 2 children that are not his because I have no income? My ex is on disability and so are my children.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 19 March 2012 00:57 posted by Guest

    Your kids: If there is no standing court order for visitation you can leave the state. By experiance it is better to leave the state before he wises up and seeks out I've been and still am in your shoes just hind sight is 20-20.

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 17 March 2012 03:27 posted by Guest

    Step-daughter moved back with bio mom: So my step-daughter moved back with her mom because she did not like the fact that her dad(my hubby) were looking out for her (we found out she was doing drugs). Well my hubby recently go off child support, and he became the custodial parent, well now that she moved back with her mom, can he get put back on child support?

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 14 March 2012 22:18 posted by Guest

    My Kids: I just got married to a wonderful man and he is leaving for ARMY basic training soon and will be back in the end of September or beginning of October and then we are supposed to leave two weeks after that to where ever he will be stationed but our problem is that i had two beautiful kids with a moron who does not ever see them or have anything to do with them in fact my daughter is almost two and my son is only 5 months and neither have seen him that much.. my son has only met him like 2x's. he has not wanted anything to do with them until he found out that we got married. so do i have to have his permission to take my kids outta state or can i just leave??

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 13 March 2012 11:24 posted by Guest

    Usually 14 is the age of: Usually 14 is the age of consent in most places. You should talk to your step-dad first, and then have him go to family court. As long as he is a fit parent and you are at the age of consent where you fully understand what you are asking for they should be able to place you with him. It would probably be a little easier if he had adopted you but you still may be able to.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 13 March 2012 11:20 posted by Guest

    You shouldn't have to giver: You shouldn't have to giver her part of your pay for step-children. As long as they are not legally your children meaning you adopted them that is, their biological and legal father should already be paying. The base pay should depend on how long you were married. Any good lawyer could get you out of alimony depending on the length you were married as well as what your state laws are. Example being if you suspect cheating or she moved out to some other guy's place, as long as your state does not have a no-fault law then you wouldn't have to pay her a dime. If you have a mortgage on the house talk to them about a loan modification, you may have to refinance to get her name off the house, they will want your divorce decree. If it is base housing you should be able to talk with a financial advisor or base should have some help for that.

    Good luck. And talk to a lawyer either military based or whatever state you live in.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 12 March 2012 22:54 posted by Guest

    Step-daughter, what age to decided were to live?: how old does a child have to be to decided who she wants to live with. My husband has a 7yr old lovely daughter who i claim as my own of course, and we have 2 children of our own.
    Needless to say she does not have the best home life, we live in IN and she lives in AZ with her mother (we have 50/50). Her mother i do believe loves her but she needs help.

    She is constantly telling us how she wants to live with us instead, and thats her wish. That she could just stay with us and be with her sissy and bubby. I feel horrible having to say no

    My her and my husband were never married, and we have started all the court stuff about 3yrs ago. we finally started getting it into court last year, and even with all the evidence we had, they decided that she stay with the mother unless on the next report she messes up, then we get her. well ever since then the mother has been lying low and telling her daughter to fib to us about what goes on.

    Anyways, she constantly askes us and wants us to come get her. Is there anything we can do to let her speak to the courts. i know that courts do everything to keep a child out but she really needs to be heard. We have had people speak on her behalf (babysitters, etc) and it was like they ignored them. help??

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 12 March 2012 22:46 posted by Guest

    he could actually get into trouble: here is the thing. You could actually keep record of how often he calls and does not, you could turn it into the courts. He could recieve less time spent with the children because he is not building a personal relationship. It will actually look very poorly upon him for not calling (personal exp.) and will look good on you for the time you did have them call. (the judge will NOT look down on you bc you didnt have them call, it is HIS responsibility).
    Also if he does not pay child support, please dear do not hesitate to turn it in. you have to wait 3months or so after it is ordered (they give them a period of time to start the payments) and if not started then they will legally withdraw it from his check. whether it be his work check, ss, or w/e form of money he recieves. and make sure that you let the courts know how often you have the children and such and it could up your child support payment. if he refuses, then you could ask for him to sign his rights over meaning he would not get to see the children as long as you are finacially fit. which could mean he may not have to pay child support, BUT would have to pay back support. As long as you get someone for child support before the child is the age of 18 you can retrieve it. you need to get what you deserve

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 12 March 2012 22:36 posted by Guest

    he is an immigrant: here is the thing, he is here illegally. so it may be more difficult. what you need to to is have an actually blood test done. not the home ones that you can send it, but an actual court ordered blood test. The moment it says the child is his, the name is changed to the fathers last name. it does not matter if you are together or not. if he willingly takes the blood test thats great or you will have to have the court order him to do it which will take time. good luck

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 12 March 2012 22:33 posted by Guest

    hi: well i live in the state of Indiana, and unless you have alamony(probally spelled that wrong), then no she shouldnt get half od your base pay. She can take you to court to split your belonging and the courts may decided diffrent, but unless there is alamony were you live then no. and you do not have to pay for her children as long as you did not adopt them. if they have your last name then yes you have to, if you signed anything that went through the courts and such that you legally claimed them as yours (taxes do NOT count). then no you do not have to pay for those children. if the birth father is still around for those children he has to take care of them even if he isnt, you do not.

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 10 March 2012 16:42 posted by Guest

    Child Support: I am the bio mom of a 13yr old. Hi father recently got custody in the state of Missouri. Aug of 2011. I dont work and i rely on my husbands income. I live in New Mexico, bio dad is wanting me to pay him 230.00 a month, he never had anything to do with our son untill he was 10 yrs old and I am asking him to stop the child support. I dont work and dont have that kind of money. He did pay child support for a few yrs at 50.00 a month. He is trying to tell me that it is state ordered even though he is not receiving any form of state assistance. I called and stopped his assistance why cant he stop mine?....

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 07 March 2012 17:22 posted by Guest

    step daughter is out of control and has major behavior problems: I have lived with my fiance for almost a year now and since day one his daughter has been out of control. She has physically abuse both of her parent's and has went to Juvenile Hall for this. She is always verbally abusing them and will not do one thing for herself. We have had nothing but problems with her. She and her Mother had fabricated a story to try and get her Father put in jail from CPS. They investigated and found their claims to be unfounded. If she washes one dish she must be paid for it. She is constantly trying to extort money from both parents. We have set rules at our house which is a constant battle as she feels she is the princess!! Under no circumstances is she going to work as she says why should Mom gives me money. Her Mother has no set rules the daughter tells her to F off and goes and does what she wants. She is also for some reason saying that if she doesn't come over for her visitations with her Father that her Mother will get more child support from him. Why this is her concern is beyond me. I've tried to reasonably talk to this child with no results and the same for her Father. She could care less what we tell her.
    This last Sunday was the straw that broken my camels back. She's always telling tall stories and lies about pretty much everything. Takes NO responsibility for any of her actions. She woke up Sunday throwing her usual temper tantrum and said she was sick but her Mother would not take her to the Doc. as she didn't want to pay the $20.00 co pay and that she had been sick all week. She is always sick with something and I mean always. She and her Mother self diagnosis her with anything from severe arthritis to bladder infection one a month strep throat ect. you name she has it!! Anyway we were having a family and friend get together that afternoon. My fiance could not believe her Mother ignored her and since she's always sick it is like the little boy who cried wolf. Of which we re read that story to her again. He took her to the ER at a $100.00 co pay after an hour of her throwing a tantrum. She had no fever which is almost always accompanied by a bladder infection. Got that all squared away and got her home. She went around to everyone that was there trying to get some sympathy from someone and didn't get any pretty much everyone tired of her crap. When everyone left she started in on her Father verbal abuse first and then made up a fabricated lie that I had cussed at her. My oldest daughter who is 29 was standing next to me when I asked her to quit her whining as that was all we heard from her since she woke up. I confronted her on her lie and she told me I was lying. So now that the whole family knows what she's pulled she said she's not coming back over ever!! And that her Dad will have to pay her Mother more money. Is this true we have alot of documentation of this child's behavior problems and the Mother can not control her either. Do you know if this is true? I can't see why a judge would award the Mother more child support because the daughter has behavior issues?? We've ask that the child get some counseling as she is very bitter about the divorce. Help!!

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 07 March 2012 09:34 posted by Guest

    i have a 6 year old her daddy: i have a 6 year old her daddy walk out on us when i was 2 mouths i did everything i can to find him after that two years ago he came in her life and we want to court and they take the child suppot back to when she was born so sorry to say yes she can but the court will do a dna be for they do any thing

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 06 March 2012 04:30 posted by Guest

    Have you told your stepdad: Have you told your stepdad how you felt? Maybe you can call your local family court and find out what is ( if there is any process) for legally being able to live with someone other than your biological parents. I am sorry I can't give much advice but I understand your pain. Keep communicating your unhappiness to your mother and speak to your stepdad and tell him you want to be with him you are very unhappy. I wish you the best of luck and remember you won't be 14 forever. I remember being your age and wishing i could live with my grandmother and now I am 25 years old, it will be okay!

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 29 February 2012 16:14 posted by Guest

    Responsibilities During devorce with step kids...: Long story short.. I just got back from Afghanistan 3 weeks ago and I came home to divorce papers and an empty house. The Military says that I have to give her part of my base pay. The question that I have is am I legally responsible to support my soon to be ex step kids?
    I still have a house payment that is 4 months behind and still due. and other bills that I need to pay. I don't make enough money to give her 3/4 of what I make... and catch up on all the bills and money that she spent before I got home. Please help.....
    Thanks

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 27 February 2012 08:12 posted by Guest

    You know that right there is: You know that right there is why so many step-families have problems because people like you don't want your children to grow close to another woman, because you're threatened. you little wench.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 27 February 2012 07:29 posted by Guest

    Do you realise you have been: Do you realise you have been with your husband for ten years and you have a stepdaughter who is seven? I think you're the last person anyone should get advice from.

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 26 February 2012 12:32 posted by Guest

    I want to live with my stepdad.: Hi, When I was still an infant my bio dad was never really in my life and things got hard between my bio mom and my dad so she divorced him. Few years later my bio mom marrys someone else. My stepdad raised me since I was about around the age of 1 years old. I am now 14 years old. He has basically raised me my whole life and watched me grow up. My bio mom left my stepdad for another guy and now lives with him. I now live with my bio mom and her bf and im not happy and dont want to be there anymore. But my mom will not let me live with my stepdad she says that he is not my "real" dad, I understand that Im just not happy living with my bio mom. I feel like my life is over and I have nothing life for. Can I choose to live with my stepdad? I still would like for my bio mom and my bio dad to be my bio parents, but I would like to live with my stepdad. My 6 year old stepsister and my 23 year old bio brother and his girlfriend also live there.
    Please help me I want to be happy.
    I also understand this website is for divorved wives but i really need an adults help and couldnt find anywhere to look for help. Thank you for reading or caring.

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 25 February 2012 18:24 posted by Guest

    father didn't know he had a 9 year old: The first thing the courts will look at is if a paternity test has been done to prove the father then the birth certificate will be amended to that effect. Keep in mind his name being there or not has no Bering on child support just the DNA. If he is the father, the court may want to apply back support. This will be up to the judge as to how much depending on both parties income. Make sure you bring the receipts that prove you help with expenses since you found out, however there is 9 years of expenses that you didn't know about. My advice, get a good lawyer and make sure you get paperwork for visitation.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 24 February 2012 19:28 posted by Guest

    Complicated: Hi,I am the biological mother of 10yr old boy.The biological father is back home in my country but we are not married.My question is my son just got here in the US as an immigrant and my husband wanted to adopt him so his last name will be the same like his stepbrother and stepsister but we don't know where to start or what kind of paper works do we need to begin with.. please help....thank u in advance...

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 24 February 2012 18:50 posted by Guest

    No, it's not your: No, it's not your responsibility to maintain HIS relationship with HIS children. You have so much more on your plate. With worrying about their well being to boot. Calling on his own accord is the very LEAST he could do. He does not get to take liberties because he pays support, he should pay support. Even if he had no contact the state would go after him for support because he should be providing for his children. Do not let this man run your life, intimated you or make you feel guilty in anyway. Don't chase him down to make plans for the kids either. If he wants to see his kids he needs to figure out how to make that happen. All I mean is let him be the one to bring it up. He either works with you or he doesn't see them. You have responsibilities you can't walk away from to be accommodating to him! I am sure you are doing the best you can. It's perfectly fair to expect him to carry his weight and maintaining relationships with his children is apart of that. You are not obligated in this way. From one used to be single Mom to another, you are not obligated to make him be a better Dad. You just have to take care of the kids, get them what they need, and do your damnest not to speak ill of their Father. One day the kids will get it and will see everything you did for them and how their Dad couldn't be bothered. Hang in their Love!

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 23 February 2012 13:23 posted by Guest

    I wish you well: Hi my name is Maria Martinez and I am the stepmother when my stepdaughter was little she would cry a lot and act like a brat sometimes I felt like I couldn't take any but that is our responsibility to have patient and understanding in one ocation my stepdaughter came to me crying and told me that her maternal grandmother told her I did not love her because she was in my daughter and I replied to her I am not your mother there had you in my stomach but I am your mother because I have you in my heart and I learned that being is that mother is the same as being a biological mother becomes with hardship and happiness with patients and losing which Trion's and faults I know that you love your father but sit down talk to him in a serious way and tell him what you're feeling tell him that you do not want to live him but the situation the you are in needs to have a control for the sake of your relationship with him and your relationship which her stepmother and if you feel that your relationship which her biological mother is also hard for you talked to both of your parents and now you have to be the of the adults and make a decision try your best talk and hopefully they will come to their senses I wish you well and I will pray for you sincerely Maria Martinez stepmother also

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 23 February 2012 12:51 posted by Guest

    step mother needs hepl: Hi my name is Maria Martinez and I am the was, but. Mazama The stepmother of a beautiful 6 years old little girl I been in her life since she was one throughout the years it has been a constant custody battle between the biological mother and my husband. My stepdaughter has suffered many medical conditions and I have been always the one to take her to her doctors to bring her in to to her doctors pay for her medical treatment even after my stepdaughter having free medical insurance every time my stepdaughter comes home she comes complaining of some medical condition and waits until I am off for work so I could take her to the ER last year she suffer seven UTIs one occasion she was hospitalized my stepdaughter knows the she can count on me in many occasions she tells her biological mother but she will always reply to my stepdaughter I don't have the time right now Melissa that my stepdaughter stated to me and that's why she will come to me because she knows I will hear her and be there for her the biological mother has always neglect my stepdaughter. In February of 2011 my husband modify the core order so that my stepdaughter can begin therapy since the beginning I have participated to every session and now that my husband has filed to modify the core order the biological mother has for bit me from participating she wrote a legal document made by her attorney to for the me to participate in any stepdaughter session I feel that she's doing this out of hate she has towards me in another time my husband modify the core order to allow me to pick up my stepdaughter and what did she do to retaliate against that she tried to put a restraining order against stating that I was being a threat to her and her children of course the judge denied that to her and stated that she was just using to get back to me. My husband is seeking now to have 50% physical custody he now has 25 % but share 50% legal.
    the therapist diagnose my stepdaughter with depression and insomnia in 2011 after several attempts by the therapist and my husband they were able to convince the biological mother to allow my stepdaughter to come during her summer vacations to our house 50% of the time during her summer vacation, we went three times a week with the therapist because the mother was stating that it was a drastic change in my stepdaughter's life and it would affect her mentally nothing, but nothing like that happened my stepdaughter was so happy during her summer vacations her self-esteem proved, she was very happy I want to know if a biological parent has the right to deny a step parent to participate the place where my stepdaughter is going for therapy for my husband stated to him that there is a law that biological parents b can denied or choose who can or cannot participate in the sessions I feel destroy, my heart torn apart in 2 I love my stepdaughter and I always had treated her like one of my own and I feel really bad that she has to go to this I wish that her biological mother can understand the pain that she's causing to my stepdaughter can you please help me

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 23 February 2012 09:26 posted by Guest

    No advice? About father: No advice? About father didn't know he have a son over 9 years

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 23 February 2012 02:42 posted by Guest

    hi: No he should be making a effort if he really wants a relationship with his kids he should be doing everything in his power to see them.. its not that hard for him to mark it down to call his kids or something. I had split up parents and my dad had custody of us and he tried to do everything in his power so my mom could see us but she wasn't making any effort so he gave up and put it in her court.. and she tried but she didn't have a car or anything but also sometimes she didn't try. Sometimes it'll be better. To just stop trying and just raise your children and wait till your kids are 18 and let them make their choices on if they want the dad to be in. Their lives or not. Hope this could help you any questions just reply back

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 22 February 2012 21:45 posted by Guest

    Is it my responsibility?: Hi,

    I have a situation I could use some advice on. My ex husband lives in another state and unfortunately doesn't get to see our children very often, usually only school holidays due to the distance and his job. He doesn't call them on his own, it's usually to return one of their calls or our kids calling him. Just recently I decided to hold him accountable for the back child support he owes and he is now insisting that I make the kids call him on a set day every week. I've always told him he can call the kids whenever he wants after work (when we're home) or on the weekends but he hasn't done that until now and even now he'll text me first telling me to have them call him. I know I should try to remember to have them call him but we get busy too and sometimes I am just so overwhelmed with all the daily things I have going on that I forget. Things like work, homework for 3 kids, dinner, laundry, housework etc. Our kids are 10 and 9 (twins) and it's not like they remember to call him either, they get just as distracted on the weekends playing with their friends. I feel like he's putting too much pressure on all of us to remember something that shouldn't be that difficult for him to do if he wants to maintain a decent relationship with them, he's the adult after all. Am I wrong and should I figure out a way to remind myself to do this for him? Or should he put forth some more effort? - side note for the last year I've driven the kids all the way to his house and all the way home (5 hrs one way) and he's supposed to meet me halfway and he always has a reason as to why he can't so it's not like I haven't been making an effort to do what I can as far as everything else is concerned.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 21 February 2012 21:38 posted by Guest

    father didn't know he have a son after 9 years...: My husband found out he have a 9 years old son(now he is 10), the mother told him she is not trying to hurt us, me and my husband and that she want nothing from us like child support. We told her we will help for his needs. My husband name is not on birth certificate also. A year later, she now want a child support. We do not undertand why she want child support for what...we helped and paid for things he need. We are expecting a girl and me as a wife are not working due to health issue. Can she make us pay child support after 9 years we didn't know he have a son? I kept all the reciepts just in case. We both want to be part of his life. He went through horrible time when he was 5 years old was badly abused by her ex boyfriend. He broke his collarbone and had bruises all over. We were really hurt to hear what happened to him... I do not want to go through fighting. I really want all of us to get along for this boy sake.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 21 February 2012 13:54 posted by Guest

    support for pregnant step daughter: If a 17 y/o who resides with bio mom in florida becomes pregnant, is my husband still responsible for paying child support for her? What about her unborn child?

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 20 February 2012 06:44 posted by Guest

    step child wants to divorce bio mom so step mom can adopt: I am 12 1/2 step son and have sister 7 1/2 . We have asked bio mom to sign rights away so my mom can adopt us.(step mom) She is the only real mom we have ever had. She has had us Since April 19,2008. Please Help me!

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 20 February 2012 05:57 posted by Guest

    BIO MOM W/OUT RIGHT PENDING COURT ORDER DEAD BEAT MOM: I am the step mom and have raised my step daughter from age 3 ,she is 7 1/2 and step son was 8 now 12 1/2 . We made a huge mistake by letting her see her Sept. because my son wanted to see her. My daughter on there hand didn't have any desire. So the only way I agreed to it was for me to go as a supervised visited. So we did it a few time times and everything was fine. Until the holidays came around. Then she wanted them there with out me. So big mistake my husband let them go . Thanksgiving I got calls from my little one begging me to come get her. I told them about it so they put the phones up so she couldn't call any more! She came home saying she didn't want to go back for Christmas except to get her presents then she want to come home and bring them home. Then she said she didn't like her that she was mean and she already had a mommy and it wasn't her. She was tired of her talking bad of me. The bio mom had hacked my face book and my step son's. She was sending messages to herself and printing them and showing them to the kid's and telling the kid's that it was me posing as him. I was never able to recover his page. Or his e-mail so I reported it hacked and closed it . Thanksgiving my little girl was injured by her dog he had bit her face and left scabs and scars. She the bio mom didn't contact us about it either. The Christmas visit she was hit by a car .She didn't get any medical attention. Or any police report. She didn't call us about her. It happened on a Sat. afternoon and I got her back sunday night late and she was in pain. I asked her why she was in pain and she told me what happend. I checked her body over and took her to the ER and got her checked and let her tell her side and They had the cop take statement .She got worse after we got there. They ran several testing and every time she spoke of her{bio mom} her heart rate went extremely high . They said that we were to file a police report asap and to not let the children return back. So we haven't . But she has crossed state line and came her trying to come get them. She even went as far as getting my mom's cell phone # off the computer and called her 3 times. She also told my little one a secrete not to tell any one , that doesn't like her son,my son 14yrs old,my girl11,my girl 10 and me. That she only cared about her the 7 year old. That she would take them and get rid of her son. That scares me because she has tried to kill her self 4 times in the past , during the divorce time period .She stay in a suicide watch for 72 hours until all the drugs were out of her system. Then had to be on retinue medicine for now on. But I don't think she is taking it now. She Acts Like She is bipolar ! Any advice?

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 20 February 2012 03:54 posted by Guest

    concerned and scared: You are not alone , I am the step mom . I will share my story with you. Please be very cautious. That they are coming around now. You will see why after you read what I have gone through. When my husband went to divorce her she didn't even want the kid's . She hid from the law and it took a year of process servers trying to find her and posting it in the the paper to get it done. She also kidnapped the kid's just to hurt my husband.
    Then she broke into our house and stole my stuff and trashed our house then called child protective services saying my son had molested her daughter that was 4. He wasn't even living there at the time. My dad was ill and I let him go live with his dad so he could be closer. When they came to our house of course they couldn't find anything wrong. So that was strike one for her on false report. Then after my dad died we moved into the house to finish pay it off and she was stalking me. The divorce went through and she was to pay child support which she still hasn't and the Judge ordered no visitation until a clean hair drug screen is done. Thus far has not been done. She has not been done. She has tried to kill her self 4 times. I have sent her picture's of her kid's. I have send her report card grades. I have tried to be nice . But she hasn't changed. I have my little girl since she was 3 and my son since he was 8 and they were starving for a mother . I also have my son he is 14, and daughter 11 fixing to be 12 next month and my other one 10 . Yes we have 5 beautiful children. I count the all as mine! ages now 14,12,11,10,7 My pride and joy! My husband's ex- thinks she is going to take my baby from me ! But I will fight tooth and nail to keep my babies. The last time they went to see her my little one was hit by a car and the bio mom did nothing and no medical attention ,no phone call, no police report. so no more visitation. No contact until we can go to court . They say 6 months to a year . I will Barry her for all the charger's

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 20 February 2012 02:15 posted by Guest

    Get a Power of Attorney for: Get a Power of Attorney for your husband that gives you permission to be involved in your stepson's education. The school has to talk to you then. My husband is in the military and we got one so I could communicate with my step-children's school if my husband was unavailable to do so due to his military service. His ex wife refuses to share information with him and when she does, she lies about it. She tells us the children are doing well, best in their class, etc and then we find out they are having trouble in certain subjects or are having behavioral problems, etc. They are in another state and it took us a whole year of asking for info on what school the kids even attended before we just started calling and faxing the court order to every school in the school district until we found the right one because she refused to even tell us what school the kids went to despite several requests over the phone, email and texts to her and her husband. My husband has 50% custody of his children and is entitled to their schooling info.

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 19 February 2012 04:20 posted by Guest

    not getting along with step mom: I am 15 years old and i live with my dad and step mom. Most recently my step mom and I haven't gotten along very well. The other day i had rehearsal for a play i was doing for my school, and she didnt get the message that i was going to stay after track practice and not go home. she comes into the theatre and takes me outside and starts yelling at the top of her lungs. i am a very quiet person who doesn't stand up for themselves very easily so i just stood there and took it. she telling me hoe i never care about anyone but myself i'm always screw my family and go hang out with my friends. she sis this for about ten minutes straight, after she drove off i fell to the ground balling my eyes out starting an anxiety attack. before any of this happened i did call my dad to let him know that i was staying. i tried to call her but it went straight to voicemail and somwhow that is my fault. after i calmed down a little bit i called my mom who lives across the country and said that i want out of here i feel unwanted. now my stepmom won't even talk to me let alone look at me because i said i wanted to leave. i don't want o leave my dad i want to leave her and i because i need my real mom. i don't know what to do . should i go live with my mom, stay here or look into amancipation? i just can't take it anymore.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 16 February 2012 21:54 posted by Guest

    If she wants to and the kids: If she wants to and the kids want to I would let them see each other! Think of it this way, you love your kids so don't you think everyone loves them. The more people that are with them and treat them right and show them love the better off they will be.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 16 February 2012 20:17 posted by Guest

    my ex went to jail and girlfriend thinks shes entitled to visits: hello im a mom and step mom for many years now. my ex and myself have childen together. i have had primary with him having partial. well he went to jail and wont be home for several years. my lawyer said i automatically have been granted sole custody and its at my discretion whether to allow the kid to visit with thie gfriend. i need advice please.
    as far as being a stepmom ive raised my stepchid since age 4 and the ex wife still cannot accept me doing things for him. shes a whacko though.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 16 February 2012 20:11 posted by Guest

    Step mom facing hostility help: No you have every right to be part of that child's life. From what it seems parent have a split custody or father has her majority I'm assuming. Even if the child custody is under her mothers you have the right to be part of the child's life. As long as her father deems its okay even if your faced with hostility from the bio mother. no court or judge would grant any injunction or say you can't be there for her. Only way that would happen if you where caught or charged with substance abuse or child molestation. An from what it sounds like I would tell you keep doing what's you feel is best and I would like to say what's your doing is great. I had a stepdad once and he was not a good one but I believe what your doing is good. I think the mother is just jealous of the relationship you have with your daughter. I am one that believes no one choose to be a step parent but if you are your still a parent and as long as you care for them and love them it dosent matter if blood or not.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 15 February 2012 14:35 posted by Guest

    Not true. the law states: Not true. the law states that a stepparent (at least in Indiana) has the right to punish, even corporally punish, their stepchildren, acting as de facto parent. Now, common sense says that things like spankings should be kept to a minimum to avoid problems, but step-parents *do* have the rights in regards to punishing children. You are the one who makes the rules in your house, stepchildren do not just get to live there, off of you, and do as they please. Stepparents who choose to love, nurture, and help raise (which does involve teaching, instructing, and discipline) the children of their spouses can do all of the above.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 15 February 2012 11:45 posted by Guest

    Get that right of first: Get that right of first refusal but get it for 1 hour . This way he will legally have to contact you when he leaves. Step parents have no legal rights to children. I am in the same boat with you. The same thing happened to me. My ex-husband married the woman and I was so sick about my children being with her. I promise you your daughter will never think of this woman as her mother. She won't even have feelings of affection for her. She will only be her father's husband. That was my greatest fear and if I had realized it earlier I would have saved myself much grief. They tolerate her.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 13 February 2012 22:56 posted by Guest

    Truly selfish.: I agree with the "Awful" post re parent teacher conferences. A stepparent is a parent. Can any child have too many people that love and care about them?

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 12 February 2012 15:20 posted by Guest

    Awful.: That is awful and quite petty. If she is concerned with your child enough to attend a parent teacher conference in order to help your child become a better student and possibly more successful adult, then you are quite lucky she is in the child's life.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 09 February 2012 13:14 posted by Guest

    re: step parents right by Guest on 01/28/2012 9:34 am: absolutely, in answer to your question. get a will in place for you both! as long as the bio father is deceased (which i am very sorry to hear), you can leave custody to anyone, including your fiance - tho it would be easier if you were already married. the only objections would be if he has ever abused her, if she objects, if she has godparents and they tried to step in or if either your parents or the bio fathers parents objected, but as long he is officially her step father and she is happy, then the most a judge would usually award would be visitation with the parents. def get those wills set up and get married tho, just to avoid her becoming a ward of the state (which is what would happen is you have no will and are not married). hope that helps.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 07 February 2012 01:36 posted by Guest

    I would think you could make: I would think you could make a case with the bathing issue, but unfortunately not the parent-teacher conferences. My ex's mistress is allowed to attend them. I spoke with the principal of my child's school about it and he said anyone is allowed to "invite" whomever they want to come to conferences. Even if I stated she could not be there. Sorry I know its hard, thankfully my children's teachers are aware I do not like it and try to talk and make eye contact with only with their father.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 06 February 2012 19:27 posted by Guest

    I have a wonderful: I have a wonderful stepdaughter with whom I have a great relationship (she is seven and I have been with her dad for 5 years. Her mother has always been hostile toward me, even though Ive always "played by her rules." I have also never tried to take over her role, although I am very involved with my step child. I do half of the transporting between homes (my husband does the other half, because the mother refuses), I take her to the park, the movies, and her extra ciriculars (girl scouts). However, because of her jealousy, she (the mother) now says that she does not want me doing any of these things wih my stepdaughter. Can she legally keep me from doing things with my stepdaughter????

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 02 February 2012 15:51 posted by Guest

    RESPNSE to My husband has a daughter; RESPONSE to really???: I am a step father going into my 3rd year. I have two stepdaughters. How, why, who was at fault is moot today. These girls, together and separately, are good natured and have good instincts. The amount of disobedience, disrespect and more, while in the home of me and my wife (their mother) will happen no more. If I were in your shoes, I, too, would never let the child into my home without the mother here. I contribute ten of thousands of dollars, wash almost 100% dishes, and more; which is why I can, with clean conscience, agree with you.

    The kids are militantly behaved with the father since he will hit them. I have no authority to do so and they remind me daily. A country with no nuclear threat will never sit at the table of World Leaders. The horrible situation is their father has been penniless, jobless (we helped him get his only two jobs which he lost), yet we constantly are told he is the great one, when he is just a loaf.

    Being college educated, healthier, simply overall much more attractive in health and mind than their father, I know they will slowly understand the truth. Until then, if they cannot do simple tasks -- no clothes on the floor, bring their plates to the sink, behave when told to -- there is no TV, friends, computer, other. My lovely wife is partly to blame because she, too, has led a life of sometimes disarray, but I know how hard she is trying now.

    If one did some stupid stuff and make herself late to leave the house for school, I will not sign her in. I will make her endure whatever ridicule and penance she encounters there. If one talks harshly to their mother, it will in the room for hours with no books, computer, anything. cell phones have been taken back (what 10 year old really needs one!?!), their IPADS have been sold.

    They are slowly coming around. Stand firm. Your houose is your house, as mine is mine.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 02 February 2012 10:55 posted by Guest

    You have no legal right to: You have no legal right to discipline your stepchildren. Your partner can allow you to use time-outs and such, but that is it. The boundary -- nothing that could even be close to physical. It would be best to leave any discipline up to your partner aka legal parent.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 02 February 2012 10:42 posted by Guest

    Step mom facing hostility: I have a wonderful stepdaughter with whom I have a great relationship (she is seven and I have been with her dad for 5 years. Her mother has always been hostile toward me, even though Ive always "played by her rules." I have also never tried to take over her role, although I am very involved with my step child. I do half of the transporting between homes (my husband does the other half, because the mother refuses), I take her to the park, the movies, and her extra ciriculars (girl scouts). However, because of her jealousy, she (the mother) now says that she does not want me doing any of these things wih my stepdaughter. Can she legally keep me from doing things with my stepdaughter????

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 01 February 2012 23:31 posted by Guest

    4 year old step daughter's bio dad threating bullying wife and i: Hello. I have no one knowledgeable in this area so here i am here asking for help. I have been married to my wife for two years now and we have 2 kids, a 1 year old boy and 4 year old girl. She is my step daughter and we get along great and have a great relationship. I am in the military in california and the bio lives in texas where the divorce decree was filed. We have done our best to let him have a meaningful relationship with her but he refuses to do many things. He didnt send her a xmas present this year and all he does is talk on the phone for 30 min or so if he calls. He also only sends 200 child support and nothing more. He refuses to buy underwear for her and anything like that, it is very frustrating as the step father for me. He doesnt help but when he gets on the phone he is super dad, you know saying my little princess etc. I have many questions but ill just ask this one. The other day he was on the web cam with her and my baby boy walked in the room and whoever was on the web cam told my step daughter to get him out of the room. This was totally unacceptable and stopped the cam. When my wife confronted him he defended who ever was on the cam and he got verbally abusive like he usually gets and ended up saying f your kid. That was the final straw and we started to go by the divorce decree which specifically states my wife needs to make my step daughter available to talk to her bio dad one time a week. We are doing this and tonight he threatened to call the police where i live from where he lives (texas). He is always doing this and i am tired. Tired like you would be after a long days work (or after reading this novel lol). My question is what would you do? Would you worry about the police? Thank you.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 01 February 2012 23:26 posted by Guest

    x everything: Me and my x husband had been together for 10 years and he left me for my "best friend" of 13 years and she is unable to have kids and they are telling my 2 year old to call her mommy and when I told him shed better not be calling her mommy he said whatever got in the car my daughter said mommy and she said yes i am... Isn't this illegal or can something be done about this??

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 01 February 2012 17:47 posted by Guest

    Stepmom is bathing with my 6 yr old daughter...: against my wishes but father is allowing it. Do I have a legal case to make this stop? Is it just me who thinks there is something wrong with this? Also, is she allowed to attend parent-teacher conferences with my ex and I without my consent?

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 01 February 2012 07:46 posted by Guest

    Maybe she thought 14 years: Maybe she thought 14 years ago that for whatever reason, it would be better to raise the child on her own. I am not saying that was right to keep it from him but she did but on the other hand, your husband isn't a saint in this either, he slept with someone who he didn't even know well enough to know that she got pregnant. Now she could be dying and yeah, she wants her child to have a place to go, what's wrong with that? I think you are a bit jealous because you don't have a child with your husband (and it is clear by your attitude that you don't have children) and you don't have the right to be jealous. This did not happen while you were married, no one cheated on you. Besides, your feelings, her feeling and you husband's feelings don't matter here, what matters is the child's feelings and she has the right to know her dad.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 01 February 2012 07:38 posted by Guest

    It depends on why mom has: It depends on why mom has supervised visitation but more then likely no. First, even not including mom, there are a lot of people before you in line to get her, grandparents (yes, mom's parents can get her even though she gets supervised), aunts, uncles, adult siblings if any. Also, even though mom has supervised visitation, she will get a huge say in who gets the child if she can't, in fact, providing mom choosing a responsible adult, the court will probably let her choose.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 01 February 2012 07:34 posted by Guest

    I am so sorry for what you: I am so sorry for what you have been through, I have a daughter myself and my ex isn't around her much. The bad news is, no judge is going to say you husband's wife can't be around her unless she is abusive. BUT what you can do is get right of first refusal. What this means is that if your child is with your ex, he has to be with her at all times, if he has to leave her for any reason, he must first call you and ask if you can take her. This way you have control over whether his wife is alone with her or not. Also, since it's been 5 years, he is not going to get 50/50. I am assuming an open visitation schedule just means he pretty much gets her whenever he wants? If so, the judge will probably just put an order in for roughly the same amount of time he has been having her if you ask for that at most, he might get every other weekend (possibly one day during the week after school till like 8 pm) and possibly 2 weeks in the summer. Especially since he is out of county, I mean the child can't go to two different schools every year. Usually, in order for visitation to change, the parent requesting the change must prove there has been a change in either their's or their ex's situation that warrants the change in visitation (and him getting married would not count). As far as this woman getting affection from you child, I know that is hard, I mean it must feel like this woman slept with you husband and now she wants your kid too? But your daughter is not a baby, she is 7, old enough to understand the situation and old enough to know that you are her mother. I know in some situations, step moms end up being a second mom but usually that is only when either mom is not around, or step mom has been there since the child was a baby. BUT in court, DO NOT seem like the bitter ex, because that is when the judge is going to take your ex's side. You are justified in your feelings but they look bad in court. The judge may listen to what your daughter has to say on the matter since she is 7, some will some won't until 12. Has he been paying child support? If not, you can get it retroactively from the time he moved out. Good luck and I am sorry for your situation. I hope I didn't come off sounding harsh, I just want you to understand the facts so that you have the best chance possible to fight.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 01 February 2012 07:20 posted by Guest

    No, unless you have abused: No, unless you have abused them (in which case charges would have to have been filed) your wife's ex has no say over whether you are around the kids or not. It would actually be very good for her case if he does ask for this in court because it shows that 1. he is being very unreasonable and 2. he is NOT interested in the best interest of the children. My husband is also raising my daughter and my ex doesn't like the fact that she sees my husband as her dad not him, but that's too bad because my husband has done nothing wrong. I think it's great you are giving these kids the dad they deserve.

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 29 January 2012 16:03 posted by Guest

    Stepdad rights..: I am a step dad to two beautiful children that are 5 and 6 i've raised them and took care of them with no contact from the bio at all. just recently he decided to take my wife to court for my two kids and said that he doesn't want me around them.. the judge allowed it even though we are married and living together. I wanna know if that is possible and can the judge allow that even though we're married and have children together ourselves?

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 28 January 2012 21:34 posted by Guest

    step parents right: Hi I am engaged to a wonderful man. My daughter is 10yrs old. I am 52 yrs old. I was wondering if in the event that I become deceased, would my fiance have rights to care for my daughter. He is the only man she knows as daddy. Her bio dad was killed in '04 in an auto accident. Is there a way I can make sure she is taken care of by my fiance? My family and her paternal families are not good candidates to care for her. I don't speak to either my family or her grandparents. long story not good. thank you for any advice you can give me

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 28 January 2012 19:24 posted by Guest

    I have a hard time getting along with my step mom: Well im 15 years old and i have never met my bio mom and ever since i was 5 i haved lived with my step mom and my dad has full custide of me well now its up to the point me and my step mom dont get along because the days i have half day at school she keeps me home and makes me get up with the kids at 9 and she doesnt get up tell 2 pm and i tell her that she has to now that i still just a kid my self and i cant take care of tow kids my self and all she says is that i hve to do what ever she says and now i cant take any of this and i help her more then anyone and she says i dont do crap and their has been a point where she has kicked me out of the house 3 or 4 times their is also points where she hit me and left markson me and said good she diserved it and i just cant take this any more what can i do to get all this just to stop

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 27 January 2012 11:40 posted by Guest

    that kid sounds like a nut. : that kid sounds like a nut. I would call the cops the next time he damages property in your house.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 27 January 2012 07:18 posted by Guest

    She could never be the: She could never be the mother, the child already has a real mother who loved her and raised her the last 14 years. The mother is introducing the daughter to the father to ensure her future is secure in the event the mother dies.

    Step mommy needs to understand the world does not revolve around her and her feelings. How can the mother respect a jealous, imature, selfish woman with no compassion for a dyimg woman or a child ?

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 26 January 2012 21:05 posted by Guest

    Step Parents : Im 16 Years Old, I would like to know what rights a step parent has in disciplining step children. What lines shouldn't be crossed?

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 26 January 2012 18:44 posted by Guest

    future stepdaughter: My ex husband and I divorced 5 years ago - we have a 7 year old and he gave me custody and he has open visitations, he lives out of the county. Now after 5 years he is marrying the woman who caused our split up. He has threated me that he is going to go to court to fight for 1/2 custody so our daughter can he lives with him 1/2 time with the family that he'll build. My question is? Can I legally get a court order that states that this new wife (my daughter's future step daughter) "can't" get close to my daughter? As you my understand, it hurts me that this woman will get the affection of my daughter after what she did to us; besides my daughter is aware what did woman did to us and she doesn't like her.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 23 January 2012 18:04 posted by Guest

    what are my rights?: What happens if a biological father has full custody and the biological mother only has supervised visitation? In this situation, if he dies, would I, as her step-mother, have any legal standing to fight for custody?

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 23 January 2012 17:48 posted by Guest

    well trust me he has looked: well trust me he has looked into our relationship and he put her in her place... And first off "Guest" i never said anything about the child being a hamster. You obviously have never been in this situation. I have/had anger at the whole situation. I have taken the advice of other comments and opened that communication with MY husband. So we are now on the same page... But thank you any way for you more than unhelpful comment .. :) have a wonderful day.

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 21 January 2012 14:48 posted by Guest

    response to letter to step-dad--I had a similar thing--: I too was threatened in a similar way by my step-son 4 years ago. I'm not sure how old your step-son is, mine was 22 at the time, and it was all done via online. He detailed how he was going to come to my house and smash my head with a baseball bat among other things. I did nothing to him. He blames me for his dad marrying me and us moving back to my hometown which is on the other side of the state, and he's angry because his dad and I have had a son since we got married 7 years ago. He had an option to move with us, but he chose not to. He wanted to go live with his mother who was nothing of a mother, being a druggie who lost custody of all 4 of her kids, 2 prior to her marrying my husband (not his kids), and the 2 she had with him.

    Now he has a daughter who is 4 years old with an ex girlfriend, who had been taken from both parents custody and put in foster care for the last 2 years, and he's since had one or two more kids since. He was on probation at the time of these threats. I printed everything he wrote me and took it to my local police department along with the name of his probation officers name and filed a report. There was nothing they could do because it was just that. A Threat. They won't do anything until he made an action toward the threat....so yea, great, when I am laying dead with my head bashed in, then they will go after him. That is some good law there. I really was scared because my husband is a truck driver meaning he is always out of town, so I am always alone with my two children. I have demanded my husband take care of this situation, he told his son off, and refused to talk to his son for a while for this. I guess it was all he could do. :/

    I refuse to acknowledge his two older children who are both in their late 20s now. They blame me for their problems, and I want nothing to do with them. His daughter married a convicted sex offender without telling my husband she was even married, then was upset with me when I told her to leave her husband at home, I didn't want him near my two kids. Since that time, they were caught dealing with meth, and both were sent to prison. Yea, she blamed me for that too, as if I had anything to do with her dealing and manufacturing it. I am no druggie, and on top of that both kids still live on the other side of the state from me. I know they are my husbands kids, but they are not my kids, I don't feel I have to deal with them, being they are basically 14 an 16 years younger than me, and they chose to live the way they did. I don't want them near my two kids, even though my son is their half brother. My son does not need to know them. I feel threatened by them, and don't feel safe with them, and I don't trust them to even be associated with my son. I may be wrong in this, but I really don't care. I am protecting myself and my two kids from these step-kids. I am currently going to be making a will for myself and husband, I want to know what my rights are that my two kids get what my husband and I worked for, I don't want to include his two older kids. They chose their paths, I want to protect my two minor children. I have my homework cut out for me, and hope I find something positive in the search in my rights to this..

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 19 January 2012 09:56 posted by Guest

    We do not know anything about: We do not know anything about this woman or the child. I mean obviously my husband was with her and from what he said was that he talked to her no longer than a month. Also that he wasn't the only one. (teenagers!) This was over 9 years ago! My husband was what you would call a "rebound" guy. As soon as it was over she went back to her ex. I believe she found out she was pregnant but assumed it was her boyfriends. The child is now 8 and the believed father suddenly had a dream that the child wasn't his and had a paternity test. Well it came out negative. From what we know is that they hadn't been together since the baby was born but since the baby was "his" he paid child support. Well now she's not getting that and well she's looking for the Real father. The believed father WANTS his money back and to change the childs last name. I feel horrible for the child. If he is ours I will raise him like my own. We do have a 7 year old together. If he is not I wish the best for him, no child should have to go through this hurt. 8 years thinking the man that is your dad is not. I was (am) a stepchild and my experience was not that great. I wouldn't want that for anyone. I just hope that if he is ours that we can come to an agreement with the mother on an amount and hope we can get along. I don't want the whole baby mama drama. Wait we shouldn't have to pay any back child support or anything should we? We didn't know. We hired an attorney so we will wait to get a court ordered paternity test. I hope all goes well. Oh and in my state my husband would have to pay about 1000 for this one child! I don't even think we spend that on our own child!

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 18 January 2012 23:10 posted by Guest

    School Laws against Step Parents: Ok, I am married and have been with my husband for nearly 7 yrs now. I have raised his son, whom I call my own, since he was 4years old. I taught him how to wipe himself of #2, bathe himself, read, manners, etc....yes his grandparents still had him in diapers come nightime to sleep in his crib at the age of 4. He is now 10 years old, and I have always been the parent to make sure he does everything he is supposed to do and so on. He has never wanted to call me by my name or "Stepmom" and has always called me "Mom, Mommy" (which I did clear with my husband and his ex first). My son's bio mom, is a not in the picture at all, her choice, her loss. I have never had a problem with him being in school or talking to any of his teachers, having single conferences with them or anything like that....until now. My husband and I grew upset with finding him not doing his homework assignments, lying, and hiding information we need from us. I have tried to contact his teachers (he has 2 in one class this yr) but never got a response right away, would ask one of them to call me, which they never did, or email me or my husband, which they also never did. I would always get a response to my letters no less than 3 days later! How are we supposed to correct and discipline my child 3 days later? Just not right. I tried calling her and it was the same delayed response, but not even to my phone, just my husbands. And he hates dealing with the school on these issues, which means I have to do it. Then I write her a letter about the whole situation and ask her to email us or call us with his homework assignments so we can better stay on top of things, and instead she writes me back 3 days later saying she had a talk with him about lying and responsibility......i feel she over stepped her boundaries as a teacher, and that is not what I was asking of her at all! So I try to schedule a conference with her(the other one is now out on maternity leave), and it takes forever and once again leaves it to my son to get the message back to me instead of contacting me or my husband directly, and my son leaves the message behind on the day before Christmas break. We finally get the "conference" scheduled and I go to school with my son, and the front desk admin calls the teacher to let her know that I am here, but the teacher asks her if my husband is with or not, I said no, then asks the admin to ask in front of everyone, if I am my sons "mom" or "stepmom".(My son is by my side). I dont lie and say I am his mom, but technically his step mother, and the teacher denies me and tells the admin, that by law, she cannot speak to me about my son without my husband present becuase I am "just his Stepmom". I had to call my husband and ask him to come right away and explain the situation. Only to ask why I wasn't informed of this in the begining of the school year. We are finally able to see the teacher and I ask her why she did not communicate this new law to us, when she clearly new I was trying to communicate directly with her. I never got an answer. I voiced my concerns over the lack of communication between her and I and that it was too difficult to communicate with her about my son, as well as not approving of her talk with my son. She told me she could not talk to me about him, she could only talk to my husband, unless he fills out a form in the front office, and tells me the issue with is homework is his responsibility, and she will not call me or communicate with me should he not turn it in. She also told me that she is not going to babysit him, that there are other kids in her class and she is too busy doing her job to communicate with me........ummmmm I believe that is part of the job description, my sis in law is also a teacher and disagrees with her. I basically have to beg her to let me do my job as a parent in making sure he is doing what he needs to do, and knowing what is going on with my child, and she tells me it's basically not going to happen, if I want I can talk to the principal.....(sorry for the long story, just helps to vent). Before my husband and I go to the principal, I need to know if there really is such a law in the State of FL? Has anyone gone through this? Any helpful suggestions? I am trying to research all of these ridiculous things the teacher has said and schedule a meeting with the principal, should I be right on everything, but will still talk to her about the lack of communication between teacher and parent, and in a timely manner. As well as the disrespect I received from her ( which i have not stated here) just becuase I am a "StepMom". Help!

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 18 January 2012 22:06 posted by Guest

    Re: Rights of First Refusal: I am familiar with this law. Even though you are remarried and have full custody of your daughter, yes, unfortunately, the biological mother can try to be oh so caniving, in your absence. However, there is a form that you can get from an attorney's office that signs all rights over to your wife in your absence, this way, your daughter cannot be harmed and or taken away from her or you. As long as she has this paper, she will have all the rights you have, and can protect your daughter, as well as give you sound mind while away. I'm not sure how much it costs, I'm sure the costs are different everywhere, but it does need to be notarized.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 18 January 2012 21:31 posted by Guest

    Possible Step Mom: I am no authority on this, but I know "honesty" is the best policy. Before he takes that test, you and him should have a good sit and talk the whole thing out. I'm sure he already knows that this is going to greatly affect your relationship and marriage, and that you are most likely going through a world of hurt. But it's always best to take a moment when you aren't too strongly emotional on the subject and write down how you feel about it as if you were talking to him. Then when you are ready, ask him if you can talk, and ask him to wait until you are done reading the letter to respond. This way you are able to say everything you are feeling, and your concerns in a greatly productive and helpful way, without interruption, and without forgetting something you really wanted to get out. This will also help him to get the better picture and know how to better strengthen your relationship, and communication, as well as be better supporters of each other.
    Under NO circumstances, is it ok that she call YOUR husband "baby"! That is a hugely flirtatious remark, and a major sign of disrespect to your marriage, as well as directly to you. It is up to your husband to put an end to that right away, and make sure it is absolutely clear that no matter the end results of the test, there will be no tolerance for such disrespect. If that girl is his daughter, than that woman will have a lot to answer to when it comes to you and your husband, as a unit, as well as her daiughter, as to why she waited so long, and was so selfish, not to be open and honest about it from the very begining. Maybe you can be the kind of mother to her, her actual biological mother never was...completely open and honest.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 18 January 2012 19:02 posted by Guest

    Re: I believe she Just Wants a...: Well that could be true, but lets ask ourselves a few questions first:

    Does she have several children with different fathers? If so, then probably. I, however think not, because she or the state would have found you alot sooner then 8 years after the fact! Most professional child support queens, dont reproduce with the same man...it effects the amount of child support they get. Take my state for instance, 289 minimum for 1 child, but if there are 2 kids same dad 323...see far more lucrative to have different dads for each child (578).
    Also, they initiate the state to pay for all the costs associated with the pregnancy and birth...this is usually when an armed cop serves you you papers. You, are now made responsible to pay for the expenditures of the pregnancy back to the state. If the child support queen doesnt give you up she loses all or her assistance for all of her kids...low-income housing, daycare(my favorite), food stamps, housing allowance, gas/electric credits thru the winter...sure i left out a few!
    If she were really after the money she would have gotten to him alot sooner, I promise! If he/she moved, then that is a whole lot easier to explain as to why she did not find him. You see, as child support laws have continued to change following UIFSA. This federal law allowed for each state to intiate, find and enforce with some degree of accuracy cases which were never worked before. These lost cases were never followed up upon or not enforced due to conflicting rules of governing from each state...hope this clarifys!
    Goodluck

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 18 January 2012 18:20 posted by Guest

    Re: Possible child: First thing first-this is a child...not a hamster! You need to get out of the picture now if you can handle it, cuz if the mother dies your husband gets sole custody....FOREVER not just 4 years. Also, be mindful that she could depending on the laws of your state go after past due child support...which could go back as far as birth depending on the state. But the good news is that if your husband is a person and not a robot he should initiate, keep and maintain a relationship with this human. He might want to reconsider his relationship with you however.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 18 January 2012 17:38 posted by Guest

    same thing here: I have the same thing going on here. It is sad but u won't be able to get her out of your life juft like him. All I can tell u to do is make sure that everytime you see her and she is rude she whatches you document it. if that does not work then you have the documents to give to a lawyer or go back to court.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 17 January 2012 10:12 posted by Guest

    How to cope with an angry ex husband?: I live in texas and my ex husband and I have joint custody , our son is three years old and he is now saying he doesn't want to go with his dad, my ex is very aggressive and he has some anger issues , I can't talk to him about anything before he flies off the handle. I want to keep the peace for my son but I want to have the communication open so that we can address some of the issues my son has at his house. My ex lets me know a day before that he is picking him up , how far in advance does he need to let me know because one day before is not enough time for me to change some plans that we have already made. How to cope with a abusive and aggressive ex husband when the focus should be our son .

    Thankyou

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 17 January 2012 00:14 posted by Guest

    i am a step mother: ok i have a step son that is 8 years old his father my husband has custody of him the bio mother gets to see him on holidays ok his mother tells him not to listen to me tell me he hates me and just be disresectful to me. well what i was wanting to know is my step son plays both parents neither one of them disapline him in any way he thinks he cant get in trouble at all in school or anywhere he is disresectful to everybody if it dont go his way he starts hitting his self biteing his self and hitting his head i love him with all my heart what can i do to fix this problem and no i aint tring to take over being my step sons mom he has one i know this isnt normal

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 16 January 2012 23:20 posted by Guest

    Legally, the stepmom has NO: Legally, the stepmom has NO right to discipline your child, (unless of course you have given up your rights, and she has adopted him). If you take your ex-husband to court, in all likelihood a judge will say that she is not allowed to discipline your child without your permission.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 16 January 2012 22:24 posted by Guest

    I believe she just wants a: I believe she just wants a clear conscious before she goes. My husband just received a phone call from a woman he was with before me saying that he is the father. We have a 7 year old and this other child is 8 years old. My question is why? Why 8 years later? I just don't understand. I believe she just wants money. The believed father found out he wasn't the father and he had been paying child support for all these years. I believe he wants his money back and that's where my husband is supposed to come in. I've been praying that he is not the father just because we already have our family. I don't want to seem selfish but I can't help feeling this way. Has this happened to anyone else? Any advice?

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 16 January 2012 10:40 posted by Guest

    Possible Child: Hello i really need some advice. I have been married to my husband for 10years. Just last week a "woman" from his past, 14 years ago has said that he is her child's father. I am very emotional about this. I understand that he is doing the right thing by doing the paternity test. But now they "woman" is calling my husband baby and acting like we all already know that this is his child. What would you do? I have so many mixed emotions right now. I told my husband it would be diferent if we had children but we don't and i can't have children. I know now IF this little girl is his there will be a connection between him and the mother. She supposedly has cancer. I feel like she is trying to clear her mind before she dies. She isn't taking anyone else's emotions and feelings into account. And I don't understand why she is coming forward now after 14 YEARS to tell him this could be his child... IF she is his, he has already missed everything about being a parent. I mean it is 4 years until she is an adult... Why didn't she just keep her mouth shut!?

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 14 January 2012 15:25 posted by Guest

    EX: I Hate His/Her Ex is a book for anyone having difficulty coming to terms with their partner’s past relationships - brilliant read! Available on Amazon or most bookstores - Kindle or paperback!

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 13 January 2012 00:08 posted by Guest

    response to: what r my rights: I am a stepmother and mother. So I know both sides of the story. But, no, she doesn't have to let him call. And, if the father isn't there, why are you laying out all free and clear while she babysits? The response your husband gave was very immature also. Maybe he was grounded, being disrespectful, or she didn't have many minutes left. Whatever the reason, you're not going to get the truth from him if he was in trouble for something and trying to play parents against each other. Of course he is going to want to call you, wanting to "come home" if he just got in trouble. I'm sure you have NEEEEVER said, no, you can't call your dad, when he wanted to call 4.5 seconds after he got in trouble. Suck it up. Its the dad's time, he doesn't have to let him contact you until its your time again.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 11 January 2012 14:24 posted by Guest

    replying to Billie: I suggest that you go back to court and get a visitation sch. changed. Your ex's new girl friend does not have ANY rights to your son. The visitation sch. is so that the father and the child can have visitation. NOT your ex, his gf and your son. I just went to court yesterday, my ex was trying to force me to drop off our 2 young children to his gf or his mother when he is not able to pick them up. The judge told my ex that his gf has no RIGHTS to our children and that he was not going to force me to drop off the children to his gf or his mother. In mediation I express great concern about my children being left alone with my ex's gf. My children are not allowed to call me mommy, my children came home to me one weekend after bring with their father and told me that they wished I will die and that she her new mommy. My kids are 5 and 3 yrs old. they were sooo scared that they were never going to see me again and the gf told my kids this during winter break and my ex gets them 1 week straight. So you can imagine the fear my children felt when they didn't come home after spending 2 nights with their father. I told the mediator that I am fearful for my children being left alone in his gf's care, because when my ex and I were together she was married to my ex's nephew and was very hostile towards me and the feelings has not changed. She is almost 40 years old and can not have children and she wants mine.
    With all the things that is going on with step parents killing the step children. Don't get me wrong I am a step parent as well. My spouse has custody of his son. My kids HATE going to their father's house that he resides with his gf. If my children were excited that would be a whole different ball game. My 3 year old son flips out when we pull up to their father's pad. That is NOT normal behavior. So, I filed paperwork to make it a stipulation that the father's gf is not allowed to babysit my children and that the father has to be present to pick up the children. If he has to work I get first option of babysitting my kids. Document EVERYTHING. If you do not have a court order stating that you must drop off the kids to his gf. DON'T do it. If he is not there to get the kids, give him a 10 minute wait. If he is a no show. Take your court order to the police station, tell them that you want to file a child custody violation report. you fill it out and keep a copy. On that report it shows that you were there, this way he can not say you refused him his visits. You were there and he wasn't. You refuse to go through his NEW gf because she very disrespectful and etc. The judge will side with you on this matter. Because it was you and him that made your child not you and him and the new gf.
    Good luck

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 09 January 2012 19:16 posted by Guest

    You know I think your: You know I think your seriously twisted! My kids dad is a messed up heroin junkie who beat them and me. They call there stepdad, Dad by their choice. He does more for my kids than there POS father ever did and or does. My kids biological father wouldn't even pay for diapers when my daughter was little " I will buy them but you have to pay me back tomorrow" this whole stay in your lane thing totally F**cked up not gonna lie. And when it comes to my stepchildren I love and adore them I spent hours getting lice out of my stepdaughters really curly long hair which by the way were really bad because BM didn't do anything about them so her head was filled with literally thousands of lice as well as COVERED with open sores due to the lice feeding on her head for so long. But I guess if all of us were to be like you lets just not care about the kids, or do anything to show them they are loved and cared for by someone. Since by your standards I had no right to help my stepdaughter get rid of lice I had no right to go get her a Rx for it that cost me over $100! By your standards I should have just let her suffer rather than "overstep my boundaries"

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 09 January 2012 14:04 posted by Guest

    Narcissistic Mother- Your opinion ...: Hello,

    Im the stepmom of my husband's 7 yr old daughter. He found out about her less than a year before we were married ( married 3 yrs now but together for 10 yrs). Of course It was devastating in the beginning and I had trouble accepting the situation- but im so over that. What happened was, the girls mother had NO IDEA who the real father was while she was married to a guy she THOUGHT was the real father- now divorced after he discovered the truth. Anyway, the mom seems bitter because my husband isnt "head over heels" and spends every free moment of his time and emotions on their daughter. She is now beginning to have issues with the attention I give their daughter because it seems to be more than what my husband does. I thought I had established a civil relationship with her and contact her with important decisions or ask my husband to do so. Just as I knew my husband found out about this child prior to our marriage, the mom knew about me. I just feel it will come to a legal issue down the road and I can tell by the way the child acts that she's being brainwashed- the child also calls my husband by his first name? anyhow, I have since decided to keep my distance and not contact the mother. I can sense she is having some issues with the level of disengagement and wishes my husband were closer to their daughter. He has regular visits and does financially support her. my husband and I never planned to have more children, well, that has since changed and he wants a child in our marriage as we are actively trying. I encourage my husband to be a good father and maybe he's still dealing with guilt and isnt telling me. However, I am his wife and the mom has absolutely NO CONTROL OR SAY when his daughter visits- these are my husband's words-but I believe the mom would rather I not be involved in their bonding-but there are a lot of lies from the past and trust issues which led to this situation in the first place. As a Christian, I do feel my marriage comes first, because if it doesnt, there was no need of getting married and my husband and I would not be one flesh. Good day!

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 08 January 2012 21:09 posted by Guest

    I feel so sorry for your son: My joint parenting agreement states that my ex can pick up our children after x time OR after he is done with work that day, whichever is later. I do allow his mother to pick up the children but I NEVER let his girlfriend pick them up. Remember, it's HIS visitation not his wife's...she has no legal rights to your son. I would check with an attorney but I really don't think you have to drop your son off anywhere unless his father is present. As for what she says to your kid I would definitely seek an attorney's advice. If you have insurance, I suggest taking your son for a psych eval to determine what damage his stepmother may be doing. It sounds like she's really messing with his head. It may be worth pursuing a restraining order.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 06 January 2012 00:56 posted by Guest

    Step-son: I have been in my step-sons life scene he was 2. Me and his father moved in together when my step-son was 3. He is now 14. He lives with us full time and always has. Iam the one who takes him to and from school, doctors app,dentist app,homework,ect. Recently his mom has shown more interest in having him live with her. We are open to that. However tonight there was a situation. She called to speak with him, she was upset that i was in the room listening to the phone call. She told her son that i was a terrible mother. When i heard that i took the phone away. She is now contacting a lawyer, and filing "charges" against me. What should i do?

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 02 January 2012 17:24 posted by Guest

    Step-Mother & Abusive father with two daughters.: Im the daughter of a 55 year-old man & a step-mother , i have a twin sister.. & i think im under-age , but i got a question. So a while back , my father has beaten me & my sister to the point where he left 24 marks on my skin & 17 on hers. We told the guidance counselor & everything had gotten took care of . He went to jail & h had to follow some procedures , but i dont think he did. We followed the procedures . They were : Getting services & people coming in & out of our house to check up on us . I dont know what happened , but when it was the courts date , we arrived there , & they said the charges were dropped . He was allowed to come back home , but he didn't want to .. All he wanted to do was get a divorce , now hes back . But not back home , he thinks he can just come back , like nothing happened. When he came back , he made me & my sister's life horrible. He's Haitian , they believe that beating their kids is Discipline. I think you should discipline them , but not beat them enough to leave marks & damages to their body . They think in the US , getting arrested is a big disgrace to their family .. If they thought that , they would actually think twice bout their actions , because in Haiti .. getting arrested means that they steal . So for him , he holds a grudge . He came back , like a week after.. & he HIT US again. My step-mother does all she can to help us , but we're afraid of him & his actions.. I was wondering , can a stepmother file a restraining order against him ? My opinion , is that she cannot because shes not our ( Bio ) mother .. Help .

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 31 December 2011 02:15 posted by Guest

    Response to REALLY?? Being a stepmom: I am a stepmom of 8 years to two wonderful children. Also, their father and I have a daughter together. However, I don't care of they were here before I entered the "picture", this is my home now and my family now (that they are part of as well) BUT their lives or feelings will not dictate how I run my home. Disrespectfulness absolutely will not be tolerated, AT ALL! I have another daughter that I am tryig to raise appropriately and FAIRLY and will not have 2 stepkids or any kid for that matter coming into my home breaking my rules, being disrespectful and teaching my daughter inappropriate ways o talkin to her mother or adults for that matter. Step children are very testy. If you, as a step parent do not address this early on, you are in big trouble. As for the woman above who is receiving the 11 yr old step child while her father works all day... I am in total agreeance with her. That little girls father is not even there to spend the time with his daughter and his wife is not their babysitter. Would be different of the child respected her. A 11 yr old child knows what is respect and what is not. I have come real close to not allowing my stepson coming when his father is not here to deal with him due to the amount of disrespect that I receive and the temper tantrums he throws and threats he gives me, his defiance of my authority, and all
    Authority in general. I am very loving to this child and have tried everything. But as his mom keeps telling him things about me and encouraging the disrespect then it will never get better. So the way I see it, they can deal with him and I barely even want his own half sister around him. So, stepchild, biological child, friends child who enters my home will respect me and act appropriately around my other children. Mine are pretty respectful because they have been raised that way. But the others, if not, then I don't want to deal with them. They own mamma can. I have tried.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 30 December 2011 02:43 posted by Guest

    step parents rights: i have a question for you. a friend of mine is a step parent of two wonderful kids. she is in a bad relationship with her husband. she"s even thought of divorce. anyway she has basically been in the children's lives for about nine years. my question is the stepmother doesnt want to send the children back to live with their biological mother. the mother is on drugs and her mental state is in question at this time. she is very abusive mentally to the younger child who is thirteen. basically calls her filthy things i dont care to mention. she was sent to live back with her stepmother because the biological mother could'nt handle her anymore .she made her do all the housework while she got high and had men in and out of the house. the daughter is an emotional wreck because of it. she begs not to go back because her mother wants to confront her because of things she has said to her step mom that will probably get her into trouble. the older of the two, who is by the way is a boy doesnt want to live with her either after what he has been hearing. he refuses to go back too. the biological father wants to send them back to the biological mother against their will. the stepmother doesnt want them to go back.
    she has been in their lives for over nine years. she has loved these kids like her own. its breaking her heart that they are so depressed because they may have to go back. she wants them to stay with her and live with her even after a divorce arrives. this stepmother is a amazing women. she really loves the kids. they have bonded with her and love her.she even stayed longer in her marriage just to see them grow up . even giving up, her hopes and dreams just to mother them. i know this story sounds horrible but its. true. in fact i was also a step parent to these kids as well. we are both hurting over this. we love them like our own. they are good kids. my ex girlfriend is the one who has the problems i have mentioned she has hurt them both verbally and emotionally.my question is what rights do we have as step parents to keep these kids from going back to their biological mother? please give us some answers for the children"s sake. we are all headed to court soon. and this could get ugly. just need some advice.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 29 December 2011 15:39 posted by Guest

    Thank you! What a tool that: Thank you! What a tool that man is. How can he really wonder what precipitated this poor child to write these letters when his answer is apparently "punishing and BEATING" him??? Wow. If I was his wife, I would take my kid and run.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 29 December 2011 12:26 posted by Guest

    Dead beat dad and mom: I am going through the same situation, only I am the Step Mom. I have raised my daughter since she had just turned 3. She is now 6 1/2 years old. Her bio mom sounds like your sons bio dad, she has probably seen her maybe 4 times since I have been there. She just now this last week, has been trying to talk to my daughter. I have the same feelings that your husband does, and my first reaction was to say NO. But after talking to a few friends, I decided to be the bigger person and hope and pray that she will know that I have been there for her and I love her just like I love my own children. I tried talking to the Bio mom to see what her intentions where but she refused to talk to me. If she continues to try to reach out to her, my husband and I will let her talk to her, and see where that leads to. I think that your husbands feelings are normal, and tell him that I feel exactly the same way and it really hurts me, but I have to remember that its not about me. I will continue to do what I do and hope that it will all come out alright. Tell him that he has been there this whole time and I dont think that your son will ever forget that, as your son gets older he will definatly know who was there and who was not.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 28 December 2011 19:56 posted by Guest

    I understand and agree: Wow I thought it was only me who was going though this.
    I'm a mother of two one my son is from my x husband I can't
    Tell how much I agree w/ you I hate my son step mother she tells
    My 5 year old that his mommy does not love him that his
    Mommy is ugly and is a bad person she tells him that
    She is his new mommy and to call me by my name!!
    That breaks my heart to hear my baby tell me these things.
    All I can say is I love you and as long as you know the truth
    That's all that matters!! She does not allow my sons father to
    Communicate w/ me if I text his phone she text me back on her
    Phone "loser" but I cannot communicate w/ her because I would love
    To tell her what I think and it would b pointless... So now I just
    Dropped my son off w/ her and I hear from his family that she's planning
    On leaving my sons father but yet she has our son.!! Where he is idk!!
    From what I've been told I have to let her pick him up because his dad works
    And cannot b present!? So heres this girl running my child around everywhere w/ her
    Friends and I'm his mother I can't do anything to stop her.
    I just wish his father would pick a better step mother is all one
    That doesn't tell him in front of me that shes his mommy not her:(!!! Any ideas??
    An idea that won't put me behind bars!??

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 28 December 2011 17:23 posted by Guest

    agree...totally same rules: agree...totally same rules apply for all kids..

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 28 December 2011 17:20 posted by Guest

    step mom spanking kids: I am a step mom and a mom my stepson is 15 and my son is 14. I agree with spanking,spare the rod spoil the child. If someone doesn't correct the children the system will. I would rather them have rules and consequences than to be in jail later on in life.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 28 December 2011 07:58 posted by Guest

    Exactly! I couldn't have said: Exactly! I couldn't have said it better myself

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 28 December 2011 07:42 posted by Guest

    Seriously?? You're comparing: Seriously?? You're comparing a child calling his MOM vs calling his STEP mom?! Wow

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 27 December 2011 18:35 posted by Guest

    Should I Allow My Son to See His Bio (Deadbeat) Dad?: My current husband has raised my son as his own since he was 3 (now 16). My ex was has probably paid less than $500 total in child support over the last 13 years, has never called or visited regularly, ignores birthdays/holidays and only seen him a handful of times over the years.

    Now my ex has started pursuing a relationship with my son via facebook and emails and has a new girlfriend in town, so he is visiting every other month or so (mainly to see girlfriend, not his son). My son and his bio father want to see each other, but my husband is angry, jealous and horrified and is now telling me not to allow them to see each other. My position has always been that even though my ex is a scandalous, self-centered deadbeat (ex-junkie), we do not have the right to keep my son from seeing him if HE wants to see his father. My son is well aware of his bio-dad's history and remembers all the promises he has broken, etc., but still wants contact. I am pretty firm that, unless there is danger, no one has the right to keep their child from having contact with their biological parent, no matter how big a scumbag he may be.

    My husband gave up a lot to take over the father role of my son and has put years of time and effort helping him grow (I failed to mention my son has Aspbergers, ADHD, GAD and possibly ODD), moreso than even most biological parents. I understand how he feels, and desperately want him to see things through my eyes and to not be so hurt...now he wants me to choose who is his "father". What to do, what to do? I try to reassure him that when my son is older, he will realize what great things he has done for him and will appreciate him and understand that he is truly his "father", while his bio dad is more of an "uncle", even though my son calls his stepfather by his first name and his biodad "Dad"...when my son refers to his stepfather in legal-ish situations, when he refers to his father, he is referring to his stepfather.

    I need help with this situation before it ruins our family...any advice on how to handle this?

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 27 December 2011 15:52 posted by Guest

    i have a crazy situation: i have a step child in my home and she has lived with me full time for three years with a few contacts from her mother, who is now incarcerated on her second prison term. the child i have has never lived with her mother, instead with random family members every school semester. my husband has full custody now, but he is not the stablest person either. both parents have been in criminal conduct since the child was born. i just want to know if he goes to jail, and the mother is in jail, i will have my step child with me. what can i do legally to ensure that she does not have to be placed in another home again? she is very comfortable with me and does not see her mothers side of the family. my husband has full custody with all rights. what can i do?

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 23 December 2011 16:47 posted by Guest

    Rights of first refusal : I have custody of my 6 year old daughter in Georgia. My x (her mother) lives in texas. There is a rights of first refusal agreement in the paperwork. I might deploy for the air force for 2 months during my daughter's school year. I am remarried and she would be in her step mother's care during this time. Should my daughter be kept out of school for this time if my x wants to enforce the rights of first refusal agreement?? any help?

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 22 December 2011 15:46 posted by Guest

    I have never even met my: I have never even met my child's stepmother. I was in a relationship with her father right up to the day he decided to charge me with harassment. That was the only way I knew we were no longer together. Little did I know he was cheating on me with a married woman. My daughter was only a yr old when this all occurred btw. For over a year I did not know where my child was because of the courts order. When it was finally all settled and he lost, I discovered he was forcing my child to call this woman mother. Fast forward a few months and my ex got caught living with this woman. To avoid trouble, he married her 3 days later on my birthday of all days (but I dont care). With little less than a month to his deployment (Captain in the military police too) he has managed to get stepparent visitation rights for a woman that has only been a stepmom for less than 2 months. My daughter will be 3 in the Summer. I still have not met this woman yet I am to leave my child with her for a whole weekend! I can only hope and pray that when I go to drop off my child that I am just not handing over her to some random stranger on the corner claiming to be the stepmom. Through all his crap, I have never tried to take away his rights to be with his daughter. I have just fought for him to not try to use criminal courts for him to gain full custody. I don't know how to handle this situation because I am scared of him. I also have 3 other children to look after that he is also trying to have removed from me. The courts saw what he was doing in the past, I just only hope they can see it still and not pat him on the back because he serves our country. Anyone have any advice? I am exhausted!

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 21 December 2011 00:14 posted by Guest

    I would verify with a legal: I would verify with a legal representative. Otherwise, the father is giving up his weekends with the child. I am being forced to take my child to see her step-mom for a weekend every month because the father found a loop hole in the law. I only have a problem with it because my child's father is forcing her to call her step-mom mom and me by my real name. I personally do not think it is right that the child should only visit with step family. The point is to keep them connected with the biological parent, not the family by marriage.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 20 December 2011 07:34 posted by Guest

    Wow. You are angry.: In my experience, people like you are what cause bad behaviors in children. Love and logic. Use it.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 20 December 2011 07:17 posted by Guest

    About the "letter": Children do some stupid things when they get angry or when they feel they have been treated unfairly. Since, kids don't have the tools that mature adults have to handle stress or hurt feelings, that letter was his way of venting his frustration. With your insistence on punishment/beating (seriously?) you have closed the doors to productive communication. It is not your place to punish, it is your place to show acceptable behaviors. By all means, let him know how much the letter hurt you, and then get to the bottom of why he wrote it in the first place, WITHOUT the threat of punishment. It seems to me that this child is very stressed by the way you treat him. The issue isn't the letter, the issue is what is going on with him that prompted him to write it in the first place.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 09 December 2011 09:58 posted by Guest

    Wow, you are really sick. So: Wow, you are really sick. So you can't keep your husband so its everyone else's fault. Get a life!

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 08 December 2011 09:26 posted by Guest

    NO!! I am not sure what what: NO!! I am not sure what what state you live in, but I live in Pa and I am step-mom to (2) children. Me and their mom have a good relationship so I am on all there Medical and School records, but what you do with your kids on you court appointed time with them and with who is legally none of there mom's buisness unless it is endagering the child. If she were to call the cops and called it kidnapping i think she would get in trouble because by law it is your time with your children she can not dictate what you do with them or with who you do it with. She could just not say they are not allowed at your firends house with out proving to the court that your friends would endanger the child or are breaking the law. Now if your Fiance has had a DUI or other violations then I would look into it a little more, but I think she would still have to bring it up in court.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 08 December 2011 09:10 posted by Guest

    Really?: I am a step-mom and what you are doing to this 11 year old girl is horrible!!! how would you like it if your children were being treated like that! She is an 11 year old girl who probably disrespects you because you have no respect for her! I have an 8 year old step child and it took me 3 years to gain her trust. Yes she disrespected me at first and I would cry my self to sleep everynight, but I still did it. Her father works on the weekends too and I would never ever take him waking up and kissing his girls away from him. It just seems to me that you as grown women has to think about how this baby (cause at 11 you still are) feels about her dad having two other girls that he gets to see everyday. She is not 18 she is 11 maybe you should stop thinking about your feelings and your other daughters feelings and think about this little girl who is probably devistated her daddy has two other kids that he loves more then her and you as her step-mom who does not want her or begin to understand how she is feeling. Sorry for being so harsh but being a step-mom is not a part time job and it takes and extremly selfless person. Maybe being a step-mom is not a job you are cut out for! Sorry just being honest. Being a step mom is one of the most unrewarding and hard jobs at first because the children do not have to love you! It takes alot of work and trust building but once you get there and you get your first mothers day card and birthday card to mom it makes everything so worth it. I love my girls so much and look forward to seeing them every weekend. Even when they are being bratty and nasty little kids, because I stop and think to myeself this is not them something is going on here and we talk about it. If you do not love your step-child unconditionaly then you can not call yourself a step-mother, alls you are is her dads wife!

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 06 December 2011 17:43 posted by Guest

    Biological mother vs Stepmother: I happen to play both roles. As a stepmother, I respect the wishes of my husbands ex. I dont overstep my boundries because I understand both sides. I dont hesitate to clear certain things with their mother. Especially if they are important. However I do have the common sense to make small decisions along with their father when needed. More so it's house rules and losing privlages if necessary. I may be they're father's wife, but she is still their mother.
    My 5 year old son has a stepmother. She has taken over as if she was his biological mother. She had only known my son for a couple months before getting married to my ex.
    She wanted to put my son in a private school. She convinced my ex to take me to court when i filed for child support. We had a perfect arrangement before they met. She cut my sons hair!! She did it herself! I cant even tell you how it turned out!! I had to take him to get it fixed because it was so horrible. I just wish step parents would have the consideration, respect and common sense to remember that their stepchildren does have a MOTHER. May not apply to all situations, but in my case I am both. It helps me to see it from both ends. Yes care for your stepchildren as they were your own. But also remember when to pull back.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 05 December 2011 18:19 posted by Guest

    My stepson wrote a detail letter to threating to kill me: The monday night before thanksgiving, I was going to my bed when I noticed some writing and drawing posted on my step-son's room door. So i got the 2 pieces of paper and I began to read them. After I read them,I started to confront my step-son about it,but I didnt. I instead,compose myself to catch my breath,because I was hurt and devastated. Instead of me saying anything to him that night, I went on into the bedroom and told his mother about the letter. Thinking she would have gotten up out of the bed and go confront my step-son,her son, about thee letters. She didnt bother to get up out of the bed,her reaction was " We will discuss it with him in the morning" . So the next morning came around and their was no discussion seemed to be initiated by her. So after lying in bed for about 10 to 15minutes waiting to see if she was going to say anything to him about it,she didnt. So finally I got up out of the bed and confronted my step-son about the letter. Thats when my wife came around near the bathroom and bedroom to where me and my step son was standing. So i precede to ask my step-son about the letter and at first he didnt say anything,so after my wife heard my voice getting a little louder,thats when my wife came around near the bathroom and bedroom where me and my step-son was standing. I spoke with him a little bit about it and ask him why he didnt it. He really couldnt give me a clear cut answer. So me and my wife both begin to speak wit him a little more,telling him if this letter wzas found at school ,we all could have been in some trouble. So I decide that I was not going to get him to upset by beating/punishing him before he leaves to go to school. i told him that we will finish the conversation when he gets home from school. So being that I told him that I was going to punish/beat him when he gets home from school,his mother/my wife decides she will take him to her mother's house until "things cool down" between the two of us -meaning me and my step son. So here it is 2wks later and it still has not been discuss. She refuses to talk about it and refuses to let me discipline him. What can I do about the situation ? I dont want to file charges or report it,but I will if its not discuss by all parties involved and immediatly.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 05 December 2011 18:05 posted by Guest

    My husband has a daughter: My husband has a daughter with his ex she is 11 years old. My thing is that if my husband is not here can she get dropped off to me? Can I deny her entrance to my home? I get disrespected by my 11 year old step daughter and when I brought this to her mothers attention she did get on her but it has been an every time she comes that she disrespects me. So, I told her mother that if she continued to disrespect me that she will no longer be allowed to come. Instead of her getting on to her daughter she started yelling at me that I couldn't do that that this was also her fathers home and she had been coming here before I entered the picture and I said why not I'm the one watching her and she disrespects me. The thing is that my husband works every weekend from 6:30am till really late hours 10 pm n so on and the one who is watching her is me n because he works long hours on the weekends he doesn't get to spend time with her. I have two daughters with him n i like for all three of them to spend time with each other, my step daughter comes every other weekend. So, it has created a big problem. my step daughter used to come every weekend but I thought i was unfair because of the fact that my husband works every weekend n her mother only works every other weekend so she should be watching her daughter not me so I made my husband change that to everyother weekend n for him to pick up his daughter when he got off of work instead of her getting dropped off here to me. what should I do.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 05 December 2011 17:46 posted by Guest

    ADVICE: The thing is that I have a step daughter age 11, I'm married by common law in the state of TX to her father. Her mother and I no longer get along and I dont want her mother to come to my home to drop her off. I have told my step daughters mother that she is no longer allowed at my home and to do things different from now on to prevent any further drama/conflict. My husband aslo told his ex not to come anymore that he'll pick up his daughters at her grandmothers. I want to know how can I keep this woman from coming to my home. I want to get like a restraining order on her or for trespassing. Is there anything I can do? HELP

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 05 December 2011 17:20 posted by Guest

    Ex wifes should appreciate step mother caring for their children: I don't see how you have the audacity to come at this woman like you did. Are you a step-parent? Do you know how difficult it is to be a step parent? You better believe that there is step mother who love their step kids as much as their own. ''The next fun thing'' I wouldn't call her that. There is REAL mothers who would't do half as the things a stay at home step-mom does for their step kids ; even if you had time too you wouldn't. If I was you I would just keep my mouth shut because karma ain't fun. Yes, your right if it does happen that she becomes dads 2nd ex-wife (god forbids) so what, atleast she showed those kids the love and time a Real mother ''can't because she works full time''.Then the step kids will know who was more of a mother to them.

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 04 December 2011 10:14 posted by Guest

    you are an idiot. who are: you are an idiot. who are you to tell someone they are overreacting? have you ever had your life threatened before? i'll bet you're one of 'those' people who would tell a battered woman to stay with her husband.....after all, he said he was sorry. omg. you are so clueless. until you live through total HELL with such a child....shut up! my step child is in therapy and taking meds. guess what.... NOTHING WORKS!!!!!!! i don't think there are drugs strong enough. we now have 2 dead dogs, holes in our walls, he has attacked his dad, been arrested for assault, he has attacked me, destroyed all the precious things my child has made, robbed us blind, told lies on us, etc.... to tell someone they are overreacting because.....??? what??? because the kid hasn't followed through???? is that what it would take. you make me sick. you have NO IDEA what it's like. and then to say 'goodluck' - what the hell.

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 04 December 2011 10:08 posted by Guest

    GOOD FOR YOU!!!! Don't trust: GOOD FOR YOU!!!! Don't trust her AT ALL!!!! My step-son has mental issues. Everyone said I was overreacting - and more times than not, my husbands side of the family would blame me for this kids issues. His primary goal is get back to his mother, no matter what it takes. Well, each year he becomes more violent. on 11/5/11 he beat me up and slammed my head into a wall. I have permanent damage from the attack. I say - SAVE YOURSELF and your daughter. Don't let anyone tell you that you're overreacting. Your life is very important.
    I'm in the same boat, for the most part. My husband is clueless regarding his son. I could write a novel regarding everything I have been through with his son - and it's only been 5 yrs. Even the boys own mother won't let him live with her. Your husband must realize that his future is with you. Once his daughter is 18 she will be gone and having her own life. Is he willing to live alone? What's more important?
    I will so pray for you!
    I am searching for support groups for step mothers. I have not left my husband, but that is the next step. (long story) Be safe!!!!

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 04 December 2011 00:44 posted by Guest

    My step kid : I live in Miami.. My wife lives in panama city fl . She beats her kid . Is there any way I can take my step kid to live with me .

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 01 December 2011 09:41 posted by Guest

    ignorant: I am a stepmother of a 6 year old. I am only 23. My stepdaughters mother is literally a meth addict prostitute who got all 4 of her children taken away (all 4 different dads). I wake up with with my step daughter for school. I make sure she brushed her teeth, her clothes are clean and match, she has her homework that i worked on with her the night before. I am the one that washes her hair, signs her up for school functions, takes her to therapy, fixes her after school snack breakfast and dinner. I am the one does deals with correcting her behavioral problems. (Yes her father does too but i am a stay at home mother of 4 and he has to travel a lot). I am the one who she, by choice, calls mom. i take her to the doctor and dentist. I am not in delusional lala land. this lady and her family has made our lives hell for over 2 years but i still take care of a little girl and take on the mother role that her mother is neglecting. what would you have me do in situation? Treat her like a second class citizen? O and by the way my 1st stepmom and i are still very close and talk everyother day. my father and her have been divorced for 5 years and he is remarried... so there goes your last mean and aweful remark.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 30 November 2011 00:01 posted by Guest

    I agree with everyone else: I agree with everyone else you're overreacting. Teenagers do stupid things all the time to try and get rid of a stepparent. Death threats are going a little far but she just seems like she wants you gone. If you leave you're just giving her what she wants. Maybe you all should go to family therapy to sort it all out.
    Goodluck.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 25 November 2011 21:00 posted by Guest

    hell yes he does. u live in: hell yes he does. u live in his house...its his rules...deal with and straighten ur ass up...thank you

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 24 November 2011 01:16 posted by Guest

    step parent and the rights of the child - brainwashing her while: My daughter said the same thing the (very last time I saw her) I have no intentions unless God heals this that we will reconcile because of her allowing her husband to abuse my 1st Gr.daughter (his step daughter, that he makes her call him Dad) she has a Dady that comes every other wkend to get her for the wkend- MY SIL we will call him " Kyle" verbally and yes in the past physically abused (spanking) my first gr.daughter until she peed her pants. She is 13 now & my daughter - we will call her Suzanne- is getting scared, so she said she wasn't going to allow my granddaughter we will call her Al to go & see her real Daddy and step Mother unless her Daddy is home. That is B.S. (she has a step sister that she loves very! much) she is as much a part of her step Moms life as her step Father is (except her step Mom is an angel)- Kyle seem to rule over Al and obsess over her so much (always on her FB) It really creeps me out- He ignores his real daughter- his son is 2- I would talk to the courts and see if you can get joint custody. She misses you and her time away from her (other family) I guarantee it, my granddaughter told me once she didn't tell her Daddy that "Kyle" abused her because her Daddy would just cry like did. I hae been trying to locate him and will hire a private Investigator if I have too. I use to think the abuse was because he hated me from the beginning & wanted to (punish) me. I was in denial- I just couldn't wrap my head around someone wanting to hurt a child (she was 5 when he beat her) and my daughter married him??? he is also spoiled only a lot more. He is in business with -get this- His Mother - he told me once he would never go to work if he lost his job (lay rock and bricks and hires illegal immigrants--he said " I'd just go ask my parents (YES revolting isn't it). They will reap what they sow!!! they are not near as strong as I am and the day that God vindicates me is the day my life will rejoice. Gods discipline -his wrath means I have to keep my hands out of it- I can report it, but I cant try to do anything but pray about it or I will mess up God promise of vindication and "Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord" & I hv seen it over and over done to other people I promise it is real.
    God has a very special heart for children and if you don't know what the Bible says here it is:
    1 Corinthians 13:4-6---*** Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
    Psalm 127:3-5 ESV / 6 helpful votes
    ****Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
    Ephesians 6:4 ESV / 5 helpful votes
    Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
    I hope somehow I have let you know you are not alone. It is like living a nightmare- and I still don't understand How? she could have gotten wrapped up in someone like this other than they r both a bit sociopaths?
    I love my Allie Cat- Your *E

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 23 November 2011 14:16 posted by Guest

    and if you take that child to: and if you take that child to the doctor and you mess up and dont relay something correctly... you will be in big trouble. There is a reason that bioloogical parents have the rights. STAY in your lane. Nobody is saying we want the step parent not to have affection for the child. Especially as a woman, that is in your nature. but rights...um no....what if the child were dying... they need to call the PARENT not you! The child would want their mom or dad... what if they called you... stop being selfish! Love the child but stay in your lane! There is a thing called BOUNDARIES! AND to everyone...... biological parents want step parents to love our kids... we want everyone to love our kids...but stay in your lane and dont cross boundaries...if the biological parent is unfit...you should have guardianship which gives you rights...if you do not.... then suck it up!

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 23 November 2011 14:11 posted by Guest

    Biological mother: OMG!~to biological parent... you hit the nail on the head.... my son's reformed jumpoff/new girlfriend said she was my son's guardian..even though he lives with me and I supply his needs (all of them). There are some true step parents who care and have been put in situations where they had to (unfit parent); however, the majority don't care and are only trying to impress the dad! I agree with EVERYTHING you said. Her affection for my son is not genuine.. there have been instances to prove it... she even said my son was in her household...but she just got put out of her APARTMENT while me and my son still live in our HOME!

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 21 November 2011 23:16 posted by Guest

    Step-Father: My Step-Father has been "Crackig Down" on me for school and doing little chores. He's always threatening that he's going to throw stuff of mine away like video games and bb guns. and im just wondering does he have the right to do that?

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 18 November 2011 15:57 posted by Guest

    WOW: Regarding the son asking the step mom to use her phone and she said NO....If the boy wanted to call his mom she should have allowed him to call...if it wasnt a good time then she should have allowed him to do it later. Its a control issue and the only one that pays for it in the end is the child....Im not allowed to talk to my kids right now because I refused to pay a cell phone bill every month of 50$. I'm on S.S.I and have a limited income, my support is paid and nothing owing back. What gives her the right to make them delete me from their facebook and not talk to them all for two weeks tell my next week-end......all because she didnt get her own way. My kids are paying the price.......all she does is piss me off........she hurts and stresses out the kids....

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 09 November 2011 10:00 posted by Guest

    I am in the same predicament.: I am in the same predicament. Wondering what my rights are in regards to the stepchild. Does she still legally have to come over or can the mother keep her away from us? Hopefully someone has some insight for us.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 08 November 2011 23:21 posted by Guest

    step mom wants to see step daughter: I have been married to my husband for five years, a divorce was started but we recently reconciled. The reason for filing is my husband is a drinker and let it get out of control, he is currently in rehab and his daughter from his ex girlfriend whom I am very close to has not been able to visit, her mother will not let her come because her "dad" is not present, my husband works and leaves town a lot to go work and I normally pick my step daughter up, now she will not let anyone on my husbands side see her and I need to know what I can do and how I can explain to our four year old twins why they cannot see their sister. What can I do, please help..

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 08 November 2011 20:42 posted by Guest

    tell the boy he is hurting: tell the boy he is hurting you and his father, be honest with him, he is old enough to understand. Your husband likely gets upset with you because he is afraid of what the boy will report back to his bio mother. Unfortunately being a parent does not mean being the favorite. As for the bio mother's behavior, it sounds like she is addicted to pills. If your husband wants full custody, get ready for the longest most stressful battle you will ever fight. Also do not underestimate your husband, he is not weak, he is worn out, you should lift him up. I guarantee he will be a new man is you treat him like one. The ex is not going to make this easy and the law is on her side, every judge, every lawyer and every police officer will believe her over you and chalk up your husband to a disgruntled ex that doesn't want to pay child support. You can't possibly imagine how powerful she is and what she can get away with, but be patient, because the moment she realizes she can do what she wants and get away with it, is when she will slip up. She will get caught and she will pay, and you will get custody, your child support will stop and she will have hung herself. Just enjoy your family, enjoy your son, don't sweat the small stuff and seek a relationship with God if you haven't already. Good luck.

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 06 November 2011 19:59 posted by Guest

    AMEN!!!: AMEN!!!

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 06 November 2011 00:51 posted by Guest

    Wow Lady: Are you kidding me lady...... Do you want the step mother of your children to treat your kids like crap? Its not fair step parents have to be a glorified babysitter to those kids. I am guessing you are happy to take her money to pay for your children though when it comes to child support? Its not fair at all step parents love a child(ren) like they are their own, feed them, provide clothes, shelter, food and all that stuff. But you are going to tell me that a step parent is not allowed to go to a school function to support that child you are out of your mind. Parents have to look at it this way almost all marriages end in divorce and the parents are going to remarry eventually. The step parent should have the right to take the child to the doctors if needed, go to school functions to support that child and not have it thrown in her face that she is not the biological mother or father. Step parents need to get along with the other parents for the sake of the child. I am not saying you have to be best friends or anything but when that child is around you have to get along and no fighting. You can talk bad about the other person all you want when that child is not around. Its not the childs fault that he/she has a step parent they do however have to get along with them to make the visitation go smoothly. So you might as well get along with her.

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 06 November 2011 00:36 posted by Guest

    You are going to have to get: You are going to have to get a lawyer and have the aunt and uncle tell the judge what they want for the child and what is best for the child.

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 06 November 2011 00:34 posted by Guest

    Try for visitation: Seeing that you have a son with this psycho woman you can try and petition the court for visitation of your step son since you are going to have your son part of the time. Its not right to separate siblings. If you have a lawyer try that and see since she is a psycho maybe you can get custody. If the father still in the boys life? If not I would start keeping a log of all the stuff this woman pulls on you and maybe you can fight for custody of the child. But you defiantly need a lawyer! Good Luck

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 06 November 2011 00:27 posted by Guest

    The child support order: The child support order states that a family member has to be there at noon to exchange the kids. So am I still okay seeing that I am his wife.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 03 November 2011 12:17 posted by Guest

    are you serious lady? you: are you serious lady? you seem to have A LOT of issues. So I'm guessing you would want your childrens step mom to treat them like crap? what a great mom you are.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 03 November 2011 12:04 posted by Guest

    the step parent does not have: the step parent does not have to allow your son to call you. do you allow your son to call and talk to his step mom when he is with you? probably not since you hate her also. he was obviously ok and it wasn't anything serious. quit nitpicking at petty situations. no wonder the two of you have issues.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 03 November 2011 11:22 posted by Guest

    Totally Agree: Oh I couldn't agree more. I've got one of those. I left my abusive ex (I was his second wife btw) and he "mother shops" as I call it. He finds new women to watch and care for his kids. He picked up a new, younger and naive one right after I left. She is the primary caregiver and oversteps her boundaries like you wouldn't believe. Oh and don't let me forget to mention she accused me of sexually molesting my daughter during the custody trial. Oh yeah - asked her if her mommy touches her. CPS blasted them both but I will never forgive her for putting my child through the ordeal. EVER.

    Hangs up on me when I am speaking with my child, calls me names, berates me. I am 10 years older than this uneducated tart not to mention a professional woman and a wonderful, primary caregiver to my child.

    Stepmom is now 24, has only worked for my ex since high school and is pregnant with baby #3!. Frankly, it's embarrassing to have this example for my daughter

    Despite her many babies, she still finds time to go out of her way to volunteer at my daughter's school (nowhere near where she lives), and in the context of our history - I'm 100% sure she doesn't do it for my daughter, she only does it only to piss me off. Of course, I smile and pretend to my daughter that I am so glad that she has all of this love and support but - give me a break. If this stepmother really loved my daughter, she'd treat me with respect.

    So, unless a stepmother can be respectful of the true relationship of a biological mother and her child (and yes even if she's not a great mom she's still her mom) and respect those boundaries (that means respecting the CHILD by respecting the mother) then you should rethink what being a parent is all about. It's about selflessness, putting your own resentments aside and loving the child more than you hate your ex OR your ex's, ex-wife. It's hard enough when you are a biological mother to do this but its nearly impossible when the child isn't really yours. If these stepmothers with their "us" babies could try to imagine if - in the future - a stepmom pulled some of this stuff with their kid, we'd avoid a lot of this boundary crossing.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 02 November 2011 13:46 posted by Guest

    If the paperwork states that: If the paperwork states that someone other than the parent can pick the child up then you are okay, if it doesnt than you really don't have the legal right too, that could mean that your husband is giving up his weekend with the child

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 31 October 2011 10:18 posted by Guest

    what r my rights: My son needed to call me this weekend and asked his step mom if he could use her phone, they have no phone in the house and his dad was gone. She told him no. Gave him no excuse but later when speaking with my husband he say's it's because she hates me. (dido)
    Long story short, does she have the right while they're at her house to prevent them from calling me?

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 30 October 2011 00:25 posted by Guest

    Death Threat/ Plot: I have been married to my husband for 8 yrs. This is the 2nd time his 14yr daughter has visited. The last time she came she was 8 yrs old. She recently moved with us bcuz she wanted to go to high school here. However, she has been lying about why she came here and lying about what her parents allow her to do at home. The lies kept coming "I do --- at home" or "I watch ---at home," etc. We finally confronted her w/ her parents on the phone and found that she wasn't telling the truth. She has no respect for my husband and as he tried to discipline her she flat out defied his authority. One night it came to a full blown altercation and I tried to help my stepdaughter, but as she kept disrepecting her dad, I told her that she was on her own. Well, long story short...we were told she wrote a hit list in her diary with a plot to kill me and her dad. At that point I wanted her to go home. The death threat included surveillance, plot and death due date. Of course after that, I told my husband that he needed to take her everywhere he went if he was not going to send her home. I was no longer comfortable in my home with her around. I will not take my medication, blood pressure, or leave drink cups around her. Today, he took her for an assessment and was told nothing was wrong with her and I was overreacting. I pride myself to be a pretty sane woman, however, I do not trust this girl. Nothing wrong or not...I do not want her in my house. I have an 11yr daughter that I'm concerned if she can't make good on threats to me, she may try to hurt her. Her behavior is odd, and I've watched how she treats the dog and other's property and possessions. She has no boundaries. Additionally, she knows I know about the threat, yet she has not come to me to apologize or say I was angry, etc. That bothers me. You see a therapist and come home and walk around the house like nothing happened. My husband knows nothing about this child as he has not really seen her in the last 10yrs. I've taken pictures of the diary and told my closest friends about the situation. My husband is adamant about allowing her to stay, but I am at the point where I will move and leave him so not to be harmed or have my daughter harmed. They say I'm overreacting, but my life is far more important to trust a child I do not know or know what she is capable of doing. I rather be safe than sorry! Unfortunately, there is so much more...I just can't get it all in. Any advice?

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 28 October 2011 17:01 posted by Guest

    By saying that the step: By saying that the step parent cant enforce rules of their house ( as long as it's not abuse) is telling your children that they don't have to listen to adults in general. I honestly believe that if you continue to say things that you will have problems with your children. Your teaching your child that they don't have to pay for what they did. I don't believe in spanking but I have spanked my children depending on what they did wrong. Children have to take responsibility for what they do and if they don't learn this while they are children they may be in trouble when they are adults.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 27 October 2011 11:52 posted by Guest

    what to do with step child falsy accusing: i have been with my guy for 7 years now.six years ago his son moved in with us and i had open arms.the stepsons mom lived in florida an we live in montana.in these six years his mom had only seen him once.threw these years had made promises that she could never keep.the only gifts shes given him was a box of chocolates an stuffed animal for valentines,thirty dollars for birthday,and a cell phone that she could only keep on for two months,that is all in six years.now in august she moved back here;three hours away.she has seen him only 3 times and she took him an refused to bring him back.the last six months his dad has been working in north dakota cause there is no jobs here.he left work to come home an get an attorney an the mother was to return my stepson.now the mother has called cps an said i was abusive;they did there investigation an closed the case.now the dad is back to work and i am here with the stepchild.now the stepchild keeps lying to the dad and says im yelling at him.i have changed all the rules to benefit this child an its almost like i have no rules or control in my own house.i am afraid to even say boo that he will add more lies.i am at the point of leaving my relationship because of this.so confused an so hurt from al this cause i have been the one there for him.the child is 12 years old and knows what he is doin.anyone one with some good advice,im willing to hear it all.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 24 October 2011 23:58 posted by Guest

    I'm on the other side...: So I am on the father's side of things. I have a beautiful nearly 5 year old son. My ex wife and I have joint custody while she was granted 51% custodial custody because at the time of court she made more money than I did. Naturally she uses every bit of that 1% to the max. Apparently that small difference means she can choose where the child goes to school and I have no say in the matter, which I don't believe to be true. Anyways, for the last 2 years I have been engaged to a beautiful woman with a 15 year old son. Her son has taken a liking to myself and my son in a wonderful way. My son is like a little shadow to her son, and we both love every minute of it. My ex and I have custody one week at a time i.e. I have him one week, she has him one week, and so on. My fiance and I both work, and while my son is not in school he is at my parent's house until work is over then he comes home with me. My ex wife has not allowed me to add my fiance onto my son's emergency contact/pick up list from school and I have honored that until the time comes when we get married, then we are going to add her. In the meantime, my ex wife says that she will call the police if my fiance attempts to pick up my child from MY parent's house in the event that she beats me home from work. I don't see how this can be legit, as my fiance usually comes home first and feeds and bathes the kids before I make it home and I don't see a problem with that. Is there some hidden law out there that states that MY fiance cannot pick up MY kid from MY parent's house on MY weeks to take him to MY house?

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 24 October 2011 21:46 posted by Guest

    Biological Mom: Speaking as a biological mother, I'm glad step parents don't have rights and I hope they never do. Women like you, the "super moms" who volunteer at schools and PTOs have that perk only because of the REAL mothers. The ones who supported the POS ex husbands while they worked their way up to the high paying job just to throw us away for the next fun thing. The ones who now have to be the single working mother and doesn't have time for the extracurriculars while you sit at home all day playing house to someone else's children because your new "hubby" makes 6 figures. And I'm so sick of hearing "I love them as much as mine" because if it came down to it and you had to make a choice between your child and mine, you'd pick yours, just like any REAL mother would. Stop whining about rights and be happy you get to see those kids for the time you do because when he dumps you, you won't ever see them again and they won't even care. You'll just be "Dad's second wife". And while your at it, look at your "baby girl" and think about someone else pretending to be their mother. What rights should they have????

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 24 October 2011 07:34 posted by Guest

    stepmummmy in need: hi, im from australia but need some advice if any1 can help me..... im a step-mum to 4 children and mother to 3 so together we have 7 children under our roof, my husband and i married almost a year ago but have been together for 2.5years, my husband has been charged with an internet charge that they have no evidence for but yet are still sending him to jail for the offence for several months, my husbands ex wife walked out on her 4 beautiful children twice within a year and has almost nothing to do with them this year so far has only seen them once and never rings though she has stated that if my husband goes to jail that she will be having the children, is there way to make sure that the children stay with me as thats what they want but are to young to be heard in court and she has stated on paper signed by JP that my husband has 100% care to the 4 children, as their step-mother and their fathers wife do i have any legal right......

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 18 October 2011 14:32 posted by Guest

    A Step Parent is a "Legal Stranger": A step parent is a "legal stranger" to a child and not a legal parent. As such, step parents have very limited to no rights in cases such as schooling and medical care...even in an emergency situation. The biological mother has the right to keep the step mother from intervening in medical issues. The person asking this question needs to consult an attorney for their particular circumstance.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 14 October 2011 04:22 posted by Guest

    You can't adopt without the: You can't adopt without the bio mom signing away her parental rights.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 14 October 2011 04:15 posted by Guest

    reply to "stepchildren": Get another lawyer. You should find one who is willing to fight for you to at least get visitations. It is very possible for you to get them. Your daughter can also speak on her behalf now that she is 12, in front of a judge and it will be considered. I found this article which shows doors being opened. http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1195205,00.html
    Contact your legislatures too, they are the ones that can change laws!

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 14 October 2011 04:09 posted by Guest

    deployed ex: I know it is an adjustment with your child having a new parent in their life, but she IS her parent too now and they are a family, whether the father is there or not. Though she is a new stepmom, hopefully she will be a good one and love and care for the child. Try not to battle her, it is not good for your daughter. She should be told that she is lucky she has a new mom, that is one more parent to love her! the new stepmom will not replace you, she will have her own role and relationship with the child. And I do agree she should have partial custody of the child, whether the father is there or not. They would be a family with him there in the home, they are still a family even though he is deployed and she can bring the child closer to her father while he is away and keep them in contact.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 14 October 2011 03:48 posted by Guest

    StepMother's rights after divorce reply: Read my reply to the post "Update Now 8", it applies to you also.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 14 October 2011 03:40 posted by Guest

    To "Update I am now 8": I take it by the date of your post you had your latest baby. I don't think that was a good idea to get pregnant being in the situation you are in, but that is beside the point now! I hope you have spoken to an attorney or legal aid and filed for divorce and custody. You have a great shot being the only parent in your kids lives. If the birth mother is willing to sign over her parental rights, you can adopt them. Even if you are not able to do that and are not awarded full custody, you should by all means be awarded joint. And your kids can speak on their behalf to a judge and it will be considered. If you get something like visitations, then the father will likely very soon drop out of the kids lives and not care anymore about "winning" and you will be awarded full custody. It will be a battle but one worth fighting and one you surely can win. You have a lot in your favor!
    I'd like to hear an update if you get the chance!
    Take care...

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 13 October 2011 06:35 posted by Guest

    In reply to supermom's post....: You are so right. I have raised my stepdaughter as my very own since she was 22 months old. She is 8 now, and calls me mommy and everything. She knows she has 2 REAL moms, because a real mom is one is loves you, raises you, teaches, helps, and cares for you and is there for you always. I am there for her and more involved than both her dad (my husband) and her birth mother are, and she is my world. It really sucks that stepparents have very little rights when it comes to legal stuff, and hopefully that will change very soon. This article gives me some hope! http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1195205,00.html
    My daughter's birth mother is a bitter jealous woman who always tries to turn her against me and is always throwing in my face that I "Have no rights". Well, the courts are wrong in many ways and I disagree strongly with a lot of their laws, and though I may not have many legal rights as my daughter's parent, I have all the rights as her parent in her daily LIFE, in my daily life, and the life of our family, which is as real as any other family, and that is what matters most.
    That's wonderful that you are such a good and loving mom to your stepkids. They are your real kids and not having the same blood doesn't change that. Don't let anyone tell you any different. Your kids know that too, I'm sure.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 13 October 2011 06:21 posted by Guest

    Not a lot you can do....: You may not like this woman, and for good reason, but she IS allowed to be listed as emergency contact on your sons school forms, as well as doctors forms, since she is his parent now too, and he does live with her, and they are a family now. She also DOES get to dictate when you can speak to your son in her home, because it is her home, and her rules. She is totally wrong for that, but it is her right to do so. Just like if your son was at your house and she called to speak to him, it would be your decision to let her or not.
    You should however, also be listed on your sons doctor's forms and school forms, not just solely her! As for her saying inappropriate things when her husband is not around, that is common and there is nothing you can do about that unfortunately. The best thing you can do, as much as you despise her as a person, is not feed into any games she plays or any nastiness. It makes her look bad and at 13, your son will see that. Control what you have control over, because you can't control her. Be the best mom you can be, and hopefully she will be a good stepMom to your son and add to his life at some point. The worst thing you can do is put your son in the middle. If she tried to do that, that's her problem. don't join her by doing the same. Keep your life with your son separate and don't get caught up in the drama, for your sake and your son's sake. Maybe she will see that you aren't being affected by her behavior and stop, or at least reduce, the nastiness.
    Good luck!

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 04 October 2011 00:40 posted by Guest

    step children: I want to know something. My husband just recently got a new job and he has to work weekends and the exchange of his kids between him and his ex takes place on the weekends. What I am wondering is if I go to pick up the kids does the mother have to hand those kids over to me seeing I am acting on my husband behalf? Also if she refuses to hand those kids over to me is that a violation of the custody agreement?

    Thank you

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 27 September 2011 13:20 posted by Guest

    What a tangled web we weave...: In response to the post, What a tangled web we weave when we practice to conceive...

    I have tears rolling down my face. This is the BEST advice anyone could ever receive. Trust God - He goes BEFORE us in ALL things! My husband and I claim this verse as well:
    And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you. I Peter 5:10.

    You are so right - we have to pray for and love our enemies. And, yes - it takes a committment to do this. It is by far the hardest thing to ever do - to pray for someone that is constantly attacking.

    Just keep loving your children and stepchildren, no matter what happens. The children are the ones who suffer the most.

    God is in control - He may allow things to happen that we don't like, and we may not understand - but we have to remember that He knows the big picture, and He will use all evil against us for our good. Things may not happen on our time, but in His time - He will make all things beautiful.

    Have faith! He goes before us, and He will change lives if we allow Him to!! Thank you for your words. I constantly need reminders.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 20 September 2011 18:08 posted by Guest

    Children: Call social services to do a home check.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 16 September 2011 12:23 posted by Guest

    .: I also did not mention they were never married! He was 17 and she was 16 at the time they never really dated it was a casual encounter.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 16 September 2011 12:20 posted by Guest

    Stepson playing us against each other: I have almost simular situation with my stepson. I have been in my stepsons life since he was 6 months old now 11 1/2 years old, I have raised him as my own. He is a great kid and is very smart. In the last 3 years I have had a very hard time with him since he has began playing his bio-mother, father and myself against each other causing us all to argue. I have about had enough I see this and for some reason his father does not and lets him walk all over him. My husband yells at me in front of him to prove a point because, "I am to hard on him" I don't yell at him I do tell him what he is doing wrong and how to correct it like I always have but he has began using crying the second I start to get onto him that way his dad tells me to stop getting on to him. His father does this in front of him so he has caught on that by doing this I am wrong and there is no disipline given. I feel like I am being treated as the child as well instead of the adult when trying to talk to my husband about this. The bio-mother in this situation is very munipulative, lies to son. She is hardly there for him we pay childsupport as well as prove clothing and anything else he needs. Bio-mother is on government assistance(food stamps, cash assistance) when son was 3 years old she was arrested for stealing 13,000 from a bank she worked at she lied to us and stated someone else set her up but we then veiwed the court documents where she admitted to everything. Every job she gets she stills from them and quits before she's caught. My husband still to this day is a very weak man he cowards down to her a doesn't stand his ground. There has been numerous times when he could have and should have took her to court and recieved custody of the son. I have been to the point that I am ready to just give up!

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 12 September 2011 19:10 posted by Guest

    I think that under certain: I think that under certain circumstances a step parent should have rights. I am a 14 year old girl and all my life my biological father has never been there for me. He has made my life a living hell and has done unforgivable things. My step dad has raised me and made me the strong, smart, and good person I am today that my real father could never done. I think that if there has been restraining order against and earlier charges agaisnt the father he should lose his parental rights. My step father has paid for my dental, medical, and essential needs for over TEN YEARS!!! My biological father even stopped paying child care. For all the kids and teens that have had to put up with crap, if u can get ur other biological permission, u can have ur step parent adopt u. Unfortunately my dad likes the money and wont give up his rights. Asshole is going to court

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 10 September 2011 22:06 posted by Guest

    re:: Depends on what they do. I know when my step child acts up she gets a spanking from me. Kids don't run my house...mine or step.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 09 September 2011 13:36 posted by Guest

    Unless Kentucky has a law: Unless Kentucky has a law against spanking, and unless you can PROVE abuse there is nothing you can do. Im sorry. Im going through the same thing here in Wyoming. Here there is a law that says spanking is legal as long as its not abusive. So the fact that I dont agree with spanking doesnt matter when my children are with their father. If I were you I would look up the state statutes on child abuse and spanking/striking a child should be on there, and go from there. DFS might be able to help you also. Another thing to consider is are they in the same state? If they are in say Tenn. or Indiana then the laws there might be different and you might be able to go that route.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 31 August 2011 00:49 posted by Guest

    stepchildren no rights: I am in a divorce and custody dispute with a mentally derainged unreasonable woman Either histronic, paranoid, or borderline or all above. I've raised my 13yr old stepson since he was 4 months old. We have a 11 yr old together. I am the best of a father to both boys. She has done everything to isolate my stepson for over a year. I see him any opportunuty I can though usually when she doesn't know. I've had custody evaluations in my favor and soon a trial, what a nightmare. I knew she would react to me filing, but not like this. It's a sad situation. He won't even answer the phone when I call as he knows she monitors calls and will brow beat him.
    If your spouse is reasonable and does what is best for the kids, you and all the kids will see each other. If they act out of vengeance and hatred and use children to get back at you, then there is not much you can do....
    He even has my name, and everytime I see him I tell him I love him and I'll always be his father and he is always my Son.
    It hurts me, but I can see it's destroying him. He's depressed and held captive and allowed to play video games 24/7. That's how she controls him. When he gets older he'll probably leave her and never come back.
    The laws are kinda jacked up in Illinois.
    Mentally Derainged people do this to control and hurt people like me the Target, not even thinking or caring that they are hurting their own child. Their desire to get revenge is greater than anything. All or nothing.
    And get this, she's studying to be a lawyer.
    Hope he's reasonable, for the children's sake.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 30 August 2011 17:55 posted by Guest

    Step mom spanking my child: I live in Kentucky and I just recently found out that my sons step mom spanks them. I have told both her and my ex that I will not allow this to continue. He says its his house and he will decided how it is ran. Is there anything I can do to keep her from spanking my kids?

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 30 August 2011 10:29 posted by Guest

    I been aggrevated as for me: I read one of the story here. one of it is similar to mine. The only difference is my daughter left me already because of my husband send her out of the house. and force me toagree with him because she hate my daughter so much.i was so devastated when my daughter pack her stuff. the feeling i had was the feeling of someone who have death in the family. way back 1998 when my husband was hired by one of the company here in U.S. he let me leave my two child to my mother in the Philippines. he said you have to accept it you cannot bring them. my heart was crushed that time but i didnt show him. when i got here everyday im thinking of my children there. we only brought his two children and leave the other two in my country. everyday im living with nightmare. i really missed my children. crying evryday until i got sick, i develop a depression. it was so dark for me. i really missed my children so much. there are times i cant breath because i keep trying to hide my pain inside of me to my husband. until i cant take it anylonger. i told him i need my children here with me. he keep it to me that you can bring your step children here in United states according to the law. its been 7 years since i dont have them. I beg my husband to bring my children here. 2007 January when they got here. and thats the where the problem start. i told myself, since i dont have my children for 7 yrs. i want to recover that years. i dont care if their more than 18 years old. but thats not what happen. everyday was heartbreak to me. seeing my husband attitude towards my children mostly to my daughter. my daughter that time was 16 yrs old. my husband hate my daughter's being so quite. she hate her everytime he see her face. so my daughter always stay in her room. mostly when she knows my husband at home. always like this everyday. until my husband find the way to let her out of the house. just because my daughter attend a new year party with all her friends and went home 1:00 am. my daughter lied to us saying thier manager asked them to stay late to fold those clothes in the stores. we call her job. we learned that manager dismissed her at 3:pm but she went home 1:00am. my husband was so mad and finally found his excuse to kick my daughter out of the house. He called my daughter and saying "Idont want to see you in my house anymore" i was so shock and heart start beating so fast. that night she went home and pack all her stuff. my world was crumble that day. i want to die right away. my husband doesnt care what i feel at all. He said she is not my child and i dont have responsibility to her.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 22 August 2011 19:29 posted by Guest

    step parents rights and disapline while kids are in home: I am a step parent married. If the kids are in your home you have every right to disapline them with no corporal punishments. So giving them time outs( a good one is 123 magic. )Is exceptable. Your fiance should have a parenting plan that states Each parent shall make decisions regarding the day to day care and control of each child while the child is residing with that parent. This excludes the other parent from interfering in your parenting style and if your fiance tells you it is ok to give the kids time outs then it is your right to do so when they are in your house hold and care. Nothing needs to be relayed to the other parent if she is uncooperative. rules apply everywhere, including daycare. The kids do not have a right to tear up or disrespect in your home.

    I have this problem and we just ignore everything she says and we repeat the sentences in the parenting plan until she is quiet. We also ignore her responses on this subject.

    It is hard for a parent to let go of their children and not have a say in anything but she sounds very much in a jeoulous state just like the ex I have to deal with. very disappointing behavior for a parent to portray to her children.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 19 August 2011 19:21 posted by Guest

    Hi, I live in Australia so: Hi, I live in Australia so not sure if you can help. My Ex-husband has remarried to a woman that 5 kids, the first is the care of her mother the next 3 have been permantly removed by what we call DOCS (children services) the 5th was removed at birth last year but has since been returned to her. I have since meet someone myself but we have not married yet "IT" as i call her as i know what she did to her kids and don't consider her human for what she did to them, seems to think that my children dont have to listen to my partner because we are not married and tell them you dont have do what he says hes not your father. but they have to listen to her because she married my ex. my children to my ex are 4 and 6. There was a restriction in the tempory court orders that she be supervised at all times while my children are at my exs house it has been lifted with the final orders and now she thinks she can prance around town trying to rub it in my face.
    She convinced my ex to not return my girls late last year thinking that if they have my girls fulltime it will help her get hers back from DOCS. My other ex that i have a child to also kept his daughter on the same day. They both lost time and got in trouble for colusion. I asked my exs new wife when she picked up the kids without my knowledge that she would be doing the changeover that my 6yr olds teacher has asked she be tutored i have done that but cant afford to pay the full cost and i asked that my ex help pay the cost. she made the lovely comment about child support. a hole $20 a month for 2 kids. I found out that i can get child support to make him help pay for any extra costs that child needs. what i would like to know is what can show this woman to make realise she has as much parental say with my kids as my partner.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 18 August 2011 06:35 posted by Guest

    I have been a step mom for 7: I have been a step mom for 7 years. I have been member of PTO, done extra curricular activities w my stepkis, sign any paperwork, volunteered at the school, etc etc long before I married their dad. I've know both kids since they were toddlers. We're a very close family and have grown since then :) I see nothing wrong with caring for stepkids as your very own. I obsess over then as much as I do my own baby girl.
    However- It is your ex hubbys fault he has not made it clear to his gf that the boy can call his mom ANY time as per court order.
    I don't like "she has no rights" because my hubbys ex thinks that, even after 7 years, and pretty much treats me like I have no rights as a human :/ That's a big prob....

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 13 August 2011 14:29 posted by Guest

    I'm, almost, in the same situation: Has this guy you know been able to make any headway with his "case"? I could really use some advice on this matter myself. My GF had a son of less than 1yr old when we met. Since then her and I have had a son of our own. The oldest is now 6 and the youngest is 3.5 years old. I've found she's been doing some very unsavory things with some VERY unsavory people, and would like to end the relationship, for the mental health of me and my boys. I'm the one that gets the oldest off to school, makes dinner for them every night, etc, etc. (I could go on for some time with this list) I need to find out exactly how I should handle the situation. I live in PA and pretty sure I have no legal rights to the oldest.
    This girl is so whacked even her own parents said they'll testify to the fact that I should have BOTH of the boys.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 11 August 2011 13:18 posted by Guest

    What a tangled web we weave when we practice to conceive. : The legal system is very flawed when it comes to families, and custody. I am on the other side. I am a great mother to four daughters. All of which are my biological children. I am also a step-mother to two children. My youngest daughter is the result of a relationship after my divorce. When my daughter was a year old her father married a woman and moved two states away. That was three years ago. And since that day I have been living in hell. He and his new wife have made accusations that I am an abuser and so is my husband. (I remarried two years ago). I have spent almost 60,000 on attorneys and custody evaluations. I can't even describe how horrible it has been - until I did one thing. But please read all before you read what I did to change it.

    We were almost to the end of this nightmare when the allegations of child abuse started again. The custody evaluator is writing the report in my favor. And he told me the other day that he knew neither me or my husband were abusers. It is the step-mother that is convinced that I am abusing her.

    The step-mother has my 4-year-old daughter call her mommy. She is trying to eliminate me from the picture and usurp my position in my daughters life. She makes my daughter tell people that I hit and bruise her. So each and every time she gets a boo-boo I take video, picts, and description, and E-mail it to an E-mail address that I set-up just for this. When my daughter falls down, or bumps her head on something I freak out, because I know they will take it and twist it around. It has gotten so bad that my daughter tells me that her step-father hits her and leaves bruises. I have two states Child Protective Services involved in this because of her allegations. Note here: My husband and I work at home and own a business together. I am with my daughter 24 and 7 except when she is at school.

    My husband has been living in fear and is afraid of ever being alone with her because of the allegations. She loves him so much. He goes out of his way to make sure that she and my other children are loved and cared for. He loves me and treats me like a princess, and he treats my children the same.

    My ex-husband (father to my three oldest daughters) is an active part of our life. He is at my house all of the time. He has a great relationship with my husband, his daughters and my youngest daughter. My ex-husband and I share 50/50 custody. We never miss a beat in our childrens' lives. My oldest daughter told me one day, "I wish you and daddy acted like you were divorce." My first thought when she said this was "Really? Do you want us to fuss and fight and make your life a living hell?" My ex husband is my greatest advocate. He has met with the Custody Evaluator and has come to court with me. If my ex-husband trusts our children with my husband and me and his my stongest advocate why am I having to go through this.

    I cannot tell you how much hate and contempt that I had in my heart for the step-mother and father. How much I hated God for doing this to me. I have cussed God a thousand times. (Not proud of this I might add.) I am in the process of losing my house because I have had to spend so much time and money on this to protect myself. Words could never adequately describe what I have been through.

    I am a Christian although I have not always acted like one. Recently I made a decision that I was going to change me and put all of my Faith in God. (Note here so that it is not misinterpreted - I am not a bad person, nor have I done anything wrong to my child.)

    I could literally go on for a hundred pages about my story but I wont. But I will give the greatest advice. Something that I did that has helped me more than anything and changed my life. But I tell you it is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I have to do it 20 and thirty times a day. It is a commitment. I can promise that whoever reads this if you do this everyday and every minute of the day you feel overwhelmed, sad, depressed, angry - whatever the emotion that is ruining your life. If you do just this one thing it will change your life, it will change your heart and you will find answers to the problems that you face. But most importantly it will give you peace of mind and heart.

    1. Pray.
    2. Ask forgiveness for your trespasses, your hate and whatever else you feel you must.
    3. Thank God for all the trouble he has brought you.
    4. Ask God for strength, and faith, courage, blessing. To bring mercy. Easy your weary heart. Ask him to turn your fear into faith. And read Ephesians 6
    5. Ask God to bless the children that are involved. Pray diligently for them. Pray for peace for them.
    6. This the hardest and something that none of you will want to do. Pray for your enemies. Bless them, not curse them. Read all of Romans 12. Without a lot of explanation I did this very same thing. I had to do it 30 to 40 times the first time I did it. Whenever I feel hate and anger towards either one of them. I pray a prayer to bless them. I pray for abundant blessings for them. It has changed my heart and my outlook on the situation.

    We are creatures of God. He loves us more than anything in this world. Ephesians 6 saved my life. None of this is over, and it probably won't be for a long time. But now I have peace and faith that no matter what God is taking care of everything - and you know what I have seen it first hand. If you don't have a Bible use google. This is not a bunch of mubo jumbo. It is real, and only those who have done this know it is real. Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, Lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths. I say this verse many times a day. And it works like you wouldn't believe.

    My God bless everyone here.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 09 August 2011 13:35 posted by Guest

    biological mom making it impossible for stepmom : I read your story and my story is simular. I have been married for 3 years to my husband and I have 2 biological children and 1 step daughter. My husband has joint custody of his duaghter and he gets her on Tuesday and every other weekend. I the Step-Mom had to pick her up from daycare every Tuesday and every other Friday due to the hours that my husband works. I have always had a problem with the ex because of the way she talks to my husband and how she does her daughter. I am the one that seems to be in my step daughters corner fighting for her. I have begged and pleaded with the ex to communicate with me and she refuses because I am going to be responsible for her daughter she needs to communicate with me. Well I continue to care for my step daughter cause I love my husband very much. I am like you..... should I stop and tell the parents they need to be responsbile for their daughter or do I continue doing what I do?
    My husband had a rough time cutting the strings with his ex wife he wanted to do things for her but say he don't because I will get mad. He thinks since my ex and I have a good relationship and get along that he should be able to do things for his ex. I said if she spoke to you in a civil manner then it would be a different story but she doesn't. His ex wife lies all the time about my step daughter and it is just a complete mess. I have just come to realize that I need to except on how things are with my marriage because it is a good one the only thing we fight about is his daughter and his ex. I just hope someday the ex will be out of our life for good. :)

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 09 August 2011 09:45 posted by Guest

    Sorry, I meant "rights" not: Sorry, I meant "rights" not writes.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 09 August 2011 09:44 posted by Guest

    You better get a lawyer. : You better get a lawyer. Biological parents have full writes. Girlfriends/stepmoms and dads are "legal strangers" which means that you have responsibilities but no legal recourse without BOTH parents agreeming; this includes all school activities and medical.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 09 August 2011 09:25 posted by Guest

    Step Mom Over Stepping Bounaries: The girlfriend is a "legal stranger." She has responsibilities to be nice and keep your kids safe. She cannot sign permission slips, receive report cards, or be an emergency contact without your written consent. I would recommend the emergency consent only because it involves your child's safety.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 09 August 2011 01:06 posted by Guest

    How do I keep my step children once divorced: I have been married 6 years and my husband had two girls when got married. One on 8 and the other was 3. I have raised these girls because their bioligical mother has not seen them in 4 years. I have signed all their medical papers and school records, I am the one who takes them to the DR., Dentist, and I am the one who attends all the teacher/parent meeting. Recently my husband and I have not been getting along and we are getting a divorce. He is a long haul trucker and is never home. I am sick to think he could take these girls from me when we divorce. I am their mother and care taker. Is there anything I can do to have somekind of custody of my girls? Please if anyone knows anything please respond to this. I can't have them out of my life, they share to much with my other girls which are mine, and their brother which we had together. We are a family and I don't want it broken up. PLEASE HELP ME....

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 03 August 2011 22:32 posted by Guest

    http://www.divorcesource.com/: http://www.divorcesource.com/tables/stepparentcustody.shtml
    Hope this web site helps and also in some cases if you don’t set up visitations in your divorce agreement there might not be much you can do so make sure its on the agreement its that important. I'm going through this right now myself.
    If you have a lawyer they can help you with this more if not go to you local court house and ask for the papers and do it yourself its not to hard and you can ask the courts to wave the fees if u need the help... and if you need help on filling out the paperwork the court house has workshops with lawyers that can help… good luck!

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 30 July 2011 16:25 posted by Guest

    Need help PLEASE: My husband has a daughter from a previous relationship. I have raised her since she was 7 months old. She is now 6. My husband and I have been separated for a year now. My daughter lives with her Aunt and Uncle because her father would not let me have her and he couldn't take care of her. Her uncle has become ill and can no longer take care of her. The father wants his mom to take care of her, but she is in her mid 70's. I want her with me. Her Aunt and Uncle want her with me. Her birth mother wants her with me. How can I get my daughter back? What are my rights? I need help please.

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 24 July 2011 07:34 posted by Guest

    my boyfriends step children: My boyfriend met his ex-wife back in 2004. At this time her two children were in foster care due to abuse in the home. The youngest child suffered from shaken baby syndrome at a very young age, and both children were in the process of being adopted by their foster parents. My boyfriend made a nice home for the family, and was able to provide a safe environment for the children, shortly before their marriage the children were returned to their mothers and his care. The youngest child was 1 1/2 and the oldest was 2 1/2 at this time, they had been visiting their mother and him for several months, and had been introduced to him as daddy. After the marriage it was decided that it would be more cost effective for the family if he quit work and cared for the children instead of them paying for childcare. The bond between him and the children grew. The bond between him and their mother faded, they seperated, then got back together ( mostly because he worried about the children), then eventually his wife began an affair..in another state and even went to that state leaving the children with him, upon returning he found an apartment and moved out. In the beginning she was allowing the children visitation, the oldest not as much as she had a visitation schedual with her birthfather; the youngest child everyother weekend and alternating monday and tuesdays for 4 hrs. Things began to change in the childrens home when the mothers boyfriend moved in..new rules were created, some crule..such as all toys taken away for a month for saying "no" when asked to do something, or being forced to eat leftovers from the previous day if they didnt eat them..this is what lead to the end of visitation..they told him if she didnt eat the leftovers sent that they would end visitation. The day came that they sent food that smelled spoiled and he refused to feed her that food instead he gave her fresh food..on sunday he had to work ,so his mother took her home, when asked if she had ate the food, his mom said no, that it tasted spoiled, 20 min. later he got the call, being told he would never see these children again. He had raised these children as his own esp. the youngest. In our state step parents have no rights..but this needs to be changed esp. if a step parent has had such an impact on a childs life. He loves his daughters, they will always be his daughters! Watching him grieve is heart breaking..but it is the children we worrie about, the mother has been diagnosed as bi-poler, and her new boyfriend has spent most of his life in a psyc. hospital, and is a recovering drug addict and alcoholic, and rumors from friends say he is abusive and controlling. Any ideas as to how to get help for these children?

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 07 July 2011 12:56 posted by Guest

    No that is not what I'm: No that is not what I'm saying. I think your a lunatic and need to get a life of your own too. This step mother has not put herself in this situation. The husband and his side piece have so why should the real familly here be put in jeporady? It sounds as though his wife has done everything she can to keep both parties happy. What do you want her to do ? I did not here any advice come from you at all on this issue. Nobody is interfering with parental rights here if anything I'm suggesting he support and take care of this child. He needs to take responsiblity for his choice to commit adultery and what the reprecussions were because of it. The child is the only one in this case who needs love,care,and support. Not the mother. Are you suggesting she should be getting foot rubs and whatever her heart desires everytime she gets the urge to crack the whip and tug the bio fathers choke chain??? Sounds like the bio mother wants to wear the WIFES shoes and ring. Just because she rolled around in the sheets a couple times does not give her the right to take over a womens family....thus the term "other women". But I'm pretty sure you understand that term very well and as far as restraining orders go...lololololol sounds to me like the obsessed, jealous, and unstable "other women" needs the restaining order to stay far away from the family she CAN'T have yet keeps interfering with. They are the ones who need protection. I believe you are on the wrong wedsite, this is for step parent rights. Its not for venting lunitic boi parents who just want their way and someone elses family. Bye now and I hope you find lots of help on the right website.....LMAO. whatever that may be.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 05 July 2011 23:39 posted by Guest

    Change the possession schedule, not custody! : I dont know what state you live in, but in Texas, Joint custody (Joint Managing Conservitors) does not necessarily mean equal possession. Usually the father is awarded every 1st, 3rd, 5th weekend and one night a week, usually Wed or Thurs. Joint custody means you have equal decision making rights, but one parent is named as Primary Custodian, usually the mom but it all depends on the particular circumstances. You did not mention who is the Primary. Either way, one of the "rights and duties" of each parent, regardless of possession or primary, is the right to receive information from the other parent, anything pertaining to the childs life that would effect the other parents rights and duties. You need to get your hands on the divorce decree and the possession order to find out the details. And, IF has orders like I stated, the mom is in contempt for withholding information needed.
    If the mom is upset that it has turned out that another woman (you) is taking care of her kids rather than their father, she should try and change the possession schedule (which can be done via a mediator, and if both parents agree, a judge won't need to rule). Trying to get sole custody requires a situation where harm or danger to the children is likely otherwise. Without a good reason, a judge won't agree.
    You sound like someone who has willingly taken on a responsibility that you don't have to and you are doing a good job. If I were that mom, and you were good to my kids, I would welcome your involvement, BUT, I would still want the responsibility of raising them the majority of the time rather than a stepmom. -nothing personal, but God blessed me and their father with them and to raise together, with your help, of course.
    Maybe you can suggest letting her take them more often, that lightens your responsibilities and it might make her play nice if she knows you respect her as the mom.
    That's my advice. Good luck! Keep in mind what's in the best interest of the kiddo's!

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 05 July 2011 22:58 posted by Guest

    Is this a joke&: QUOTE: """I think your husband should
    Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Tue, 05/24/2011 - 8:13pm.
    I think your husband should go have chid support put on himself to look responsible for his child and then get him to cut the other women completely not the chid just any and all dealings with the mother. You do all the pick ups and drop offs of visitation which you leagally will have and let her learn that she needs to move on with .....He is the one with the rights and as soon as he cheated and put you in this position you lost your rights. There is nothing YOU can do....sorry but its true."""

    Is this a JOKE?? Are you saying that a stepmother should intentionally interfere with the parents legal rights and duties in continuing to raise together their child?
    Am I understanding this correctly? It's kind of difficult to follow due to the poor English and sentence structuring.

    If I were a bio mother in this case, I would file for sole custody and hold you, the non-parent with no legal rights, in contempt for interfering with my legal parenting rights and I would have a restraining order issued against you.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 05 July 2011 16:21 posted by Guest

    Stepmom oversteppin boundaries: I have a 13 year old son with my ex-husband. He walked out on us when he chose to sleep with at that time my so called girl friend. She was married too at that time and had two kids with her husband. My husband at that time begged me to give her a chance and to befriend her, against my better judgement I did. She was a manager at a fast food establishment so I asked that my unemployed husband at that time get an interview. So I actually met her first, she agreed and there is where hell broke open. We went on a family vacation together including my 9 month old son and her husband and children. She interviewed my husband and hired him. She began coming around spending time with me and my family. I had to have surgery on a broken ankle suffered from working with Developmentally Disabled Adults, she start transporting my husband to and from work due to me not being able to drive. Eventually he start disappearing and she start needing him to help her with things around her house. I later found out that she had found out her husband was cheating on her, and cried on MY shoulders. One night after her brother-in-law came to pick him up to help put dirt around her pool so I could give MY husband a swimming party for his birthday he never returned that night. I had my small child and no transportation due to my foot being in a cast I ended up having our roommate at the time to drive me to her home where she hid him in the bathroom. Now we are divorced and she is married to him and OVER STEPS HER BOUNDARIES OFTEN where my son is concerned. She go to the school and do paperwork, they list her as emergency contact, HER name and number is all the doctors and school has. ( HELP ). My son has temporarily been placed in their home due to some legal issue dealing with my adopted daughter. She says inappropriate things to my son when his Dad is not around, she try to dictate when I can speak to my son on her homephone because it was her home and her phone when she was married to her ex husband. No one is hearing me when I say SHE HAS NO!!!! RIGHTS....

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 02 July 2011 00:50 posted by Guest

    Hello to both of the women in: Hello to both of the women in these horrible situations. My heart cries out for you both. I can't imagine what your life is like. I came upon this site looking for info for my own situation, which I felt was dire, only to read your stories and realize that I've got it good. I want to commend you both for being exceptional human beings and mothers. It is people like you that restores my faith in the human race. I am a Bio-mom with 3 girls and I married a wonderful man who is a great father to my girls. My problem is that my ex is everything that the men you describe the fathers of your children to be minus the physical abuse the children. However, he is emotionally neglectful and for most of their lives an absentee, drug addict parent. He still sees my girls on a supervised basis at his grandmother's home every other weekend. My husband wants to adopt my girls and we worry what would happen if something ever happened to me. I recently had a cancer scare, thankfully we caught it early and I will be fine but we worry about where our girls would go if I wouldn't have been. I don't want my ex raising my kids they are 6, 12, and 13. I want to thank you for posting about the defacto parent and congratulate you on your thesis. I would love to know about any progress you might make. I agree with you that some Step-parents should have the same rights as legal parents. I think that its such a sticky situation and the courts are just now starting to realize that there is wide gray area when it comes to this. However, there should be some kind of stipulation for people in situations such as you find yourselves and hopefully the law will catch up with this problem. Keep trying and maybe try to get some kind of publicity for your thesis, you could set a precedence with a legal case. So keep trying to find legal help. Both of you keep your chins up ladies. One day your children will thank you for all that you've done. My payers are with you.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 28 June 2011 09:31 posted by Guest

    Step Mother: I have a niece (Karen) that means the world to me and i take her care very seriously, she is 3 years old and full of alot of life. My brother and the biological mother are seperated, never married but they have a parental agreement with the child of joint custody. My brother currently got married to "someone he really doesnt know" this girl he dated for a few months when he was 15 years old. He hasnt talked to her 10 years, hes 25 now and they found each other over the web. She came up for a few weeks to see the family again and make sure they really wanted to get married. The catch is she also has a 3 year old little boy that she has full custody over. They just currently moved up to Washington to live with my brother and my niece. The problem we are running into is that she came here and started telling my family what to do and what we can and can not do with my niece. Telling "my parents" the grandparents that they can not hold my niece when she was sick and basiclly bossing my mother around, when my parents raised my niece and is basiclly alive because of my parents. Also telling my family we can not see Karen.
    My question is, can the step mother come in and start telling us what we can do with my niece and tell us we can not see her?
    I watched the video, and from what I got out of Step Parents is she legal couldnt do that, is this correct? I would like to have the right information so I can share it with the family and the step mother if she gets out of line again.
    Thank you,
    Nichole Hughes

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 24 June 2011 18:38 posted by Guest

    soon to be step mom: my fiancee was living in a building where all men live there. He was not aloud to have kids there ,I open my home for his weekend visits all was well till kids told mom what fun they were having. mother started sending hateful letters, tried to get pertection order on me judge thre it out as i was well know in community. Told me id never be mom, its been a roller coaster. She has told kids now to disresect me and we had them this weekend and she violated the call portion of the divorce papers kept texting them taking them away from dad on fathers day, got the one child so upset he was beep red. were not married yet, its my home. this women called emergency hearing stating her sons were allergic to cats, had no medical documentation to back it up we rquested test, found son was mildly allergivc but we have never seen any allergy signs and were both in medical field. I was forced to give up my cats. Now Im to sit back and let kids disrespect me and my children and house. what rights do i have. I feel as with all children who visit my house they are exspected to follow the rules of the house and the adult in it. there mom says they dont have to. help I love this man but have had it with the ex. helppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 22 June 2011 11:36 posted by Guest

    Update..... I am now 8: Update..... I am now 8 months pregnant and under terrible stress. I confronted my husbabd about a divorce and he laughed at me. That made me feel great as you can imagine. He then said he would take my boys from me, like I didn't see that one coming. He wants to insure that I won't take any childsupport money from him or that he won't have to pay for my car payment or rent. He is being very cruel to me. He wants to take the 2 payed off cars, rv, boat, hot tub, entire gym, the dog and I quote..."ALL MY MONEY". The funny thing is we have no money. He is talking about his paycheck. I live in a town of 1200 people and we don't even have a grocery store. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a job around here. I am so depressed and stressed out I'm having another son in a month and my hole world is falling down around me. My boys keep saying they are old enough to tell a judge where they want to live, but unfortunatly as I tell them they will have no choice due to the fact I'm not their blood parent. I don't want anything from him just all my boys . He says how would it make him look to leave them here. I asked him why he only cares how he looks to people it never stoped him from leaving us before. Its not about him its all about our boys. He just can't look past himself. He is abusive,a drunk,he just got out of prison 2 years ago for assult with a deadly wepon, he ignores us all 24-7,and uses my boys as though they are work slaves from the time the sun rises to the time "after" it sets. He doesn't think their schooling is important, and they shouldn't play sports "even though they love playing all sports". Because to him its a waste of time and waste of money and there is plenty of work to be done at home they don't have time for sports or homework. All of my boys are straight A students and one of them even tested in the top two of the united states for gifted and talented. With not even a "good job son" from his dad. My boys need eachother and I'm not gonna lie I need them tooo. I don't know how I'm gonna make it through all of this. I feel like there is NO hope!I'm soooo tired of playing this game with him. What am I going to do?

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 15 June 2011 13:03 posted by Guest

    I'll pray for you: I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know that there is not much I can do, but I will pray for you. I am currently living in NC. I brought my daughter down here to visit family last june and we have refused to go back to MI. I am living the single mom role and life is finally starting to look up. However; like you I cannot divorce or she will be taken away from me. The government will not allow me to put her in school since I am not her biological parent. I have been forced to homeschool her while trying to stay in school myself and work full time. My husband has gotten to the point that he never wants to talk to her. He has even told me to leave the little B****. He has also told us that he is going to come in our sleep and kill us. We just go one day at a time and pray. The only thing I have on my side, is God.

    Just something you can look into. I had to write an argumentive piece for school and I wrote about our situation. My thesis: Actively Responsible Stepparents Deserve Equal Parental Rights to Their Step Children. My teacher and whole class went crazy. That was a week ago. Now I have all but two on my side. Something I have learned in my research is whats called a De Facto parent. You should check into it. I think it is going to be my ticket for a new life and maybe it can help you. Here is a link: http://definitions.uslegal.com/d/de-facto-parent/ I can't get the actual link I want as it is on my school website and you wont be able to access it. Here is my e-mail Ntivewomn@gmail.com you can e-mail me if you want and I will copy and paste the information to you.
    Sorry for what you are going through.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 09 June 2011 01:18 posted by Guest

    I disagree as both a: I disagree as both a stepmother and a mother. As a mother, as long as the children are happy the parents can be happy. I have no problem allowing someone else to help with my children if it allows my children to see their father as well. His role isn't any less important due to the fact that he is at work. As a stepmother, this is a much more complicated role. Many mother's do not appreciate the fact that being a step parent is much more difficult than being a biological parent. As a biological parent, it is assumed. As a step parent, it is proove it and proove it again. Such a sad thing really that so many mothers feel threatened by a step parent. I would never do anything to try to alienate my step child's mother. I know my role and where it ends as long as his mother is in the picture. I would never fill those shoes and I know better. The mother needs to get over her own insecurities. The father will eventually get more favorable employment and there is no need to uproot children due to a mother's insecurities. Period. The kids are happy. Leave them alone.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 09 June 2011 01:11 posted by Guest

    @biological mom making it impossible for stepmom: I can completely understand where you are coming from... I hope you didn't take that other reply to heart. The children are the important ones here. Not mom or dad or you. I am not trying to sound hateful here. If the children are happy spending time with you while dad is at work and dad gets to see the kids more because of what you do, then power on!! No you should NOT give up. She is hurting her children by being so selfish and with a long future ahead of you, they will eventually see that. Find a way to circumvent her when it comes to getting information about practice etc... so that you don't have to rely on her. Continue to pass on info the way you normally do. Eventually they will see what she is doing, or she will give in and stop being such a ykw. I wish you the best of luck. I see it's been a while since you wrote this. I hope you see this and feel empowered. Gosh, I know where you are and trust me, giving up is definitely not the answer. Especially when the judge ruled in your husband's favor! It was a fair ruling as far as I'm concerned. I am a mother, step mother twice over. I am a mother who deals with a cruddy step mom who will do anything to poison my daughter against me. I have always, always, done everything I can to undo damage caused by my daughter's dad and stepmom. My daughter now sees them for what they are. I am a stepmom and deal with a mom who doesn't want me around at all. She doesn't support my role as a stepmom and goes so far as to tell my stepson he doesn't have to listen to me. That caused some serious problems. I can't give up. If I give up, it will affect my stepson for the worse. He would end up having an issue with authority figures and the list will get bigger and bigger. Stand by your decision when it works for the benefit of the children. If it doesn't, step back and reevaluate the situation and find where your emotions are clouding your judgment. Once you remove your emotions from the picture, think of what is in the children's best interest. Then move forward. Good luck to you. God bless.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 25 May 2011 17:44 posted by Guest

    Hello and I am sorry to hear: Hello and I am sorry to hear your story. I am the writer of the stoy a few under you...my story I different from most on this sight......till now. I do understand exactly what you are going threw do to the fact I have been living it too for about 12 years. The only reason I have stayed in this marrige all these LONG years is for my children. All I keep hearing is that's basically my only choice. It is no secret to my husband or children. I kept thinking I could hang in there long enough for them to grow up happy and healthy..... I wanted to teach them what a real family was and that everyone doesn't leave or mistreat their loved ones. How could they ever stop the cycle if no one taught them different. Somehow the days seem to get longer and longer though. For us all. Daddy knows he can do, say,act,abuse mommy any way he wants because she will NEVER leave "us" behind. My husband has told me many times he knows when the boys are big I will leave him. My kids say when they move out they want to take me with them. Its to the point they won't stay the night with friends or grandmaw because they fear leaving me alone with "him". I fear him to take our new baby and run while I sleep. I always keep a phone under my pillow at night because I never know what will happen next. Unfortunatly there are no protective laws for myself or my children. I never call them my step children because I am their mother. There are no laws for us just prayer and faith. I wrote my story on this sight hoping for help from anyone. I live in texas by the way I guess that says it all as far as laws...lol . Nobody ever offered help to me here. I say keep searching other sights. This seams to be for people to vent not to give real help or advice. There is a huge difference between those of us that have been there for the first word,first step,potty training,first day of school,nightmares,booboos,first crushes, and lifes huge let downs....then those tthat stuck around a couple of years and want out of spit to take kids that aren't theirs. These children are ours and they are all they have ever knows. When a short marrige doesn't work out MOVE on... when you put your life on hold for ALL of their 8-12 years of life unselfeshly then the rest of you rookies can understand what the long haul means

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 25 May 2011 16:33 posted by Guest

    a loosing battle: I am the step mother to a beautiful little girl. I met my husband when she was only 8 months old and we were married when she was two. Since our marriage, my daughter and I have lived a rough life. My husband is abusive to the both of us. When I tried to leave he threatened to kill our daughter. Anytime he did not get his way, he would threaten to take her into Canada and "dump" her out. I really love her and want to adopt her. According to the law, the biological mother has to be contacted. All I can find out about her is she resides somewhere in Canada and is a drug addict. I have been unsuccessful in contacting her. In the past 3 years, we have moved 22 times. He refuses to work and when I work full time he steals my money and sells our things for cigarettes and alcohol. Last year my little girl begged me to help her run away. She was 7! We came to visit my family and have refused to go back. He is okay with it. It’s just a matter of getting him on his good days. He calls about once a month to talk to me but doesn't want to talk to her or have anything to do with her. June makes a whole year that we have been alone. I am not allowed to enroll her in school because I am a step-parent and the biological parent does not reside in the household. He signed papers for me to have her but refuses to go to court in front of a judge. Without custody signed by a judge I am forced to home school. Now being a single mother and trying to work, home schooling is quite difficult. She is now 8yrs old and has never really been around children to make friends. There is one boy I babysit that she sees. My child needs some normality. How can I get custody of her? How can I put her in school? If I divorce him, then it is kidnapping. I have tried to seek legal help and they checked into it and told me everything would be fine, but Jan 19th I received a letter saying that they could no longer help me because there were other people more qualified. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. We just want a life.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 24 May 2011 21:13 posted by Guest

    I think your husband should: I think your husband should go have chid support put on himself to look responsible for his child and then get him to cut the other women completely not the chid just any and all dealings with the mother. You do all the pick ups and drop offs of visitation which you leagally will have and let her learn that she needs to move on with her life and make her own family. That situation would have ended my marrige from the start....there is not enough lopve in the world! How would it be even a tiny bit fair to sit back and be pushed out of your own family.....he has a choice to make between you and her. And you have a choice to make to. Do you want to spend the rest of your life feeling like ther OTHER women? He is the one with the rights and as soon as he cheated and put you in this position you lost your rights. There is nothing YOU can do....sorry but its true.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 23 May 2011 15:30 posted by Guest

    Hello,
    Me and my husband: Hello,
    Me and my husband have been married for 11 years and last year I found out that he had an affair and got another woman pregnant. I happen to be pregnant at the same time and the kids were born 7 months apart. Since then my husband and me have patched things up and I have forgiven him. I have been doing my best to give this woman her respect as a new mother. She has made many demands from my husband. They agreed in writing to a certain amount of support each month. She has changed that as well as have required of him on call when it comes to decorating and assembling baby items. Her daughter has been welcomed into our family including visiting everyone, except me. My kids have gone to visit her; she has been at my in-laws, as well as brother and sister in law. My son was recently in the hospital and she visited with her mother and all was well. On my husbands last visit we all went and I have held her before but this time when we left, her mother had a problem with it. She basically wants me out the picture so she is changing everything she agreed upon with my husband. She wants the family experience minus me. So I guess my question is do I have any rights to see this child legally? She is a very sweet little girl and I want to welcome her to the family including pictures and her being at our house. We are thinking about taking this to court. What should I do?

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 21 May 2011 14:52 posted by Guest

    Unfortinatly you marry you: Unfortinatly you marry you also marry the spouses children as well. I was the very difficult step daughter when my mother married my step father when I was 13. You have to remember that its not as easy as we would like to start a new family with older children. I am now 31 and the writer of the story under yours on this sight. My step father turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me in my life although I didn't feel that way at first. I was rebelious and trying to be in control at all times. He never gave up on me even after all the bail money,late night pick up calls, even driving across the state repeatedly to rescue me in the middle of the night with a broken down car. My real dad was no dad at all and he earned that title in my life. Nobody ever said parenting is easy but someone has to be MAN enough to do it. It will be rewarding maybe not now but I promise you it will mean everything to her some day. It is not an option to force a mother to choose between her children and u. Not to be harsh but you will NOT win. She's looking for attention give it to her. Be stern lay down the rules, which she will test you on, and stand your ground with her mother at your side. She will come around just not right away.... good luck to you and god bless you and your family!

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 21 May 2011 13:53 posted by Guest

    Step Parents rights: I am having issues with my wife's 14 year old daughter, my step-daughter. Last year, we moved to another city and ever since the move, my step-daughter has become distant from myself and her mother. Also, my step-daughter has got into trouble at school and with the police. My wife informed me she will take care of the situation, but she has been lienient with disciplining her daughter. I have reached a point where I want the child out of the house. I have told my wife her daughter can live with her father, who lives in the area. But, my wife refuses to let her ex husband take custody of the child and I believe he does not want custody of the child due to her deliquient behavior. Can I force the child's father to take custody? Or am I stuck with having my step -daughter live with her mother and I? What options do I have? (And I have considered divorce)

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 20 May 2011 14:25 posted by Guest

    My case is different from: My case is different from that of most on this sight. I have been married to my husband for 12 years. When I was pregnant with my first child in 1999. My husband who did not tell me he had two children, boys 1 year old and the other 1 month old, with a girl he dated before we met got a phone call in the middle of the night telling him they were sitting out on the curb waiting for him to come pick them up.....over 16 hours away from where we lived at the time. She told us , knowing we were newly married, to come get them that she couldn't deal with them any more. We left the next day and picked them up with nothing. Still shocked at the BIG supprise of my husbands lies to me about all of this. We brought the boys home. My husband took off on us all shortly after we came home. He was not there when our child was born he has popped in and our of our lives but we are still married. He has been horribly abusive in unspeakable ways even tried to shoot me in the head. I have had a steel plate put in my jaw to hold it together after he broke it in 2005 in four places. I have always had 100% of all MY boys whom are now 13, 12, 11 and a new baby boy on the way in 3 months. I AM ALL my kids know in the way of any parent they have ever had. Their father is cruel and I am only 31 I can not take it anymore I want a divorce I just keep being told there is nothing I can do to protect my children or keep them because I "am not their BLOOD". What does blood really mean??? I have shed enough BELIEVE ME trying to give them everything good that the world has to offer. What do we do? Help

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 18 May 2011 11:29 posted by Guest

    What are my "our" rights : I have been married to my husband for now almost eight years. When we met he had a two year old boy. When we married, my husband and I worked in the same area but after a year, his company moved him to different states for his job but, he still came home on the weekends he had his son and if not then I always got his son and took him where he was working. His ex was not married when we got married but shortly got engaged and during the time of her planning the wedding, I would keep my husband's son, my step son, extra days for her to do her planning for her upcoming wedding and to help out with the changed schedule during the week, my husband is suppose to get his son once during the week when it is his upcoming weekend and I continued to do this even though my husband was out of town to stay abreast of the schedule and keep his son in a routine. Since we have been married, we have always had my step son in church, she did not until after we had him in church for over a year. When she did attend church we changed to her church and left ours to keep my step son in a routine, he began having behavior issues and acting out at home and in school. My step son since kindergarten has always had an attitude at school, had bad behavior, and not a real structured routine at home. We have tried to work with his mother in every way possible to help with my step son and his behavior, routine, and whatever else so that he will have discipline and good morals. We enrolled my step son in karate to help with his behavior and so that he would have a sport and learn discipline and respect. This has been also a struggle because the agreement was that his mother would make sure he went twice a week, it ended up that he maybe went once a week and then sometimes he didn't go at all and we not only pay child support but for all his karate fees and all his equipment and travel needs for karate. He now attends three days a week and I thought a schedule was worked out, to date it has changed. My husbands ex is now and has been for the past six weeks on bed rest for her current pregnancy, she cannot take my step son anywhere or do anything. I have offered to help and have over the past three months picking my step son up for karate but now that she is home bound for the remaining of the pregnancy, I have been told I do not need to help or do anything over the summer. Everything I say or do is taken out of content, not matter if all I am trying to do is help. So my question is this, with my husband out of town working during the week, do I have any rights to help bring my step son to karate classes and keep him in a structured routine when she is not able or capable of doing so? Can my husband sign a Special Power of Attorney while he is out of town for me to get his son, as I have been doing over the past almost eight years?

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 16 May 2011 23:00 posted by Guest

    stepparent rights child custody: my husband has a four year old son from a previous relationship. his ex has had child services on her for about 2 years and my step son was almost taken out of her care and put into a foster home 2 months ago. my step son has stated numerous times that he doesnt want to be with his mom, instead he asks to be with me and my husband all the time. his mother has been an unfit one since he was born and most of the time she denies my hubby visitation, sometimes for months at a time, even though hes the one supporting his son. my hubby is currently deployed but i do have power of attorney. i dont want him to end up in a foster home. since last year i have been buying all my step sons clothes and anything else hes needed. and now his mother wants me to buy him a new bedroom set. she is not supporting him at all and treats him horribly. what can i do?? can i get temporary emergency custody?

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 13 May 2011 17:37 posted by Guest

    She is the mother and should: She is the mother and should be able to have the kids if the father is unable to personally be there with them. Consider how you would feel in her shoes. If she is available and willing to be with her children when their father is at work, then she should have them. As a mother yourself you should understand wanting to be with your own children and how you would respond to someone who was not the parent standing in your way. It may happen to you one day and its doubtful you will appreciate it.

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 03 April 2011 10:14 posted by Guest

    Do I have rights as a step parent?: My husband was deported to Mexico 3 years ago and we had main custody of his son. After he was deported i had given my step son back to his mom at her request. He is 9 years old now and i have been in his life for 7 of those years. I have taught him english, to read and much more as well as the only one that ever took him to doctor apts. I had also lived with the mother to help her for a year and half. I have a 6yr old son and that was her reason for me living with her so the boys could be with each other. Since she has been married she started denying me visitation with him. I am not sure if i have any rights to try and get legal visitation or even try to get custody. She has a new baby and i found out that is the main reason she wants him around is to help with the baby. She lives in a two bedroom apt with her husband and son and 2 daughters. I would like to get custody of him so he is able to live a childhood but not sure if i even have the right to try and take it to family court. If there is anything i can do please provide me with the info.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 01 April 2011 22:49 posted by Guest

    I agree.: Parents--biological or otherwise--should never step out or stop being parents because an ex doesn't want them to partake in things. Whether any ex likes it or not, they are all part of the family. More often than not, it's nearly impossible to have all parties step back and actively realize they are the adults in the situation and have the responsibility to behave that way. My husband's ex refuses to, there's nothing I can do about that. She only agrees with him when it suits her current mood or situation and she never puts anyone before herself, least of all their son. It's hard. I only want what's best for my step son, the same that I do my own son, whom I've raised on my own up until now. It's entirely frustrating. Since this child has been in my care, there has been an incredible change in his behavior, the fits have stopped (at least at our house), he has learned manners, and we're working on the deeper rooted behaviors...consistency is really all we have and he only gets that when he's with us. The special power of attorney will help, but not really where it matters. All we can do is what we know to be best for the children, understanding that -sometimes- we will only have people fighting us with teaching values and raising respectful, loving children. I recommend Love and Logic teachings, they have books, but there is a website. Also, I found a cd that you can listen to in the car, Family Times (www.familytimes.org) its a Christian oriented company and the one that I bought teaches patience through a story with a variety of voices that really got their attention. They actually enjoy listening to it and when I ask the boys to tell me what patience is their response is now "waiting until later for what you want now". I love that they are retaining it all so well. Anyhow, we can only do our best and our best is what we must do. That is what I tell the children and that is what we need to emulate to them through our actions. (just try not to get bitter or spiteful! It's hard when someone is seemingly or blatantly attacking you, but the only thing that you can control is yourself.)

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 29 March 2011 10:06 posted by Guest

    STEP PARENTS RIGHTS: I AM LOOKING FOR ADVICE I AM THE FIRST AND ONLY WIFE. MY HUSBAND AND I HAD OUR DAUGHTER IN AUG OF 2003. I RECIEVED A PHONE CALL IN JULY OF 2005 STATING MY HUSBAND WAS GOING TO BE CONTACTED BY THE DIST ATT. OFFICE TO GO THROUGH DNA TESTING FOR A 1 YEAR OLD BOY. (THIS MEANT HE HAD AN AFFAIR TWO WEEKS AFTER OUR DAUGHTER WAS BORN THAT HURT) AFTER THE TEST CAME BACK HE WAS THE FATHER OUR MARRIAGE WAS QUESTIONED BUT WE STAYED TOGETHER. I STOOD BY HIM THROUGH COURT AND HE WAS ORDERED TO PAY SUPPORT AND GET VISITATIONS. THAT WORKED UNTILL RECIENTLY AUGUST 2010 WHEN HE WAS GIVEN CUSTODY OF MY STEP SON DUE TO THE MOTHER NOT BEING ABLE TO AFFORD OR CARE FOR HIM SHE IS A SINGLE PARENT OF 4 NOW AND IS VERY POOR. SINCE HE HAS LIVED WITH US I TAUGHT HIM TO READ (UPON ENTERING 1ST GRADE HE KNEW 2 LETTERS) AND I HAVE SUPPORTED HIM ALONG WITH TREATING HIM EQUAL TO MY DAUGHTER MY HUSB IS OUT OF WORK AND THE MOTHER HAS MADE OUR LIVES A LIVING HELL WE HAVE BEEN IN COURT 4 TIMES SINCE HE MOVED IN. SHE GETS TO PICK HIM UP EVERY WEEKEND AND MOST RECENT COURT DATE SHE ASKED FOR ALL SCHOOL BREAKS ALL HOLIDAYS AND ALL WEEKENDS. MY HUSBAND SIGNED TO AGGREE I AM VERY DISSAPOINTED HE DID THAT SO I HAVE NO SAY SO? BUT I AM SUPOSED TO SUPPORT AND TEACH HIS LOST SOUL EVERYTHING. I PUT MY ALL INTO HIM AND SHE DOSE NOTHING FOR HER OWN SON. THIS SYSTEM HAS TO HAVE A LOOP HOLE TO HELP ME. I HAVE BEEN HERE ALL ALONG AND I LOVE THIS CHILD AND ONLY WANT THE BEST AND TO SHOW HIM A BETTER WAS OF LIFE AND SHE HATES THAT. I USED TO BE ON SPEAKING TERMS WITH HER I SWALLOWED MY PRIDE I HAVE EVEN HELPED HER WITH MONEY WHEN SHE WAS HOMLESS I HELPED FIND HER A HOUSE AND SHE IS UNGRATEFUL FOR ALL I HAVE DONE.THEY DONT LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE OF MY STEPSONS FUTURE AS I DO I JUST CANT STAND BACK AND DO NOTHING ADVISE ANYONE?????????????PLEASE HELP

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 17 March 2011 22:22 posted by Guest

    Stepmothers rights after divorce: I am seperated from my husband of 4 years. he kicked me and our three year old out while i was 7 months pregnant. he has not tried to even make contact with me and I had the baby a week ago. He has a 12 year old daughter that I took care of the entire time cuz of his work schedule and his drinking. We got custody of her 3 years ago after i pushed the issue. It was an easy decision for the judge in what i consider to be the worlds shortest custody case. Do I have any rights to go for custody of his daughter since he has emotionally abused and negelected her since we seperated and he has also cut her off from everyone since they blame him for what he did to me. His family included. I just dont want to watch her get the raw end of everything because of his stupidity. Does anyone know what my rights would be?

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 17 March 2011 08:28 posted by Guest

    You should do what you feel: You should do what you feel is necessary to change the situation and if your husband has a problem with it tell him to solve the problem his way or you will continue to solve it how you see fit. If she is in your house she will do what you say and demand that he show you some respect as his wife. You shouldn't have to compromise your own comfort or the well being or YOUR children. Its a different situation when your kids are being subject to hurt because of her and to me its unacceptable..protect yours as he does his and hopefully he will see that a marraige is a partnership not a monarchy. From now on parent his kids as you do yours regardless of what he says and if he doesn't allow you to do so then tell him that you are unable to care for his child if she is "invincible" for lack of a better word

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 17 March 2011 08:14 posted by Guest

    Same situation..boyfriend has: Same situation..boyfriend has a daughter and the mom is a wack job...get a power of attorney for a minor child" and it will solve all of your problems...you can print it online but it has to be signed by a notary public to be legal...and the mom doesn't have to sign but obviously someone does so have your husband sign. It doesn't take rights away from either parent, it just gives you the power to be a parent and make legal decisions for anything concerning the child. Give a copy to the kids school and doctor and you keep one

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 17 March 2011 07:58 posted by Guest

    hope this helps: I understand. I'm not married but I have been with my boyfriend for a year now and he has a 2 yr old daughter with a difficult mom...the best thing for you to do is to have your husband to sign a "power of attorney for a minor child" its free and u don't have to go to court and the mother doesn't have to sign. It doesn't take any rights from either parent. It allows you to make decisions if for any reason the parent cant at the moment such as work or out of town or anything..you will be able to make school decisions and doctor and whatever else and you wont need the mom. It must be signed by a notary public and you have to renew it every 6 months but it beats dealing with the mom if she is being difficult. Oh and you are supposed to give a copy to the school and to the doctor and places where you will use it frequently. Its better if they have it on file instead of you taking your copy everywhere

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 15 March 2011 15:58 posted by Guest

    Pls. give me some good advice: Hi, I've been married with my husband for 4 years and dated for a while before we got married. My husband has 2 daughters from different mother. When the kids visits us i am the one who basically takes care of them because my husband has to work. We were fine when they were younger age 9 and 11, now they are 14 and 16 its a different situation they became so distant, by the way they have total opposite personality the other one is introvert and the other one is extrovert. It looks now that they are a team and everytime they come over they want to get the full attention of their father, wants to do act that inly involves the three of them and doesnt want to be bother by me and our daughter. WE have a 19 month old baby who is very sweet but everytime they come over they dont want to play with her but when their father is around they play with her. I am so confused i dont know if its normal for me to feel depressed and very upset with the way they are treating my daughter and the response i am getting from them.
    pls. help me.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 01 March 2011 00:50 posted by Guest

    They would grant her a: They would grant her a restraining order against you- IF there was a definite reason she was in danger when she was in your presence. For instance- if she is scared you will hurt her or start a fight with her... etc.
    Can she get a restraining order against you regarding the fact that you show up to her children's school?? Absolutely not. No one can prevent you from going anywhere. It's a free country and that's your constitutional right to show up to the school.
    Trying to discuss issues with her kid's teachers... thats a different issue. They are not your kids and you do not have legal custody and therefore no right to private info.
    Showing up to PTO, games, class plays... etc., SHE CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT IT. :)
    Good luck!

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 01 March 2011 00:39 posted by Guest

    yes. they would contact the: yes. they would contact the biological mother, and if she decided to do so, she could show up to court the day you are scheduled to appear for your own custody case. She would be granted permission to defend herself and to prove that she still wants to be the child's mother.
    In cases like this, (the mother or father who ran away and left the child with the other parent) the absent parent will not even show up to fight your request.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 14 February 2011 13:41 posted by Guest

    Stepparents rights: My fiancee and live in the state of Kentucky and have been together for a year and a half now! Mike (fiancee) was divorced from his wife in 2009! His ex wife had 3 children when Mike and her met. Ages 1 month, 1 year, and 2 years! She left in September of 2009 and Mike and I have raised his youngest son since then! He has never resided anywhere but here with Mike! She contributes nothing to this childs welfare at all, including, clothing,rent and utilities, etc!! Absolutely nothing! She went behind Mikes back and filed this child on her 2010 income tax return! Their were no custody issues brought up in the divorce and she pretty much abondoned this child! My question is what rights does Mike have in (1) getting custody of this child (2) and 2 stopping her from claiming this child on her taxes again! Please understand money is not the issue at all!!! Its the thought that she can do this to this child, by not being a part of his life,and then taking income tax money that rightfully belongs to her son!!! Please help me, we would love to know where we stand with all of this!!! Thank You from the bottom of my heart!

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 13 February 2011 14:12 posted by Guest

    My ex husband is deployed and: My ex husband is deployed and during his deployment got a Special Power of Attorney (yes that is what its called) that gave his new wife his right to my son while he is out of the country.. The paper even go's as far as to state that if he is declared MIA or a POW she will continue to have his rights until he is released to the United States.. The step mother took me to court since i obviously refused to release my child to her and she won.. The judge acctually made me release my child to the step mother... I just dont understand how a step mother has any rights to a child I gave birth to! His birth certificate should over ride a "Special Power of Attorney" any day.. The bad part about it is They got married Oct 1, 2010 he deployed Oct 5, 2010 my ex got a General power of attorney Dec 6, 2010 while in Saudi Arabia and then got the Special power of attorney Jan 18, 2011 also in Saudi Arabia.. How can that stand up in a court room when they were only married 4 days before he deployed and both power of attorneys were done less then a month before the court date.. ( The Special Power of Attorney was done 13 days before we went to court) My child is 4 years old when i call and she acctually answers the phone all he says to me is "Mommy i want to go with you" How is being with a step parent with out the Father there in the best interest of the child?

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 11 February 2011 22:27 posted by Guest

    Honestly, not trying to come: Honestly, not trying to come at you in a rude manor, but you really don't have any rights to the children. You are the step parent and thats it. In some cases I don't feel it is right, but in others like mine, I am happy it is that way. When dealing with ex's with children, it is best to let the mother and father deal with whatever situation that may happen. When you add a step parent to the mix people take things personal and sometimes to be honest, It makes the step parent look like a busy body. Not saying thats how you are. But It causes a lot of extra drama that is not needed. The best advice I can give you is just let your husband and ex wife work things out. Cause if you go to court, the judge is going to look at you like your picking the fights and making situations worse. Even if that was not your intention. I wish you luck

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 11 February 2011 22:20 posted by Guest

    There is a new law that just: There is a new law that just got passed for mothers like you and me. I have full custody of my children. But if your ex has the custody by law he has to give you your child and or the step mother has to if he is deployed. I am dealing with similar situations but mine is my ex husband is trying to make my daughter go to the step mom for his visitation and he is also trying to keep geographical limitations on me when he is not even gonna be here. I am not sure the law on my situation. But I do know you have the right to your child. I would not mind my daughter going, but her step mother and I have has big issues in the past. She has even went as far is going to my daughters school saying she was her real mother. I had to take my custody order to my daughters school to pick her up. the school knew me but they had to do it for cya purposes. Some step mothers are very pushy and just out right mean. I am a single mother who works full-time and is finishing up my masters in psychology, but we are in custody battle cause the step mom is saying just evil things. When I think about my situation I think it comes down to Jealousy in the end. Cause it makes no common sense to me why she does what she does.

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 11 February 2011 10:41 posted by Guest

    step-parents rights to sign for school reports: I have never had any issues for the first 3 1/2 years of being married of signing off on the IEP updates but once I made a call to the school reporting bullying toward my step-daughter I am not allowed to sign anything and I cannot attend meeting unless my husband is there. We have the children 100% of the time and their mother gets supervised visitations every couple weeks.
    What are my legal rights? Is the school just doing this because I touched on a sore subject by bringing up the bullying?

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 01 February 2011 15:25 posted by Guest

    biological mom making it impossible for stepmom: I have 2 children of my own and am the stepmother of my husbands 2 children. My husband's company closed after him being employed for 20plus years and the employment that he was able to find is the afternoon shift. My husband and his exwife have joint custody with the children alternating every other week and no support being paid and the parent who has the children is responsible for expenses during time they each have them. I am the one that has total responsibilty of the kids the week that my husband has them on mon-fri with him seeing them in the morning before school and taking them to school. I take them to all extra activites, appointments etc, during my husbands week due to the fact that he is working. He has Saturday and Sunday off. This is an enormous responsibility, however I do it because I love my husband and his children and I know that he shouldn't be punished because he lost his job and he wants to see his kids even if it only means 2 hours in morning during the week and the weekends. His exwife makes it impossible we went back to court because she felt like she should be granted full custody with support since my husband is working. The judge ruled in my husbands favor and kept custody as is. She will not communicate with me at all. Does not pass on important information about the kids school, homework etc. I send her message with everything that comes home from school with dates because sometimes the field trips etc., are times she will have the kids. She purposely does not give info about practice etc. or gives info right day before or hours before when she has had information for a week to make things as difficult as possible as she can. She stated she would make it as difficult as possible so that I would realize it was selfish of my husband and make my llfe easier not to have to take care of kids. I explained Im not married to her that im married to my husband and i love him and his kids and that i do what i do for him. My question is do I throw in the towel and tell my husband i cant have full responsibility for his kids when he is working to let her take care of them? I know that he will blame me for not getting to see his kids but when is it asking to much of me with her making it impossible and him not giving me any support and standing up to her? Prior to his job change he was the primary caregiver when he was married and when he divorced. She didn't keep the kids the time she was granted until her kids started caring for me and wanting to be at our house. Prayers are welcome as well as any suggestions

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 30 January 2011 12:02 posted by Guest

    no comment: no comment

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 27 January 2011 19:53 posted by Guest

    i need some advice!! I am the: i need some advice!! I am the biological mother and am in the process of being taken to court by my ex husbands new wife..Here's the story.. My ex and i divorced in March of 2010..He got remairred October 2010..My ex is active duty Military and so is his new wife but my ex is currently deployed..The step mother refused to meet me when she needed to so i could pick up my son for the Christmas break, which resulted in me having to drive an extra 6 hrs to get my child after having to send the police to her house and getting her commanding officer involved..Well i have not returned MY child to her due to the fact that his daddy is out of the country and all of my sons family (excluding the step mom) live in or around the city that i do..Why should i have to release my child to the step parent when the father is out of the country? Now the step mother is in the process of taking me to court saying that i am in contempt of court for not releasing my child to her since my ex signed a General power of attorney and had the court issue a Writ..Why are my Civil rights being violated especially by the people who are supposed to be the ones overseas fighting for them? And since when do my divorce papers (that were drawn up 7 months before they got married) state that she becomes the conservator in my ex husbands absence?

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 19 January 2011 17:03 posted by Guest

    I know how you feel: I too am a step mother for my husband's child from a previous relationship. I have been having so many problems with the ex it's rediculous. She sends the kid to school in summer clothes that do not fit during the winter time. They are always telling me that I am just a step parent and need to take a step back and step in when needed. Last time I checked, the phrase 'step-parent' has the word parent in it. I'm not going to stop being a mother to her just because they want me to be a babysitter. If you find out any useful information, please let me know.

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 09 January 2011 11:17 posted by Guest

    step mothers rights: Can someone help me pls...........My husband has a son from an early relationship. I have had to put up the ex for 7 yrs. What rights as a wife and step mother do i have???

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 18 December 2010 22:37 posted by Guest

    Step childern: lets see. we started dating and moved very quick, he had 3 kids and i had 2. we had our 6th child one year later. we had custody of all 6 kids. about 8 years later i decided i had to leave or i was going to end up hating him. everything was fine at first but now that i remarried and he is living with his girlfriend he took kids away from me. the kids and i have been sneaking around to talk and write letters. he found out and we have all been punished for it by my ex. today my ex-step daughter, which i still call my daughter seeing as she was 3 when her father and i got together, called me all upset saying that her dads girlfriend is so mean and hateful to her all the time. i get mad and try to tell him and he tells me it is none of my business. i dont understand how there isnt a law to help me at least get visitation. i am the only mom she has known and she is taking it very bad. she started cutting herself and now is seeing a councelor. she tells me, mommy its not working i want to come home to you i hate it here. how am i supposed to help her? what do i say? she has 1 step-brother and 1 step-sister plus the half sister that live with me and all she wants is to beable to see us or spend time with us on a regular basis. i need help i want to get my baby back. my 2 other step kids are up in age now and can see me as they please and we talk all the time and visit behind their fathers back so he doesnt flip out but my step-child is only 12 she still has a long way to go before she can move out. any one please if you have any suggestions please let me know. i have a lawyer but he said there was nothing he could do. i am will to get another lawyer if needed. thank you.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 06 December 2010 04:15 posted by Guest

    Help with some advice!: I have 3 stepchildren,2 by the first wife, and one by the 2nd wife of my husband as well as 2 girls of my own. First off my husband refuses to correct his children, but I do allow him to help me correct mine. The one by his second wife likes to steal things that don't belong to her. When my husband asks her about the item she has taken, she starts crying... and makes out like she did not do it, when in fact I know that she did. Everybody in his family knows that the child steals, so that is no secret. When she goes to family's houses they have to put stuff up and hide it in fear of things being stolen. When the child starts crying to get out of what she has done, the father falls for it and says thats okay I'm not blaming you. Then my 2 girls ends up getting the blame for things they have not done. My husbands family I have known for years before I met him, and knows my girls and knows that nothing has ever come up missing when they are at their houses before. I have had his family tell me of things she has tried to take prior in years past, but they caught her and made her put it back for example: jewlry, toys and such. I have told the child it was bad to steal and it is illegal and her father as well as her can get into alot of trouble for it. And the child still continues to do it no matter what I say. I cannot correct her as the biological mother sees to it as well as the father. But I have to keep the child while the father is working and such while she is here for visitation. Nedless to say that her mother makes up lies and stories on me with the other two stepchildren and has caused a hugh wedge in me and my stepchildrens relationship. At this point the older two stepchildren don't even speak to me because of the 2nd wifes lies that she has told them on me when she sees them in the store. My husband is seeing all this and does nothing about it, and refused to correct his own daughter who is doing the stealing. I really need some advice on how to handle this situation. I really don't want no child with me that steals! It is a bad example for my girls and it hurts them tramindisly to keep getting blamed for things they have not done, which I can completely understand. This is not the only problem with this child, this is just one of them. When I met my husband the child had no correction at all, and she ruled the household. The first wife gives me no problems. The second wife still plays a hugh roll in my husbands life and is a real problem in mine. To sum it up, I don't know what to do and I am out of ideas. I don't think it would bother me if the second wife would realize that I am the step parent and the child is in my care 95% of the time she is on visitation with her father. And that I do play a roll in the child's life, and she needs to respect me. So basically I have to take care of a child in my household that I cannot correct or even speak to out of line. Her rules in my house are different from my own two girls who lives here with me, which is not fair to them and looks bad upon my step daughter because of it. But my hands are tied with her correction. And no matter what the child does my 2 daughters always tries to make her feel like part of the family and their sister. So what do I do?

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 18 November 2010 15:47 posted by Guest

    stepkids: my wife whom i am seperated has passed and she had 2 kids from a previous relationship and i have always been there for them i was all they knew for 12 years as a father. now there real dads whats custody what can i do.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 19 October 2010 21:08 posted by Guest

    Step rights after biological parents death. : My brother is trying to keep custodial rights of his 10 yr old son. His wife recently passed and now the biological father is trying to get custody. My brother has supported and raised the child along with the mother since the child was 3 months old. The bio father has not contributed at all. We fear tht the bio is seekin custody now because he fears child support actions and Tht the child recieves an SSI check for medical reasons. What rights does my brother (step father) have to prevent this? I am also a single dad an know how hard it is to go through the family court system for custody! Any help wld be appretiated, thnk you. A. Alls

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 09 October 2010 20:22 posted by Guest

    First right of refusal: Anyone know the laws for first right of refusal for California? I have been in my stepson's life for six years now (since he was barely two) and his biological mother has about 40% visitation. Once in a while my stepson will stay with me if my husband has to work an extra day (which isn't much), so we continue on as a family (I have children from a previous marriage 100% of the time). The bio mother states she wants my step son if my husband works, but history has proven if my husband asks her if she wants him the few extra times, she says yes, takes the child and pawns him off on other family just so he is not with me. From my research, I cannot find anything wrong with him staying with me due to the history of giving him up. She also travels a lot without my step son and I am good enough to keep him when she goes out of town for work, on vacation without him, and certainly good enough to miss work if he is sick. Please suggest where I can find more info or case law.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 05 October 2010 23:36 posted by Guest

    Step Parent's Rights: I am a step father of a beautiful teenage girl. My step daughter's biological father quits his jobs, has a revolving door for women in his house, and does drugs. Biological father currently has 2 other children by 2 other women. Biological mother and I have proof that this is going on. He likes to intimidate my wife in any type of conversation unless I am around. The biological parents are currently going through a mediation process and he has demanded that I can't be present. The mediation center is following his demands. Do I have any rights to stand up and say that I should be present for this program? It seems as though I am not able to assist in making any decisions for my step daughter, but I can sure be there to pay out the medical expenses, activity expenses, and any other expense that he doesn't want to pay out for.

  • Comment Link Guest Saturday, 21 August 2010 23:37 posted by Guest

    Seperation : I have been married to my husband for almost 5 years but have been seperated for a year. We were granted primary placement of his year old who now is turning 5, the bilogical mother has every week during the summer and we have him every weekend, during the school year we get him the whole school year and the bilogical mother only gets him every other weekend during this time, however my husband has been absent for a year and I have had my step son who calls me mommy for a year now.... the bilogical mother doesnt know of our sitution but is starting to catch on. what rights do I have over the bilogical mother?

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 25 July 2010 10:16 posted by Guest

    name change of a minor and rights taken from bio father: My son is 3 now and for the last 3 years have heard nothing form his bio father, this man was abusive during the duration of our time together both mentally and physically and i have plenty of paperwork from arrests and restraining orders to prove it.he has also been court ordered to pay child support and has never. my son has no mental record of who his bio father is. my now fiance of 2 years is all he knows. when my son was born i gave him his bio fathers last name in hopes it would change this mans mentality, but did not. i regret doing so at this point and want his name changed to mine. how hard is this goona be for me? and what are the proper steps i need to take to get this done? also is it possible to strip the rights away from this dead beat? any info would be of some help....

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 06 May 2010 14:12 posted by Guest

    Case involving DHS, allegations, etc.: My name is Stephanie Henry. I currently reside in Wagoner, OK. When this case originated in September 2009 I was residing in Sapulpa, OK. On Sept. 23, 2009, I took my then 5 year old daughter, Michaela Henry to St John's Sapulpa ER. Michaela had reported to me while giving her a bath, that her father, Darrel Henry, had been touching her inappropiately. She had been experiencing some redness & irritation in her private area for approximately a month. At first I thought it could have been due to her bathing routine. So I changed that, but the irritation continued, and when I asked her if she knew why it bothered her, all she would say is "I don't know Mommy." So when she finally revealed this to me, I took her in.

    After her exam, their happened to be 2 police officers in the hospital and I spoke to them and they notified DHS. We went thru countless interviews, Michaela had both a forensic interview with a detective and she underwent the SANE exam at Hillcrest Hopsital. After all was finished, I took her to my parents home in Broken Arrow and we stayed with them for a week, and then DHS removed her from my care.

    Now to give a little background on my daughter. I am not her biological mother. But I have raised her since she was 3 days old. SHE IS MY DAUGHTER. The bio mom resides in Omaha, NE (where we are originally from), and has had nothing to do with Michaela! No contact, except for one hour & half vist with her when she was 14mos old, no child support, no support of any kind! She would not know this child if she seen her on the street! I am Michaela's mother, no matter what the blood test says! She only knows me as her mother. But in December of 2009, Creek Co DHS found the bio mom and brought her down her to stipulate to their petition, so now it is a rotten mess. My then court appointed attorney, filed a Motion to Vacate(I have a copy of both the petition and the Motion to Vacate that can be forwarded if needed), as DHS had originally asked in their petition to have bio mom's rights terminated immediately and when they found her at the last minute and presented her to court on December 16th, they "changed their mind". The judge dismissed the motion and also removed my attorney from the case, stating that I had no rights to court appointed attorney. Now DHS has plans on introducing the bio mom to Michaela during Michaela's therapy. I do not see how this is beneficial to my daughter at all. The bio mom has no plans of being involved in her life. I feel this will just further traumatize Michaela.

    I consulted with numerous attorneys regarding this situation. All advised that I do not separate from or divorce my husband at this point, because I would walk away from any claim that I had to Michaela. So I have continued to reside with him, against my will so to speak, because I was not going to walk away from my daughter. She is all that matters to me!

    Present Day: Last evening, I told my husband that I wanted him to leave. That I could not continue to live like this and that it would be in everyone's best interest for him to go. This morning I contacted DHS, and they state that this will change everything, and that they are unsure of what the legal ramifications are going to be. And they advised me to retain an attorney ASAP.

    Please, please someone contact me! I need an attorney, but I cannot afford one. I only work part time right now. I have contacted Legal Aid, but they state that it could be a month or more before I even get to speak to someone and I have to return to court on June 2nd. If I go back to court without an attorney, I am dead in the water. I CANNOT LOSE MY DAUGHTER! I WILL NOT WALK AWAY FROM HER! Please, please there are so many more details to this case, and I just need someone that would be willing to hear it all and help me save my daughter.

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 19 April 2010 17:59 posted by Guest

    My husband and i have been: My husband and i have been married for almost three years, and he has two children. The biological mother has no rights and has not seen the kids in six years. If i adopt them will she be notified or have any say in the matter?

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 18 March 2010 05:50 posted by Guest

    stepparents rights: my husband had a child when we where married and the baby is in foster care and mom cannot have custody of the baby dad is going into a progam and I want to try to bring the baby home what can I do ? we only have until april because they want to adopt her out. baby is 1year old and i dont want this child not to know who her family is i would do what is neccessary for the baby

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 16 February 2010 13:19 posted by Guest

    Separation : If the eldest daughter has been in your custody for 6 mos, there are some states that would grant you custody based on abandonment. Alabama being one of them however, the monkey wrench is the fact that you are the step-parent instead of the biological parent. I know this is true between biological parents because my husbands ex-wife left her daughter from another marriage with that daughter's father for 6 mos and he was granted custody as an open and shut case based on abandonment. My husband has 2 additional children with this woman that we are currently fighting for custody of and I too am a step-parent researching my rights, if any. Good luck sweetheart and from one step parent to another, continue to fight for what is right because there is more to parenting that simple biology!

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 03 January 2010 12:49 posted by Guest

    step parents: I am having the same problem with my husbands ex. I havent found any good info. yet. I have been in the girls lives for 4 yrs. now and it is getting worse with the ex.

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 30 December 2009 17:31 posted by Guest

    Step parent involvement with step children: I am the step mother of two children, ages 6 and 4. The biological mother seeks to get a restraining order (against me, the step mother) to prevent me from visiting the children's' schools for school functions when, specifically my husband is not with me. In other words, it is acceptable IF my husband is with me, but it is NOT acceptable if he is not present. She has stated that I am not allowed on the school room without my husband at any time she, the biological mother, is in the room.

    Would the law support her in this endeavor to get a restraining order? Can you please inform as to any relevant laws and advice, links. I have no skeletons in the closet, and have supported the children so they would know I care about them, and to try and support their best interests. I am divorced, and have 3 children of my own. I have been very respectful of the biological mother's concerns, but she is going to an extreme now threatening a restraining order.

    I would appreciate any advice.

    Many thanks for any help.

  • Comment Link Guest Sunday, 20 December 2009 02:46 posted by Guest

    separation: When my husband and I got married we fought for and got custody of his 18 month and 2 1/2 year old children from his previous marriage. My husband and I are now seperated and have been for almost 2 years. I have been consistantly in the children's lives about 50% since the seperation. I even had the elder in my care alone for about 6 months this year while my husband was living elsewhere. I was wondering about getting legal visition and how I can go about that

  • Comment Link Guest Wednesday, 09 September 2009 15:55 posted by Guest

    Step parents rights: Wanting to learn more about the rights of parents and step parents.