If this is Tuesday it must be the Cote d'Azure. How should an ex-wife feel when a husband is taking two young children on a grand tour of Europe? A reader asks "Do I have a right to ask for an itinerary, and phone numbers for hotels, when he's dragging them across Europe? The kids are 9 and 10, two boys, and I can't imagine they are going to be very happy."
It's up to the ex-husband to deal with two unhappy boys. As for the rest of the question, about your right to an itinerary:
"Absolutely!" said Susan Reach Winters, an attorney at Budd Larner, P.C., in New Jersey. "You have every right to know where your children are, especially for emergency situations." Moreover, if you feel your ex is taking the children on something dangerous, or something you do not approve of, you may "need to go to court," she said.
"Day trips? Not so much. But longer trips, yes," said Jacalyn Barnett, whose law offices are in New York.
"When a parent asks for an itinerary for an extended trip the child is taking with the other parent, it shows the child that the parent loves them enough to want to know their whereabouts," says David Young, a former Circuit Court judge in Miami-Dade County.
It is best, the lawyers say, if guidelines for situations like these are laid down in the divorce and custody agreement. Every divorce is different, but itís important to focus on the needs of the child and not fall victim to revenge.
If you keep your children from speaking to their father, you are making them casualties in your battle with your ex. There are instances where a parent will call too much, and that is also interfering with the other parentís right to have private time with the child.
Either way, the child is hurt.