If your relationship is bad, and you feel it deep inside you, and you're sad about what could've been, and what isn't, and your partner probably knows the couple is on the rocks, too. What do you do?
It's at this troubled time that you need to really stop and think about what you want to do. Here are a few questions I asked myself before leaving — that you should ask yourself to better help you decide if you really want to move on:
- Do you still love your partner, no matter how bad everything is? That's important to know. Forget about what everyone else thinks of your husband or mate. What do you think about him? If you still have feelings for your partner, you need to take decisions that fit with your emotions, not just your well-being.
- Do you want to try to repair the situation? Have you talked things over with your partner? Have you both tried therapy or counseling? Is he willing to even visit a professional to get help with the relationship? Are you?
- Would simply moving out solve the issues and save the relationship? Loving each other doesn't mean you're both made to live together 24/7. People often confuse the two. Many people today choose the new trend of LAT (living apart, together) and maintain their marriage or relationship very well, even with children.
- What about the children? Plenty of women stay in an unhealthy relationship and say, "It's for the kids." If the situation at home isn't fun to live in, this does children no favors. What is important to children is seeing their father and mother often and receiving plenty of affection. It isn't about who lives where.
- Are you making a decision based on what you want, or are you choosing to stay or go because of what everyone else thinks you should do? People are quick to give advice to others. It's fun. That advice isn't always good in general or good advice for your situation. Friends and family also aren't objective, and they sometimes convince people to take action that isn't a wise choice. If you're unsure, ask a professional for a neutral, unbiased and objective opinion.
Don't make decisions because you're tired or feeling emotional. Think before you act, and think hard. There may be alternatives or options you hadn't considered. Talk to your partner and you may find he proposes a solution that works for the both of you. Worst comes to worst, you'll know how he feels and where he stands, and you'll have all the facts gathered to make an informed choice that is best for you.