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I'm a Christian woman. I belong to a liberal church, and I'm not the kind of person to run around spouting my beliefs to other people. Basically, Christianity works well for me, but I know it doesn't work well for everyone else. No biggie.

My faith has played a big role in my apprehension toward getting a divorce. I've spoken with my pastor many times about divorce and if it's ever justified, religiously speaking. The way he explained it to me is this — getting a divorce on the grounds of an affair is always justified, but an affair does not always have to be a romantic, physical affair with another person. He says some people have affairs with their jobs, with their hobbies, and with other things. When a person neglects his or her spouse and is emotionally unavailable because of something else, then this can be considered an affair.

Yes, my husband was emotionally unavailable for quite some time — until I told him I was going to leave, that is. I just don't know how the people in our church would react to my husband and me separating. I also don't know if my husband and I could continue to go to the same church, even though we both love it and we're both active members. My pastor says he's seen it happen, but not very often at all. I would like to think we could both attend church together — especially since it's the church our kids know and love — but am I really naïve to think it could work?

 

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