Inspiration, Encouragement & Strength
join a community of support ›

Community Talk

Community Talk makes it easy for you to find relevant, informative articles from First Wives World's leading contributors, all in one place. All content is hand picked by First Wives World and covers a wide range of topics important to you.


Filter Articles By:  

What if you could make your ideal love match materialize in front of you simply by putting the right code into a machine? We now have 3D printers that can print guns, working tools, musical instruments, and even a replica of a human fetus. And this is just the beginning stages of the technology. There are already experiments underway to print human organs using live tissue, and bio-printing is revolutionizing medicine. So what if we could print an entire person? I know it sounds crazy and fantastical, but just to humor me, imagine the possibility. What if you could design your spouse to be everything you ever wanted? How would you write the code that would create that person? Would they be an amalgam of the best parts of old loves, or would you start from scratch? If I could tell a computer to print out in human form my ideal mate, this is what code I would use.
Posted by
Wednesday, 20 November 2013 17:28
I recently came across an article in the Huffington Post written by a woman who changed her name after her divorce. And I don't just mean she changed her last name back to her maiden name. She did drop her married surname and reverted to her maiden name, but she also decided to acquire a completely new middle name. The fact that she chose her own name intrigued me, and she wrote that years later, she has no regrets about her decision. She did it out of a desire to start over, and claim her new place in the world as a woman on her own, and as an individual. She didn't necessarily dislike the middle name her parents had given her at birth, but explained that it felt “juvenile, little, limited.” She threw a party to celebrate the name change, and after many glasses of Champagne, emerged triumphantly as a butterfly might from its cocoon. No longer bearing the name of someone else, she felt liberated to start out anew. It made me consider my own name, and why I still regret my decision to change it.
Posted by
Tuesday, 19 November 2013 23:36
There's a great, darkly comedic scene in the 2009 movie “It's Complicated” that I think sums up divorce heartbreak for many of us. Meryl Streep gets into a car with co-star Steve Martin, who is listening to a self-help CD on divorce. After he fumbles in embarrassment to shut off the track, she asks him, amused, if he's recently been divorced. “Yes,” he answers quite candidly. “Two and a half years ago.” She shoots him a knowing look and replies, “Well, look at it this way. In two more years, you'll start to feel normal again.” At least, she points out, that was her experience.Which means, if we do the math, it took her almost five years just to start to feel normal again. Give it another two, and maybe she will actually feel normal...which gives us a total of six and a half years. That's a lot of years of mental turmoil to go through. But then again, aren't our lives mostly made up of turmoil and long periods of feeling not quite normal? What is normal supposed to feel like? 
Posted by
Wednesday, 13 November 2013 16:39
I wrote about my own post-divorce stress in Tuesday's post, and even though I have already admitted that I am still struggling, I have found a few ways to combat my anxiety. The first and perhaps the most important component to dealing with stress no matter what the cause, is to admit you are under stress and suffering in the first place. This was the hardest part for me, because I like to think that I can do anything, and was working extra hard to prove how tough I was after my divorce. To prove my strength of will, I worked longer hours, I worked out harder, and I did everything I could to feel like I was really in control. But when my body started telling me enough was enough, I finally had to give in and start being kinder to myself. It has been a long process, but I have found some techniques that have actually improved my overall well-being, and hopefully you'll find at least one of them useful.
Posted by
Wednesday, 06 November 2013 15:49
I don't know if it's female instinct, or social conditioning, or both, but women want to please others. We want the people we love to be comfortable and happy, even if it means forgoing our own happiness in the effort to satisfy everyone around us. Not all women are this way, but it seems to be a general trend. When I was growing up, I watched my grandmother go out of her way to make sure her husband, children, and grandchildren were happy in every situation, no matter what sacrifices she had to make of herself. She would cook two dinners the same night if someone wanted something she hadn't already prepared. She woke up at six a.m to make breakfast, even though she hated breakfast and never ate it herself. When anyone in the family or in her community asked her to do something, she said yes. She always  said yes to everyone, because she didn't want to upset anyone. And she's not the only woman in my family to live a life of placating others.
Posted by
Wednesday, 30 October 2013 14:41
The urge to merge. It's an old cliché about a woman's need to bond intensely with her partner, and is usually used in reference to lesbian relationships. It is the reason why female couples jump into relationships with each other, and is exactly where the whole U-Haul joke comes from. (What does a lesbian bring on a second date? A U-Haul. Ha ha.) While the urge to merge may have an urban dictionary definition rooted in lesbian culture, the phenomena is actually backed by science, and pertains to all women, regardless of sexual orientation. It is the female inclination to form a committed, lasting, monogamous relationship with someone. This desire to connect is a part of our chemical makeup, and is apparently triggered by a hormone called Oxytocin. 
Posted by
Tuesday, 29 October 2013 18:03
I have what some would call an addictive personality. I approach life with an all-or-nothing mentality, which means that instead of having a few cookies, I eat the whole bag in one sitting and then avoid them completely for months. I don't stop at one or two glasses of wine, and I will stay up all night to finish a book or watch an entire television series. When it comes to relationships, I am either so passionate about someone that I need to see them every day, or not at all. I know that I can be intense. Sometimes this quality can be charming, sometimes not. After my divorce, I found myself going overboard with everything.
Posted by
Wednesday, 23 October 2013 16:49
Everyone has his or her own timing for when dating is appropriate after a divorce. Some people grieve for years before they're ready to move on, and others were involved with someone else before the split even happened. But for most of us, dating after going through a divorce may be intimidating and a little bit scary, but a part of us still wants to reach out again at some point in time. At the same time, no one wants to have their hearts broken all over again, or even worse, subject themselves to all the possible negative qualities a new love interest might have. Getting to know someone and trust someone again takes a lot of work, and a lot of patience. I am not the best at it, but I am learning how to accept and trust people again without getting involved with the wrong match.
Posted by
Friday, 18 October 2013 16:24
Divorce is the hangover. The super bad kind where you wake up and wonder why you did that and vow never to do it again. We have to go through emotional withdrawal and that makes for a different kind of crazy. Some of us get depressed, we act out or go on a binge – too much alcohol, drugs or sex with random people.
Posted by
Wednesday, 16 October 2013 16:47
I read my horoscope everyday to see if this is that special day when the stars have aligned and I am going to find true love. Somehow, the celestial bodies are always in disagreement. I check to see what signs are compatible with Pisces ...
Posted by
Thursday, 10 October 2013 17:50