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If you suffer enough pain, you can use that experience to help others. The words that I choose to live my life by come from Mother Teresa: "Let no one ever come to you with out leaving better and happier." I'm your new moving beyond divorce, blogger, and I'm so jazzed about being able to share things with you that might help you. So let's begin.

I was an idiot when I divorced my ex. In my mind, all I could think about was getting away from him and taking my children with me. He was an abusive, rotten, bad-breath addict who liked to use me as his whipping boy. But more on that another time. You're hear to maybe learn something and maybe even do some healing.

Like millions of other women who were victims of abuse, I walked away from my marriage with nothing, except everything — my son and daughter. And, at 48, starting completely over was tough and very scary.

My brother helped, but not wanting to support me entirely, he told me to apply for state assistance. What? Was he talking food stamps and financial aid like a poor person? Well, yeah, he was, and yeah, I was. So, I did.

The Department of Human Services experience was excruciatingly humbling to say the very least. But, here's the good news. The Department of Human Services exists to help children and women like me, like you, to transition out of something bad toward something, hopefully, good.

The money is there, and if you've worked like I have your entire life, or ran a home 24/7 for your family while your ex worked, then why the heck not take advantage of all the money the system has to offer. That's why it's there.

And though the food stamps were a great help, what happens afterwards is even better. See, the state wants you to get your child support. After all, they now have a vested interest. So, they get their District Attorney office hunting down your ex for all those past child support payments. You don't have to hire a lawyer to get your child support.

It's good to know somebody is working for me, and they'll work for you, too.

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