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I've heard that romantic love fades over the years and is replaced by more of a mutual companionship. Apparently it's somewhat normal to stop being passionate about your spouse, but it's OK as long as the two of you want to still hang out together and rely on each other.

I don't know if I buy that concept. Why shouldn't two people stay in love forever? Is it impossible for a married couple to retain a sense of passion and deep love for one another? I guess an even more important question — or at least as it pertains to my particular situation — is if this is what has happened in my marriage. We haven't even been married for 10 years yet. Is it already time for us to slip into the companionship role instead of being madly in love?

I know there is no definitive answer, and it's probably entirely different from one couple to another. I just often wonder if the rigors of maintaining a marriage, raising children, and handling jobs always have to pull couples further from each other. It seems to me that true love would be the basis that made a couple more of a team, and therefore love wouldn't be affected detrimentally as the years passed. If anything, love should become stronger as the years roll on, shouldn't it?

It's not as if I expect insane, ridiculous passion on a continual basis within my marriage, but sometimes I have a hard time trying to figure out what exactly constitutes solid love.

 

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2 comments

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 11 December 2012 05:47 posted by Guest

    passion fading: i met a woman in china 14 years ago online in a forum who needed help with a family
    member's medical needs. we chatted 6 years and i fell in love but never thought i'd meet her. i knew she was not happy at home. she came here 6 years ago to pursue a degree and my heart never landed. she will divorce her husband, but her passion for me has faded though mine remains a flame. now she wants us to remain friends as she finds herself, what she wants. she wants passion, and the fact that it is not from me provided the hurt cannot be described.

    It's all the same. you must find the flame that mirror's yours.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 19 July 2011 09:46 posted by Guest

    This is exactly why marriage: This is exactly why marriage fails. Telling someone they'll never experience that feeling of passion for the rest of their lives, is like being stabbed in the chest. The anxiety caused by that wanting for that feeling will cause resentment, and inevitably the end of your marriage/relationship unless you are content and can accept that fact, which I don't suggest to anyone. You only live once, make the best of it!