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Community Talk makes it easy for you to find relevant, informative articles from First Wives World's leading contributors, all in one place. All content is hand picked by First Wives World and covers a wide range of topics important to you.


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A bad marriage can become a battleground.  Small little arguments that at one time you would have brushed aside or quickly gotten over escalate, become blown up to absurd-proportions, and both draw in previous grievances while laying the ground for future fights.  A question of whose turn it was to clean the cat box can become about the time he thought you were flirting with your co-worker, and it leaves you both breathing in poisonous air.  In short, you've become bitter enemies. 
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Thursday, 19 December 2013 22:00
Even though I know my divorce was mostly for the best, there have been many days and nights when I deeply miss my ex. It has been a while now since he moved out, and I still miss our evenings together watching movies, dinners by the fire, and the morning conversations we used to have over coffee - he in his studio painting, and me curled up on the sofa, planning the day. While I do miss him specifically, I also miss simply having someone close. Divorce can be very lonely, especially if you don't have children at home, or even a pet (or maybe even if you do). In the summer months, I kept myself busy and out of the house as much as possible, but as the temperature plummets I find myself tucked inside most days and nights, the dreary New York winter isolating me more and more. Sometimes I imagine myself frozen inside a house of ice, waiting for the spring to come thaw out my world. Winter is definitely the hardest season of divorce, and with the holidays here, being alone feels especially hard.
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Tuesday, 10 December 2013 16:46
When I turned thirty, people were constantly telling me that I was entering the best decade of life. Apparently, studies suggest that women are happiest in their thirties, and there are several reasons for this. The financial struggles you went through in your twenties are usually mostly over, you still look young, and your sex drive is peaking. If you have children, they are still too young to be troublesome teens. 
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Wednesday, 04 December 2013 22:56
A week after my divorce, I found that I could slowly begin eating again. I would go to the local coffee shop and bring home a salad, or visit the frozen foods section of the grocery store for an organic pizza, which seemed like a cheap, convenient,  and relatively  healthy option. I limited my food choices to items I could easily trash, without dirtying a dish. I hated the idea of leftovers, because leftovers meant another addition to my already full, yet completely useless refrigerator. Useless because, instead of having recognizable food inside, my refrigerator was a vast, mysterious receptacle for unwanted, forgotten, probably spoiled and inedible items. There were expired containers of mayonnnaise, bottles of nearly empty (but not quite) soy sauce, and tupperware filled with god only knows what. I didn't want to deal with them, even though the only logical thing to do was clean out the refrigerator so that I could start anew. After many months, my refrigerator started to seem like the giant, humming, appliance equivalent of my failed marriage. Its contents were not simply old mustard jars and half-eaten slices of pizza; they were festering wounds. The hot sauce became the time he said my friends were losers; the relish screamed I never accepted your family. Clearly the fridge, and my life, needed an overhaul.
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Tuesday, 03 December 2013 21:34
Did you keep your engagement and wedding ring after your divorce or did you sell it? I pawned mine when I was broke and then forgot to get it out of the pawn shop.  For some reason I got rid of all the expensive jewelry my ex gave me, but kept some of the trinkets because I guess they didn’t have the same  symbolism as a wedding or engagement ring.
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Friday, 29 November 2013 21:45
What if you could make your ideal love match materialize in front of you simply by putting the right code into a machine? We now have 3D printers that can print guns, working tools, musical instruments, and even a replica of a human fetus. And this is just the beginning stages of the technology. There are already experiments underway to print human organs using live tissue, and bio-printing is revolutionizing medicine. So what if we could print an entire person? I know it sounds crazy and fantastical, but just to humor me, imagine the possibility. What if you could design your spouse to be everything you ever wanted? How would you write the code that would create that person? Would they be an amalgam of the best parts of old loves, or would you start from scratch? If I could tell a computer to print out in human form my ideal mate, this is what code I would use.
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Wednesday, 20 November 2013 17:28
I recently came across an article in the Huffington Post written by a woman who changed her name after her divorce. And I don't just mean she changed her last name back to her maiden name. She did drop her married surname and reverted to her maiden name, but she also decided to acquire a completely new middle name. The fact that she chose her own name intrigued me, and she wrote that years later, she has no regrets about her decision. She did it out of a desire to start over, and claim her new place in the world as a woman on her own, and as an individual. She didn't necessarily dislike the middle name her parents had given her at birth, but explained that it felt “juvenile, little, limited.” She threw a party to celebrate the name change, and after many glasses of Champagne, emerged triumphantly as a butterfly might from its cocoon. No longer bearing the name of someone else, she felt liberated to start out anew. It made me consider my own name, and why I still regret my decision to change it.
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Tuesday, 19 November 2013 23:36
There's a great, darkly comedic scene in the 2009 movie “It's Complicated” that I think sums up divorce heartbreak for many of us. Meryl Streep gets into a car with co-star Steve Martin, who is listening to a self-help CD on divorce. After he fumbles in embarrassment to shut off the track, she asks him, amused, if he's recently been divorced. “Yes,” he answers quite candidly. “Two and a half years ago.” She shoots him a knowing look and replies, “Well, look at it this way. In two more years, you'll start to feel normal again.” At least, she points out, that was her experience.Which means, if we do the math, it took her almost five years just to start to feel normal again. Give it another two, and maybe she will actually feel normal...which gives us a total of six and a half years. That's a lot of years of mental turmoil to go through. But then again, aren't our lives mostly made up of turmoil and long periods of feeling not quite normal? What is normal supposed to feel like? 
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Wednesday, 13 November 2013 16:39
I wrote about my own post-divorce stress in Tuesday's post, and even though I have already admitted that I am still struggling, I have found a few ways to combat my anxiety. The first and perhaps the most important component to dealing with stress no matter what the cause, is to admit you are under stress and suffering in the first place. This was the hardest part for me, because I like to think that I can do anything, and was working extra hard to prove how tough I was after my divorce. To prove my strength of will, I worked longer hours, I worked out harder, and I did everything I could to feel like I was really in control. But when my body started telling me enough was enough, I finally had to give in and start being kinder to myself. It has been a long process, but I have found some techniques that have actually improved my overall well-being, and hopefully you'll find at least one of them useful.
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Wednesday, 06 November 2013 15:49
I don't know if it's female instinct, or social conditioning, or both, but women want to please others. We want the people we love to be comfortable and happy, even if it means forgoing our own happiness in the effort to satisfy everyone around us. Not all women are this way, but it seems to be a general trend. When I was growing up, I watched my grandmother go out of her way to make sure her husband, children, and grandchildren were happy in every situation, no matter what sacrifices she had to make of herself. She would cook two dinners the same night if someone wanted something she hadn't already prepared. She woke up at six a.m to make breakfast, even though she hated breakfast and never ate it herself. When anyone in the family or in her community asked her to do something, she said yes. She always  said yes to everyone, because she didn't want to upset anyone. And she's not the only woman in my family to live a life of placating others.
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Wednesday, 30 October 2013 14:41