Christmas: There are lights! Millions of them! Hannukah is the festival of lights, yet we got nothing on these Christmas folks. Celebrate the birth of an adorable baby named Jesus! Look he is in a manger surrounded by super cute animals. He is perfect and his mom is a virgin. Then, we have Santa flying around with adorable deer dropping everything you ever wished for down your chimney. Everyone is singing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas, Holly Jolly Christmas even humming that cool Charlie Brown Christmas song.Hannukah: Our homes are unadorned. Maybe if our parents let us, we put one of those electric menorahs in the window and for eight nights we get to screw in another bulb. Yay! Gather round kids! We have to light the menorah with real candles in the kitchen..the wax drips.Now kids picture this, the Jews are being forced out of their homeland and they are wandering the desert with a tiny lamp. Wandering, wandering, and it is getting really fucking dark now, and they still have like another week of wandering to go. This tiny lamp will never burn for the entire time, and they will lose their way and step on things and maybe cut their feet. Lo and behold it burns the whole eight days, coincidentally the week before Christmas.