I want to personally thank each and every one who voted for my entry in the RE-DEFINE DIVORCE Contest. I can't believe that I won. The last time I think I won anything other than a 20 oz. soda was in fourth grade. I'd read the most pages during the school year and for that achievement I won the boxed set of Beatrix Potter's Peter Rabbit. It was perfect timing. School was ending and I could lounge around and read to my heart's content all summer long.
The timing of this win is perfect too. I've been kind of paralyzed for a while. My husband leaving and the ensuing divorce had numbed me. I was like a book when the title and picture on the cover had been removed. You couldn't really tell if there was anything interesting there or not. For the longest time no one knew that I felt completely wiped out on the inside too...Blank.
At first, I thought this was a horrible injustice that could never be rectified. My life as I knew it had been taken away. It was literally erased in the space of one day! But I'm rethinking my former assumption that my life was over; just another tragic life with an even sadder ending. Now, I sincerely believe and know that just the opposite is true, MY LIFE IS JUST BEGINNING!
I am feeling more energetic. I am actually looking forward to tomorrow and the future in general. I've made some plans and I've taken some action towards making those plans a reality.
The First Wives World site and the many wonderful women I've met and befriended here have made such a difference in my life. I am reminded through the blogs, comments and discussion replies from each contributor that it is indeed my life and I do have control over it. I can give permission for others to define who I am, or with courage, boldness and renewed love and belief in myself, I can redefine my own life!
The latest edition of the story of my life still has nothing but empty pages. The words that will be entered do not have to focus on my past or portray a victim. I have the pen in my hand. No, let's make that a pencil. I want to edit at will. In this version I will be author, editor and illustrator.
On the cover, I will use the experiences from my past like an artist would add different shades to a self-portrait. They are added where needed to provide depth and specific nuances that will accurately reflect who I was, am, and want to become.
I don't know exactly what the finished project will look like or how it will read, but there will be no co-authors with editing privileges in this version. Rest assured if anyone is going to describe the nature or basic qualities of my abilities, character, potential, and future, from now on, anyway, the defining will be done solely by ME!
Thanks Again Everyone!