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I feel as though many women have issues with their "number" — worrying it's too high, feeling that they're not "allowed" to sleep around. While there's a very real need for caution, in light of health and safety risks (and, please, just insert "Safe! Safe! Use condoms!" before the word "sex" in this post from here on out, okay?), I hate that this kind of thinking is out there.

Whether I've slept with 2, 5, or 40 men doesn't compromise anything about me, as long as each encounter was what I wanted.

I'm troubled when I read that women regret their number. Not being proud of particular choices or individuals, that's one thing, but merely the number — a number is just a number. It's not something to be proud or ashamed of.

And, of course, I have to ask — despite the fact that it's been said so many times before — why is ok for men and not for women? As long as it's what we wanted, why do we care that some of us are well into double digits and some of us can count on one hand?

If you've only slept with one person, or with no one, because that's your choice — morally, personally, whatever — I applaud you. If you've slept with dozens, because that's your choice — as long as you're safe about it — I applaud you.

The man in the longest lasting casual relationship after I got divorced didn't care that he was way more experienced that I was. My current guy doesn't care that I did some sleeping around over the past year. Anyone who would care, really care, about my number being too high or too low isn't the kind of person I'd want to be in a relationship with.

It's just a number. It has as much to do with situation and circumstance as it does anything else. In terms of morality, in terms of being a decent person, in terms of your potential to kick ass in bed, it doesn't mean anything.

I like sex — a lot. I've had a bit of it since splitting up with my husband. I would hate to think I'd be judged for that, since it was absolutely the right choice for me. Just as I would hate for a woman to be judged who hasn't had sex since her divorce because she hasn't wanted to.

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