Episode 26: In Memoriam

Tue, 27 May 2008 09:24:48 -0400

Well, as we all know, Memorial Day was just upon us. Memorial Day signifies many things to many people. It is the near end of another school year. It is the unofficial start of summer. It is the signal that tennis camp and endless barbecues (how much sausage can one woman eat?) and god help us bikini season is right around the corner. (A few months ago I actually had the audacity to purchase a bikini, in a racy leopard print, thinking that in honor of dumping Jeffrey I would also dump the ten pounds that he left behind on my hips and ass. What a surprise, that didn't happen.) Memorial Day is also obviously the holiday where we are meant to remember the people who have fought and died for our country, and while I won't go into a long diatribe about that, I can say that I, who am not sure I would know how to die for any cause, truly appreciate what they have done. That said, and with no disrespect, I would like to take this opportunity to do a shout out to some of the things in my life that despite my best intentions I may have lost, or am losing, or may never lose, but that I still want to remember.

So, here again, in no particular order (order clearly not being my strong point):

1. I want to remember my name. (I'm not kidding. Seriously, I'm starting to forget things.)

2. I want to remember my marriage before it got fucked up. (Hmm...not really.)

3. I want to remember how I texted Jeffrey after the Mother's Day brunch from hell and tore him a new one for sticking me with the three hundred and forty three dollar bill.

4. I want to remember how I then realized I still have our joint savings account number so just for fun I called the bank and drained it.

5. I want to remember that I was not a loser for picking Jeffrey in the first place, and that picking losers doesn't make you one.

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Episode 26: In Memoriam