Inspiration, Encouragement & Strength
join a community of support ›

Community Talk

Community Talk makes it easy for you to find relevant, informative articles from First Wives World's leading contributors, all in one place. All content is hand picked by First Wives World and covers a wide range of topics important to you.

Back to Article List

Filter Articles By:  

If you have an ex and children, you've dealt with it: The Switch.

If your ex isn't a total deadbeat, he's going to spend some time with the children you had together, and you're going to have to see him. You're going to have to talk to him. You're going to have to be nice to him.

There's no good way to drop off your kids with your ex, unless maybe your kids are so young they don't know you were ever together, let alone that you're now divorced. It's not fun for them and it's not fun for either of you.

Someone should create a service. Maybe some kind woman who didn't quite finish her social worker degree could pull up in her standard issue silver Honda Civic and cheerfully transport your children for deposit into the possession of the man you once shared a bed with, and now can no longer share niceties with.

She can take care of the "how's work?" conversations and the "I'll get you that child support check as soon as I can" conversations and maybe even the "how's it going with that tramp you left me for?" conversations, too.

Until that service comes to market, though, we just keep plugging along, trying to make it as painless as possible. I found that the longer my husband and I have been separated, the easier it's become. What about you? Do you have any tricks to make the drop off go smoothly? Has it gotten easier as time has gone on?

Back to Article List

Leave a comment


  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 12 July 2011 10:01 posted by Guest

    What have we learned? either: What have we learned? either use protection or make sure you are truly in love with your partner before having children, otherwise your life will become a living nightmare as these two are finding out. Congrats!! lol

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 11 July 2011 22:22 posted by Guest

    response to It Is Your Choice: I'm in a similar situation. My ex initially came to my house until he shoved me into a glass storm door in front of my children and I filed DV charges. He was "nice" up to that point (sarcasm) From there on it was war. We met at the police station for the same reason but the abuse continued. We now meet at the public library because there are cameras and the guardian thought it would be less traumatic for the children (ages 4 & 6 now).
    He has had four girlfriends in the last year. Since the first one moved out he has become "nicer" but is still manipulative. He's trying to impress his GF and is now asking to pick the girls up at my home. I say, No Way! There is always an alterior motive for his "nice" behavior. I've been bitten too many times. My girls are now asking why "daddy doesn't live with us". I tell them when they are older, can understand and IF they still want to know... I will explain everything. I'm sure they say something to this effect to my ex and he is scared to death. He did wrong...very, very, very wrong. Friends and famiily say I'm too nice to him considering what he did.
    He has always said if I divorced him he would "take everything!". "The house, the car, the kids". The only things left are the kids and he's working on them.
    They are young and impressionable. He is a narcissitic sociopath. He proves this over and over and over again.
    My goal is to teach my children how to deal with someone like this. I try to teach them self respect and boundries first, then respect for others of all races, ethnic backgrounds and walks of life. I try to teach them the golden rule. Remember that one? "Do unto others as you would have done unto you."
    The truth will come to light. Be patient, be consistent, be honest, be kind, be loving to your children or stepchildren. Teach by example. I will say it again because I have to believe it to be so...The truth will come to light.

  • Comment Link Guest Thursday, 07 July 2011 10:50 posted by Guest

    It Is Your Choice: You don't "HAVE to be nice to him." You can do what my stepkids' mom does: yell at their dad during transitions, make nasty comments demeaning him and call him names -- all in front of the kids. The bonus is that your kids grow up thinking this is normal.

    We have a (male) friend who has started doing his transitions at a police station to prevent his former wife from misconduct during the exchange. The wife complains, because she prefers to bully him in private.