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I admit it. Some days, my life is a complete mess — and I mean literally.

My house is littered with toys. My home-cooked meals are usually warmed-up leftovers. My laundry baskets overflow. The cats are shedding like mad, and the floors need vacuuming. I'd mention the windows, but they're more like sun filters right now, what with all the residue the outside elements have left on them.

I need a babysitter, a break, and a drink.

Needs aside, my biggest priority has been keeping up appearances that I'm a Good Mother. I've had a few comments from people lately, jokes about how it's hard to walk across the floor or comments about it being 8 pm and how could I possibly just be sitting down to supper?

For all you people that believe single moms have to be Superwoman, read this: I don't care what you think any more.

Here I am, working like a devil to make ends meet so I can pay the bills and have some leftover. I'm coping with dealing with a teen and a toddler at the same time. I'm desperately trying to hang onto a relationship I actually left, and I'm working very hard not to regret having done so.

Regrets? Oh sure, I have them. I have them when I could use that extra support or someone to say, "Hey, I'll take over." I have regrets when I look at my microwave meals and think about how I used to make such beautiful suppers when we were a family. I have regrets that we used to be a double-income household, not a struggling single one.

Relationships shouldn't be about sharing the workload. They should be about sharing affection and time together.

But boy oh boy, I sure wish I had a man around the house some days.

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6 comments

  • Comment Link Guest Monday, 22 August 2011 10:05 posted by Guest

    If you do all that great:) me: If you do all that great:) me too.... Did you ever consider that there are women out there like you? ...and conversely men out there who work a job and that's it...nothing else no emotion... No conversation...no playing with the kids....maybe we are not on opposite sides of some grand debate...maybe it's not men versus women...maybe there are good and bad on both sides? Just a thought...

  • Comment Link Guest Friday, 19 August 2011 22:02 posted by Guest

    You are a rare breed. But at: You are a rare breed. But at least you understand what it feels like to be a man and stop taking what they do for granted. Thanks for sharing your experiences, it's really enlightening to the other women on this site.

  • Comment Link PJA Friday, 19 August 2011 01:16 posted by PJA

    Being a Woman: I knew I'd be able to handle being on my own b/c I (being a WOMAN, Steve) was doing almost everything myself. He'd help occasionally. But I did most of the cleaning. During the winter, I usually was the one out clearing the driveway. We probably split mowing the yard 50/50. I did it plenty of times. I also did the majority of the cooking. And I paid the bills. Oh & I worked fulltime outside the home while he worked from home. Sure, he occasionally took care of the boys when daycare or school was off. But overall, I did most of it. I remember telling him, long before we split, that many times I felt like a single parent. Would it be nice to have help occasionally? Sure. But I'm managing. I'm more exhausted & stressed now due to all the junk that goes with a separation than b/c I'm having to do everything on my own.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 16 August 2011 12:50 posted by Guest

    "Sure things are perfectly: "Sure things are perfectly cleaned every single day of every week but honestly"

    I meant to say AREN'T perfectly cleaned every single day...oops.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 16 August 2011 12:47 posted by Guest

    Hang in there: It's a huge struggle to get your feet under you when you go through the upheaval of this kind of life change no matter who initiated it. There are definitely days when I wonder if the situation will ever settle itself down. Yet, as time passes I think that it might have been a tough road but so far I've made it work and somehow I'll keep making it work. I actually even get a bit of a boost realizing that not only CAN I do it but I AM doing it. Sure things are perfectly cleaned every single day of every week but honestly it's been a lot easier cleaning the house without adding the ex's daily junk that he dumped all over the place and expected me to figure out what to do with it. Sure I don't cook a gourmet meal every night but I fix what I want to fix when I want to fix it and if that's a frozen pizza or fish sticks, so be it. The world won't end because I didn't prepare a rump roast or pick and prepare fresh veggies out of my own garden. You have nothing to explain to anyone and dinner at eight sounds great. Live life on your own terms and be proud of everything that you do to get through it.

  • Comment Link Guest Tuesday, 16 August 2011 10:54 posted by Guest

    Being a Man: Love how the truth comes out when it comes to women.. Money, Kids, and Help. Now you know what it feels like to be a man. I support my family, pay the bills, cook, clean, lawn care/gardening, shovel driveways, then wake up to do it all over again the next day. Great isn't it? Enjoy.