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I didn’t think I’d be one of those ex-wives who had to fight for financial follow through.

Jake has always insisted that I am entitled to support: We were we married for 10 years, and “it’s just right.” In many ways, I am loathe to take his money, but I’m also a public school teacher paying off graduate school.

After his initial declaration, it took almost nine months to come up with any kind of plan. He doesn’t refuse, he just does nothing, and, being that he’s living in China, he’s hard to pin down. In our infrequent discussions, there is much hemming and hawing and promises to take care of things soon. Meanwhile, I’m in California, watching my meager savings shrink as I pay for divorce paperwork, for the movers to take away his belongings, for the various expenses of living in this city on a teacher’s salary.

We agreed in August that we would begin our financial arrangement in October. It’s November, and nothing has happened. Every time I talk to him, I get, “Oh, right, I’ll get started on that.”

This week, I sent an e-mail saying that I hated to think anything bad of him, but could think of no real reason he would not follow through unless he was rethinking our agreement.

Of course, I got an incensed e-mail in return, a full-of-hurt, how-could-you-doubt-me, you-know-what-a-difficult-time-of-year-this-is e-mail. “I will be sending you the information you require by the end of the week,” it ends, stiffly.

I hate that after being partners for so long, it feels so much as though we’re on opposing sides. I hate that I feel as though I have to fight for something I’m so uncomfortable with in the first place.

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